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Single guys
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There’s lots of hate towards single guys on here and I can see why when your look af how many blank profiles will just spam “hey how’s u” to every female within 100 miles.
But for the guys that actually try, what can we do to get more involved with the scene and more accepted?
I’ve given it a good go. I feel my pictures are ok, I’ve got verifications, but still 90% of any messages I send either go unread or no reply.
I understand I’m not everyone’s cup of tea so you can’t expect the world but I’ve gotten to the point I actually don’t try anymore on here. I find it really hard to be motivated to read the profile and think of an interesting first message for them to just go unnoticed.
Hopefully when things open back up I can get out to some more socials within the scene. What else can a single guy do in your opinion?
Another issue I see is being too pushy. There seems to be a fine line between being “the man” and making the first move and pushing for a social meet or whatever, VS being too forward, too pushy and just too much. It’s a much easier line to walk in real life but in messages on here I find it hard to know where I stand. Any tips in that regard? |
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You're not really asking for profile advise so I can't give it, but just a tiny point -
You give your location as "Read". Is that a place honestly not heard of it, do you mean Reading?
The reason I'm saying this is I think many potential meets will want an idea of roughly where you are, even if you're travelling to them, just to 'place' you. I would list a bigger town nearby, even if you say West London or something, you may find it makes a difference. |
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Nothing wrong with your photos, but your profile text is really generic and zero effort. I personally never reply to profiles that tell me nothing about the person, and I don’t think I’m the only one. |
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"You're not really asking for profile advise so I can't give it, but just a tiny point -
You give your location as "Read". Is that a place honestly not heard of it, do you mean Reading?
The reason I'm saying this is I think many potential meets will want an idea of roughly where you are, even if you're travelling to them, just to 'place' you. I would list a bigger town nearby, even if you say West London or something, you may find it makes a difference. "
Oh my mistake I didn’t even realise thankyou |
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"
Although I’m not looking for specific advice I still appreciate it"
Your post was full of “what can I do” and “any tips” and so on, so you can’t blame people for giving advice. Maybe you should have made it clear it was just a vent post. |
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"
Although I’m not looking for specific advice I still appreciate it
Your post was full of “what can I do” and “any tips” and so on, so you can’t blame people for giving advice. Maybe you should have made it clear it was just a vent post."
Well I’ve expands my profile so thanks |
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"Your pictures are ok , profile is ok to , the only thing I can say is that woman get a lot of messages, so most will get deleted unread "
If that’s the case, then what happens after? I usually just block anyone that doesn’t reply to my message so that I don’t message them again.
My block list is getting silly
Should I message again? No idea how to tackle that problem. I see why it happens. 200 messag was from blank profiles so bulk delete, but I just assume a deleted message means “not interested” and block |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
It's grabbing the attention yes we may not be everyone's cuppa but that's life never let it bother you I always find getting to know someone without any sexual motive a great way to connect then naturally calmly little bit but still keeping the normality in a conversation going I'm sure you know all of this but see it as a reminder if anything buddy and remember difficult times like now can give people hectic lives  |
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"It's grabbing the attention yes we may not be everyone's cuppa but that's life never let it bother you I always find getting to know someone without any sexual motive a great way to connect then naturally calmly little bit but still keeping the normality in a conversation going I'm sure you know all of this but see it as a reminder if anything buddy and remember difficult times like now can give people hectic lives "
I appreciate it bro. I just find it weird, I’ve found more swingers on tinder then I have on here. Something about this site, there’s something I’m missing. Dunno what it is |
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"Your pictures are ok , profile is ok to , the only thing I can say is that woman get a lot of messages, so most will get deleted unread
Yeah some women get up to 100-200 per day. "
Yeah I was on here as part of a couple for a few months and it was ridiculous. A little overwhelming actually |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s not hate, it’s frustration at the fact the overwhelming majority (in my experience) on here don’t actually read profiles, or take an interest in you as a person.
We are in the middle of a pandemic, I don’t know about other women but I reply even less now, simply because of the uncertainty.
If you feel this site isn’t beneficial to you and it’s no longer fun, maybe it’s time to try somewhere else.
I enjoy this site, I have filters & the messages I don’t like I simply delete and block if I need to. You have to understand that as a single make you’re just another fish in the ocean sadly and there’s hundreds just like you.
It can take months for single men on here to become successful, or it can take weeks. If you’re here for the long run, just be patient, maybe tweak your profile and change up you photos and see if that helps. |
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"Your pictures are ok , profile is ok to , the only thing I can say is that woman get a lot of messages, so most will get deleted unread
If that’s the case, then what happens after? I usually just block anyone that doesn’t reply to my message so that I don’t message them again.
My block list is getting silly
Should I message again? No idea how to tackle that problem. I see why it happens. 200 messag was from blank profiles so bulk delete, but I just assume a deleted message means “not interested” and block "
maybe once more , a lot of time far to many messages in your inbox can be very overwhelming so easier to delete unread |
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"Your pictures are ok , profile is ok to , the only thing I can say is that woman get a lot of messages, so most will get deleted unread
Yeah some women get up to 100-200 per day.
Yeah I was on here as part of a couple for a few months and it was ridiculous. A little overwhelming actually "
I can imagine. I don’t even think I answer 50 emails at work let alone sifting through countless messages on Fab. |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"It's grabbing the attention yes we may not be everyone's cuppa but that's life never let it bother you I always find getting to know someone without any sexual motive a great way to connect then naturally calmly little bit but still keeping the normality in a conversation going I'm sure you know all of this but see it as a reminder if anything buddy and remember difficult times like now can give people hectic lives
I appreciate it bro. I just find it weird, I’ve found more swingers on tinder then I have on here. Something about this site, there’s something I’m missing. Dunno what it is "
Hi buddy
Your very welcome and you most likely would because yes people are on here but scattered on most sites as well but as few have mentioned women do get loads of messages and as you have put some might be just very little with no effort anyone in their right mind but get bored of this after reading few so don't take it personally as they might have deleted yours by mistake or not read because of the bulk as messages get pushed down so have patience and when you feel to try again to message hopefully it's at the top and gets read but remember in between that they'll be another bulk remember there is more guys then females on here so they say...
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When your hoping for good advice and most of it is basically “yeah it’s just hard on here as a single guy” 
Seems it’s more of a luck thing I guess? I wonder if there’s a way to stop all the pointless blank profiles, no effort messages? That would really help the site along.
Maybe signing up shouldn’t be so easy? |
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By *os19Man
over a year ago
Edmonton |
"There’s lots of hate towards single guys on here and I can see why when your look af how many blank profiles will just spam “hey how’s u” to every female within 100 miles.
But for the guys that actually try, what can we do to get more involved with the scene and more accepted?
I’ve given it a good go. I feel my pictures are ok, I’ve got verifications, but still 90% of any messages I send either go unread or no reply.
I understand I’m not everyone’s cup of tea so you can’t expect the world but I’ve gotten to the point I actually don’t try anymore on here. I find it really hard to be motivated to read the profile and think of an interesting first message for them to just go unnoticed.
Hopefully when things open back up I can get out to some more socials within the scene. What else can a single guy do in your opinion?
Another issue I see is being too pushy. There seems to be a fine line between being “the man” and making the first move and pushing for a social meet or whatever, VS being too forward, too pushy and just too much. It’s a much easier line to walk in real life but in messages on here I find it hard to know where I stand. Any tips in that regard?"
. You mention you are into sports and your job keeps you fit and you have good pictures but you don’t mention if you are looking to go to clubs or socials what sort of adult fun you like.Also you have my respect for admitting in your profile that you are Bi curiosity but maybe that is working against you with women as going by some previous threads it seems the majority of women and couples prefer single straight guys.This is just a personal opinion but I find for me club , spa and socials work better for me than sending messages. |
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"When your hoping for good advice and most of it is basically “yeah it’s just hard on here as a single guy”
Seems it’s more of a luck thing I guess? I wonder if there’s a way to stop all the pointless blank profiles, no effort messages? That would really help the site along.
Maybe signing up shouldn’t be so easy? "
Yeah your profile is good also just want to reiterate that being single on any site is gonna be a difficult. I also think a more stringent sign up would be welcomed. Nothing extreme, but maybe something to stop the fakes, and people just trying to push onlyfans accounts. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When your hoping for good advice and most of it is basically “yeah it’s just hard on here as a single guy”
Seems it’s more of a luck thing I guess? I wonder if there’s a way to stop all the pointless blank profiles, no effort messages? That would really help the site along.
Maybe signing up shouldn’t be so easy? "
Making it harder to sign up won’t suddenly give you more success.
It’s more to do with if you’re the woman’s type and if she finds your message and photos appealing.
I’m sure it could be easy to make only those who are verified message others, but will it really help you to get a meet? No, because if someone’s not interested they’re just not interested.
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No advice here, I read your profile and looked at your pics and liked what I saw lol. Shame you're so far away, you'd be right up my street (almost said alley, but that would be rude  ) Good luck finding what you're looking for xx |
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"When your hoping for good advice and most of it is basically “yeah it’s just hard on here as a single guy”
Seems it’s more of a luck thing I guess? I wonder if there’s a way to stop all the pointless blank profiles, no effort messages? That would really help the site along.
Maybe signing up shouldn’t be so easy?
Making it harder to sign up won’t suddenly give you more success.
It’s more to do with if you’re the woman’s type and if she finds your message and photos appealing.
I’m sure it could be easy to make only those who are verified message others, but will it really help you to get a meet? No, because if someone’s not interested they’re just not interested.
"
Everyone seems to agree that fake profiles and blank profiles make it harder. Genuine messages get buried.
If signup was way harder it would deter low effort and fake accounts |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When your hoping for good advice and most of it is basically “yeah it’s just hard on here as a single guy”
Seems it’s more of a luck thing I guess? I wonder if there’s a way to stop all the pointless blank profiles, no effort messages? That would really help the site along.
Maybe signing up shouldn’t be so easy?
Making it harder to sign up won’t suddenly give you more success.
It’s more to do with if you’re the woman’s type and if she finds your message and photos appealing.
I’m sure it could be easy to make only those who are verified message others, but will it really help you to get a meet? No, because if someone’s not interested they’re just not interested.
Everyone seems to agree that fake profiles and blank profiles make it harder. Genuine messages get buried.
If signup was way harder it would deter low effort and fake accounts "
But that won’t make it easier to get a meet per se, as I said, if they’re not interested they’re not interested and less profiles won’t change that.
There’s lots of similar sites that require things before you can message and trust me it doesn’t stop low effort people from making the effort to sign up & then continue to be lazy with their profile & messages.
I’m sure we’ve all seen profiles where someone has wrote a bunch of letters just to fill the character count for said website.
I don’t think it’s within the pipeline for Fab to make it harder to sign up so probably best to focus on what you can do with your own profile rather than what the site owners can do.
A tweak here and there can help! |
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"When your hoping for good advice and most of it is basically “yeah it’s just hard on here as a single guy”
Seems it’s more of a luck thing I guess? I wonder if there’s a way to stop all the pointless blank profiles, no effort messages? That would really help the site along.
Maybe signing up shouldn’t be so easy?
Making it harder to sign up won’t suddenly give you more success.
It’s more to do with if you’re the woman’s type and if she finds your message and photos appealing.
I’m sure it could be easy to make only those who are verified message others, but will it really help you to get a meet? No, because if someone’s not interested they’re just not interested.
Everyone seems to agree that fake profiles and blank profiles make it harder. Genuine messages get buried.
If signup was way harder it would deter low effort and fake accounts
But that won’t make it easier to get a meet per se, as I said, if they’re not interested they’re not interested and less profiles won’t change that.
There’s lots of similar sites that require things before you can message and trust me it doesn’t stop low effort people from making the effort to sign up & then continue to be lazy with their profile & messages.
I’m sure we’ve all seen profiles where someone has wrote a bunch of letters just to fill the character count for said website.
I don’t think it’s within the pipeline for Fab to make it harder to sign up so probably best to focus on what you can do with your own profile rather than what the site owners can do.
A tweak here and there can help! "
It’s a fair comment, but remember, nothing comes without demand. If people don’t like fake profiles and low edgier messages from brand new profiles then they should hopefully ask or work towards something to stop that.
And in the mean time work on there self as well.
All I know is that plenty are of genuine messages get lost in the sea of shitty messages. If they weren’t there you’d have a better chance of your message being seen, and a better chance of a meet. Makes sense to me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
It’s a fair comment, but remember, nothing comes without demand. If people don’t like fake profiles and low edgier messages from brand new profiles then they should hopefully ask or work towards something to stop that.
And in the mean time work on there self as well.
All I know is that plenty are of genuine messages get lost in the sea of shitty messages. If they weren’t there you’d have a better chance of your message being seen, and a better chance of a meet. Makes sense to me "
I don’t know about other women but fake profiles aren’t a problem for me as fake profiles are usually female profiles, low effort messages aren’t a problem either as I delete what I don’t like. A better chance of your message being seen doesn’t equate to a better chance of meeting, there is no guarantee.
I get hundreds of messages and sure some get “lost” in the deletion process, but it doesn’t mean that person was someone I was interested in, there’s always the chance of sending a second message also.
You cannot change the fake profiles, or the lazy profiles or the “fancy a fuck” messages, hence why I say it’s best to focus on what you’re doing, as that’s about the only thing you are actually in control of here. |
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"
It’s a fair comment, but remember, nothing comes without demand. If people don’t like fake profiles and low edgier messages from brand new profiles then they should hopefully ask or work towards something to stop that.
And in the mean time work on there self as well.
All I know is that plenty are of genuine messages get lost in the sea of shitty messages. If they weren’t there you’d have a better chance of your message being seen, and a better chance of a meet. Makes sense to me
I don’t know about other women but fake profiles aren’t a problem for me as fake profiles are usually female profiles, low effort messages aren’t a problem either as I delete what I don’t like. A better chance of your message being seen doesn’t equate to a better chance of meeting, there is no guarantee.
I get hundreds of messages and sure some get “lost” in the deletion process, but it doesn’t mean that person was someone I was interested in, there’s always the chance of sending a second message also.
You cannot change the fake profiles, or the lazy profiles or the “fancy a fuck” messages, hence why I say it’s best to focus on what you’re doing, as that’s about the only thing you are actually in control of here. "
Gonna have to disagree
Message doesn’t get seen = 0%
Message gets see = not 0%
Just maths |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Gonna have to disagree
Message doesn’t get seen = 0%
Message gets see = not 0%
Just maths "
But everyone on here has the ability to use filters. You can filter out ages, new profiles, non verified profiles and so on.
Many women use those filters, so if it was as easy as getting rid of the low effort and fake profiles to make it easier for you to get a meet as you say, surely some of you would already have more success, no?
There’s guys on here who don’t struggle at all, so what are they doing that others aren’t?
I guess it’s much easier to blame the lack of success on Fab on others instead of looking at what you may be doing wrong, or what you could change.
Just my two pennies worth. |
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"
Gonna have to disagree
Message doesn’t get seen = 0%
Message gets see = not 0%
Just maths
But everyone on here has the ability to use filters. You can filter out ages, new profiles, non verified profiles and so on.
Many women use those filters, so if it was as easy as getting rid of the low effort and fake profiles to make it easier for you to get a meet as you say, surely some of you would already have more success, no?
There’s guys on here who don’t struggle at all, so what are they doing that others aren’t?
I guess it’s much easier to blame the lack of success on Fab on others instead of looking at what you may be doing wrong, or what you could change.
Just my two pennies worth. "
No one is saying it guarantees a meet. We’re saying that if genuine peoples messages get buried by shit messages, that lowers everyone’s enjoyment.
It’s lowers my chance of my message being seen and a meeting happening
It’s lowers everyone else’s chance of them seeing my message, where I might be exactly what they looking for.
And the beautiful thing is that we can all do both, we can work on ourselves, and make suggestions that make everyone’s time on hers better. It’s not an either or kinda thing.
Just my 2c, I’m here to try make the site better. Maybe you prefer it with fakes and no effort messages, most of us dont |
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Lots of love for you guys as well. I wouldn't be on here if it wasn't for single men. (This is not an invite for loads of one liners/worders or fancy a fuck type messages  )
Just keep blocking the haters and the ones who quite clearly feel they're better than single men and don't give them a second thought x |
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"Lots of love for you guys as well. I wouldn't be on here if it wasn't for single men. (This is not an invite for loads of one liners/worders or fancy a fuck type messages )
Just keep blocking the haters and the ones who quite clearly feel they're better than single men and don't give them a second thought x"
Aww thanks that’s really nice to say.
I started blocking everyone that deleted my message as I thought that was a polite “no Thankyou”.
Now I’m learning lots of people bulk delete because they get so many useless messages.
Makes me wonder how many people I have blocked that never even saw my message  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
No one is saying it guarantees a meet. We’re saying that if genuine peoples messages get buried by shit messages, that lowers everyone’s enjoyment.
It’s lowers my chance of my message being seen and a meeting happening
It’s lowers everyone else’s chance of them seeing my message, where I might be exactly what they looking for.
And the beautiful thing is that we can all do both, we can work on ourselves, and make suggestions that make everyone’s time on hers better. It’s not an either or kinda thing.
Just my 2c, I’m here to try make the site better. Maybe you prefer it with fakes and no effort messages, most of us dont"
As I said, the fakes and no effort messages don’t really bother me as I prefer to use my own initiative and use my filters to filter out as much crap as I can which in turn makes my experience on Fab more positive, and it works for the most part.
If I feel it’s hindering my experience I’d have no problem using the feedback form to let the admins know my opinion.
If you’re here to make the site better have you relayed your feedback to the admins of this site using the form?
You can do that, so I hope you’ve done so. |
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"
No one is saying it guarantees a meet. We’re saying that if genuine peoples messages get buried by shit messages, that lowers everyone’s enjoyment.
It’s lowers my chance of my message being seen and a meeting happening
It’s lowers everyone else’s chance of them seeing my message, where I might be exactly what they looking for.
And the beautiful thing is that we can all do both, we can work on ourselves, and make suggestions that make everyone’s time on hers better. It’s not an either or kinda thing.
Just my 2c, I’m here to try make the site better. Maybe you prefer it with fakes and no effort messages, most of us dont
As I said, the fakes and no effort messages don’t really bother me as I prefer to use my own initiative and use my filters to filter out as much crap as I can which in turn makes my experience on Fab more positive, and it works for the most part.
If I feel it’s hindering my experience I’d have no problem using the feedback form to let the admins know my opinion.
If you’re here to make the site better have you relayed your feedback to the admins of this site using the form?
You can do that, so I hope you’ve done so. "
Actually had no idea they had that! Thanks I’ll put it in now amazing! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Actually had no idea they had that! Thanks I’ll put it in now amazing! "
If you click “Home” then scroll to the bottom of the page and click “contact” you can go from there and click “I‘ve got a suggestion/feedback” |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Lots of love for you guys as well. I wouldn't be on here if it wasn't for single men. (This is not an invite for loads of one liners/worders or fancy a fuck type messages )
Just keep blocking the haters and the ones who quite clearly feel they're better than single men and don't give them a second thought x"
I'd go with this too, only interested in single men. Just need to keep the faith lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
It’s a fair comment, but remember, nothing comes without demand. If people don’t like fake profiles and low edgier messages from brand new profiles then they should hopefully ask or work towards something to stop that.
And in the mean time work on there self as well.
All I know is that plenty are of genuine messages get lost in the sea of shitty messages. If they weren’t there you’d have a better chance of your message being seen, and a better chance of a meet. Makes sense to me
I don’t know about other women but fake profiles aren’t a problem for me as fake profiles are usually female profiles, low effort messages aren’t a problem either as I delete what I don’t like. A better chance of your message being seen doesn’t equate to a better chance of meeting, there is no guarantee.
I get hundreds of messages and sure some get “lost” in the deletion process, but it doesn’t mean that person was someone I was interested in, there’s always the chance of sending a second message also.
You cannot change the fake profiles, or the lazy profiles or the “fancy a fuck” messages, hence why I say it’s best to focus on what you’re doing, as that’s about the only thing you are actually in control of here.
Gonna have to disagree
Message doesn’t get seen = 0%
Message gets see = not 0%
Just maths "
Delete your sent messages so you never know dude. Don't get to hung up about it. |
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"Lots of love for you guys as well. I wouldn't be on here if it wasn't for single men. (This is not an invite for loads of one liners/worders or fancy a fuck type messages )
Just keep blocking the haters and the ones who quite clearly feel they're better than single men and don't give them a second thought x
Aww thanks that’s really nice to say.
I started blocking everyone that deleted my message as I thought that was a polite “no Thankyou”.
Now I’m learning lots of people bulk delete because they get so many useless messages.
Makes me wonder how many people I have blocked that never even saw my message "
I did that too for a while. Blocked everyone that in my opinion I'd never meet. Resulted in two occasions scrolling through the block list to unblock someone I'd come across at a club or party that I totally got on with. One of them had even dropped off the page and i had to unblock loads of people before he resurfaced. So i stopped being trigger happy with the block button
I use the notes feature a lot. Mainly for people that got a polite no thanks, or if they have some stupid status update / forum comment that i found totally off putting and could use it for messages left unanswered as well, so there's no repeat messaging x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Tips for being successful on fabs as a woman
1. Exist
Tips if your a guy
1. Be hot.
2. Don’t be not hot "
I get where you're going with that but it's not a cakewalk for single women either, yea some might get gazillions of messages but they are mostly cat litter tbh. I guess both have similar issues just from a different viewpoint maybe? |
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"Tips for being successful on fabs as a woman
1. Exist
Tips if your a guy
1. Be hot.
2. Don’t be not hot
I get where you're going with that but it's not a cakewalk for single women either, yea some might get gazillions of messages but they are mostly cat litter tbh. I guess both have similar issues just from a different viewpoint maybe? "
Dunno about that entirely but I do agree it’s not perfect for either |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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nothing worse in my opinion than guys blaming other guys for there lack of progress ...a guy who rude or abusive or no profile or whatever in only going to damage himself ... the reason your failing is because there are lots of you and your not fitting what people are looking for its that simple .. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I used to have a fairly in-depth profile and found it didn’t matter so got rid of it. Maybe I should fix that.
Although I’m not looking for specific advice I still appreciate it"
you could write paragraphs nate and still get nowhere sadly. Most couples are run by the guy and lots of fems are just on here to chat or have their egos boosted |
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"I used to have a fairly in-depth profile and found it didn’t matter so got rid of it. Maybe I should fix that.
Although I’m not looking for specific advice I still appreciate ityou could write paragraphs nate and still get nowhere sadly. Most couples are run by the guy and lots of fems are just on here to chat or have their egos boosted "
Glad someone says it lol. Find it weird I’ve found more swingers on Tinder then on here.
Hot photos on here is cool but it’s turned into a “who can get top spot” daily competitions |
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By *rx1Couple
over a year ago
North of Okehampton, South of Bideford |
Well OP you have said you have given up in one breath and are asking for advice on what you can do in the next.
The thing is, when i've looked at your profile you say you are straight, but you are looking for TV's in your interest. For me and maybe other females that would put me off.
Some like to see a well dressed gent, but your options are builder or rugby player. Look it is your profile and you have to decide first and most how you want it and how you sell yourself.
But Hey I am please for one, you are not a "Hey Hows u" type anyway.
Good luck |
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"Well OP you have said you have given up in one breath and are asking for advice on what you can do in the next.
The thing is, when i've looked at your profile you say you are straight, but you are looking for TV's in your interest. For me and maybe other females that would put me off.
Some like to see a well dressed gent, but your options are builder or rugby player. Look it is your profile and you have to decide first and most how you want it and how you sell yourself.
But Hey I am please for one, you are not a "Hey Hows u" type anyway.
Good luck"
It’s not gay to put a wig on a man and pretend it’s a girl.
How could that be gay if your pretending it’s a woman
Just joking (if anyone’s seen flight of the con chords).
I actually didn’t even realise that was in my profile |
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"
Gonna have to disagree
Message doesn’t get seen = 0%
Message gets see = not 0%
Just maths
But everyone on here has the ability to use filters. You can filter out ages, new profiles, non verified profiles and so on.
Many women use those filters, so if it was as easy as getting rid of the low effort and fake profiles to make it easier for you to get a meet as you say, surely some of you would already have more success, no?
There’s guys on here who don’t struggle at all, so what are they doing that others aren’t?
I guess it’s much easier to blame the lack of success on Fab on others instead of looking at what you may be doing wrong, or what you could change.
Just my two pennies worth. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Lots of love for you guys as well. I wouldn't be on here if it wasn't for single men. (This is not an invite for loads of one liners/worders or fancy a fuck type messages )
Just keep blocking the haters and the ones who quite clearly feel they're better than single men and don't give them a second thought x
Aww thanks that’s really nice to say.
I started blocking everyone that deleted my message as I thought that was a polite “no Thankyou”.
Now I’m learning lots of people bulk delete because they get so many useless messages.
Makes me wonder how many people I have blocked that never even saw my message "
You hit the nail on the head.
In our opinion single guys blocking women, couples who haven't read / replied are totally shooting themselves in the foot.
In the past we have met people who had previously messaged us (you can see this by the message thread) but the 1st message was overlooked in a mass delete.
I know how hard it can dealing with a couples account messages so I absolutely do not envy single women who get even more messages.
Also do anyone know if when an inbox gets full up the oldest messages fall off?
KJ
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By *rx1Couple
over a year ago
North of Okehampton, South of Bideford |
"Well OP you have said you have given up in one breath and are asking for advice on what you can do in the next.
The thing is, when i've looked at your profile you say you are straight, but you are looking for TV's in your interest. For me and maybe other females that would put me off.
Some like to see a well dressed gent, but your options are builder or rugby player. Look it is your profile and you have to decide first and most how you want it and how you sell yourself.
But Hey I am please for one, you are not a "Hey Hows u" type anyway.
Good luck
It’s not gay to put a wig on a man and pretend it’s a girl.
How could that be gay if your pretending it’s a woman
Just joking (if anyone’s seen flight of the con chords).
I actually didn’t even realise that was in my profile"
Yeah i hear that quite a lot " i didnt realise it was on my profile" Guess it must of been there all that time, certainly over the year and you didnt realise it...  There are some real little tinkers on here..  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Well OP you have said you have given up in one breath and are asking for advice on what you can do in the next.
The thing is, when i've looked at your profile you say you are straight, but you are looking for TV's in your interest. For me and maybe other females that would put me off.
Some like to see a well dressed gent, but your options are builder or rugby player. Look it is your profile and you have to decide first and most how you want it and how you sell yourself.
But Hey I am please for one, you are not a "Hey Hows u" type anyway.
Good luck
It’s not gay to put a wig on a man and pretend it’s a girl.
How could that be gay if your pretending it’s a woman
Just joking (if anyone’s seen flight of the con chords).
I actually didn’t even realise that was in my profile
Yeah i hear that quite a lot " i didnt realise it was on my profile" Guess it must of been there all that time, certainly over the year and you didnt realise it... There are some real little tinkers on here.. "
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"Lots of love for you guys as well. I wouldn't be on here if it wasn't for single men. (This is not an invite for loads of one liners/worders or fancy a fuck type messages )
Just keep blocking the haters and the ones who quite clearly feel they're better than single men and don't give them a second thought x
Aww thanks that’s really nice to say.
I started blocking everyone that deleted my message as I thought that was a polite “no Thankyou”.
Now I’m learning lots of people bulk delete because they get so many useless messages.
Makes me wonder how many people I have blocked that never even saw my message
You hit the nail on the head.
In our opinion single guys blocking women, couples who haven't read / replied are totally shooting themselves in the foot.
In the past we have met people who had previously messaged us (you can see this by the message thread) but the 1st message was overlooked in a mass delete.
I know how hard it can dealing with a couples account messages so I absolutely do not envy single women who get even more messages.
Also do anyone know if when an inbox gets full up the oldest messages fall off?
KJ
"
Ill have to stop doing that then! |
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"There’s lots of hate towards single guys on here and I can see why when your look af how many blank profiles will just spam “hey how’s u” to every female within 100 miles.
But for the guys that actually try, what can we do to get more involved with the scene and more accepted?
I’ve given it a good go. I feel my pictures are ok, I’ve got verifications, but still 90% of any messages I send either go unread or no reply.
I understand I’m not everyone’s cup of tea so you can’t expect the world but I’ve gotten to the point I actually don’t try anymore on here. I find it really hard to be motivated to read the profile and think of an interesting first message for them to just go unnoticed.
Hopefully when things open back up I can get out to some more socials within the scene. What else can a single guy do in your opinion?
Another issue I see is being too pushy. There seems to be a fine line between being “the man” and making the first move and pushing for a social meet or whatever, VS being too forward, too pushy and just too much. It’s a much easier line to walk in real life but in messages on here I find it hard to know where I stand. Any tips in that regard?"
As a single fat bald old guy, you wouldn’t believe the amount of replies I get. Even if it’s a “no thank you”. I’ll still reply to her thanking her for taking the time to respond, and make myself availabale if she ever wants to just chat/vent.
It’s not about numbers, it’s about quality. Respect the person you’re talking to, get to know her, don’t be sexting from the go, read her profile and respond, if her profile is blank, maybe find something to talk about from her photos (again, not sexting), or talk about something that interests you. Just be yourself.
The point I’m making is don’t be a copy and paste dude. Don’t be messaging 100s in the hope of getting one message back.
Get on the forums, stay positive and talk to people, not just females.
Best of luck, I hope you find what you’re looking for. |
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"Tips for being successful on fabs as a woman
1. Exist
Tips if your a guy
1. Be hot.
2. Don’t be not hot "
I know a fair few guys on fab who are very successful, who if someone described them as hot they would probably collapse in laughter. They just understand the swinging community well and understand how to get a good reputation. |
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"Tips for being successful on fabs as a woman
1. Exist
Tips if your a guy
1. Be hot.
2. Don’t be not hot
I know a fair few guys on fab who are very successful, who if someone described them as hot they would probably collapse in laughter. They just understand the swinging community well and understand how to get a good reputation."
^this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Tips for being successful on fabs as a woman
1. Exist
Tips if your a guy
1. Be hot.
2. Don’t be not hot
I know a fair few guys on fab who are very successful, who if someone described them as hot they would probably collapse in laughter. They just understand the swinging community well and understand how to get a good reputation.
^this"
This a 100%
There's a million miles of different between a single guy here on fab hoping to get a free shag with no strings and a genuine single male swinger who understands and immerses himself into the swinging lifestyle and world.
We are fortunate to have met a number of the later to whom we now consider friends.
KJ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I used to have a fairly in-depth profile and found it didn’t matter so got rid of it. Maybe I should fix that.
Although I’m not looking for specific advice I still appreciate ityou could write paragraphs nate and still get nowhere sadly. Most couples are run by the guy and lots of fems are just on here to chat or have their egos boosted "
yes some people male AND female are only here for an ego boost but to assume lots are is frankly pretty rude. |
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"
Although I’m not looking for specific advice I still appreciate it
Your post was full of “what can I do” and “any tips” and so on, so you can’t blame people for giving advice. Maybe you should have made it clear it was just a vent post.
Well I’ve expands my profile so thanks "
And it’s much better and more interesting now |
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"I used to have a fairly in-depth profile and found it didn’t matter so got rid of it. Maybe I should fix that.
Although I’m not looking for specific advice I still appreciate ityou could write paragraphs nate and still get nowhere sadly. Most couples are run by the guy and lots of fems are just on here to chat or have their egos boosted
yes some people male AND female are only here for an ego boost but to assume lots are is frankly pretty rude. "
Yup. I mean, I’ve only been chatting for the past year, and still will be for some time to come, but before that I was very active and intend to be again. I’m just fussy. |
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By *JohnMan
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
I haven't made any real effort to meet on fab, but I did learn some things from elsewhere that might apply here.
If you have the sort of looks that make women's clothes fall off, things might be different. I don't know how it works for those men.
I had a near empty profile and no public photos. What I did was join in the forum and in chat. We'd talk about anything and everything. Sometimes even sex.
I got to know people that way, eventually met some of them in person at the big socials, and with some of them things continued from there.
My priorities were 1: social interaction, 2: friendship, ... way down the list: sex. Swinging wasn't a short-cut to sex. It was "these are my people, I belong in this community".
Sex with a stranger you know almost nothing about? Most women here have hundreds of them to chose from. Sex with a friend you've known for a while and already like in other ways? That's an easier choice.
Then I found clubs. It's a similar deal there. I've made some great friends through the club, and feel like it's my real home.
That's just my experience. No doubt it's different for others. But I have no complaints about how it's worked out for me. |
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By *orneytwoCouple
over a year ago
Not far from lichfield |
SPOT ON you cannot hate someone you do not know.but most of the men would sat at least 499 out of 500
Really are never going to find fun on this site. Most of the girls and couples on this site are getting great sex. So why would sending messages like look at Me really work for a single man. But we still get 100s every week. |
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"Well OP you have said you have given up in one breath and are asking for advice on what you can do in the next.
The thing is, when i've looked at your profile you say you are straight, but you are looking for TV's in your interest. For me and maybe other females that would put me off.
Some like to see a well dressed gent, but your options are builder or rugby player. Look it is your profile and you have to decide first and most how you want it and how you sell yourself.
But Hey I am please for one, you are not a "Hey Hows u" type anyway.
Good luck
It’s not gay to put a wig on a man and pretend it’s a girl.
How could that be gay if your pretending it’s a woman
Just joking (if anyone’s seen flight of the con chords).
I actually didn’t even realise that was in my profile"
That's, er, at least two fairly major things you didn't realise were on your own profile tbh.
More checking, more effort maybe? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I like a Chinese takeaway,I also like an Indian takeaway,or a kebab,or a chippy meal
Im spoilt for choice with the number of flyers come through my door
But,you know what?
Not once have I picked up the phone to acknowledge that I got their advertising promotion, unsolicited through my letterbox.
I will of course take advantage of said flyers,when the mood takes us both,but most nights,we are both very content with a home made meal. |
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We’re a couple that just get 20-30 messages a day from single guys (if we go on cam this can be 300-500 in a couple of hours easily).
One thing most single guys don’t realise is they’re not offering anything. We’re not against meetings single guys, but when most messages are just “wanna fuck” or “do you like my dick” it gets a bit boring and so we’d rather give our attention to couples.
The issue is I guess is that probably 80% of guys on here are pests which gives the 20% a bad name. |
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By *orneytwoCouple
over a year ago
Not far from lichfield |
So right but why can they not see it.our profile tells them what to do and what not to do. But 99% still fuck it up.how do people like that have a life at all.you would think they could not even cross the road.so why would people like to meet them . |
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"So right but why can they not see it.our profile tells them what to do and what not to do. But 99% still fuck it up.how do people like that have a life at all.you would think they could not even cross the road.so why would people like to meet them ."
I think the issue is they don’t read, they just play the numbers game and message as many people as possible. We’ve found since blocking unverified profiles it has improved things a little bit but still not perfect. |
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It took me over 2 years to crack fab OP. It takes time to build friendships and contacts and trust.
Stick with it is what I say, your a fit looking guy so you should do well eventually.
If I could offer two bits of advice I would say change your profile name to something more classy and lose the hi viz and put your suit on  |
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Even know we're not looking to meet single guys, we don't mind chatting to them and always try to reply, but quite a lot don't seem to bother to read our profile and then expect us to want to meet them after their first message without even knowing what they look like.
That majority does give single guys a bad rap on here, but we've still had some really good chats with a lot of the guys on here. |
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"
Sex with a stranger you know almost nothing about? Most women here have hundreds of them to chose from. Sex with a friend you've known for a while and already like in other ways? That's an easier choice."
Some great advice you’ve posted but I had to add one caveat......be careful not to be too friendly or you’ll be freindzoned!!! Haha happened twice to me this year already!!! |
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The biggest thing to do is to create and decide upon realistic expectations. You probability won't get results much different to them but will when they are unrealistic.
Most people will just not match with most others. That means that on fab most messages shouldn't get a reoly, to reflect that lack of a match and current interest.
We do help ourselves when we completely accept Fab rules - no reply = no interest.
Polite no thanks are pleasant but expect no reply to most messages that you send. That's reality. |
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"When your hoping for good advice and most of it is basically “yeah it’s just hard on here as a single guy”
Seems it’s more of a luck thing I guess? I wonder if there’s a way to stop all the pointless blank profiles, no effort messages? That would really help the site along.
Maybe signing up shouldn’t be so easy? "
I don’t think you should worry about other people and their blank profiles, just focus on your own journey. You seem to be quite hard on yourself. We are in a pandemic, which has come with a lot of social restrictions. It is harder to meet than usual, and that is just it. This will pass and you may find it easier meeting people in person at clubs, socials etc. |
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By *harAndBryCouple
over a year ago
Peterborough / Stamford |
"I understand I’m not everyone’s cup of tea so you can’t expect the world but I’ve gotten to the point I actually don’t try anymore on here."
Honestly, it's just a numbers game. Single women get so many messages that they simply have to ignore most of them. You've not asked for profile advice but if you were local to us, we'd message you back and as long as you're okay looking, we'd meet you. Keep trying, maybe concentrate on couples if that's one of your "things" as we get fewer messages than single guys. That way you might get some meets and veris after lockdown. |
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