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Finding out wife watching porn
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By *4u2007 OP TV/TS
over a year ago
central |
So yesterday I found out that my wife has been watching porn on her phone.
We were in the car and I was using her phone to find a menu online, when I opened safari I found the porn hub symbol in the recently view section. I was blown away by this as my wife has tended to act with disdain for porn in general even giving me a hard time in the past for watching it.
When we got home I had a sneak look at her history and found links to porn hub with searches for bi sexual, bi mmf and pegging.
I suppose what I’m asking is how can I develop this in her to help her enter this world, our sex life is a bit sporadic and a little vanilla BUT I love my wife with all my heart and would love for this to develop into something more but want it to happen naturally and don’t want to scare her off
Does anyone have any experience with this? What do I do
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"So yesterday I found out that my wife has been watching porn on her phone.
We were in the car and I was using her phone to find a menu online, when I opened safari I found the porn hub symbol in the recently view section. I was blown away by this as my wife has tended to act with disdain for porn in general even giving me a hard time in the past for watching it.
When we got home I had a sneak look at her history and found links to porn hub with searches for bi sexual, bi mmf and pegging.
I suppose what I’m asking is how can I develop this in her to help her enter this world, our sex life is a bit sporadic and a little vanilla BUT I love my wife with all my heart and would love for this to develop into something more but want it to happen naturally and don’t want to scare her off
Does anyone have any experience with this? What do I do
"
She can Peg me of she likes...  |
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"She doesn’t know anything about my cross dressing "
I feel like you need to have a very open talk with her first. You're obviously both enjoying things behind the others backs. There's nothing strictly wrong about that in a marriage. You're allowed your own links. But if you want her to be involved in your cross dressing and to act out what you've found on her phone then you need to lay everything out. Dressing, Fab, looking through her phone. The lot. Good luck!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Id bring up the topic of porn in conversation..
Like you were talking to mates about it and someones wife watches it all the time blah blah..see what her reaction is?
Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And...... I watch it all the time, your problem is.....
E"
To be fair, I don’t think OP suggested they had any problem with it, more like they were asking how they could encourage it further.... unless I missed something ?  |
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By *4u2007 OP TV/TS
over a year ago
central |
Thank you very much for all of your positive comments so far
I’ve actually left the cross dressing stuff behind now tbh so that not an issue. However the bisexual and pegging stuff I’d really like to encourage
It was just so out of the blue and makes me wonder what more is going on I feel like I’m about to jump down a rabbit hole with her and I don’t want to scare her, her views on porn in the past have been negative was that just a ruse?
I know I need to talk to her about it but I feel that might make her put walls up especially if it goes wrong
I was hoping that someone might have experience of doing it on a mutual discovery type of way
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I was hoping for some gems of wisdom from this thread too.
I have initiated my hubby to prostate milking and pegging, but nothing beyond this.
We have talked about MMF 3sums and he loves the fantasy of it, but is afraid to make it reality. He also fantasises about FMF, but I am the one who is a little unsure of that.
In regards to initiating him to prostate milking and pegging it was through my gently bringing it in to conversations in bed and then us watching porn together.
He was unsure about pegging, so we took it slow. He loves it now as do I.
Still after inspiration about 3sums..... |
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Start by improving communication between the two of you if you can. If a partner is unwilling or unable to talk intimately about sex or is emotionally unavailable that will be difficult or we'll nigh impossible though. However if you can create a safe space where you *both* feel able to share things you can start small and build up.
How available are you to each other emotionally? |
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This is a hard subject because you're on fab and she doesn't know. So firstly I don't agree with that. However it's your life so whatever!
You often find people don't communicate in their relationships which ends up with one or both parties cheating when it could have just taken a brief convo to change that! (I did relationship and sexual counselling for years).
With relationships it's often that one party feels like their life partner will judge them especially when it's something "taboo". I would just be honest and say I saw you were watching this porn and I was wondering if you wanted to try it because I'm into that too? And just try opening up the conversation without it making her feel like you're putting her on the spot.  |
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By *andk1000Couple
over a year ago
Northampton |
I would put the porn to one side for now. It’s just one aspect of sex.
I would see if you can have an open discussion about sex generally. You can always bring up porn and the fact that you like to share that experience at a later stage.
Don’t forget that porn gives us an insight into each other’s fantasies and some people are very protective and defensive of that. |
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I watch a lot of things in porn that I would never, ever do IRL. All you’ve discovered is what she sometimes likes to watch, not an insight into what she wants to do. And she’s unlikely to be pleased that you went through her phone. |
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By *4u2007 OP TV/TS
over a year ago
central |
[
"
How available are you to each other emotionally? "
We have been through a lot together and I feel that we communicate much better now than we have in the past
Just to clear a few things up,
I was on fab long before we met and left that life behind when we started getting serious, I only use it now to view pics and read stories lol
I was not snooping on her phone behind her back, we have a open policy with phones and we look at each other’s all the time
I suppose when I say I want bring her into this world I mean I want to build on our sexlife and develop a deeper relationship with her. it’s like I’m finding things out about her that I didn’t know and I’m finding that exciting.
Do I think just because she is watching a certain type of porn that she wants to do it, NO, I don’t, I just find it interesting that it’s stuff that I have looked at and find a turn on which also excites me.
As I said earlier we have a sporadic and fairly vanilla sexlife and I want to improve that but I feel that it needs to be done slowly as I don’t want to scare her off and ruin our relationship. I’m finding out a new side to her and I would like to be a part of it if I can. The reason I come to this forum is there maybe people out there that have been on this journey and can give me some advice. Thank you to all of you that have done that so far
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You profile gives the impression you are here for more than picture viewing and a forum chat. If that’s all you are here for, not sure it’s necessary to state your not prepared to swallow anyone’s piss |
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We all do things our own way, so we aren’t here to judge you as we don’t know you.
It might be worth deleting your profile and then saying to your partner that you have been looking at porn on fab. You could then show her the site and together you could explore what you both want. It comes down to honesty, sas others have said it can be difficult tobehonest about ‘taboo’s’, but she is your partner and she should be the one you can be honest with...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Are you sure it was an accident when using her phone you came across the porn site .may be next time your shagging and an intervil happened start a conversation on one of her porn interests and see her reaction. |
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By *4u2007 OP TV/TS
over a year ago
central |
"You profile gives the impression you are here for more than picture viewing and a forum chat. If that’s all you are here for, not sure it’s necessary to state your not prepared to swallow anyone’s piss "
Thank you for showing me that a remnant of old ways I’ve adjusted my profile now |
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Leave a browser open on your phone with a porn hub page showing the same search terms as hers (bi-mmf, pegging etc.) and think think of some reason for her to open your phone. That should start a conversation. |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
I would have mentioned it at the point of discovery like “aye aye looking at porn? Naughty!” and see what she said.
Mentioning Fab and you wanting her to join? Well I think you need to give her a glass of wine, get a takeaway in, then give her another glass of wine and CASUALLY drop it into conversation.
Good luck! |
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"I would have mentioned it at the point of discovery like “aye aye looking at porn? Naughty!” and see what she said.
Mentioning Fab and you wanting her to join? Well I think you need to give her a glass of wine, get a takeaway in, then give her another glass of wine and CASUALLY drop it into conversation.
Good luck!"
I think there is a lot in this. If you have an open phone policy then a casual comment about noting the porn would not have been amiss and start a conversation. Also if you have this open phone policy then potentially this history was there for you find? There's probably not a need for a lot soul searching when a simple conversation over a meal and glass of wine could take a lot of pressure off both of you. Just a thought |
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"She doesn’t know anything about my cross dressing
I bet you a tenner she does ... "
Exactly my thoughts, i bet she she 6 steps ahead and planted the seed by putting porn for you her fella to see. Of all the porn available, she seem very selective. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You judgemental lot
Best advice I can give:
A) be to the point and direct, maintaining the balance of being polite and courteous when you ask her.
B) Use your gut instinct, if she tries to deny anything... or if it gets awkward, give yourself a laughing exit strategy to be able to play it down, be cool.
Hope all goes well, everyone is different and I think it’s important for us to be supportive really, if you’re genuinely excited or have a burning desire to fulfil these fantasies, it’s probably best to come clean regarding your CD secrets.
Keep us posted  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would imagine that she wanted you to find the porn on her phone m8. You should have watched what stuff she was looking at and you should have gave her a right good horny session. She is trying to tell you something m8. Watch you don't lose her |
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"She doesn’t know anything about my cross dressing
I feel like you need to have a very open talk with her first. You're obviously both enjoying things behind the others backs. There's nothing strictly wrong about that in a marriage. You're allowed your own links. But if you want her to be involved in your cross dressing and to act out what you've found on her phone then you need to lay everything out. Dressing, Fab, looking throug
h her phone. The lot. Good luck! "
I totally agree. You both need to get your hidden desires out in the open with each other. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People are so funny and the amount of people that have to hide their feelings or nature on here is honestly tragic!
Just have a conversation! Your partner may suprise you x |
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"People are so funny and the amount of people that have to hide their feelings or nature on here is honestly tragic!
Just have a conversation! Your partner may suprise you x"
By slapping his face for looking at her phone history I bet |
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By *asha86Couple
over a year ago
walsall |
Communication and honesty is everything when it comes to fantasies and fab world. If she has seemed against porn when previously brought up in conversation you may find that something has been said regarding her use or existence of it in the past which is making her not be upfront about her liking it for fear of judgement (not saying that's the reason for everyone just based on experience)
Maybe have a a open chat about previous experience on fab before relationship and offer to show, include her in viewing it so that she can see what its like for herself ie forums, stories etc and ask how she feels about it. For us, it started as research for what we both were interested in, how the fab/swing side of things works. Give her chances to ask questions and try to keep it light without judging on both sides. The open phone policy you're already is doing can be used as a base to start from.
(I suppose when I say I want bring her into this world I mean I want to build on our sexlife and develop a deeper relationship with her. it’s like I’m finding things out about her that I didn’t know and I’m finding that exciting) explain this to her and you may find it goes a long way. Its getting to know each other intimately and what makes you both tick on a deeper level.
Do I think just because she is watching a certain type of porn that she wants to do it, NO, I don’t, I just find it interesting that it’s stuff that I have looked at and find a turn on which also excites me (try using this as example but explain by no means are you forcing it or wanting it but everything is open for discussion. If there is anything she's not willing to discuss don't force the issue but explain you're asking to get a better understanding thats all as this is what I've found in my own experience (although I know everyone's different) xT |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thank you very much for all of your positive comments so far
I’ve actually left the cross dressing stuff behind now tbh so that not an issue. However the bisexual and pegging stuff I’d really like to encourage
It was just so out of the blue and makes me wonder what more is going on I feel like I’m about to jump down a rabbit hole with her and I don’t want to scare her, her views on porn in the past have been negative was that just a ruse?
I know I need to talk to her about it but I feel that might make her put walls up especially if it goes wrong
I was hoping that someone might have experience of doing it on a mutual discovery type of way
"
How can you say you love her with all your heart when she doesn't even know the real you? Try and start with telling her about you, and your needs, go from there. |
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By *4u2007 OP TV/TS
over a year ago
central |
Thank you to all of you who have contributed and for all of your positivity.
I am going to speak to her about it, hopefully I’ll be able to update you all soon
Pls keep the advice coming in still so very nervous! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Pls keep the advice coming in still so very nervous!"
My advice is stop looking at her phone. You both have secrets: you've been keeping your TV/TS life and your fabbing from her after all. If you're not prepared to have a secrets-free relationship then leave it be and mind your own business. |
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"Thank you to all of you who have contributed and for all of your positivity.
I am going to speak to her about it, hopefully I’ll be able to update you all soon
Pls keep the advice coming in still so very nervous!"
guess the question equally is - does she know you are bi? |
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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago
Near Marlborough |
Porn is fantasy!!!! Fuck met if I wanted to do everything I searched for in pornhub I’d be sick in the head.
To jump to the conclusion that she’d want to do it in reality is misguided. I’d be proper fucked off you’d checked my history then I’d probably go on the defensive.
I’d suggest doing this a different way.
V x
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Women are allowed to enjoy porn on their own. Sometimes I enjoy watching it by myself. I'd be thoroughly pissed off if my husband had been through my phone snooping about at what I'd been looking at!
Once you'd noticed it by accident you should have just ask her. She obviously respects your privacy very much if she knows nothing about your fab account. She deserves the same respect.
If she wants to involve you in her watching, I'm sure she'll let you know.
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By *4u2007 OP TV/TS
over a year ago
central |
Well it’s been a few weeks since I found what I found and I’ve made some changes within myself.
Based on what has been said on this thread and listening to some sexual therapy podcasts I feel like I’ve now got things straight.
I decided not to confront her about what I found because I believe in doing this will take away her power in her own journey of discovery. Instead I am working very hard on our communication and intimacy levels in our relationship, I want to earn the right for her to tell me what she wants and for her to develop her fantasies with me.
Iam please to say that this is having a hugely positive effect on our marriage and we are having so much more fulfilling and satisfying intimacy which is already going places we have never gone before
Again thank you for all the comments and advice given you have all helped me so much, I’m looking forward to our future! |
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