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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
"
Are you able to get and maintain an erection? YES AND TO A POINT, NOT FOR AS LONG AS USUAL.
Is it softer than normal? YES, NORMALLY "STANDING TO ATTENTION" BUT NOW, HARD BUT NOT AS HARD IF THAT MAKES SENSE.
Are you losing your erection during sex? YES BUT, THINK ITS BECAUSE I'M ALSO QUITE CONSCIOUS THAT I DON'T FEEL LIKE I'M PERFORMING AS I SHOULD.
Are you climaxing sooner than you used to? NO, IF ANYTHING NOT GETTING TO CLIMAX DURING SEX AND JUST TRYING TO MAKE SURE SHE DOES.
LOOK, I'M ALSO QUITE AN OPEN CHARACTER SO HAPPY TO DISCUSS OPENLY TOO. "
There are two main routes to consider with male performance.
Psychological and physiological.
The easiest one to treat is the physiological, this is your typical ED as a result of surgery, disability, illness, low Testosterone etc.
Viagra or other ED drugs can work wonders, but only if you struggle to get or maintain an erection sufficient enough for intercourse.
Without talking more and based on your answers alone I would suggest you may be affected by the psychological affects associated with male performance anxiety. This is where you get too worked up about needing to perform that you essentially think yourself out of an erection. Add to this your lack of orgasm which as you say is likely linked to you just trying to give your partner a good time, means you are not relaxing enough. You may be enjoying yourself, you can still feel good, but you are not letting yourself go.
I would suggest you look into trying to learn to relax again.
Have some play time where there is no intent on penetration, focus on touch and foreplay.
Take turns in pleasuring each other. It could just be a body massage, it could be oral only. Talk to your partner, don’t lie, hide or keep it from them. You may be beating yourself up about not being able to perform, but they may not have noticed a thing.
Maybe try other things in your sex life, fetishes, kinks, role play etc. I may be biased as I am a fan of BDSM, but you may also find your mojo lies in something “more”.
Look into cock rings if you haven't already. Make sure to get the right size and don’t wear them too long or you wont get any benefit and/or can damage the penis.
The right sized cock ring should help restrict blood leaving the corpora cavernosa, helping maintain an erection and hopefully returning you to that more rigid feeling. Which may help you regain that feeling of being an iron rod.
In all seriousness I would also advise not to wait too long to seek help from your GP.
I left it several years after noticing my performance hit it at first, and likely could have slowed or reversed some or all of the issues I have had to face.
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