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Get my girlfriend swinging
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
discuss it with her, share what you really want to try together and get her to share with you..
take it at her pace and don't rush
if she says NO.... it's a no
good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Phil told me wayyyyyy before we got together and it was'nt something i was sure about but i love it, so all you can do is approach the subject and see what her reaction is and go from there xx |
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"She doesn't know I'm on here. And yes I am prepared to meet without her but would much rather she joined me"
Tricky one but not one to judge but that is cheating and I don't think if she was to find out that the relationship would be that solid.. Is fab and swinging really worth loosing a relationship over.. you got to ask yourself some questions.. You need to be open and honest with her.. |
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if you were on here before you got with her then if you tell her and she accepts it but asks you to stop will you?? and if you joined while you started seeing her then dont tell her and go easy how you ask her  |
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By *BOSS OP Man
over a year ago
Berkshire |
"She doesn't know I'm on here. And yes I am prepared to meet without her but would much rather she joined me
Tricky one but not one to judge but that is cheating and I don't think if she was to find out that the relationship would be that solid.. Is fab and swinging really worth loosing a relationship over.. you got to ask yourself some questions.. You need to be open and honest with her.."
You have a good point. Swinging has been a big part of me for a long time before we met. I'm finding it really hard to let go. |
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By *BOSS OP Man
over a year ago
Berkshire |
"Bring up the subject of fantasies, if she mentions any about playing with others, ask her.
"
Tried that last night. I'm sure she must want 2 guys at once. She's just worried how I'd react.
Vicious circle ! |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
Ok...if you think she might be ok with the idea but wary to say....both of you write a list of fantasies you like the sound of...write next to them yes no or maybe as to wether you would like them to turn to reality....then swop lists and see if any match  |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"Bring up the subject of fantasies, if she mentions any about playing with others, ask her.
Tried that last night. I'm sure she must want 2 guys at once. She's just worried how I'd react.
Vicious circle !"
does she now you are bi, how would she react.... if she does, maybe use that as an introduction... sharing cock together |
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beware the bi part a couple on here that weve played with before have just gone to pieces because hes told her hes bi and she couldnt handle it i would suggest 3sm bi porn see how she reacts ask her how she feels about certain scenarios its a delicate one good luck xx |
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You really need to be open and honest. It may well be the hardest conversation of your life but you will know one way or the other.
If it's so important to you then you really need to get it sorted or the relationship will fail and cause heartache for both of you.
But, as you say, she might be up for it so while you are beating around the bush you could be getting up to some seriously naughty stuff together.
Man up and have the conversation, is my advice.
Good luck xx |
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only way to find out if shes remotely interested in swinging is to talk to her . does she know you swung before ? if so maybe bring it up in pillow talk and that maybe its something youd love to share with her .
however ,dispite how solid your relationship is do you really wanna test that by meeting behind her back? you may find decision taken out of your hand when she kicks you to the kurb WHEN she finds out . what you have to decide is what is more important to you swinging or her ? i can tell you for a fact if your priority is swinging and not her,even if you do swing together its never gonna work. the whole basis with cpls swinging is honesty ,openess and keeping your partner and relationship the priorty through out what ever you do . at present you are lacking in all of these .
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"She doesn't know I'm on here. And yes I am prepared to meet without her but would much rather she joined me"
Let her read this first. 
* cReEpS rOuNd cRypT * -l- |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Good solid relationships don't have one on a shag site behind the others back
 "
You can't always expect two seperate minds to arrive at the same conclusion of joining a swinger's site at the same time. It's natural that one person might venture down that avenue first.
Maybe the OP should see if his OH responds well to the idea that sex with others is not illicit or threatening to their relationship, and that once that is surmounted far more security and freedom would exist in their relationship than in conventional relationships.
Hope you do your homework well OP and do a good 'sell', good luck
Wolf |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Bring up the subject of fantasies, if she mentions any about playing with others, ask her.
Tried that last night. I'm sure she must want 2 guys at once. She's just worried how I'd react.
Vicious circle !"
i know some ladies like this idea but not all of us do, me for one its the stuff of my nightmares i would hate it |
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Go to the pub.
Drink lots of Sambuca
Tell her she looks amazing and you really fancy her
Move on to Jaeger Bombs
Start a sexy conversation, praise her and how great she is and how happy you are with her
Move on to Tequila
Ask her "So tell me, whats your ultimate fantasy?"
If she says "Er I dont know maybe a couple of guys/girls/your mate xxxxx", then you're a shoe in
If she says "Er I dont know, whats yours?", describe a potential fantasy, if she goes with the idea, suggest going to a club, if she freeks out you can blame the drink?
If the hint isnt enough move onto Absinth
Say to her "I was reading in the Daily Mail that one in ten people in the UK are now swingers, and its the fastest growing leisure industry in the UK because of the recession" - I dont know if it is but it sounds plausable?
Move back to the Sambuca, but this time flaming ones, hands behind your back down in one.
She might say, "ooh i think swinging is nasty" in which case leave it there, get a kebab and taxi.
She might say, "really? I dont know much about it, would you want to try it?"
If this is the case answer "I dont know, maybe, if we could do it together"
in which case leave it there, get a kebab and taxi.
Get home suggest looking at sites on the Internet, accidently find FabSwingers, and browse through it together, making sure you spend plenty of time on the Club Listings as thats where all sorts of positive swinging feedback is.
Probably the more expensive option than any other advice offered but at least it involves shots, and shots are good, unless you are John Lennon then shots are bad.
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"Good solid relationship.
I want to share some naughty experiences with her such a mmf, ffm, mf, dogging.
How do I approach the subject and get her involved
"
if you have a good solid r,ship, why are you on here?  |
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By *woBiTwoCouple
over a year ago
north manchester |
We've been meeting a guy (not off fab) for 3 or 4 years. Recently he went quiet for several months and resurfaced with a new girlfriend. He had told her early on that he met us often for NSA sex and also that he was bi, risking the possibility she might run for the hills screaming! However it went the other way - she had fantasies of group sex and curiosity about sex with another girl. We arranged a low key pub meet, she relaxed and liked us (and we her) and ended up back at his. A fine night followed for all of us.
Risk it and tell her about yourself. If she isn't keen, bin the swinging and enjoy each other. But don't cheat on her. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Bring up the subject of fantasies, if she mentions any about playing with others, ask her.
Tried that last night. I'm sure she must want 2 guys at once. She's just worried how I'd react.
Vicious circle !"
How are you sure? Or is it just because that's what you want to hear? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks for your advice. She will always be my priority. And if I have to choose. It would be her hands down. I just wanna know if she's up for it without scaring her off "
She'll always be your priority? Bit of a turn around from your earlier post that you'd go it alone if she's not interested... So which is it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I do struggle with the "good solid relationship " and the fact that you are on here in the first place without her knowledge...."
agree.
you left yourself open for some flak with this post mate..
if you are so solid, what you doing on here???
i am surpised you have got off so lightly.
some of them on here would be burning crosses on your front lawn by now... |
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You seem to think that every woman has a two man fantasy or that getting her "on the rose" is the way to go.
Be very careful.
Just as not every man wants to be with two women, there are women who would take it very badly if you suggested another man join you - I don't like straight mmf threesomes, and as a very sexually adventurous woman it still took me years.to discover my interest in bi guys. As for the ffm stuff, it split me and a.boyfriend up cos he wouldn't let it go, then when I finally said yes the reality didn't match his fantasy - which he sulkily resented me for!
Be very very sure that you want this with her. It may all go horribly wrong. She may hate you for 'making' her do things she can't cope with. She may love it so much she decides she doesn't need you. She may leave you for a playmate.
If the conversation never gets off the ground or doesn't start to flow then step away. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks for your advice. She will always be my priority. And if I have to choose. It would be her hands down. I just wanna know if she's up for it without scaring her off "
You've already made the choice because you're still on here without her. Fess up & move on  |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Good solid relationships don't have one on a shag site behind the others back"
This isn't always the case. I know a couple on another site who's husband started a profile which the wife knew nothing about, he nosed around a bit and then told her about it, she then asked to join in too and they have been on that site for around five years now and still having fun.
Although lots of people wouldn't be amused at what he did, but there are people out there that it has worked for.
Now I know the OP did put his relationship into the OP so it is up for discussion, but for most of this thread it has only been that that people have commented on and not giving advice of how to get into swinging.
Obviously people can comment on which part of the post if they want.... I would love to say I am surprised that that is the thing being commented on the most, but I can't do that, as people seem obsessed with it at the minute on here.
Either way, good luck in what you decide to try OP, and don't forget to let us know how you get on. |
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my bloke did exactly what u have done and made a profile on a swinging site without my knowledge. I watched the profile for a while without letting on i knew about it and then eventually brought it up in conversation. We both decided this was something we would like to try and about 8 years later here we still are rocking and rolling !!
its for some but not for all but i sincerely hope it works out for u as i can fully appreciate how concerned u are about mentioning it incase she runs for the hills and i hope she doesnt .. keep us posted !! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Go to the pub.
Drink lots of Sambuca
Tell her she looks amazing and you really fancy her
Move on to Jaeger Bombs
Start a sexy conversation, praise her and how great she is and how happy you are with her
Move on to Tequila
Ask her "So tell me, whats your ultimate fantasy?"
If she says "Er I dont know maybe a couple of guys/girls/your mate xxxxx", then you're a shoe in
If she says "Er I dont know, whats yours?", describe a potential fantasy, if she goes with the idea, suggest going to a club, if she freeks out you can blame the drink?
If the hint isnt enough move onto Absinth
Say to her "I was reading in the Daily Mail that one in ten people in the UK are now swingers, and its the fastest growing leisure industry in the UK because of the recession" - I dont know if it is but it sounds plausable?
Move back to the Sambuca, but this time flaming ones, hands behind your back down in one.
She might say, "ooh i think swinging is nasty" in which case leave it there, get a kebab and taxi.
She might say, "really? I dont know much about it, would you want to try it?"
If this is the case answer "I dont know, maybe, if we could do it together"
in which case leave it there, get a kebab and taxi.
Get home suggest looking at sites on the Internet, accidently find FabSwingers, and browse through it together, making sure you spend plenty of time on the Club Listings as thats where all sorts of positive swinging feedback is.
Probably the more expensive option than any other advice offered but at least it involves shots, and shots are good, unless you are John Lennon then shots are bad.
"
Priceless!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Good solid relationship.
I want to share some naughty experiences with her such a mmf, ffm, mf, dogging.
How do I approach the subject and get her involved
"
show her your profile and see how she reacts |
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I think the whole point for me (F) would be that total honesty is required between couples if swinging is to be successful and you're hiding something from her.
Take a step back from this site and concentrate on her for a while, start to mention how much you'd like to see her enjoy herself with another guy while you're making love and see how she reacts, as so many others have said discuss your fantasies openly with her ask her if she feels the same. In short talk to HER be open with HER.
If I discovered that a partner had started a thread like this discussing me claiming that we had a solid relationship I'd be angry to the point of no return to be honest. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think the whole point for me (F) would be that total honesty is required between couples if swinging is to be successful and you're hiding something from her.
Take a step back from this site and concentrate on her for a while, start to mention how much you'd like to see her enjoy herself with another guy while you're making love and see how she reacts, as so many others have said discuss your fantasies openly with her ask her if she feels the same. In short talk to HER be open with HER.
If I discovered that a partner had started a thread like this discussing me claiming that we had a solid relationship I'd be angry to the point of no return to be honest. "
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I think that the OP's girlfriend IS his first priority but he's just gone about things the wrong way.
It can be very hard to reveal your deepest fantasy to someone else, the fear of rejection or possibly ruining a relationship is a powerful thing.
You live and learn and I've done an awful lot of living but not much of the learning has sunk in  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Good solid relationship.
I want to share some naughty experiences with her such a mmf, ffm, mf, dogging.
How do I approach the subject and get her involved
"
well i would gladly take her place if she doesent want to |
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