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Betrayal
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I’m not ok today. I’ve been really, awfully betrayed by someone that’s supposed to care about me and I don’t know how to deal with it.
I’ve been on the phone to my friends all day today trying to make sense of it, but being stuck at home on my own is really hard.
Does anyone have any tips for dealing with hard stuff on your own in lockdown? Because I’m totally falling apart. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hang in there love, it really is about waking up one day and finding that you haven't the strength to carry on feeling the depth of anguish you are doing at the moment xx |
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"I’m not ok today. I’ve been really, awfully betrayed by someone that’s supposed to care about me and I don’t know how to deal with it.
I’ve been on the phone to my friends all day today trying to make sense of it, but being stuck at home on my own is really hard.
Does anyone have any tips for dealing with hard stuff on your own in lockdown? Because I’m totally falling apart. "
I think accept the feelings don’t try and fight them or deny them .... give yourself a wallow time ... 24/48 hours a week whatever your want and just do what you need to do - stay in bed... eat ice cream whatever gets you through. Then get up and take it a day at a time. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hang in there love, it really is about waking up one day and finding that you haven't the strength to carry on feeling the depth of anguish you are doing at the moment xx"
Thank you x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I’m not ok today. I’ve been really, awfully betrayed by someone that’s supposed to care about me and I don’t know how to deal with it.
I’ve been on the phone to my friends all day today trying to make sense of it, but being stuck at home on my own is really hard.
Does anyone have any tips for dealing with hard stuff on your own in lockdown? Because I’m totally falling apart.
I think accept the feelings don’t try and fight them or deny them .... give yourself a wallow time ... 24/48 hours a week whatever your want and just do what you need to do - stay in bed... eat ice cream whatever gets you through. Then get up and take it a day at a time. "
Thank you x |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
Emotions are hard enough to deal with at the best of times, but when you are on your own it makes it 100x worse.
Don’t try to hide from them, but don’t let them control you. It’s ok to have sad days, but try and avoid falling into a downward spiral.
Distract yourself, keep your brain active so it doesn’t drift to the places you don’t want to go to yet. That could be something simple like taking up a new craft, working on something you already do, or doing those things you have put off (going through your wardrobe, sortin out the cupboards etc.)
Time is the best healer, the more time between yourself and the issue the easier it becomes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Try to distract yourself so you aren't dwelling on it so much.
Other than that, I'm afraid it's just time.
Thank you "
Try telling yourself that you are better off finding out now rather than later x get your chin up and remember that it's their loss not yours. Keep reminding yourself that you are too good for that x try and not think about it x if you do you should remember all the bad times and not all the good times x head up x you're better off without someone like that x good luck x  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Emotions are hard enough to deal with at the best of times, but when you are on your own it makes it 100x worse.
Don’t try to hide from them, but don’t let them control you. It’s ok to have sad days, but try and avoid falling into a downward spiral.
Distract yourself, keep your brain active so it doesn’t drift to the places you don’t want to go to yet. That could be something simple like taking up a new craft, working on something you already do, or doing those things you have put off (going through your wardrobe, sortin out the cupboards etc.)
Time is the best healer, the more time between yourself and the issue the easier it becomes."
Thank you. It’s so hard not to just be able to go see a friend or go out for the day or something. I’m just rattling round my house feeling sad and seeing reminders all over the place. Feel trapped, it’s rubbish. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Try to distract yourself so you aren't dwelling on it so much.
Other than that, I'm afraid it's just time.
Thank you
Try telling yourself that you are better off finding out now rather than later x get your chin up and remember that it's their loss not yours. Keep reminding yourself that you are too good for that x try and not think about it x if you do you should remember all the bad times and not all the good times x head up x you're better off without someone like that x good luck x "
Thank you. It’s so hard though isn’t it? X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Try to distract yourself so you aren't dwelling on it so much.
Other than that, I'm afraid it's just time.
Thank you
Try telling yourself that you are better off finding out now rather than later x get your chin up and remember that it's their loss not yours. Keep reminding yourself that you are too good for that x try and not think about it x if you do you should remember all the bad times and not all the good times x head up x you're better off without someone like that x good luck x
Thank you. It’s so hard though isn’t it? X"
Sent you a message a few minutes ago to your inbox x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I know what you're going through OP. I was in the same position as your for quite a number of months last year. I was betrayed terribly as well, had to go through a break up during lockdown last year. I didn't eat or sleep for months, I was crying every day and my hair was falling out. The pain was unbearable. The anger didn't kick in until the fourth month then I started comfort eating. He showed his true colours so he made it quite easy for me to get over him but I'll never forget what he did to me, how he did and how cruel it was. Give yourself time like I did, you'll find yourself again x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"One day you will look back and see this as something that formed you into a stronger person.Be kind to yourself and keep going better is yet to come. "
Hope so. Thank you. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I know what you're going through OP. I was in the same position as your for quite a number of months last year. I was betrayed terribly as well, had to go through a break up during lockdown last year. I didn't eat or sleep for months, I was crying every day and my hair was falling out. The pain was unbearable. The anger didn't kick in until the fourth month then I started comfort eating. He showed his true colours so he made it quite easy for me to get over him but I'll never forget what he did to me, how he did and how cruel it was. Give yourself time like I did, you'll find yourself again x"
That’s just how I feel. I’m absolutely lost. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"One day you will look back and see this as something that formed you into a stronger person.Be kind to yourself and keep going better is yet to come.
Hope so. Thank you. "
Great advice. One day you will look back at it and think how stronger it's made you  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I know what you're going through OP. I was in the same position as your for quite a number of months last year. I was betrayed terribly as well, had to go through a break up during lockdown last year. I didn't eat or sleep for months, I was crying every day and my hair was falling out. The pain was unbearable. The anger didn't kick in until the fourth month then I started comfort eating. He showed his true colours so he made it quite easy for me to get over him but I'll never forget what he did to me, how he did and how cruel it was. Give yourself time like I did, you'll find yourself again x
That’s just how I feel. I’m absolutely lost. "
I was exactly the same but it will just take some time. If I can get through it then you will too. Please get rid of the reminders but only when you're ready. I did it and it helped me move on. I'm by myself too but I started doing online courses and doing meditation to calm my body and mind and it's really helping. Take care and stay safe x |
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Find something that can distract you a bit so your mind doesn’t wander too far into darker thoughts. Maybe take up a new hobby or something that you’ve always wanted to do. We are all here for you if you need an ear for a shoulder. My pms are always open if you need someone to talk to. Sending hugs and good vibes your way OP |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Find something that can distract you a bit so your mind doesn’t wander too far into darker thoughts. Maybe take up a new hobby or something that you’ve always wanted to do. We are all here for you if you need an ear for a shoulder. My pms are always open if you need someone to talk to. Sending hugs and good vibes your way OP"
Thank you so much. That’s really kind. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m not ok today. I’ve been really, awfully betrayed by someone that’s supposed to care about me and I don’t know how to deal with it.
I’ve been on the phone to my friends all day today trying to make sense of it, but being stuck at home on my own is really hard.
Does anyone have any tips for dealing with hard stuff on your own in lockdown? Because I’m totally falling apart. "
My best friend, lover, soul mate, mother of my child, made a decision a few years ago, which almost ended my world. Everything I relied on to get me through the day, disappeared. I was lost. It was terrible.
I found a huge help in music. The things I knew but more importantly the things I'd never heard before. At 3 am on a Wednesday morning, a track Id never heard before, would make me smile and I realised that it wouldn't always be this bad.
Maybe you can enjoy music too, at the very least, it'll pass the time. Paul, x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I know what you're going through OP. I was in the same position as your for quite a number of months last year. I was betrayed terribly as well, had to go through a break up during lockdown last year. I didn't eat or sleep for months, I was crying every day and my hair was falling out. The pain was unbearable. The anger didn't kick in until the fourth month then I started comfort eating. He showed his true colours so he made it quite easy for me to get over him but I'll never forget what he did to me, how he did and how cruel it was. Give yourself time like I did, you'll find yourself again x
That’s just how I feel. I’m absolutely lost.
I was exactly the same but it will just take some time. If I can get through it then you will too. Please get rid of the reminders but only when you're ready. I did it and it helped me move on. I'm by myself too but I started doing online courses and doing meditation to calm my body and mind and it's really helping. Take care and stay safe x"
Great advice and we'll done to you x I've been there before too so I can relate to everything that you said there x  |
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"Find something that can distract you a bit so your mind doesn’t wander too far into darker thoughts. Maybe take up a new hobby or something that you’ve always wanted to do. We are all here for you if you need an ear for a shoulder. My pms are always open if you need someone to talk to. Sending hugs and good vibes your way OP
Thank you so much. That’s really kind. "
No worries |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I’m not ok today. I’ve been really, awfully betrayed by someone that’s supposed to care about me and I don’t know how to deal with it.
I’ve been on the phone to my friends all day today trying to make sense of it, but being stuck at home on my own is really hard.
Does anyone have any tips for dealing with hard stuff on your own in lockdown? Because I’m totally falling apart.
My best friend, lover, soul mate, mother of my child, made a decision a few years ago, which almost ended my world. Everything I relied on to get me through the day, disappeared. I was lost. It was terrible.
I found a huge help in music. The things I knew but more importantly the things I'd never heard before. At 3 am on a Wednesday morning, a track Id never heard before, would make me smile and I realised that it wouldn't always be this bad.
Maybe you can enjoy music too, at the very least, it'll pass the time. Paul, x"
That sounds awful. I’m sorry. Thanks for sharing and the advice. It helps in a small way to know I’m not on my own. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I know what you're going through OP. I was in the same position as your for quite a number of months last year. I was betrayed terribly as well, had to go through a break up during lockdown last year. I didn't eat or sleep for months, I was crying every day and my hair was falling out. The pain was unbearable. The anger didn't kick in until the fourth month then I started comfort eating. He showed his true colours so he made it quite easy for me to get over him but I'll never forget what he did to me, how he did and how cruel it was. Give yourself time like I did, you'll find yourself again x
That’s just how I feel. I’m absolutely lost.
I was exactly the same but it will just take some time. If I can get through it then you will too. Please get rid of the reminders but only when you're ready. I did it and it helped me move on. I'm by myself too but I started doing online courses and doing meditation to calm my body and mind and it's really helping. Take care and stay safe x
Great advice and we'll done to you x I've been there before too so I can relate to everything that you said there x "
Thanks but this thread is about the OP, not me. I'm just giving some advice |
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"Find something that can distract you a bit so your mind doesn’t wander too far into darker thoughts. Maybe take up a new hobby or something that you’ve always wanted to do. We are all here for you if you need an ear for a shoulder. My pms are always open if you need someone to talk to. Sending hugs and good vibes your way OP
Thank you so much. That’s really kind. "
Joel is a very kind chap, I can vouch for that. |
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Put your attention somewhere good and when it drifts to the bad stuff, refocus.
Stuff that helps:
Create a list of 10 things you are grateful for. Ignore other stuff just identify the good. Then read the list out aloud with real feeling, first thing in the morning and last thing at night. There is real evidence that this helps.
Try mindfulness via a recording and headphones. We often get sad about the past and/or worry about the future. Mindfulness just helps you spend some time in the present to recharge your batteries. Highly recommended.
Good luck I know it’s a little simplistic but it really all is about What you have your attention on. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Put your attention somewhere good and when it drifts to the bad stuff, refocus.
Stuff that helps:
Create a list of 10 things you are grateful for. Ignore other stuff just identify the good. Then read the list out aloud with real feeling, first thing in the morning and last thing at night. There is real evidence that this helps.
Try mindfulness via a recording and headphones. We often get sad about the past and/or worry about the future. Mindfulness just helps you spend some time in the present to recharge your batteries. Highly recommended.
Good luck I know it’s a little simplistic but it really all is about What you have your attention on."
Thanks so much for this. I’ve been busy doing stuff in the garden today and it’s helped to have a distraction. I’m really going to have to work hard to focus on something else. The list is a good idea. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m not ok today. I’ve been really, awfully betrayed by someone that’s supposed to care about me and I don’t know how to deal with it.
I’ve been on the phone to my friends all day today trying to make sense of it, but being stuck at home on my own is really hard.
Does anyone have any tips for dealing with hard stuff on your own in lockdown? Because I’m totally falling apart.
My best friend, lover, soul mate, mother of my child, made a decision a few years ago, which almost ended my world. Everything I relied on to get me through the day, disappeared. I was lost. It was terrible.
I found a huge help in music. The things I knew but more importantly the things I'd never heard before. At 3 am on a Wednesday morning, a track Id never heard before, would make me smile and I realised that it wouldn't always be this bad.
Maybe you can enjoy music too, at the very least, it'll pass the time. Paul, x"
I have to agree. Music is a big part of my life. Its there through the good times and the bad. Certain songs remind me of different times in my life and different people. |
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"I’m not ok today. I’ve been really, awfully betrayed by someone that’s supposed to care about me and I don’t know how to deal with it.
I’ve been on the phone to my friends all day today trying to make sense of it, but being stuck at home on my own is really hard.
Does anyone have any tips for dealing with hard stuff on your own in lockdown? Because I’m totally falling apart. "
I’m hearing that you are feeling really sad and even though you have reached out the friends the feelings are still very much on the surface for you which is understandably......
Talking to trained professional can massively help when trying to understand your thoughts!
shout is a text service.... 85258
or samaritans...... 116123
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I’m not ok today. I’ve been really, awfully betrayed by someone that’s supposed to care about me and I don’t know how to deal with it.
I’ve been on the phone to my friends all day today trying to make sense of it, but being stuck at home on my own is really hard.
Does anyone have any tips for dealing with hard stuff on your own in lockdown? Because I’m totally falling apart.
I’m hearing that you are feeling really sad and even though you have reached out the friends the feelings are still very much on the surface for you which is understandably......
Talking to trained professional can massively help when trying to understand your thoughts!
shout is a text service.... 85258
or samaritans...... 116123
"
Thank you for this. |
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Hey, sorry to hear this. I've been through this and I can tell you that you can and will come out the other side. I discovered a 'digital trail' of my partner; she had been having affairs with three men over a five year period. the details in the emails were incredibly graphic. It was f....in g terrible and really messed me up. But it got easier over time, following lots of tears and talking, and somehow we made it through. I hope you will be OK and pick up the pieces. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Hey, sorry to hear this. I've been through this and I can tell you that you can and will come out the other side. I discovered a 'digital trail' of my partner; she had been having affairs with three men over a five year period. the details in the emails were incredibly graphic. It was f....in g terrible and really messed me up. But it got easier over time, following lots of tears and talking, and somehow we made it through. I hope you will be OK and pick up the pieces."
Thank you. Still currently feeling like my guts have been ripped out. Hope it passes fast. |
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By *D40Couple
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
Betrayal is hard during normal times never mind lockdown.
All i can suggest as someone who has been hurt by betrayal two times is to speak to friends, rant, rave, get angry whatever it takes. You will turn a corner and realise that it's not you it's them. You are worth more than someone who doesn't make you a priority.
Good luck
Mrs WD40 xx |
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