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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi all, I have met a lass online, she's not on here, two questions how soon do you tell someone about your past on here, and secondly that im bi, we have been chatting for a while and are wanting to meet up for a first date soon. |
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Depends how long you’ve been on and how active you are really.
For some it’s a passing fad. For others it’s a whole ass lifestyle.
I agree with the lady above that I’m pretty open about it but then I have to be cos it’s like 90% of my social life.
But to answer your question I’d probably wait til about date 3.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The Bi thing should be brought up quickly ... I would prefer to know.
I wouldn’t mention here unless I wanted to bring someone on board. My past is my business |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
I'm very clear about who I am because I want someone to like and accept me for who I am and if they don't that's ok, it just means we're not suited.
I wouldn't like to waste their time or mine.
If I met someone and they let me know they were on here and also interested in their own gender I would love it. Of course not everybody is like that but that's me! |
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When my son came out to me as bisexual I told him it was his business however he should make partners aware particularly women as one won’t like it.
With regards to fab - it would depend if you want her to join or if you would give it up for a relationship and be content with that.
We don’t start a new relationship giving every detail of our previous sex lifes So it’s what you are comfortable with
Good luck, hope it works out for you xx |
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Its a delicate situation. You don't want to waste yours or her time. But on the other hand you don't want to discuss sex too early and come across like you have one thing on your mind. Timing is everything. Although I think a few factors may effect how you handle this such as:
On what premise are you both dating? Such as is it off a relationship site or nothing serious or causal hook up etc?
Is exclusivity expected of you by the other person at this point?
In terms of your Bisexuality are you interested in men purley from a sexual angle or have you/are you open to date and have relationships with men? |
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"Delete on here bury your past and go vanilla women in general are less open minded on swinging so no need to tell her yet. "
To be fair when I (Mr Misfit) was single and discovered both swinging and online dating I was chatting to a woman for a long time and explained the swinging and club thing to her. It didn't put her off and she was very keen to meet me even though it wasn't her thing. Totally something she'd not thought about and said wasn't for her as such. But she wasn't put off that it was something I was currently doing when I explained everything. In fact she was quite intrigued as to what goes on. We had got to know each other fairly well through online before I told her these things, but I suspect if I had come out with it in the first few messages she'd probably thought I was a creep and run.
But I think another thing you have to ask is do you want to continue swinging as part of a future relationship? Is it a must have? I'm guessing by your opening post thats a yes? In which case I disagree with the above post. Yes it would put many women off because most people are swingers. Buts thats ok because they're not for you as they don't want the same as you. Surely you want to be with someone you can share all of you with including your deviance and desire? If so you need to find someone who accepts all of you and wants to share that with you. You don't want to feel oppressed and/or you have to keep secrets. |
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I wouldnt say anything just yet and would just enjoying the dating.
If you feel that you are becoming official and a couple then that would be the time to re-evaluate your desires.
You may feel that she will be enough... You may feel that you would like to swing with her. You may feel that you cant settle down due being bi inwhich case an understanding may need to be reached
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I have always been open about my crossdressing, with every woman I’ve had a relationship with. Not once was that the reason the relationship ended.
So I agree with a previous poster, it’s timing and using an opportunity if it should arise.
An example in my case was, watching Priscilla Queen of the desert, I hadn’t picked the film but there was an opportunity to bring it up. So I wouldn’t have to admit to my crossdressing but at least I’d get an idea of how she may react. Then play it by ear.
I don’t think there should be a specific time, like by the third or forth date but if the conversation was starting to get a little more intimate and you feel a connection, bite the bullet and let her know  |
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