FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Not very discreet
Not very discreet
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By *irginieWoman
over a year ago
Near Marlborough |
Constantly amazed by what some will give away about other people, seemingly oblivious to impact. It’s the end of any friendship I may have had if I realise they do not respect privacy.
V x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I learnt to be discreet & keep things to myself from very early in life. Saw too many others make fools of themselves & get in trouble by not doing so.
Unfortunately many find it very difficult to do it & before you know it someone gets hurt.
I find you get more respect from others who feel safe to confine in you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *mmixtapeCouple
over a year ago
middle earth |
Or you could also just.. not care? As long as you're not doing anything illegal or unethical you should be fine? I've never understood why people are upset, I obviously don't plaster the fact I'm a swingers all over my life, but if someone found out surely if they are in the community then they wouldn't/couldn't say anything, and if they aren't you're not doing anything wrong? So why would it matter? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Or you could also just.. not care? As long as you're not doing anything illegal or unethical you should be fine? I've never understood why people are upset, I obviously don't plaster the fact I'm a swingers all over my life, but if someone found out surely if they are in the community then they wouldn't/couldn't say anything, and if they aren't you're not doing anything wrong? So why would it matter? "
This guy gave out my home address to another guy on here.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ab jamesMan
over a year ago
ribble valley |
Most people know what I do. Even family. I think they think I'm a little strange. Nobody's ever said anything bad, just a bit of leg pulling. So no privacy needed for myself. But I always ask meets if they want a veri or not. Veris tell everyone who you've met.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Or you could also just.. not care? As long as you're not doing anything illegal or unethical you should be fine? I've never understood why people are upset, I obviously don't plaster the fact I'm a swingers all over my life, but if someone found out surely if they are in the community then they wouldn't/couldn't say anything, and if they aren't you're not doing anything wrong? So why would it matter?
This guy gave out my home address to another guy on here.
"
That is just not on. Sorry you experienced that. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
There are no unwritten rules. We have responsibility to our own privacy and no one else's.
If at any time another individual reveals any information about another, then the responsibility lies with the original individual having shared it. When the origional individual did so, they should have in mind how it might be used, now or in the future by any other individual and not just their conspirator. If there is a possibility that this information being revealed to a third party might cause an issue for the original individual, then they should first consider changing their circumstances and/or changing what they reveal when entering into that conspiracy. The conspirator has no responsibility to protect any information. That is, unless they first agree to sign an NDA prior to the original individual revealing any information, pertaining to the information shared.
I think of secrets as cancer. I don't want anyone's cancer. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"There are no unwritten rules. We have responsibility to our own privacy and no one else's.
If at any time another individual reveals any information about another, then the responsibility lies with the original individual having shared it. When the origional individual did so, they should have in mind how it might be used, now or in the future by any other individual and not just their conspirator. If there is a possibility that this information being revealed to a third party might cause an issue for the original individual, then they should first consider changing their circumstances and/or changing what they reveal when entering into that conspiracy. The conspirator has no responsibility to protect any information. That is, unless they first agree to sign an NDA prior to the original individual revealing any information, pertaining to the information shared.
I think of secrets as cancer. I don't want anyone's cancer. "
I think not giving out someone’s home address is basic decency, nothing to do with secrets at all. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *irginieWoman
over a year ago
Near Marlborough |
"Or you could also just.. not care? As long as you're not doing anything illegal or unethical you should be fine? I've never understood why people are upset, I obviously don't plaster the fact I'm a swingers all over my life, but if someone found out surely if they are in the community then they wouldn't/couldn't say anything, and if they aren't you're not doing anything wrong? So why would it matter?
This guy gave out my home address to another guy on here.
"
What the actual fuck! I have no words. Other than swears.
V x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Or you could also just.. not care? As long as you're not doing anything illegal or unethical you should be fine? I've never understood why people are upset, I obviously don't plaster the fact I'm a swingers all over my life, but if someone found out surely if they are in the community then they wouldn't/couldn't say anything, and if they aren't you're not doing anything wrong? So why would it matter?
This guy gave out my home address to another guy on here.
"
 wtf?! Whyyyy??? What an asshole. Then ppl wonder why you get so protective over sharing photos or accommodating. The minute it goes wrong it still your fault for sharing pics or personal info!!! How about folks just dont be tossers and respect ppls privacy. Sorry for your troubles OP. Smh. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Sorry to hear this, it's awful. Being single, I always fear the worst. Their are some arseholes out there. I had someone advertise what I did to all his work colleagues who happened to be working in the area, shared private photos of my home to prove it was me. Friends found out and pictures went round. I reported to bigger boss's and a few got fired. Was not on this site xxx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
This is why we don't "accommodate", even if we're here without kids. Too risky to let people know our address. Hotels or clubs only.
Very sorry you experienced this, OP. I don't even know if any offence has technically been committed to report him?? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
"Or you could also just.. not care? As long as you're not doing anything illegal or unethical you should be fine? I've never understood why people are upset, I obviously don't plaster the fact I'm a swingers all over my life, but if someone found out surely if they are in the community then they wouldn't/couldn't say anything, and if they aren't you're not doing anything wrong? So why would it matter?
This guy gave out my home address to another guy on here.
What the actual fuck! I have no words. Other than swears.
V x "
No one, Not even an elusive unicorn would get our address unless we had theirs & confirmed it.
Not saying it’d stop something like this but at least you have an address for the police or a visit yourself if that way inclined.
S |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ast_jjMan
over a year ago
Dublin and London |
"Or you could also just.. not care? As long as you're not doing anything illegal or unethical you should be fine? I've never understood why people are upset, I obviously don't plaster the fact I'm a swingers all over my life, but if someone found out surely if they are in the community then they wouldn't/couldn't say anything, and if they aren't you're not doing anything wrong? So why would it matter?
This guy gave out my home address to another guy on here.
"
What an absolute moron! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Sadly this doesn't surprise me. I've seen men quite openly offer their unaware wives or partners phone number to random men on the internet to see "how far they can take it" and other men offer to give their wife's location so that yet another unknown weirdo from the internet can try to seduce her. Despicable behaviour both on the part off the men offering and those agreeing to take part and shows how much disrespect for women's autonomy and safety there still exists. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Lucky we have not had that problem, everyone we have met either as couple or solo have been great . We don’t meet at home and only two of the guys know our address but have been very respectful and descrete .I would never divulge information like that |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So why would it matter? "
Really, are you actually asking that question? You've not experienced judgmental people? I can think of a million reasons why it would be a problem. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sadly this doesn't surprise me. I've seen men quite openly offer their unaware wives or partners phone number to random men on the internet to see "how far they can take it" and other men offer to give their wife's location so that yet another unknown weirdo from the internet can try to seduce her. Despicable behaviour both on the part off the men offering and those agreeing to take part and shows how much disrespect for women's autonomy and safety there still exists."
A friend of mine recently had an incident that was very frightening. He had been talking with a 'woman' on another site, and they had discussed meeting to act out a very specific sexual fantasy. They exchanged several pictures and arranged a time to meet - he turned up at her house, at the agreed on time, the door was answered by the woman in the pictures... and she had no clue who he was or why he was there. Needless to say, the poor woman was terrified and my friend was pretty freaked out too! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Unfortunately some men have little to no boundaries. In the past I have had messages from men wanting me to "surprise" their wives at work or who have given me their wife's number to text as part of a fantasy that she probably had no clue was being played out |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think the Data Protection Act should extend to personal conversations; no person should have to worry about someone passing their address and personal details onto another without their knowledge and consent.
And on top of that it’s just bad manners. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
"Or you could also just.. not care? As long as you're not doing anything illegal or unethical you should be fine? I've never understood why people are upset, I obviously don't plaster the fact I'm a swingers all over my life, but if someone found out surely if they are in the community then they wouldn't/couldn't say anything, and if they aren't you're not doing anything wrong? So why would it matter?
This guy gave out my home address to another guy on here.
"
Omg that's awful op. Why the hell do people think that's an acceptable thing to do  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Unfortunately some men have little to no boundaries. In the past I have had messages from men wanting me to "surprise" their wives at work or who have given me their wife's number to text as part of a fantasy that she probably had no clue was being played out"
Had this same thing, also a few time's that their wife is really shy and can you chat her up at the bar that they will be in. Always a definite no, instantly says weirdo , plus also I think I'd be crap at doing it |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Or you could also just.. not care? As long as you're not doing anything illegal or unethical you should be fine? I've never understood why people are upset, I obviously don't plaster the fact I'm a swingers all over my life, but if someone found out surely if they are in the community then they wouldn't/couldn't say anything, and if they aren't you're not doing anything wrong? So why would it matter?
This guy gave out my home address to another guy on here.
"
Lol love the change in attitude once people know what he did. What a needle dick. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago
Paisley |
"Or you could also just.. not care? As long as you're not doing anything illegal or unethical you should be fine? I've never understood why people are upset, I obviously don't plaster the fact I'm a swingers all over my life, but if someone found out surely if they are in the community then they wouldn't/couldn't say anything, and if they aren't you're not doing anything wrong? So why would it matter?
This guy gave out my home address to another guy on here.
"
That’s bang out of order in any situation never mind on here. Even passing a telephone number between my friends I ask first. People need to respect other’s privacy. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ucky24Man
over a year ago
Glasgow |
The propensity for humans to disappoint another fellow human has long ceased to surprise me. Although it still disappoints me.
Genuinely feel sorry for the distress that his thoughtless action has caused you.
Hope Karma bites him back big style! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *innMan
over a year ago
edinburgh |
Respect for a persons right to remain anonymous is essential. The secrecy of this lifestyle is also one of its attractions.
In addition to men who have no respect for this, FAB has become a very public place, more so with the lockdowns which brought the curious and nosey types.
I value the secret aspects and prefer anonymous scenarios.
We may have to start promoting a code of conduct to the newbies. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"lol love the change in attitude once people know what he did. What a needle dick. "
Breaching the privacy of someone in this lifestyle is not acceptable, regardless of what is revealed or how it's done. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Funnily I never went to his place was always at mine. When I pulled him about giving out my home address, he said it was no big deal and I need to stop worrying. Admin haven't removed him and last time I reported him them removed me from the forums. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Or you could also just.. not care? As long as you're not doing anything illegal or unethical you should be fine? I've never understood why people are upset, I obviously don't plaster the fact I'm a swingers all over my life, but if someone found out surely if they are in the community then they wouldn't/couldn't say anything, and if they aren't you're not doing anything wrong? So why would it matter?
This guy gave out my home address to another guy on here.
That’s bang out of order in any situation never mind on here. Even passing a telephone number between my friends I ask first. People need to respect other’s privacy. "
Same here just the decent thing to do in any circumstances but especially so when intimate aspects of your life are concerned.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *host63Man
over a year ago
Bedfont Feltham |
"Or you could also just.. not care? As long as you're not doing anything illegal or unethical you should be fine? I've never understood why people are upset, I obviously don't plaster the fact I'm a swingers all over my life, but if someone found out surely if they are in the community then they wouldn't/couldn't say anything, and if they aren't you're not doing anything wrong? So why would it matter?
This guy gave out my home address to another guy on here.
"
That is outrageous. Anybway you can return the favour? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sadly this doesn't surprise me. I've seen men quite openly offer their unaware wives or partners phone number to random men on the internet to see "how far they can take it" and other men offer to give their wife's location so that yet another unknown weirdo from the internet can try to seduce her. Despicable behaviour both on the part off the men offering and those agreeing to take part and shows how much disrespect for women's autonomy and safety there still exists.
A friend of mine recently had an incident that was very frightening. He had been talking with a 'woman' on another site, and they had discussed meeting to act out a very specific sexual fantasy. They exchanged several pictures and arranged a time to meet - he turned up at her house, at the agreed on time, the door was answered by the woman in the pictures... and she had no clue who he was or why he was there. Needless to say, the poor woman was terrified and my friend was pretty freaked out too! "
There was a guy once in chat rooms asking people to come and fuck his wife. When I asked what they were looking for this guy told me his wife would be blindfolded and tied up. She liked to be pretend she was being abused. They wanted men to come over and abuse her sexually.
Something about it just screamed "no" don't go there. I just had a feeling the wife had not consented and was being forced. As I had no proof she was being forced there was nothing I could do. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
