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How do we tell a guy we are swingers.....
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I guess this is quite tame compared to some things on here but we thought we'd ask incase anyone else has been in a similar situation.
We recently had a new neighbour join us on our road who seems like a real nice down to earth chap, we have got to know him in the pub, helped each other with odd jobs and he has both mine and the wife's mobile no.
It seems he has taken a shine to the wife, when I'm out he texts the wife and last week it got very horny between them, the wife keeps me up to date on there communicating as she knows I love it, and he has said how much he fancies the wife and what he would like to do to her, and to which my good half loves and feels exactly the same.
Is there a right or wrong way of telling him that it's all good, come over and join us for a drink etc??? He is a little younger than us (26) and so his weekend's involve clubbing it etc, he says he's single as he loves sex and variety etc, so it all seems good.....
We just don't fancy nipping out for a drink and getting funny looks if and thats a big 'IF' it freaks him out and tells other friends etc.
Is it worth following up or does people with experience suggest it really isn't worth it.
Appreciate the responses  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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well has he got it in him, alot of guys think they have but deep down he is probs just thinking of having you to himself
do you not find suitable people on here? just they alot of risk if it dont go right, he could start turning up alot more hoping for more stuff to happen, he could talk about you behind your back to friends and neighbours, he could turn out to be a crank and ends up in unwanted attention you cant get rid of as he knows your secret
this is part the beauty of this website that if you find people you like and you change your mind on them or decide not to meet anymore the complications are very limited,
but with a neighbour then theres alot of risk that you might end up the talk of the town, all for a 3 some that you probs could of had with someone else |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Has he got any idea that "Mr" knows about the steamy texts? If not he could be thinking that he's poaching another guy's wife and be getting a kick out of it.
Took a look at your profile and saw that you are into cuckolding, could be an option there for an intro.
I'd suggest doing any asking at your place so it doesn't cause a scene at the pub.
As others have said, think long and hard about what you get up to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't want to be party pooper, but I read this and, to be honest, it rang a few alarm bells.
Firstly, its terribly close to home (one could say pooping on ones own doorstep) and if it goes weird or pear shaped, is he just going to be freaked out or if things get a little pissy is he going to tell the neighbourhood?
Secondly, this guy is making a move on your significant other for the purposes of (presumably) a leg over; does he know you know? If he doesn't know you swing (or have an open relationship lets say) then he is essentially (from an outside point of view) trying to poach your other half.
Personally, if it were me, I wouldn't touch it with a ten foot cattle prod! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't want to be party pooper, but I read this and, to be honest, it rang a few alarm bells.
Firstly, its terribly close to home (one could say pooping on ones own doorstep) and if it goes weird or pear shaped, is he just going to be freaked out or if things get a little pissy is he going to tell the neighbourhood?
Secondly, this guy is making a move on your significant other for the purposes of (presumably) a leg over; does he know you know? If he doesn't know you swing (or have an open relationship lets say) then he is essentially (from an outside point of view) trying to poach your other half.
Personally, if it were me, I wouldn't touch it with a ten foot cattle prod!"
i agree totally, my other half has text off men but they know that i know, and she enjoys it. bit too close to home , but hey, no travel costs involved  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I honestly see little concern here..the guy will be happy he has the shagging card, he's probably trying it on with anyone else he can..landed on his feet finding swingers.
looks like a win win for all- nobody is getting hurt are they?..the guys a sexual deviant...just doesnt know there is a bigger world iout there..I'd say bring him in..and I'm going on the judgement that u like this guy...even though he thinks he is doing the dirty...I'd rather then find out the hubby was all cool and appreciates his wife getting a regular shag.
win.for wife
win.hubby
win.guy |
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"I don't want to be party pooper, but I read this and, to be honest, it rang a few alarm bells.
Firstly, its terribly close to home (one could say pooping on ones own doorstep) and if it goes weird or pear shaped, is he just going to be freaked out or if things get a little pissy is he going to tell the neighbourhood?
Secondly, this guy is making a move on your significant other for the purposes of (presumably) a leg over; does he know you know? If he doesn't know you swing (or have an open relationship lets say) then he is essentially (from an outside point of view) trying to poach your other half.
Personally, if it were me, I wouldn't touch it with a ten foot cattle prod!"
Have to agree, desires and wanting fun can usually cloud judgements, keep it real. If he's started with such bravado who's to say he wouldn't continue even if you involved him and he wanted more or to progress. Let's not forget alot of the time the thrill for us is in the chase and the forbidden, once it becomes 'ok' or acceptable then it becomes normal or boring, so we move on to another challenge.. Or crank it up to a next level. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I thought this thread sounded familiar - you asked the same question 5 weeks ago and later said you had a result as the wife was now fucking said gentleman... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I thought this thread sounded familiar - you asked the same question 5 weeks ago and later said you had a result as the wife was now fucking said gentleman..."
How do you know it's the same neighbour?  |
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tbh Juicy, thats part of the excitement and the risk isn't it.
However, he/you have already taken the first step in the terms of sexy texts etc, which reading between the lines of your post, he thinks he's doing behind your hubbys back.
I'd suggest invite him round and wear something a little too daring for the pub, have a drink and allow the sexy chat to start but including your hubby. He's not really in a position to make a big scene if it's not his thing, as you have the card of him trying to chat you up behind hubbys back.
Have fun... |
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Sometimes action speaks louder than words, so rather than telling him you have the label of swingers, perhaps instead just behave more appropriately to this with him, when you're both there. That way, should things ever not work out, he can't blab about you being swingers - there's no shame anyway - but he only has the ability to really say he's had a 3 some etc with you. (Most guys are probably not gonna say this to neighbours, I'm guessing).
Have some more quiet times the 3 of you at home, and make some advances, maybe brushing up against him, in front of male partner etc, and see how he responds. He'll also likely reciprocate if he's open to some action with you both. Things don't all have to happen on one day, maybe get things to new levels each time.
Overall, I'd not do this with my neighbour, but it's your call, and you know what you want, your neighbours and I do not. I've had some unwanted harrassing from people, as others have, so things don't always work perfectly. Good luck whatever you decide! |
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Yes living so close to a potential playmate is dangerous, however you don't have to be totally open straight a way.
Why don't you just drop the question into one of your flirting texts, " have you ever tried a threesome" I mean your talking fairly openly about sex and what he'd like to do to you, so ask him, if he recoils then no embarassment, if he doesn't then you can go a little further.
You don't need to tell him yet your into swinging! You also need to know if you can trust him not to tell all his mates as well.
Slowly, slowly catchy monkey. Lol.
When your eventually so happy your all going to a club together you can tell him your are swingers, but he might have guessed by then.
Good luck, he's a lucky boy, wish I had some friends like you when I was his age!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't see that you have to mention that you swing, invite him round for a meal and drinks and take it from there, after all he already fancies your missus so therefore mutual attraction via the social meet and exchanging of messages has already been done hasn't it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I thought this thread sounded familiar - you asked the same question 5 weeks ago and later said you had a result as the wife was now fucking said gentleman..."
a troll?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I thought this thread sounded familiar - you asked the same question 5 weeks ago and later said you had a result as the wife was now fucking said gentleman...
a troll??"
In my book that profile looks dodgy. On over a year and only one veri for just a female. If I was looking at them I would avoid. Could be wrong so sorry if I've offended |
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"I thought this thread sounded familiar - you asked the same question 5 weeks ago and later said you had a result as the wife was now fucking said gentleman...How do you know it's the same neighbour? "
Well according to their last thread it all went off last week with the carpenter so is he going to be happy that they have turned their attention to yet another new neighbour  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't want to be party pooper, but I read this and, to be honest, it rang a few alarm bells.
Firstly, its terribly close to home (one could say pooping on ones own doorstep) and if it goes weird or pear shaped, is he just going to be freaked out or if things get a little pissy is he going to tell the neighbourhood?
Secondly, this guy is making a move on your significant other for the purposes of (presumably) a leg over; does he know you know? If he doesn't know you swing (or have an open relationship lets say) then he is essentially (from an outside point of view) trying to poach your other half.
Personally, if it were me, I wouldn't touch it with a ten foot cattle prod!
Have to agree, desires and wanting fun can usually cloud judgements, keep it real. If he's started with such bravado who's to say he wouldn't continue even if you involved him and he wanted more or to progress. Let's not forget alot of the time the thrill for us is in the chase and the forbidden, once it becomes 'ok' or acceptable then it becomes normal or boring, so we move on to another challenge.. Or crank it up to a next level. "
+1   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I guess this is quite tame compared to some things on here but we thought we'd ask incase anyone else has been in a similar situation.
We recently had a new neighbour join us on our road who seems like a real nice down to earth chap, we have got to know him in the pub, helped each other with odd jobs and he has both mine and the wife's mobile no.
It seems he has taken a shine to the wife, when I'm out he texts the wife and last week it got very horny between them, the wife keeps me up to date on there communicating as she knows I love it, and he has said how much he fancies the wife and what he would like to do to her, and to which my good half loves and feels exactly the same.
Is there a right or wrong way of telling him that it's all good, come over and join us for a drink etc??? He is a little younger than us (26) and so his weekend's involve clubbing it etc, he says he's single as he loves sex and variety etc, so it all seems good.....
We just don't fancy nipping out for a drink and getting funny looks if and thats a big 'IF' it freaks him out and tells other friends etc.
Is it worth following up or does people with experience suggest it really isn't worth it.
Appreciate the responses "
I doubt this really happened, as if a bloke would try it on with another man's wife knowing full well they are married and very much together. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I guess this is quite tame compared to some things on here but we thought we'd ask incase anyone else has been in a similar situation.
We recently had a new neighbour join us on our road who seems like a real nice down to earth chap, we have got to know him in the pub, helped each other with odd jobs and he has both mine and the wife's mobile no.
It seems he has taken a shine to the wife, when I'm out he texts the wife and last week it got very horny between them, the wife keeps me up to date on there communicating as she knows I love it, and he has said how much he fancies the wife and what he would like to do to her, and to which my good half loves and feels exactly the same.
Is there a right or wrong way of telling him that it's all good, come over and join us for a drink etc??? He is a little younger than us (26) and so his weekend's involve clubbing it etc, he says he's single as he loves sex and variety etc, so it all seems good.....
We just don't fancy nipping out for a drink and getting funny looks if and thats a big 'IF' it freaks him out and tells other friends etc.
Is it worth following up or does people with experience suggest it really isn't worth it.
Appreciate the responses
I doubt this really happened, as if a bloke would try it on with another man's wife knowing full well they are married and very much together."
I take it you're the one joking ?
Basically he's trying to shag your wife behind your back, if that dosent bother you then let him. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't want to be party pooper, but I read this and, to be honest, it rang a few alarm bells.
Firstly, its terribly close to home (one could say pooping on ones own doorstep) and if it goes weird or pear shaped, is he just going to be freaked out or if things get a little pissy is he going to tell the neighbourhood?
Secondly, this guy is making a move on your significant other for the purposes of (presumably) a leg over; does he know you know? If he doesn't know you swing (or have an open relationship lets say) then he is essentially (from an outside point of view) trying to poach your other half.
Personally, if it were me, I wouldn't touch it with a ten foot cattle prod!"
Personally think if he sees this as coming on to a lonely housewife neighbour then it's possible he's spoke with friends about it and may update them.
For me, a stranger so close to home is too close for comfort, I'm talking here through experience as a couple as I once regularly swung as part of a couple but not yet as a single. |
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