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Bare back or condom
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Do most swinging women and couples practice safe sex or are there risk takers that will go bareback ,and when is it safe for bare back sex to happen after a period of time or after so many meets or should I not even think about it and practise safe sex always . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Most claim to play safe.
Some won’t.
It’s not the number of meets that makes it safe, it’s confidence that all parties are clear of nasties and haven’t played elsewhere. |
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You have to decide what you think is reasonable. Some people have more bare sex than others. The thing to remember is that if someone will have bare sex with you, then they’ll likely do it with everyone else too. If you’re ok with that level of risk then that’s your choice.
Personally I think swinging should be safe sex only so we all keep each other as safe as we can, but not everyone feels that way. There are lots of forum threads on it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do most swinging women and couples practice safe sex or are there risk takers that will go bareback ,and when is it safe for bare back sex to happen after a period of time or after so many meets or should I not even think about it and practise safe sex always ."
As they say, it's better to be safe than sorry |
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By *luns1Man
over a year ago
Preston |
I would have to say safe sex every time even if I am playing with my regular partner. Even if you play with the same people on a very regular basis and you all get tested regular basis I'd still say condoms all of the time as it is just more considerate and easier on the clean up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I play bareback and accept the risks that come with it and I'm always upfront and honest with partners so they can make an informed decision on the risks they're taking as well. I've always been selective with my partners and regularly tested, but I'm not ignorant of the fact good luck has played some part.
As for others, most people claim safe sex only, and some abide by that principal, but in my experience the majority don't. I've had one sexual partner use a condom, all others bare, including couples and people from all demographics. And that's not just fab members, Tinder users hardly ever play safe, and most others I've spoken to on the swinging or casual sex scenes seem to have the same experience.
If you exercise good judgement, take, prep, and are up to date on other vaccines then the laws of averages suggest you'll be alright, but that is far from a guarantee. If you want greater piece of mind then always play safe. Many STIs can be fixed before they do any damage with regular testing and antibiotics, but not all! However, safe sex isn't 100% safe either so even when playing safe it's a good idea to be regularly tested.
Remember both safe and unprotected sex can lead to pregnancies too, condoms do leak and break and she might not be on secondary birth control, and no birth control is 100% either.
Good luck and have fun xx |
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There’s many on here that are strictly safe sex only, and there are others that are strictly bareback. I always ask and get it confirmed, as some do genuinely seek only one or the other. Don’t always assume that safe sex listed as an interest is the truth. |
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By *mmixtapeCouple
over a year ago
middle earth |
If you're looking at clubs, it's default that you will play safe, they have free condoms etc all over the club and the assumption is that they will be used unless specifically told overwise by the person you would have sex with. As a couple me and Mr are bare, but we are protected with anyone else we want to play with.
Most in clubs do oral without protection, I've never seen a club that has even offered a dental dam, and penetration with protection. I wouldn't recommend asking to bareback in a club.. it's a recipe for disaster that could have you kicked out if youre asking the wrong person.
On fab pretty much anything is game, there are loads in team bareback it's just not my bag lol |
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"I play bareback and accept the risks that come with it and I'm always upfront and honest with partners so they can make an informed decision on the risks they're taking as well. I've always been selective with my partners and regularly tested, but I'm not ignorant of the fact good luck has played some part.
As for others, most people claim safe sex only, and some abide by that principal, but in my experience the majority don't. I've had one sexual partner use a condom, all others bare, including couples and people from all demographics. And that's not just fab members, Tinder users hardly ever play safe, and most others I've spoken to on the swinging or casual sex scenes seem to have the same experience.
If you exercise good judgement, take, prep, and are up to date on other vaccines then the laws of averages suggest you'll be alright, but that is far from a guarantee. If you want greater piece of mind then always play safe. Many STIs can be fixed before they do any damage with regular testing and antibiotics, but not all! However, safe sex isn't 100% safe either so even when playing safe it's a good idea to be regularly tested.
Remember both safe and unprotected sex can lead to pregnancies too, condoms do leak and break and she might not be on secondary birth control, and no birth control is 100% either.
Good luck and have fun xx"
A balanced and well thought out and written opinion.
What's important is that you always pick the preference of the sager person. E.g. if you want to go bare and she wants to play safe, you respect her wishes. |
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I find the recent boom in BB a little disturbing, many active swingers are blessed with good health and there are easy ways to minimise risk, none of us know what’s round the corner so why put out futures at risk?
And I says this as someone who really struggled at first with condoms, until I found XL ones that were less constricting, often condoms were a mood killer, till I persisted with them.
Also, it makes sex just so much more sustainable, you can have a few hours of athletic, joyous sex without feeling a torturous wave of worries that you may have put yourself and others in harms way.
Consider a DV (double vaginal) there you have three organs mixing and rubbing together, and consider then the recent history of those organs, where they been, what have they come in contact with?
We can’t be perfect, protected oral in swinging just doesn’t happen and understandably so but it’s worth considering why a little bit of latex in penetrative sex is so off putting, or are we finding kink in the risk itself? |
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"As with everything on Fab some will some won't.
It for each to decide their own level of risk, you are responsible for your own health nobody else."
Wholeheartedly agree. I'm sure everyone prefers without, but the risk means that everyone should at least consider condoms
Safelexible  |
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"The fervour with which folk talk of their insistence on safe sex only isn't always matched in the photo galleries."
How do you know who the photos are showing? As a lot have said they are bare with a regular partner/spouse and use condoms for everyone else. |
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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago
Wakefield |
"You have to decide what you think is reasonable. Some people have more bare sex than others. The thing to remember is that if someone will have bare sex with you, then they’ll likely do it with everyone else too. If you’re ok with that level of risk then that’s your choice.
Personally I think swinging should be safe sex only so we all keep each other as safe as we can, but not everyone feels that way. There are lots of forum threads on it. "
The problem is just what is safe sex?
Using a condom is safer sex than not using a condom but there are still risks of catching a STI.
Those that think using a condom is safe sex are possibly more of a risk than those who don't as at least you can choose to avoid those |
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"The fervour with which folk talk of their insistence on safe sex only isn't always matched in the photo galleries.
How do you know who the photos are showing? As a lot have said they are bare with a regular partner/spouse and use condoms for everyone else."
There are many examples of it clearly not being the husband's xoxk whether there be more than 1 cock, a different colour, a different size to the other photos of the husband |
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Protip: There's no such thing as safe sex, just safer sex.
Also, bear in mind that some STDs are not included in the standard testing. Most notably HSV (1 or 2). Most folk who carry don't know they're carrying. |
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"You have to decide what you think is reasonable. Some people have more bare sex than others. The thing to remember is that if someone will have bare sex with you, then they’ll likely do it with everyone else too. If you’re ok with that level of risk then that’s your choice.
Personally I think swinging should be safe sex only so we all keep each other as safe as we can, but not everyone feels that way. There are lots of forum threads on it.
The problem is just what is safe sex?
Using a condom is safer sex than not using a condom but there are still risks of catching a STI.
Those that think using a condom is safe sex are possibly more of a risk than those who don't as at least you can choose to avoid those"
I don’t know what you mean there. So you think people who use condoms are riskier than those who don’t?
Safe sex is just the term for people using a condom. Any responsible swinger knows that it doesn’t keep you 100% safe and if you’re regularly engaging in sex with multiple partners you should be being as careful as you can and getting tested.
If you avoid folk who play bare and think those who use condoms are risky, who do you play with? |
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"The fervour with which folk talk of their insistence on safe sex only isn't always matched in the photo galleries.
How do you know who the photos are showing? As a lot have said they are bare with a regular partner/spouse and use condoms for everyone else.
There are many examples of it clearly not being the husband's xoxk whether there be more than 1 cock, a different colour, a different size to the other photos of the husband"
So how can you pin point the actual husbands cock? Also the other cocks could be regular partners. Best not judge when you don’t know the facts. Also ‘safe sex’ is no such thing! Stick a condom on after you’ve kissed her and contracted an STI! People don’t seem to understand what safe sex really is. |
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"The fervour with which folk talk of their insistence on safe sex only isn't always matched in the photo galleries.
How do you know who the photos are showing? As a lot have said they are bare with a regular partner/spouse and use condoms for everyone else.
There are many examples of it clearly not being the husband's xoxk whether there be more than 1 cock, a different colour, a different size to the other photos of the husband
So how can you pin point the actual husbands cock? Also the other cocks could be regular partners. Best not judge when you don’t know the facts. Also ‘safe sex’ is no such thing! Stick a condom on after you’ve kissed her and contracted an STI! People don’t seem to understand what safe sex really is. "
Yeah ok,.no bother, I won't judge. Obviously doesn't happen. Jeez |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Safe but most of the time wishing it was bare but being sensible stick with it. Having said that there’s lots of people swear blind they do safe only but when it comes down to it they give in to temptation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do most swinging women and couples practice safe sex or are there risk takers that will go bareback ,and when is it safe for bare back sex to happen after a period of time or after so many meets or should I not even think about it and practise safe sex always ."
Condoms for me. Try to go without then your out. Not interested in risking my health |
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"The fervour with which folk talk of their insistence on safe sex only isn't always matched in the photo galleries.
How do you know who the photos are showing? As a lot have said they are bare with a regular partner/spouse and use condoms for everyone else.
There are many examples of it clearly not being the husband's xoxk whether there be more than 1 cock, a different colour, a different size to the other photos of the husband
So how can you pin point the actual husbands cock? Also the other cocks could be regular partners. Best not judge when you don’t know the facts. Also ‘safe sex’ is no such thing! Stick a condom on after you’ve kissed her and contracted an STI! People don’t seem to understand what safe sex really is. "
You can often identify who’s who on a couples profile. And if on any profile there are multiple bare cocks playing with the woman it’s obvious they’re not all her husband and obvious she isn’t as careful as she could be. That’s not a judgement, it’s just a fact. We all know condoms aren’t foolproof, but there are ways to reduce risk. |
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"The fervour with which folk talk of their insistence on safe sex only isn't always matched in the photo galleries.
How do you know who the photos are showing? As a lot have said they are bare with a regular partner/spouse and use condoms for everyone else.
There are many examples of it clearly not being the husband's xoxk whether there be more than 1 cock, a different colour, a different size to the other photos of the husband
So how can you pin point the actual husbands cock? Also the other cocks could be regular partners. Best not judge when you don’t know the facts. Also ‘safe sex’ is no such thing! Stick a condom on after you’ve kissed her and contracted an STI! People don’t seem to understand what safe sex really is.
You can often identify who’s who on a couples profile. And if on any profile there are multiple bare cocks playing with the woman it’s obvious they’re not all her husband and obvious she isn’t as careful as she could be. That’s not a judgement, it’s just a fact. We all know condoms aren’t foolproof, but there are ways to reduce risk. "
There are and the most effective way is no sex. Any exchange of bodily fluid is a risk, including kissing and oral. The safe sex spoken of on Fab means using condoms, people are not understanding in what safe sex is. |
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"The fervour with which folk talk of their insistence on safe sex only isn't always matched in the photo galleries.
How do you know who the photos are showing? As a lot have said they are bare with a regular partner/spouse and use condoms for everyone else.
There are many examples of it clearly not being the husband's xoxk whether there be more than 1 cock, a different colour, a different size to the other photos of the husband
So how can you pin point the actual husbands cock? Also the other cocks could be regular partners. Best not judge when you don’t know the facts. Also ‘safe sex’ is no such thing! Stick a condom on after you’ve kissed her and contracted an STI! People don’t seem to understand what safe sex really is.
Yeah ok,.no bother, I won't judge. Obviously doesn't happen. Jeez"
I’m just confused why you are judging people from their photos and trying to pin point the husbands cock. If they want to do bareback it’s their decision. Do what you do and let others do the same. |
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"The fervour with which folk talk of their insistence on safe sex only isn't always matched in the photo galleries.
How do you know who the photos are showing? As a lot have said they are bare with a regular partner/spouse and use condoms for everyone else.
There are many examples of it clearly not being the husband's xoxk whether there be more than 1 cock, a different colour, a different size to the other photos of the husband
So how can you pin point the actual husbands cock? Also the other cocks could be regular partners. Best not judge when you don’t know the facts. Also ‘safe sex’ is no such thing! Stick a condom on after you’ve kissed her and contracted an STI! People don’t seem to understand what safe sex really is.
Yeah ok,.no bother, I won't judge. Obviously doesn't happen. Jeez
I’m just confused why you are judging people from their photos and trying to pin point the husbands cock. If they want to do bareback it’s their decision. Do what you do and let others do the same. "
What's confusing about it? If folk list safe sex only on their profile then have photos of themselves being penetrated by a number of clearly different cocks then they clearly don't practice safe sex after all. Up to them if they do or don't but it's a bit rich when they state they only practice safe sex. |
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By *mmixtapeCouple
over a year ago
middle earth |
"The fervour with which folk talk of their insistence on safe sex only isn't always matched in the photo galleries
What's confusing about it? If folk list safe sex only on their profile then have photos of themselves being penetrated by a number of clearly different cocks then they clearly don't practice safe sex after all. Up to them if they do or don't but it's a bit rich when they state they only practice safe sex."
Ok so from a different perspective, they may play bare for fwb, fuck buddies, play partners etc, but on fab they want safe sex to keep their bubble in the clear. Yes it's risky but I know a few people that do this. Regardless, if someone is telling you they only play safe and you can see otherwise then use good judgement about if that's someone you want to sleep with.
If you're annoyed because they will go bare with others and not you.. then maybe you need to reassess if you're right for swinging, just because someone consents to something with one person doesn't mean they consent to it with all people and they don't owe it to you to make accommodations. Just move on? |
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"The fervour with which folk talk of their insistence on safe sex only isn't always matched in the photo galleries
What's confusing about it? If folk list safe sex only on their profile then have photos of themselves being penetrated by a number of clearly different cocks then they clearly don't practice safe sex after all. Up to them if they do or don't but it's a bit rich when they state they only practice safe sex.
Ok so from a different perspective, they may play bare for fwb, fuck buddies, play partners etc, but on fab they want safe sex to keep their bubble in the clear. Yes it's risky but I know a few people that do this. Regardless, if someone is telling you they only play safe and you can see otherwise then use good judgement about if that's someone you want to sleep with.
If you're annoyed because they will go bare with others and not you.. then maybe you need to reassess if you're right for swinging, just because someone consents to something with one person doesn't mean they consent to it with all people and they don't owe it to you to make accommodations. Just move on? "
Whoaaa whoaaa, that's a helluva 2nd paragraph full of nonsensical assumption. I've made my point, other folk have got my point, I'm not here to get in an argument with someone twisting and making things up so I'm bowing out. |
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"The fervour with which folk talk of their insistence on safe sex only isn't always matched in the photo galleries.
How do you know who the photos are showing? As a lot have said they are bare with a regular partner/spouse and use condoms for everyone else.
There are many examples of it clearly not being the husband's xoxk whether there be more than 1 cock, a different colour, a different size to the other photos of the husband
So how can you pin point the actual husbands cock? Also the other cocks could be regular partners. Best not judge when you don’t know the facts. Also ‘safe sex’ is no such thing! Stick a condom on after you’ve kissed her and contracted an STI! People don’t seem to understand what safe sex really is.
You can often identify who’s who on a couples profile. And if on any profile there are multiple bare cocks playing with the woman it’s obvious they’re not all her husband and obvious she isn’t as careful as she could be. That’s not a judgement, it’s just a fact. We all know condoms aren’t foolproof, but there are ways to reduce risk.
There are and the most effective way is no sex. Any exchange of bodily fluid is a risk, including kissing and oral. The safe sex spoken of on Fab means using condoms, people are not understanding in what safe sex is."
I think people do understand. I don’t think anyone thinks that condoms mean you won’t ever catch anything, ever. As you say ‘safe sex’ is the agreed term for using condoms, which reduces the risk of you catching something. Pics often show that someone might say they practice safe sex, but actually don’t. I’d feel more comfortable playing with someone who is careful, than someone I know isn’t. That’s just common sense I think. |
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By *mmixtapeCouple
over a year ago
middle earth |
"The fervour with which folk talk of their insistence on safe sex only isn't always matched in the photo galleries
What's confusing about it? If folk list safe sex only on their profile then have photos of themselves being penetrated by a number of clearly different cocks then they clearly don't practice safe sex after all. Up to them if they do or don't but it's a bit rich when they state they only practice safe sex.
Ok so from a different perspective, they may play bare for fwb, fuck buddies, play partners etc, but on fab they want safe sex to keep their bubble in the clear. Yes it's risky but I know a few people that do this. Regardless, if someone is telling you they only play safe and you can see otherwise then use good judgement about if that's someone you want to sleep with.
If you're annoyed because they will go bare with others and not you.. then maybe you need to reassess if you're right for swinging, just because someone consents to something with one person doesn't mean they consent to it with all people and they don't owe it to you to make accommodations. Just move on?
Whoaaa whoaaa, that's a helluva 2nd paragraph full of nonsensical assumption. I've made my point, other folk have got my point, I'm not here to get in an argument with someone twisting and making things up so I'm bowing out."
Hahahaha I'm not doing that though, I was saying if you're annoyed by the photo thing then maybe swinging isn't for you.. |
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"The fervour with which folk talk of their insistence on safe sex only isn't always matched in the photo galleries
What's confusing about it? If folk list safe sex only on their profile then have photos of themselves being penetrated by a number of clearly different cocks then they clearly don't practice safe sex after all. Up to them if they do or don't but it's a bit rich when they state they only practice safe sex.
Ok so from a different perspective, they may play bare for fwb, fuck buddies, play partners etc, but on fab they want safe sex to keep their bubble in the clear. Yes it's risky but I know a few people that do this. Regardless, if someone is telling you they only play safe and you can see otherwise then use good judgement about if that's someone you want to sleep with.
If you're annoyed because they will go bare with others and not you.. then maybe you need to reassess if you're right for swinging, just because someone consents to something with one person doesn't mean they consent to it with all people and they don't owe it to you to make accommodations. Just move on?
Whoaaa whoaaa, that's a helluva 2nd paragraph full of nonsensical assumption. I've made my point, other folk have got my point, I'm not here to get in an argument with someone twisting and making things up so I'm bowing out.
Hahahaha I'm not doing that though, I was saying if you're annoyed by the photo thing then maybe swinging isn't for you.."
Swinging isn't for me because I've noticed folk who claim to practice safe sex post picture evidence that they don't? The thread is about bareback v condoms, I've posted my tuppence worth. Only thing I'm getting annoyed about is your assumptions. Quite a stretch to state swinging isn't for me. By your reckoning it isn't for alot of folk. Goodbye. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The fervour with which folk talk of their insistence on safe sex only isn't always matched in the photo galleries
What's confusing about it? If folk list safe sex only on their profile then have photos of themselves being penetrated by a number of clearly different cocks then they clearly don't practice safe sex after all. Up to them if they do or don't but it's a bit rich when they state they only practice safe sex.
Ok so from a different perspective, they may play bare for fwb, fuck buddies, play partners etc, but on fab they want safe sex to keep their bubble in the clear. Yes it's risky but I know a few people that do this. Regardless, if someone is telling you they only play safe and you can see otherwise then use good judgement about if that's someone you want to sleep with.
If you're annoyed because they will go bare with others and not you.. then maybe you need to reassess if you're right for swinging, just because someone consents to something with one person doesn't mean they consent to it with all people and they don't owe it to you to make accommodations. Just move on? "
....."but on fab they want safe sex to keep their bubble in the clear.".....
For a start that's not how you keep your bubble clear. What a silly statement obviously do not understand the concept behind having a bubble.
Secondly if they genuinely wanted their bubble to be clear looking for meets on fab isn't going to do that.
Thirdly rather stupid displayed bare back photos on fab if that's the impression they are trying to give others.
Sorry not convinced by your statements.
Also to suggest the previous poster us jealous that others get to meet them and not him as a reason for his comment is clearly juvenile and displays an ineptitude at reading what is said.
It does no good to any post if people deliberately twist what others say in order to counter argue. Just shows them up. Stay true and listen twice and respond intelligently to add to a discussion everyone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The fervour with which folk talk of their insistence on safe sex only isn't always matched in the photo galleries
What's confusing about it? If folk list safe sex only on their profile then have photos of themselves being penetrated by a number of clearly different cocks then they clearly don't practice safe sex after all. Up to them if they do or don't but it's a bit rich when they state they only practice safe sex.
Ok so from a different perspective, they may play bare for fwb, fuck buddies, play partners etc, but on fab they want safe sex to keep their bubble in the clear. Yes it's risky but I know a few people that do this. Regardless, if someone is telling you they only play safe and you can see otherwise then use good judgement about if that's someone you want to sleep with.
If you're annoyed because they will go bare with others and not you.. then maybe you need to reassess if you're right for swinging, just because someone consents to something with one person doesn't mean they consent to it with all people and they don't owe it to you to make accommodations. Just move on?
Whoaaa whoaaa, that's a helluva 2nd paragraph full of nonsensical assumption. I've made my point, other folk have got my point, I'm not here to get in an argument with someone twisting and making things up so I'm bowing out.
Hahahaha I'm not doing that though, I was saying if you're annoyed by the photo thing then maybe swinging isn't for you..
Swinging isn't for me because I've noticed folk who claim to practice safe sex post picture evidence that they don't? The thread is about bareback v condoms, I've posted my tuppence worth. Only thing I'm getting annoyed about is your assumptions. Quite a stretch to state swinging isn't for me. By your reckoning it isn't for alot of folk. Goodbye."
Sadly some swingers don't do the community any good at all either actions and their words. |
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Only do Bareback with hubby, had meets and when it comes to the question have you got a condom (sorry didn't think I would need one I got tested clear 2 days ago ) well its not good enough for me so put your clothes on and take care nice seeing you.
no glove no love |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Tha's better wear thee wellies if tha's gonna go paddling!" as we say here in Yorkshire. LOL
On a serious note the only way to have completely safe sex is to be celibate. Anything else is just risk management at the end of the day. Condoms as people say on here already aren't actually safe sex (they're not guaranteed contraceptives even) BUT they do go a long way to keeping all individuals safe. People being open and honest helps too but can't sadly be relied on.
So the answer is we don't have a risk free world unless we hide under a rock but same as say driving a car there are certain measures we can take to ensure we arrive at our destination (hopefully) in one piece. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Safe sex only for me. I'm very suspicious of the profiles that talk of PReP - you might be OK for HIV (if you take the meds and if you stay undetectable) but you're still open to pass on Hep C and other nasties. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""Tha's better wear thee wellies if tha's gonna go paddling!" as we say here in Yorkshire. LOL
On a serious note the only way to have completely safe sex is to be celibate. Anything else is just risk management at the end of the day. Condoms as people say on here already aren't actually safe sex (they're not guaranteed contraceptives even) BUT they do go a long way to keeping all individuals safe. People being open and honest helps too but can't sadly be relied on.
So the answer is we don't have a risk free world unless we hide under a rock but same as say driving a car there are certain measures we can take to ensure we arrive at our destination (hopefully) in one piece. "
Great answer!!
I expect a lad to bring his wellies. My first sexual partner instilled safe sex habits in me that have lasted a lifetime, thanks BG . |
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