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By *amill OP Man
over a year ago
Warrington |
I wonder if anyone could help me understand this and explain how it works, probably women/couples will have a better insight.
I notice that a lot of the messages I send on here often end up unread or unopened and I have made the assumption this is most likely down to the inbox maxing out at a message limit, this would then mean my message drops out of the inbox. I understand women/couples do get an overwhelming amount of messages on here and I'm not blaming anybody for not being able to get to my message. I'm just curious to know if any others know the reason for this.
So if anybody could please let me know if this the case that would be very much appreciated.
Also, bonus points if you have any tips on best time to message people or anything I could do to improve my profile. I'm thinking maybe a profile pic which is more eye catching maybe? |
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Unread messages, no reply or deleted messages should be treated as a "no thanks".
Many female and couple profiles are inundated with messages and its simply not possible to reply to them all.
I believe this is stated in the rules as it is such a common occurrence, and a regular topic of discussion for single male profiles.
Hope this helps you out OP |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics |
It is nothing to do with an inbox maxing out.
No reply means they're not interested.
Often someone will click on a profile and read that before deciding whether to open a message or not. You may not realise they have checked your profile as they might be in stealth mode.
I hope that is helpful.
Is best not to look at the messages you have sent and just concentrate on the other features of the site. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It is nothing to do with an inbox maxing out.
No reply means they're not interested.
Often someone will click on a profile and read that before deciding whether to open a message or not. You may not realise they have checked your profile as they might be in stealth mode.
I hope that is helpful.
Is best not to look at the messages you have sent and just concentrate on the other features of the site."
Yeah I tend to just delete my sent messages now, that way i don't need to worry either way. |
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"I notice that a lot of the messages I send on here often end up unread or unopened and I have made the assumption this is most likely down to the inbox maxing out at a message limit, this would then mean my message drops out of the inbox. I understand women/couples do get an overwhelming amount of messages on here and I'm not blaming anybody for not being able to get to my message. I'm just curious to know if any others know the reason for this."
Hi OP. You are correct to a degree in your theory. I'll caveat this reply with the knowledge that there are two types of inbox, the old style where messages drop in one at a time and the new when messages are more like threads. We use the old style inbox.
With the old style (and default) inbox each message sent arrives one at a time in a stack. So if you sent ten messages then ten would be in the inbox, if you sent ten with the new style then there would be one thread which would reveal ten messages once opened.
I think that the most messages that can be seen on the screen is around 50-60, lets call if fifty for ease. So if you send a message, and then 49 other people do, your message would be at the bottom of the stack. As soon as the 50th message dropped on the top of the stack your's will drop off the screen. It would be visible again if the recipient deletes messages above it.
It's also worth noting that many women turn off the option to show they have looked at profiles. So it's just possible that the recipient has looked at your profile unbeknownst to you, and decided to leave the message unopened or unanswered.
Either way it's not worth worrying about, move on. |
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By *ankie303Woman
over a year ago
Weirdsville South Coast Dorset |
I never mass bulk delete. I simply hit profiles as messaged come in, then 99.9% of the time delete the message unread. Mainly due to my profile stating at the top, if I ain't looking to meet don't message me. Even if they have the most appealing profile to me, I still delete unread. Personally I'm not looking for inbox pingpong and the notifications distract me from forum browsing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Hi OP. You are correct to a degree in your theory. I'll caveat this reply with the knowledge that there are two types of inbox, the old style where messages drop in one at a time and the new when messages are more like threads. We use the old style inbox."
This isn't entirely correct. Whether using old style or new style it's the same inbox- its just that the contents of the mailbox are displayed in a different way. (Very similar to hotmail, Gmail etc) |
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"
Hi OP. You are correct to a degree in your theory. I'll caveat this reply with the knowledge that there are two types of inbox, the old style where messages drop in one at a time and the new when messages are more like threads. We use the old style inbox.
This isn't entirely correct. Whether using old style or new style it's the same inbox- its just that the contents of the mailbox are displayed in a different way. (Very similar to hotmail, Gmail etc)"
You found the words to descibe it better than I could, well done  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You're honestly best just deleting you sent box. Letting that get to your head is not good dude.
You have to remember this site is literally full of single guys who bombard every profile they see lol. So not everyone can reply to everyone at times.
Paitience is the best way to be and just be active in forums too, it's lead to some amazing conversations and a meet pegged in for after covid for me. |
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By *amill OP Man
over a year ago
Warrington |
Thanks for all the responses on here, I’m definitely feeling a lot better about it now. Interesting to hear about the different features on here and never even realised that ‘stealth mode’ was a thing 
Also, having been on here for a while I feel like a bit of a noob in some aspects lol. After discovering the forums I definitely think I’ll be posting in here more often in the future. It’s a whole new side of fab for me now  |
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I don't reply to all messages from people but will usually look at the profile of the sender, if I didn't know them. The 2 or 3 words messages I will often get the gist of, without opening them.
But by looking at the senders profile, I'll get a feel for my interests with them. That's why a guys profile is so very important for you to get working in your favour. If it's not and your messages are much better, you are missing out.
This is a year unlike others. People are taking lots of care to keep themselves and family healthy and safe. Meets have been stopped for most of the year and so it reduces the motivation and interests to get to know others. We can't change that, we just have to have patience. Single new men here have always struggled for their first months, so your post op is a repetition of what gets in to the forum every year. It's just that virus factors have made it a hundred or thousands of times harder now. Couple this with job security, income, school issues etc and a potential meet of someone they don't know could seem alien and for a different lifestyle.
Don't trouble yourself with what's unread differently to how you are doing in this post - how you can understand it and improve things. My best advice is to ensure that you focus your efforts on your profile. People search for men here, so if you get viewed by others, you won't have even sent them a message. I've not seen your profile and you've not asked for help with it. I'd encourage all guys to review theirs and to get support, if they think they may get help this way. Good luck! |
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Most of the messages we get are not worth opening. What we see in the preview is sufficient to know if the best thing to do is bin it.
Make sure your messages are interesting and not generic,and relevant to the recipient. Take an interest in the person you are writing to. If you can't have a normal conversation with somebody they are very unlikely to invite you into their bed. |
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