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Kissing
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I love kissing and find I really get turned on by it on a meet. In fact I find I sometimes struggle to get rock hard if I don't kiss. Anyone else have any views on this? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Simple rule of thumb for my wife is :-
One glass of red = no kissing.
Two glasses of red = no kissing.
Three glasses of red = kissing,tongues,cocks,anything goes between her sweet lips.!!!!!
T |
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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"Simple rule of thumb for my wife is :-
One glass of red = no kissing.
Two glasses of red = no kissing.
Three glasses of red = kissing,tongues,cocks,anything goes between her sweet lips.!!!!!
T"
Would the wine act as a mouthwash , to reduce those pesky germs?? |
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"Simple rule of thumb for my wife is :-
One glass of red = no kissing.
Two glasses of red = no kissing.
Three glasses of red = kissing,tongues,cocks,anything goes between her sweet lips.!!!!!
T
Would the wine act as a mouthwash , to reduce those pesky germs??"
Definitely 
Got to be worth trying anyway lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My partner and I initially started with a no kissing other people rule, but now we're both perfectly fine with it and love a good snog when we play with others! |
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"Everyone is entitled to their own blah blah blah.
Always makes me feel like they have some serious unresolved issues if kissing is forbidden.
 , such as? This could get interesting  "
I'm genuinely interested in the thinking behind such a statement. Not in an aggressive way but kissing seems to be the only boundary that people question and feel able to imply that not doing it indicates problems in a relationship. If I said I only do anal with my husband nobody would dream of suggesting such a thing.
Is it because some people have a need to feel a temporary intimacy with their casual partners and don't understand those of us who don't have that need? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Everyone is entitled to their own blah blah blah.
Always makes me feel like they have some serious unresolved issues if kissing is forbidden.
, such as? This could get interesting
I'm genuinely interested in the thinking behind such a statement. Not in an aggressive way but kissing seems to be the only boundary that people question and feel able to imply that not doing it indicates problems in a relationship. If I said I only do anal with my husband nobody would dream of suggesting such a thing.
Is it because some people have a need to feel a temporary intimacy with their casual partners and don't understand those of us who don't have that need?"
This is interesting. I wonder if some people are therefore longing for a level of intimacy beyond simply swinging? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Kissing is a must for us..its sensual and erotic, a physical and visual stimulation when on a meet which helps set the scene and build the mood and desire for the sex. |
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"I'm genuinely interested in the thinking behind such a statement. Not in an aggressive way but kissing seems to be the only boundary that people question and feel able to imply that not doing it indicates problems in a relationship. If I said I only do anal with my husband nobody would dream of suggesting such a thing.
Is it because some people have a need to feel a temporary intimacy with their casual partners and don't understand those of us who don't have that need?"
Whilst others are unwilling to, for example, justify their homophobic tendencies, I'm happy to justify my thoughts here. It's an interesting conversation if done right.
I suppose you can try and clarify what "temporary intimacy" means when you're already putting bits of your body inside others. But ultimately the huge difference between kissing and anal is that they are naturally on the other side of any realistic continuum that has conventional, consensual intercourse in the middle of them. If it's fine to run your fingers through someone elses hair, to stroke their skin, to play with their junk... to ring fence one act that is pretty tame, "First date after a Nandos and the latest Transformers film that seemed to go well and thought you'd chance your hand in the car park" material just feels very strange to me, as it feels so anomalous.
To me it feels self evident that "intimacy" is a good thing, the whole point of the experiences we seek. The idea of having none, to have sex with people you have (as I'd interpret that language) no connection to, no fondness for, no knowledge of, might as well just be a piece of meat... not for us. I'm not saying anyone should or shouldn't do it, but we would feel very uncomfortable about playing with people who don't. We've never considered for a second that it shouldn't be done, and it was surprising to see people having that position what I'd never have thought would be a thing in the first place. I suppose some just seeing it as more meaningful than others do?
It usually makes immediately think of that Pretty Woman scene...
"What do you do?"
"Everything."
"But I don't kiss on the mouth."
"Neither do I."
Best film ever ever BTW.
|
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"Everyone is entitled to their own blah blah blah.
Always makes me feel like they have some serious unresolved issues if kissing is forbidden.
, such as? This could get interesting
I'm genuinely interested in the thinking behind such a statement. Not in an aggressive way but kissing seems to be the only boundary that people question and feel able to imply that not doing it indicates problems in a relationship. If I said I only do anal with my husband nobody would dream of suggesting such a thing.
Is it because some people have a need to feel a temporary intimacy with their casual partners and don't understand those of us who don't have that need?"
Not full swapping has also been questioned on other threads. Apparently if some don’t want to do things that others do there’s a problem. If people don’t desire to kiss or full swap, pretty sure there’s not a problem. Let’s let everybody have their own boundaries and not question them.  This could still get interesting |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Got to be kissing involved for me, it's a massive part of the whole sex experience. A bad kisser is a massive turn off and I wouldn't even consider meeting anyone who doesn't kiss.... for me the kissing/touching is every bit as important as the penetration.
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"Everyone is entitled to their own blah blah blah.
Always makes me feel like they have some serious unresolved issues if kissing is forbidden.
, such as? This could get interesting
I'm genuinely interested in the thinking behind such a statement. Not in an aggressive way but kissing seems to be the only boundary that people question and feel able to imply that not doing it indicates problems in a relationship. If I said I only do anal with my husband nobody would dream of suggesting such a thing.
Is it because some people have a need to feel a temporary intimacy with their casual partners and don't understand those of us who don't have that need?
This is interesting. I wonder if some people are therefore longing for a level of intimacy beyond simply swinging? "
Yes in my opinion and limited observation some people are.
There's nothing wrong with that we all have different reasons for being here. I just wouldn't dream of making assumptions about someone's relationship based on that alone.
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"I'm genuinely interested in the thinking behind such a statement. Not in an aggressive way but kissing seems to be the only boundary that people question and feel able to imply that not doing it indicates problems in a relationship. If I said I only do anal with my husband nobody would dream of suggesting such a thing.
Is it because some people have a need to feel a temporary intimacy with their casual partners and don't understand those of us who don't have that need?
Whilst others are unwilling to, for example, justify their homophobic tendencies, I'm happy to justify my thoughts here. It's an interesting conversation if done right.
I suppose you can try and clarify what "temporary intimacy" means when you're already putting bits of your body inside others. But ultimately the huge difference between kissing and anal is that they are naturally on the other side of any realistic continuum that has conventional, consensual intercourse in the middle of them. If it's fine to run your fingers through someone elses hair, to stroke their skin, to play with their junk... to ring fence one act that is pretty tame, "First date after a Nandos and the latest Transformers film that seemed to go well and thought you'd chance your hand in the car park" material just feels very strange to me, as it feels so anomalous.
To me it feels self evident that "intimacy" is a good thing, the whole point of the experiences we seek. The idea of having none, to have sex with people you have (as I'd interpret that language) no connection to, no fondness for, no knowledge of, might as well just be a piece of meat... not for us. I'm not saying anyone should or shouldn't do it, but we would feel very uncomfortable about playing with people who don't. We've never considered for a second that it shouldn't be done, and it was surprising to see people having that position what I'd never have thought would be a thing in the first place. I suppose some just seeing it as more meaningful than others do?
It usually makes immediately think of that Pretty Woman scene...
"What do you do?"
"Everything."
"But I don't kiss on the mouth."
"Neither do I."
Best film ever ever BTW.
"
OK I can see your point but what deep unresolved issues do you suspect we have in our 40 year relationship? |
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"Everyone is entitled to their own blah blah blah.
Always makes me feel like they have some serious unresolved issues if kissing is forbidden.
, such as? This could get interesting
I'm genuinely interested in the thinking behind such a statement. Not in an aggressive way but kissing seems to be the only boundary that people question and feel able to imply that not doing it indicates problems in a relationship. If I said I only do anal with my husband nobody would dream of suggesting such a thing.
Is it because some people have a need to feel a temporary intimacy with their casual partners and don't understand those of us who don't have that need?
Not full swapping has also been questioned on other threads. Apparently if some don’t want to do things that others do there’s a problem. If people don’t desire to kiss or full swap, pretty sure there’s not a problem. Let’s let everybody have their own boundaries and not question them. This could still get interesting "
Its interesting to hear others points of view in open, adult discussion. I'm not about to get into an argument though |
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"Everyone is entitled to their own blah blah blah.
Always makes me feel like they have some serious unresolved issues if kissing is forbidden.
, such as? This could get interesting
I'm genuinely interested in the thinking behind such a statement. Not in an aggressive way but kissing seems to be the only boundary that people question and feel able to imply that not doing it indicates problems in a relationship. If I said I only do anal with my husband nobody would dream of suggesting such a thing.
Is it because some people have a need to feel a temporary intimacy with their casual partners and don't understand those of us who don't have that need?
This is interesting. I wonder if some people are therefore longing for a level of intimacy beyond simply swinging?
Yes in my opinion and limited observation some people are.
There's nothing wrong with that we all have different reasons for being here. I just wouldn't dream of making assumptions about someone's relationship based on that alone.
"
Sure, can't fault any of that, I'd just wonder why you specifically give kissing such an apparently high status over anything else? What makes it more meaningful than whatever else goes on? I love kissing, but don't find it any more intimate than anything else. Indeed rimming vs kissing a beautiful layyydeee... I know which I find more intimate.... But again that's easy to get lost in dictionary definitions etc. |
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"Everyone is entitled to their own blah blah blah.
Always makes me feel like they have some serious unresolved issues if kissing is forbidden.
, such as? This could get interesting
I'm genuinely interested in the thinking behind such a statement. Not in an aggressive way but kissing seems to be the only boundary that people question and feel able to imply that not doing it indicates problems in a relationship. If I said I only do anal with my husband nobody would dream of suggesting such a thing.
Is it because some people have a need to feel a temporary intimacy with their casual partners and don't understand those of us who don't have that need?
This is interesting. I wonder if some people are therefore longing for a level of intimacy beyond simply swinging?
Yes in my opinion and limited observation some people are.
There's nothing wrong with that we all have different reasons for being here. I just wouldn't dream of making assumptions about someone's relationship based on that alone.
Sure, can't fault any of that, I'd just wonder why you specifically give kissing such an apparently high status over anything else? What makes it more meaningful than whatever else goes on? I love kissing, but don't find it any more intimate than anything else. Indeed rimming vs kissing a beautiful layyydeee... I know which I find more intimate.... But again that's easy to get lost in dictionary definitions etc."
We don't give kissing a particularly high status we've agreed between ourselves that it's not something either of us want to do . We ensure that people know before we meet, it's on our profile along with other stuff that won't be happening. A lot of people point out that they won't meet us because of this and its fine, we can't suit everyone |
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Kissing is fine as its a big turn on both to do and watch but there is a time when a kiss can come across as more than just going with the flow as in after the event and its just a thank you and good bye but one person carries on kissing in a more passionate manner. This then comes across as stepping over the line when nsa, casual sex has a cured. This may seem so strange after you have had sex with someone and enjoyed the experience but that's were it should all end and to try and continue it further with passionate kissing of another's partner to me falls into the realm of going to far as it implies that one is wanting more than just sex. Swinging means different things to different people and I guess that's why everyone has an opinion about topics in question. |
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"Kissing is fine as its a big turn on both to do and watch but there is a time when a kiss can come across as more than just going with the flow as in after the event and its just a thank you and good bye but one person carries on kissing in a more passionate manner. This then comes across as stepping over the line when nsa, casual sex has a cured. This may seem so strange after you have had sex with someone and enjoyed the experience but that's were it should all end and to try and continue it further with passionate kissing of another's partner to me falls into the realm of going to far as it implies that one is wanting more than just sex. Swinging means different things to different people and I guess that's why everyone has an opinion about topics in question. "
I can certainly imagine feeling *specific* kisses feel wrong, but I'd expect to see the same thing in general body language and other ways too. |
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"Kissing is fine as its a big turn on both to do and watch but there is a time when a kiss can come across as more than just going with the flow as in after the event and its just a thank you and good bye but one person carries on kissing in a more passionate manner. This then comes across as stepping over the line when nsa, casual sex has a cured. This may seem so strange after you have had sex with someone and enjoyed the experience but that's were it should all end and to try and continue it further with passionate kissing of another's partner to me falls into the realm of going to far as it implies that one is wanting more than just sex. Swinging means different things to different people and I guess that's why everyone has an opinion about topics in question. "
Your last sentence about sums it up for me. |
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"Kissing is fine as its a big turn on both to do and watch but there is a time when a kiss can come across as more than just going with the flow as in after the event and its just a thank you and good bye but one person carries on kissing in a more passionate manner. This then comes across as stepping over the line when nsa, casual sex has a cured. This may seem so strange after you have had sex with someone and enjoyed the experience but that's were it should all end and to try and continue it further with passionate kissing of another's partner to me falls into the realm of going to far as it implies that one is wanting more than just sex. Swinging means different things to different people and I guess that's why everyone has an opinion about topics in question.
Your last sentence about sums it up for me. "
Sure, but then also sex, love and lust in the wider world are going to influence those things too, maybe more so? |
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"Kissing is fine as its a big turn on both to do and watch but there is a time when a kiss can come across as more than just going with the flow as in after the event and its just a thank you and good bye but one person carries on kissing in a more passionate manner. This then comes across as stepping over the line when nsa, casual sex has a cured. This may seem so strange after you have had sex with someone and enjoyed the experience but that's were it should all end and to try and continue it further with passionate kissing of another's partner to me falls into the realm of going to far as it implies that one is wanting more than just sex. Swinging means different things to different people and I guess that's why everyone has an opinion about topics in question.
Your last sentence about sums it up for me.
Sure, but then also sex, love and lust in the wider world are going to influence those things too, maybe more so?"
How do you mean? Our attitudes towards them or experiences of them? |
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"Kissing is fine as its a big turn on both to do and watch but there is a time when a kiss can come across as more than just going with the flow as in after the event and its just a thank you and good bye but one person carries on kissing in a more passionate manner. This then comes across as stepping over the line when nsa, casual sex has a cured. This may seem so strange after you have had sex with someone and enjoyed the experience but that's were it should all end and to try and continue it further with passionate kissing of another's partner to me falls into the realm of going to far as it implies that one is wanting more than just sex. Swinging means different things to different people and I guess that's why everyone has an opinion about topics in question.
Your last sentence about sums it up for me.
Sure, but then also sex, love and lust in the wider world are going to influence those things too, maybe more so?
How do you mean? Our attitudes towards them or experiences of them? "
I just would think it's fairly uncontroversial that your morals, beliefs and world view are pretty similar inside vs outside of swinging. Whilst plenty of things would not be relevant in the wider world, you could probably still guess what they'd be based on other parts of your personality etc.
Given what I just had for lunch, I'm imagining swinging as a pancake being laid over the sugar bowl and lemon juice bottle etc... Everyone's... erm.. swinging... pancake... takes a different shape, but it's because of what it's being put on top of, that was already there beforehand.
Tenuous analogies are awesome. |
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I guess at the end of the day we all should recognise that we are all different and that we should always respect other people's boundaries without judgment of weather its right or not. Remember this is supposed to be about having fun remember so live and let live I say and if it feels right between concenting adults then go for it but if it feels wrong then what ever it is it inevitabley must be for those concerned. |
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"Kissing is fine as its a big turn on both to do and watch but there is a time when a kiss can come across as more than just going with the flow as in after the event and its just a thank you and good bye but one person carries on kissing in a more passionate manner. This then comes across as stepping over the line when nsa, casual sex has a cured. This may seem so strange after you have had sex with someone and enjoyed the experience but that's were it should all end and to try and continue it further with passionate kissing of another's partner to me falls into the realm of going to far as it implies that one is wanting more than just sex. Swinging means different things to different people and I guess that's why everyone has an opinion about topics in question.
Your last sentence about sums it up for me.
Sure, but then also sex, love and lust in the wider world are going to influence those things too, maybe more so?
How do you mean? Our attitudes towards them or experiences of them?
I just would think it's fairly uncontroversial that your morals, beliefs and world view are pretty similar inside vs outside of swinging. Whilst plenty of things would not be relevant in the wider world, you could probably still guess what they'd be based on other parts of your personality etc.
Given what I just had for lunch, I'm imagining swinging as a pancake being laid over the sugar bowl and lemon juice bottle etc... Everyone's... erm.. swinging... pancake... takes a different shape, but it's because of what it's being put on top of, that was already there beforehand.
Tenuous analogies are awesome."
Right. I understand. I think that you and I approach this quite differently and with different life experiences. A lot of people would suggest that anyone involved in swinging has serious relationship problems and certainly it's often been suggested to us that involvement in bdsm means that one or both of us are emotionally damaged. I'll just say that in the 40 years we've been together there's an awful lot of both lemon juice and sugar under our particular pancake, we like the pancake the way it is though
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You won't believe how much bacteria passes between each other when you kiss. Disgusting. From someone in the dental business. "
And yet you have rimming in your interests.  |
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"You won't believe how much bacteria passes between each other when you kiss. Disgusting. From someone in the dental business.
And yet you have rimming in your interests. "
In line with that, the looks I get when I say my wife and I tend to share the same electric toothbrush head! Despite everything else we do together, that's still gross apparently?! |
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"I love kissing and find I really get turned on by it on a meet. In fact I find I sometimes struggle to get rock hard if I don't kiss. Anyone else have any views on this? "
One of my worst meets was with a young couple, where the wife didn't kiss others. She also didn't suck cock, so funnily enough, I struggled to get hard too! I thanked them for their time and went home. BIG lesson learned, and I've always checked people kiss before arranging meets ever since  |
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I totally respect each person/couple has a take on what's ok on a meet.
For me I as with a few find a meet so much better when kissing is involved, it's difficult when you are having sex and faces are close to not want to kiss so end up in some strange head to one side movement. Also the kissing is too intimate statment !? But shagging your wife isn't 
Like I said we are all here for different reasons and with different levels of boundaries. Just find a meet and agree the t&c's beforehand.
Jk |
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My wife and I would always agree to no kissing during a meet, but then she would always break the rule and I’d usually catch her with her tongue in the mouth of various men and women.
Guess the heat of the moment takes over sometimes, I never minded, in fact it made me hornier! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We both said no kissing.
That has gone out of the window.
We see it as a tease that could lead up to other things.
At the end of the day each for their own we say.x |
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"We both said no kissing.
That has gone out of the window.
We see it as a tease that could lead up to other things.
At the end of the day each for their own we say.x"
We had various rules when we started, including soft swap, whatever that would actually mean. In the end we mostly chucked them all out and not regretted it for a second. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We both said no kissing.
That has gone out of the window.
We see it as a tease that could lead up to other things.
At the end of the day each for their own we say.x
We had various rules when we started, including soft swap, whatever that would actually mean. In the end we mostly chucked them all out and not regretted it for a second."
Same here. We say do whatever you feel in the moment and enjoy it. Our only rule is neither of us take it for the team |
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I think I understand why kissing is off limits for some people. It can be very intimate. If I was to swing with someone I had a proper relationship with I think I’d find seeing him kissing another woman more difficult than him fucking her. Without the kissing it’s not intimate, it’s just sport. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not a deal breaker but I do like to kiss a lot on meets xx"
Same here.
It is funny how when most swingers greet each other with a kiss on the lips instead of the cheek |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think I understand why kissing is off limits for some people. It can be very intimate. If I was to swing with someone I had a proper relationship with I think I’d find seeing him kissing another woman more difficult than him fucking her. Without the kissing it’s not intimate, it’s just sport. "
To us it is part of the build up....by the way you have a great body.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Simple rule of thumb for my wife is :-
One glass of red = no kissing.
Two glasses of red = no kissing.
Three glasses of red = kissing,tongues,cocks,anything goes between her sweet lips.!!!!!
T"
fantastic ... |
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"I'm genuinely interested in the thinking behind such a statement. Not in an aggressive way but kissing seems to be the only boundary that people question and feel able to imply that not doing it indicates problems in a relationship. If I said I only do anal with my husband nobody would dream of suggesting such a thing.
Is it because some people have a need to feel a temporary intimacy with their casual partners and don't understand those of us who don't have that need?
Whilst others are unwilling to, for example, justify their homophobic tendencies, I'm happy to justify my thoughts here. It's an interesting conversation if done right.
I suppose you can try and clarify what "temporary intimacy" means when you're already putting bits of your body inside others. But ultimately the huge difference between kissing and anal is that they are naturally on the other side of any realistic continuum that has conventional, consensual intercourse in the middle of them. If it's fine to run your fingers through someone elses hair, to stroke their skin, to play with their junk... to ring fence one act that is pretty tame, "First date after a Nandos and the latest Transformers film that seemed to go well and thought you'd chance your hand in the car park" material just feels very strange to me, as it feels so anomalous.
To me it feels self evident that "intimacy" is a good thing, the whole point of the experiences we seek. The idea of having none, to have sex with people you have (as I'd interpret that language) no connection to, no fondness for, no knowledge of, might as well just be a piece of meat... not for us. I'm not saying anyone should or shouldn't do it, but we would feel very uncomfortable about playing with people who don't. We've never considered for a second that it shouldn't be done, and it was surprising to see people having that position what I'd never have thought would be a thing in the first place. I suppose some just seeing it as more meaningful than others do?
It usually makes immediately think of that Pretty Woman scene...
"What do you do?"
"Everything."
"But I don't kiss on the mouth."
"Neither do I."
Best film ever ever BTW.
"
Well put x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No kissing during sex massively reduces the intimacy for me which then would turn into meaningless humping which is not really for me...
Kissing , neck and ear nibbling all the way for me "
Agree with you 100% |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I love kissing and find I really get turned on by it on a meet. In fact I find I sometimes struggle to get rock hard if I don't kiss. Anyone else have any views on this? "
I will not meet a couple or woman who has a no kissing rule. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I actually crave a good passionate kiss more than I crave anything else sexual. It’s where it all starts with kissing and nothing would happen with me without kissing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I love knowing that the built up combination of attraction and frustration comes to a head with a kiss....
....building and building into something amazingly climactic, leading to amazing sex.
I think you can tell what the sex is going to be like from that initial kiss and how each of your bodies respond to it |
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"I love kissing and find I really get turned on by it on a meet. In fact I find I sometimes struggle to get rock hard if I don't kiss. Anyone else have any views on this? "
Kissing is essential to me. I would not say it prevents me from getting hard, but it’s always a surprise when I read profiles where I can read people are not allowing kissing. |
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females only 
