FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > being polite
being polite
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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is it just me that always get's back to guys and say's no thanks if they are not for me, my bf is on here too and he always put please reply even if it's a no thanks but most go unanswered, I think it is a shame some woman think they are too good to reply to messages and don't give me that old line of well I get so many I can't reply to them all, I do get lots and that's why I hide my profile most of the time and only put it up when I want new meets, but I reply to every single one, do they understand how frustrating it is for a guy who see's his message has been unread or deleted. I guess I was just brought up to be polite and as they say good manners cost nothing x |
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we always reply politness costs nothing  |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
http://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/106735 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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we always reaply if they guy make the time to mail us the least we can do is say no thanks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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as much as it would be good manners to receive a reply from every message sent, I also understand that you girls can get hundreds of messages, so you just wont have the time to read or reply to every single one.
I put lots of effort into writing polite messages which I think helps getting noticed but it's still rare that I get a reply, even if its just a no thank you.
It hasn't put me off thou as I'm slowly building up my contacts on here and getting the odd meet or two, its just a hard for a single guy to shine. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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According to FS own facts..its not considered rude to not reply |
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"According to FS own facts..its not considered rude to not reply"
Just because admin say that it doesnt make it correct - it's just someones opinion and everyone is entitled to a their own opinion |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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And did I say otherwise |
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"And did I say otherwise"
did I say you did  you will note that I didn't choose to express an opinion either |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Smashing  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I have met some amazingly good looking guys on here, all very down to earth and a good laugh but thay have all said the same thing about the woman, they hardly get an answer from single girls and I know men outnumber the ladies so we do get a lot of mail but all I am saying is think about it, if somebody has bothered to take the time to read your profile and then messages you a nice polite personal message ending with please reply even if's it a no thanks the least you can do is answer x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You got a point.
It can be frustrating when you realise that you send a taylored message ( like i always do ) do avoid copy and paste, then you got nothing in return, not even a F...K off..
Then again based on some many thread that discussed this issue, i wont blame the ladies who don't reply guys who bombard them with one line messages or insulting messages
One thing for sure, the very nice ladies here always reply even with a quick NO thanks... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The problem i find is a polite no thanks is often replied with a why not or a oh come on babe etc. Gets a bit monotonous tbh x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The problem i find is a polite no thanks is often replied with a why not or a oh come on babe etc. Gets a bit monotonous tbh x"
I only get that maybe 2 out of 100. So it doesn't justify for me to ignore the other 98.
have to say I give a standard reply "Hi, thanks very much for your email and interest. Sorry but I'm not interested though. Take care and have fun". I usually get replies of thanks for replying and you too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The simple fact of the matter is that the internet really hasn't been around that long in the grand scheme of things and it's been around nowhere near long enough for a code of etiquette to become firmly established. Just read any ten profiles on here and guaranteed you'll find conflicting views (or more likely demands!) on basic politeness.
We don't always bother replying because we have better things to be doing with our time (it doesn't only take five seconds if you're as bad with a phone as I am!) and if people want to insist on thinking it's rude then fine, their problem. Just like if I hold a door open (or don't!) for a lady and she thinks it's rude, her problem. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My profile says that I can only meet in the evening, and then only Friday or Sunday. It also makes it pretty clear that I'm into a group thing, and that I don't meet one guy at a time.
When I get a (few hundred) message from a guy saying that he is going to take me back to his, and lick me and fuck me until I get to a place I've never been. He assures me he is all I need, and this is all going to take place Tuesday afternoon.
I should reply to this, why? |
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"is it just me that always get's back to guys and say's no thanks if they are not for me, my bf is on here too and he always put please reply even if it's a no thanks but most go unanswered, I think it is a shame some woman think they are too good to reply to messages and don't give me that old line of well I get so many I can't reply to them all, I do get lots and that's why I hide my profile most of the time and only put it up when I want new meets, but I reply to every single one, do they understand how frustrating it is for a guy who see's his message has been unread or deleted. I guess I was just brought up to be polite and as they say good manners cost nothing x"
Oh please, give it a rest! 
I don't get a lot of messages, I could answer every one should I wish, but why should I if they're outwith what I'm looking for?
My profile is specific, if a bi, married, Dom man from Glasgow sends me a message asking to meet, why would I answer when it says I'm seeking a straight, single, sub from London?!!
I think some people on here are so desperate for any kind of attention they answer every one to massage their fragile egos - good for you, but please, spare me the sanctimonious diatribe about "manners costing nothing"
....and breath... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dont reply if im not interested and not too bothered if 'upsets' the poor bloke. Considering how many messages I get that dont fit my criteria so the person blatantly hasnt read my profile why should I waste my time saying no thanks?? No thanks for not reading my profile or reading it by ignoring it and sending a message anyway. Also when you say no thanks some men/women/couples can start asking why not etc etc or even start being abusive. I dont get why people always start these forums. If someones not intersted in you just move on to those who do, why worry about those who dont?! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"is it just me that always get's back to guys and say's no thanks if they are not for me, my bf is on here too and he always put please reply even if it's a no thanks but most go unanswered, I think it is a shame some woman think they are too good to reply to messages and don't give me that old line of well I get so many I can't reply to them all, I do get lots and that's why I hide my profile most of the time and only put it up when I want new meets, but I reply to every single one, do they understand how frustrating it is for a guy who see's his message has been unread or deleted. I guess I was just brought up to be polite and as they say good manners cost nothing x
Oh please, give it a rest!
I don't get a lot of messages, I could answer every one should I wish, but why should I if they're outwith what I'm looking for?
My profile is specific, if a bi, married, Dom man from Glasgow sends me a message asking to meet, why would I answer when it says I'm seeking a straight, single, sub from London?!!
I think some people on here are so desperate for any kind of attention they answer every one to massage their fragile egos - good for you, but please, spare me the sanctimonious diatribe about "manners costing nothing"
....and breath..."
 haha that made me chuckle lol |
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It isnt rude not to respond its rude to tell them to fuck off. I reply to someone who i think has read my profile. Maybe your boyfriend should see what rubbish we have to wade through |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I've you had bothered to read the message,I put when somebody bothers to read your profile and sends you a personal message then a quick no thanks , not to everybody who is just doing a mail shot, yes and manners do seem in short supply around here x |
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"I've you had bothered to read the message,I put when somebody bothers to read your profile and sends you a personal message then a quick no thanks , not to everybody who is just doing a mail shot, yes and manners do seem in short supply around here x"
You didnt put that in your first post |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've you had bothered to read the message,I put when somebody bothers to read your profile and sends you a personal message then a quick no thanks , not to everybody who is just doing a mail shot, yes and manners do seem in short supply around here x"
sorry where did you say that???
is it just me that always get's back to guys and say's no thanks if they are not for me, my bf is on here too and he always put please reply even if it's a no thanks but most go unanswered, I think it is a shame some woman think they are too good to reply to messages and don't give me that old line of well I get so many I can't reply to them all, I do get lots and that's why I hide my profile most of the time and only put it up when I want new meets, but I reply to every single one, do they understand how frustrating it is for a guy who see's his message has been unread or deleted. I guess I was just brought up to be polite and as they say good manners cost nothing x  |
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"I've you had bothered to read the message,I put when somebody bothers to read your profile and sends you a personal message then a quick no thanks , not to everybody who is just doing a mail shot, yes and manners do seem in short supply around here x
sorry where did you say that???
is it just me that always get's back to guys and say's no thanks if they are not for me, my bf is on here too and he always put please reply even if it's a no thanks but most go unanswered, I think it is a shame some woman think they are too good to reply to messages and don't give me that old line of well I get so many I can't reply to them all, I do get lots and that's why I hide my profile most of the time and only put it up when I want new meets, but I reply to every single one, do they understand how frustrating it is for a guy who see's his message has been unread or deleted. I guess I was just brought up to be polite and as they say good manners cost nothing x "
Glad im not the only one that missed it either lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We always reply to all messages we get..
I just feel its manners to respond either way.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've you had bothered to read the message,I put when somebody bothers to read your profile and sends you a personal message then a quick no thanks , not to everybody who is just doing a mail shot, yes and manners do seem in short supply around here x"
think u need to get off your high horse a bit tbh. you decide to reply, some of us dont. We dont HAVE to reply which it states on this site. if i just delete the message then i do not see that as being rude. it is my way of letting them know im not interested. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am polite to some
I politely ignore others |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We always reply to all messages we get..
I just feel its manners to respond either way.. "
its got nothing to do with manners lol i dont owe anything to anyone lol some of us have better things to be doing than sitting on here all day writing messages saying thanks but not interesed. also that then ends up with a message asking y etc etc etc as aforementioned |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am polite to some
I politely ignore others "
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"I've you had bothered to read the message,I put when somebody bothers to read your profile and sends you a personal message then a quick no thanks , not to everybody who is just doing a mail shot, yes and manners do seem in short supply around here x
sorry where did you say that???
is it just me that always get's back to guys and say's no thanks if they are not for me, my bf is on here too and he always put please reply even if it's a no thanks but most go unanswered, I think it is a shame some woman think they are too good to reply to messages and don't give me that old line of well I get so many I can't reply to them all, I do get lots and that's why I hide my profile most of the time and only put it up when I want new meets, but I reply to every single one, do they understand how frustrating it is for a guy who see's his message has been unread or deleted. I guess I was just brought up to be polite and as they say good manners cost nothing x
Glad im not the only one that missed it either lol"
Another myopic forumite here! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Tbh if someone puts please reply, it's like a red rag to a bull with me. I don't like being told what to do! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We always reply to all messages we get..
I just feel its manners to respond either way..
its got nothing to do with manners lol i dont owe anything to anyone lol some of us have better things to be doing than sitting on here all day writing messages saying thanks but not interesed. also that then ends up with a message asking y etc etc etc as aforementioned"
Each to their own on how all of us respond/reply to messages.. personal choice at the end of the day.. that's what makes us all different. Life would be dull and boring if we were all the same I guess. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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it's the internet era. People don't care about faceless others. Such a shame that you can't click the block button when a guy approaches you in a club. Would make things so easier for you, as it's such a waste of time having to say no thanks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It really is a jungle out there ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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oops that was in reply to the lady who commented on my post! x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We always reply to all messages we get..
I just feel its manners to respond either way..
its got nothing to do with manners lol i dont owe anything to anyone lol some of us have better things to be doing than sitting on here all day writing messages saying thanks but not interesed. also that then ends up with a message asking y etc etc etc as aforementioned
Each to their own on how all of us respond/reply to messages.. personal choice at the end of the day.. that's what makes us all different. Life would be dull and boring if we were all the same I guess."
exactly but just coz someone does things different to you then shouldnt be insulted for it like the op has done |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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fair comment x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
Sometimes its just easier to accept that people have different standards on here rather than getting in a state about it
Nothing will ever change no matter how many pairs of knickers or pants end up getting in a twist about it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes its just easier to accept that people have different standards on here rather than getting in a state about it
Nothing will ever change no matter how many pairs of knickers or pants end up getting in a twist about it "
very true |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes its just easier to accept that people have different standards on here rather than getting in a state about it
Nothing will ever change no matter how many pairs of knickers or pants end up getting in a twist about it "
I can confirm that you got standards
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Whilst manners do indeed cost nothing it is worth noting that the Pendulum swings both ways.
a Single male is down at Fifth or Sixth in our wants list but because Jayne wishes to show a photo of her self dressed in Rubber we get tonnes of messages.
Most of these messages are from Single males who clearly have not read any of our profile, they are often pushy and rude ignoring the fact that we are a couple for starters.
To be honest there is a large number of single males ruining it for the minority who are well mannered.
It gets to you when these single males turn abusive and you feel that it would be best if you did meet just to explain in person that such abuse is not merited nor required.
the original poster of the post clearly lives in a sheltered part of the site,
Mark on behalf of Mark and Jayne...
Please do not get me started on unsolicited friend requests either! |
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"We always reply to all messages we get..
I just feel its manners to respond either way..
its got nothing to do with manners lol i dont owe anything to anyone lol some of us have better things to be doing than sitting on here all day writing messages saying thanks but not interesed. also that then ends up with a message asking y etc etc etc as aforementioned
Each to their own on how all of us respond/reply to messages.. personal choice at the end of the day.. that's what makes us all different. Life would be dull and boring if we were all the same I guess.
exactly but just coz someone does things different to you then shouldnt be insulted for it like the op has done "
So is she not entitled to an opinion - some people see it as rude not to reply others don't it's just an opinion |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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well i think its rude to reply when u clearly r not what i am looking for i now have fliters on so single guys can't message me but when i didn't i didn't feel rude not repling as i clear didn't want mail in first place
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I reply to messages but then I get a reply back, so what is the point in being polite? If I have said you are too far and over my hour limit, surely they should bugger off but they don't Sometimes I just ignore messages as it gets tiresome sending a no thanks message only for them to reply |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We always reply to all messages we get..
I just feel its manners to respond either way..
its got nothing to do with manners lol i dont owe anything to anyone lol some of us have better things to be doing than sitting on here all day writing messages saying thanks but not interesed. also that then ends up with a message asking y etc etc etc as aforementioned
Each to their own on how all of us respond/reply to messages.. personal choice at the end of the day.. that's what makes us all different. Life would be dull and boring if we were all the same I guess.
exactly but just coz someone does things different to you then shouldnt be insulted for it like the op has done
So is she not entitled to an opinion - some people see it as rude not to reply others don't it's just an opinion "
thats my point everyone can do what they want. dont insult others that dont share your opinion like the op has done |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i always reply to every email i receive, even if its a no thank you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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.On this site we don't reply to most messages because we don't want to spend ages sending rejection messages even though we feel it is impolite not to reply. On another site we use we reply to every message because there is a 'thanks but no thanks' button.
Problem solved. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I work on basis that if they have read my profile then I reply, if not then I don't. Most of the messages I receive are from men who do not fit profile and who have clearly not read it. Examples are men who are 5ft5, skinny and of small endowment messaging despite that being literally the polar opposite of my stated desires.
The guys on here should be big enough to expect to work hard, after all, they are the majority seeking a small minority in a crowded market place.
I always reply to couples and women as they invariably read my profile. xx |
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By *ove2-shareCouple
over a year ago
South Gloucestershire |
We dont reply to most, simple reason being that most are men seeking the wife but she doesnt check that often only as and when she has the time , so usually has a huge load to look at and no time to reply, I delete any that are clearly not what we/she wants to help out (ie absolutely no barenacks and she has def said no to under 30 so any 20 somethings are out)
its nothing personal and replying to everyone would take an inordinate amount of time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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messages that are copy and paste,one liners or ones that havent read profile or are just directed at nik get deleted.
thats not been rude,its just reply in the same style of the message that was sent to us.
polite ones we do reply
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I reply to the majority of them
I will send a simple 'no ta' to a message that has 'wanna fuck' and if there is no effort, I wont make much,
If someone sends a good message, I will respond properly but in my own head 'why should I put in more effort than was sent' .... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've you had bothered to read the message,I put when somebody bothers to read your profile and sends you a personal message then a quick no thanks , not to everybody who is just doing a mail shot, yes and manners do seem in short supply around here x"
Totaly agree, treat others as you'd like to be treated your self. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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".On this site we don't reply to most messages because we don't want to spend ages sending rejection messages even though we feel it is impolite not to reply. On another site we use we reply to every message because there is a 'thanks but no thanks' button.
Problem solved."
What a great idea, now there's one fabs could utilise. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well I've just given the thanks but no thanks n had a constant stream of messages from the guy sayin he wouldn't disappoint, I'll fick you anyway u like etc etc. tonite I've also had I'm free now wanna fuck if they had actually bothered to read my profile they would no all my meets are arranged in advance. Then I had the "you frigid fat fuck" as a response to my pilot thanks but no thanks so please remind me again why good manners always count |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well I've just given the thanks but no thanks n had a constant stream of messages from the guy sayin he wouldn't disappoint, I'll fick you anyway u like etc etc. tonite I've also had I'm free now wanna fuck if they had actually bothered to read my profile they would no all my meets are arranged in advance. Then I had the "you frigid fat fuck" as a response to my pilot thanks but no thanks so please remind me again why good manners always count "
And I'm not tarrin everyone wiv the same brush I hav had some nice responses too but sure u can appreciate way the delete is sometimes easier |
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dearest Prince Ivor Contomakegetrich,
thank you for your kind spam e-mail . as much as i would like to send my bank details so you deposit you vast fortune in to it for safe keeping for afew months . i am afraid i must decline at this time as dont have sort code to hand . wishing you well for you search temp x
ahh well on to the offers for "little blue pills " ,ppi claims and time shares. wouldnt want to be considered rude after them contacting me with such wonderous offers......  |
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"Well I've just given the thanks but no thanks n had a constant stream of messages from the guy sayin he wouldn't disappoint, I'll fick you anyway u like etc etc. tonite I've also had I'm free now wanna fuck if they had actually bothered to read my profile they would no all my meets are arranged in advance. Then I had the "you frigid fat fuck" as a response to my pilot thanks but no thanks so please remind me again why good manners always count "
Why keep responding to people you're not interested in?!! Why entertain someone who has ignored what you're looking for?!! You weren't surprised by the insult surely?!! The type of man that won't take no for an answer will nearly always end with an insult.
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We politely told a single guy we werent interested last night when playing at a club, and while with another couple on the bed he still tried to bang my Mrs from behind without asking or with a condom.
Needless to say, he didn't. Next time we will tell him to fuck off from the get go. |
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By *ove2-shareCouple
over a year ago
South Gloucestershire |
"We politely told a single guy we werent interested last night when playing at a club, and while with another couple on the bed he still tried to bang my Mrs from behind without asking or with a condom.
Needless to say, he didn't. Next time we will tell him to fuck off from the get go. "
hed be lucky to walk away with his bits intact if he tried that with my wife that is so out of order. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"we always reaply if they guy make the time to mail us the least we can do is say no thanks"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i would say that i get a reply in maybe 1 in 10 messages sent.
always polite , always check to see if i am in their criteria and always ask for a polite no thx.
i think people just jump on the "we get hundreds of messages a day we cant reply to all" escuse.
i had a very good couples profile on here with a previous FB and we answered ALL our mails which were may between 10 and 20 per day...
the most we had was about 40 in the first few days we were on, after that we would politely reply to, then block the ones we had no interest in and the number fell dramatically.
just excuses for impoliteness in my opinion. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i would say that i get a reply in maybe 1 in 10 messages sent.
always polite , always check to see if i am in their criteria and always ask for a polite no thx.
i think people just jump on the "we get hundreds of messages a day we cant reply to all" escuse.
i had a very good couples profile on here with a previous FB and we answered ALL our mails which were may between 10 and 20 per day...
the most we had was about 40 in the first few days we were on, after that we would politely reply to, then block the ones we had no interest in and the number fell dramatically.
just excuses for impoliteness in my opinion."
Can't speak for Alex but I instantly delete any message that specifically asks for a reply even if I'd otherwise be interested. If I want to reply I'll reply, don't start telling me what to do - that really is impolite... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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we dont always reply to a message from people who obviously havnt read our profile, and dont thinks it rude.
Its more rude to bombard people with mail when you arent what people want.
Understand that if you dont ask you dont get, but we never reply to junk mail through the door, is it any different? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"dearest Prince Ivor Contomakegetrich,
thank you for your kind spam e-mail . as much as i would like to send my bank details so you deposit you vast fortune in to it for safe keeping for afew months . i am afraid i must decline at this time as dont have sort code to hand . wishing you well for you search temp x
ahh well on to the offers for "little blue pills " ,ppi claims and time shares. wouldnt want to be considered rude after them contacting me with such wonderous offers...... "
but with that message, you knew 100% you'd be screwed  |
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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago
In Your Bush |
I don't bother sending new mail to anyone other than on my friends list now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I just don't reply to people I'm not interested in - and I often block them so they can't keep contacting me - and that's my choice. I couldn't care less if someone thinks I'm rude. I've sent messages to people on here before and not got a reply and I don't get all upset and needy about it. No reply = not interested, just accept it and move on. The sanctimonious air I get from so many on here who think they're a much better person for replying to all their messages is ridiculous. If you want to do that, fair enough, but I don't. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In the 'real world' it is rude to ignore someone..anyone.
This is hardly the place(or any similar sites)-to worry at a no reply.
Of course some people should just admit it, it IS rude...
I havent replied to my sisters text mid week...pretty rude, but hey...thats life.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd say the majority of guys who message me are rude because they don't read a single line of my profile and message me, expecting a reply, whereas if they'd bothered to read they would know that they are not what I'm looking for. I think we all have our perceptions of what is rude on here but ultimately I agree its not the place to be getting all wound up about lack of replies. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We reply and say hi etc, but we certainly don't waste time replying to people who clearly haven't read our profile. It's just as rude to message without reading it. (asking for a meet or talking just to lady indicate clearly that they hadn't, as does not being what we are looking for).
We used to reply suggesting people read our profile but since we got reported for it and got that furst and final warning, we don't bother. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd say the majority of guys who message me are rude because they don't read a single line of my profile and message me, expecting a reply, whereas if they'd bothered to read they would know that they are not what I'm looking for. I think we all have our perceptions of what is rude on here but ultimately I agree its not the place to be getting all wound up about lack of replies."
I've been looking up ur skirt.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd say the majority of guys who message me are rude because they don't read a single line of my profile and message me, expecting a reply, whereas if they'd bothered to read they would know that they are not what I'm looking for. I think we all have our perceptions of what is rude on here but ultimately I agree its not the place to be getting all wound up about lack of replies.
I've been looking up ur skirt.."
see anything good up there? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd say the majority of guys who message me are rude because they don't read a single line of my profile and message me, expecting a reply, whereas if they'd bothered to read they would know that they are not what I'm looking for. I think we all have our perceptions of what is rude on here but ultimately I agree its not the place to be getting all wound up about lack of replies.
I've been looking up ur skirt..
see anything good up there? "
slabbering beaver..but friendly all the same |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It must have liked you, it's usually quite hostile! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It must have liked you, it's usually quite hostile!"
cos its dying to chew on my log... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It must have liked you, it's usually quite hostile!
cos its dying to chew on my log..."
you have a way with words |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hear hear.
A bit symptomatic of modern times though, the ignorance by so many of the basics of social etiquette!  |
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I received 3 messages today, all from guys outside my age limits, asking for a meet today.
1) They were outside my age limits
2) My profile clearly states I do not do last minute meets
So why should I waste 5 minutes of my day replying to them when they didn't waste 5 minutes of their time to read my profile?
If someone can give me a good answer to that, I'll start replying to everyone. Until then, only the ones who fit my criterea and attach a face pic as requested will get a "thanks but no thanks" reply (if I'm not interested of course)
And I don't think that's rude either. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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yes i agree ,i always reply and be polite at all times, sometimes though i think i must come aacross as boring lol, no wonder they do not reply |
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I do say no thank you and then they come back with go on just chat with me .. I find it wearing.. |
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why would he want to ask for a reply from every message he sends even if its a thanks but no thanks ?
I agree its nice if someone does reply with a polite "not for me" reply but thats there choice i wouldnt dream of asking for a reply even if its a no in my initial message |
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Agree completely, theres no excuse for it and while I'm sure some messages are just crap I put time into what I send a girl and I'm always polite and respectful. Its just a flat insult that they can't be bothered to do the same. |
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"No reply is a reply. "
i agree ! often silence can say more than a thousand words ever could |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No reply is a reply. "
Indeed! As far as I'm concerned ignorance is bliss and I'd rather know someone isn't interested cause they don't reply than they reply and potentially say it's cause my arse is too fat or something  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No reply, delete and block.
If that does not signal my lack of interest, then I do not know what does!
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"is it just me that always get's back to guys and say's no thanks if they are not for me, my bf is on here too and he always put please reply even if it's a no thanks but most go unanswered, I think it is a shame some woman think they are too good to reply to messages and don't give me that old line of well I get so many I can't reply to them all, I do get lots and that's why I hide my profile most of the time and only put it up when I want new meets, but I reply to every single one, do they understand how frustrating it is for a guy who see's his message has been unread or deleted. I guess I was just brought up to be polite and as they say good manners cost nothing x"
AT LAST SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS AND IS ON MY WAVELENGTH!!!! THANK YOU! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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no reply means not interested??? does it fuck- I've friends who havent replied to mails even thop I've met them before and even if they have 'read' a mail..I have no hold over them and I'm doing ok with my meets...so i try again at maybe a more suitable time, I feel no need to pester.Take the hump at an noreply mail...then thats a problem.
this I must get my meet with my target is the worst way of swinging...take ur time achieve some patience,,one of my last meets...took me around 4years to get...had I been bombarding them for the four years???..nahh occasional chats here and there...I got the meet, and it was just a drink...maybe I should bombard for a shag....unlikely...I can wait some more, even though I'd rather have some fun asap lol
cant be arsed with blockers either, blocking because ur unlikely to meet?pathetic in my opinion.Block because someones being a cunt, thats my only reason. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"this I must get my meet with my target is the worst way of swinging...take ur time achieve some patience,,one of my last meets...took me around 4years to get...had I been bombarding them for the four years???..nahh occasional chats here and there...I got the meet, and it was just a drink...maybe I should bombard for a shag....unlikely...I can wait some more, even though I'd rather have some fun asap lol"
You should give classes on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"this I must get my meet with my target is the worst way of swinging...take ur time achieve some patience,,one of my last meets...took me around 4years to get...had I been bombarding them for the four years???..nahh occasional chats here and there...I got the meet, and it was just a drink...maybe I should bombard for a shag....unlikely...I can wait some more, even though I'd rather have some fun asap lol
You should give classes on here. "
u'll be a quick meet, nonetheless a good one...thats cos yer a slut!!!! xxxxxxx |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"this I must get my meet with my target is the worst way of swinging...take ur time achieve some patience,,one of my last meets...took me around 4years to get...had I been bombarding them for the four years???..nahh occasional chats here and there...I got the meet, and it was just a drink...maybe I should bombard for a shag....unlikely...I can wait some more, even though I'd rather have some fun asap lol
You should give classes on here.
u'll be a quick meet, nonetheless a good one...thats cos yer a slut!!!! xxxxxxx"
Yep! You notice I replied to YOUR message. Sometimes all it takes is for a person to be actually someone I want to meet! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"this I must get my meet with my target is the worst way of swinging...take ur time achieve some patience,,one of my last meets...took me around 4years to get...had I been bombarding them for the four years???..nahh occasional chats here and there...I got the meet, and it was just a drink...maybe I should bombard for a shag....unlikely...I can wait some more, even though I'd rather have some fun asap lol
You should give classes on here.
u'll be a quick meet, nonetheless a good one...thats cos yer a slut!!!! xxxxxxx
Yep! You notice I replied to YOUR message. Sometimes all it takes is for a person to be actually someone I want to meet!"
liXxX |
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"is it just me that always get's back to guys and say's no thanks if they are not for me, my bf is on here too and he always put please reply even if it's a no thanks but most go unanswered, I think it is a shame some woman think they are too good to reply to messages and don't give me that old line of well I get so many I can't reply to them all, I do get lots and that's why I hide my profile most of the time and only put it up when I want new meets, but I reply to every single one, do they understand how frustrating it is for a guy who see's his message has been unread or deleted. I guess I was just brought up to be polite and as they say good manners cost nothing x"
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Getting back to them can be a double edged sword.. Some are nice and accept.. some start abuse and rudeness at being rejected.Its odd seeing they are the ones that approached ..
They then try make you feel bad. I had one the other day and its made me a bit nervous about replying to people now.(Strange how they can be so rude and then remain on the site despite complaints..)
Go with the way you feel, being polite doesnt harm anyone always good to have manners. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"is it just me that always get's back to guys and say's no thanks if they are not for me, my bf is on here too and he always put please reply even if it's a no thanks but most go unanswered, I think it is a shame some woman think they are too good to reply to messages and don't give me that old line of well I get so many I can't reply to them all, I do get lots and that's why I hide my profile most of the time and only put it up when I want new meets, but I reply to every single one, do they understand how frustrating it is for a guy who see's his message has been unread or deleted. I guess I was just brought up to be polite and as they say good manners cost nothing x"
People don't reply for a multitude of reasons.
1) You haven't read their profile and you do not fit what they are looking for - you being a chancer. That's fine, but don't expect a reply, no matter how pleasant you are in the first place.
2) People don't like replying with "No Thanks" because they then get insulted, abused or rudely responded to in return - because they can't handle rejection. Who wants that?
3) People get far too much mail, and only want to deal with the mail from people they are interested in.
4) You send a very polite mail, you are everything they are looking for, but you have a profile that is lacking in information about yourself, lacking in decent quality photos of yourself, and a profile that is not really worth looking at, let alone worth responding back to - make more of an effort!
5) You have sent a blatant cut and paste message, asking things you could have found out by reading their profile (like do you have msn?) Well.. read our profile then.. That really irks some people. You think that deserves a response?
So, easy 5 reasons why people simply don't respond - not necessarily because manners have gone out the window.
If your not getting responses to mail, then perhaps look at your profile, what it says about you and the effort you put into it. Don't blame others for your lack of responses when you clearly haven't shown effort or bothered reading a profile you are messaging.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"is it just me that always get's back to guys and say's no thanks if they are not for me, my bf is on here too and he always put please reply even if it's a no thanks but most go unanswered, I think it is a shame some woman think they are too good to reply to messages and don't give me that old line of well I get so many I can't reply to them all, I do get lots and that's why I hide my profile most of the time and only put it up when I want new meets, but I reply to every single one, do they understand how frustrating it is for a guy who see's his message has been unread or deleted. I guess I was just brought up to be polite and as they say good manners cost nothing x
People don't reply for a multitude of reasons.
1) You haven't read their profile and you do not fit what they are looking for - you being a chancer. That's fine, but don't expect a reply, no matter how pleasant you are in the first place.
2) People don't like replying with "No Thanks" because they then get insulted, abused or rudely responded to in return - because they can't handle rejection. Who wants that?
3) People get far too much mail, and only want to deal with the mail from people they are interested in.
4) You send a very polite mail, you are everything they are looking for, but you have a profile that is lacking in information about yourself, lacking in decent quality photos of yourself, and a profile that is not really worth looking at, let alone worth responding back to - make more of an effort!
5) You have sent a blatant cut and paste message, asking things you could have found out by reading their profile (like do you have msn?) Well.. read our profile then.. That really irks some people. You think that deserves a response?
So, easy 5 reasons why people simply don't respond - not necessarily because manners have gone out the window.
If your not getting responses to mail, then perhaps look at your profile, what it says about you and the effort you put into it. Don't blame others for your lack of responses when you clearly haven't shown effort or bothered reading a profile you are messaging.
"
best reply ive read on this topic out of the hundreds ive seen |
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[Removed by poster at 02/08/12 16:01:01] |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh God, vincentandamy's post above just reminded me of possible my no. 1 niggle with single guys: The utterly banal twonks who have nothing to say but message you without fail 13 seconds asking how you are. Every sodding day. I know they are just doing it so that they stay on my radar too.
Grrrr |
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"Oh God, vincentandamy's post above just reminded me of possible my no. 1 niggle with single guys: The utterly banal twonks who have nothing to say but message you without fail 13 seconds asking how you are. Every sodding day. I know they are just doing it so that they stay on my radar too.
Grrrr"
Yeah, that too! (Are you looking yet? Are you looking yet?). _ x |
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Oh Sod, just hit delete. -.-' I give up on life, lol. x |
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Unless the person sending the message is an 'obvious nuisance' then there are No Excuses for not replying - it is all about comman decency and that is that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have to admit that I haven't read all the posts here, but my penny's worth is that yes, there is an increase in the number of simply ignorant women here.
Yes I've heard all the stories about hundreds of messages, but there are such things as filters.
And taking a few minutes writing a decent profile would help too! Guys get slagged all the time for writing one line messages, well that's a bit of a pathetic joke when you look at the state of a lot of women's profiles. Often, one line would be an actual improvement!!
The fact is that guys appear to be worse because there's more of us, but I bet the percentages are similar.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The OP is so right. I get either no reply, or abusive replies. Why is this acceptable? I report but what is done? |
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Well I for one will sways read a profile before constructing a thought out message and only the to people whose criteria I think I may meet.
I find it the most disheartening when my message just gets deleted UNREAD!!!
Some of us DO put in the effort to try and make ourselves an attractive prospect, but don't even get a look in due to the mentality of 'quick
Look at pic - nah' *delete*
Please at least read the damn message - you never know what I may have to say may be of interest!!!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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These posts just smack of grown men throwing all their toys out of the pram. Would you rather get a message back saying "hey, I am not interested as you sent me a message that was of no interest to me, I think you're a minger, your profile is terrible, you're a decade out of my age range and your teeth look like a row of condemned houses. Good luck on here though!" ?
No reply is a no, get over it. And for what it's worth if I see someone on the forums feeling like they are absolutely entitled to a reply to whatever shite message they copy and paste to every woman on the site that day I make a mental note to not bother with that person. I've sent messages which haven't been replied to - I am not what they are looking for - fair enough!
If you're not getting replies maybe have a look at yourself and stop blaming everyone else. Are you sending the right message to the right person or are you sending a generic message to anyone you can find in the hope of getting some action?
(and before anyone starts, yeah yeah, I know, every guy who moans puts loooads of effort into reading profiles and writing good messages - I have received messages from a few guys who have moaned about this subject and it's very clear they haven't even read the first line of my profile let alone made an effort with the message!) |
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I reply to most even just to say no thanks. I do think it's the reason why my inbox is not too unmanageable.
But I get frustrated with the ones who are some distance away. I say no thanks I'm looking for local meets and get bombarded with offers to travel and they don't mind...
Until I remind them that I always meet first for coffee. Glasgow (for example) to Yorkshire is a long way for a coffee! |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
wow... this is where I am different from most of the guys who are on the thread.... and funny enough most of them have started topics on this subject...
for me.. a reply is a bonus, not a given right.....
until they reply... i look at everyone post I send as a no.... no expectation...
the thing I don't get is this.... is a "no thank you" better than a no reply.... after all... same result...
what do you want them to say..."no ta... but you keep going champ!!!!"
sometimes silence is worth a million words..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I reply to most even just to say no thanks. I do think it's the reason why my inbox is not too unmanageable.
But I get frustrated with the ones who are some distance away. I say no thanks I'm looking for local meets and get bombarded with offers to travel and they don't mind...
Until I remind them that I always meet first for coffee. Glasgow (for example) to Yorkshire is a long way for a coffee! "
'coffee'= 'sex'....so there! |
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By *win PeaksCouple
over a year ago
Northamptonshire |
My wife has a single profile on here. It states females only, no men. Guess what most of the messages are from? When she answers with a no thanks she gets "come on, your husband doesnt need to know".
So i dont blame the ladies not answering.
Dave |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We always send a reply even if it's a 'Thanks but no thanks' We have found a few guys ignore this and keep sending emails but it's nothing that can't be handled. Maybe it's manageable because we just don't get as many emails as some |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"wow... this is where I am different from most of the guys who are on the thread.... and funny enough most of them have started topics on this subject...
for me.. a reply is a bonus, not a given right.....
until they reply... i look at everyone post I send as a no.... no expectation...
the thing I don't get is this.... is a "no thank you" better than a no reply.... after all... same result...
what do you want them to say..."no ta... but you keep going champ!!!!"
sometimes silence is worth a million words..... "
Sometimes a simple no thanks opens the floodgates to a torrent of abuse. If someone has genuinely read my profile and I'm not interested in them I always reply and say so politely. If it's clear they haven't read my profile I no longer reply, just delete. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I see the OP has taken refuge from messages and hidden her profile ...reply problem sorted!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My wife has a single profile on here. It states females only, no men. Guess what most of the messages are from? When she answers with a no thanks she gets "come on, your husband doesnt need to know".
So i dont blame the ladies not answering.
Dave"
She can set her profile so men can't message her. Much easier that way.
I always reply to mail. Unless I've said sorry I'm not interested and they keep on mailing or asking why not. Then I don't reply as there's no point. |
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By *ovelybumCouple
over a year ago
Tunbridge Wells |
Can someone please tell us what is the polite reply to this:
I want to fuck you both |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can someone please tell us what is the polite reply to this:
I want to fuck you both "
If you like them... "thank you." And start chatting.
If you don't like them... "thank you but sorry you're not our type. Good luck." |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"wow... this is where I am different from most of the guys who are on the thread.... and funny enough most of them have started topics on this subject...
for me.. a reply is a bonus, not a given right.....
until they reply... i look at everyone post I send as a no.... no expectation...
the thing I don't get is this.... is a "no thank you" better than a no reply.... after all... same result...
what do you want them to say..."no ta... but you keep going champ!!!!"
sometimes silence is worth a million words..... "
I disagree with that. Just supposing you were in a pub trying to make conversation with a lady and she just trurned and walked away without a word. How stupid would you feel? How rude would you think she was? Kinda the same thing when your message goes unanswered IMO |
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By *ovelybumCouple
over a year ago
Tunbridge Wells |
"Can someone please tell us what is the polite reply to this:
I want to fuck you both
If you like them... "thank you." And start chatting.
If you don't like them... "thank you but sorry you're not our type. Good luck." "
Should have mentioned that it was from a single guy witch had the reply no thanks once |
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By *win PeaksCouple
over a year ago
Northamptonshire |
"My wife has a single profile on here. It states females only, no men. Guess what most of the messages are from? When she answers with a no thanks she gets "come on, your husband doesnt need to know".
So i dont blame the ladies not answering.
Dave
She can set her profile so men can't message her. Much easier that way.
I always reply to mail. Unless I've said sorry I'm not interested and they keep on mailing or asking why not. Then I don't reply as there's no point.
She delibarately left it open at the beginning to see how many would contact and to see what their behaviour would be like. Unfortunately is was predictable"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I tend to reply depends on the message and the people really though.
I prefer a delete or no thanks though.
A read message is ok and people sometimes like to go through them together which is fair enough but I don't like to send another message in weeks or months time when it's been bulk deleted perhaps.
In the past some have said I should of .. may be too polite,but we'll never please all and if people are really interested they'll get in touch. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"wow... this is where I am different from most of the guys who are on the thread.... and funny enough most of them have started topics on this subject...
for me.. a reply is a bonus, not a given right.....
until they reply... i look at everyone post I send as a no.... no expectation...
the thing I don't get is this.... is a "no thank you" better than a no reply.... after all... same result...
what do you want them to say..."no ta... but you keep going champ!!!!"
sometimes silence is worth a million words.....
I disagree with that. Just supposing you were in a pub trying to make conversation with a lady and she just trurned and walked away without a word. How stupid would you feel? How rude would you think she was? Kinda the same thing when your message goes unanswered IMO"
Fair comment. But it depends on what was said in the message/ in the club.
If the bloke came over and just said 'fancy a fuck' I'd just ignore him and walk off because he was just rude.
If he started a conversation and chatted a bit then of course I would reply even if it was to say thanks but sorry you're not my type.
The problem is that women get tons of mail from blokes. I used to reply to every one but you can literally spend all night doing that and never get to the end of it. By the time you've replied to a load of mail, even more mail has come in.
Many times I'd spend all night replying and not get chance to do anything else. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"wow... this is where I am different from most of the guys who are on the thread.... and funny enough most of them have started topics on this subject...
for me.. a reply is a bonus, not a given right.....
until they reply... i look at everyone post I send as a no.... no expectation...
the thing I don't get is this.... is a "no thank you" better than a no reply.... after all... same result...
what do you want them to say..."no ta... but you keep going champ!!!!"
sometimes silence is worth a million words.....
I disagree with that. Just supposing you were in a pub trying to make conversation with a lady and she just trurned and walked away without a word. How stupid would you feel? How rude would you think she was? Kinda the same thing when your message goes unanswered IMO"
Personally I don't get upwards of 100 men approaching me in a bar shouting obscenities at me without even knowing me so your point doesn't stand. Get over it and bother about the people who do want to speak to you rather than those who don't. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"wow... this is where I am different from most of the guys who are on the thread.... and funny enough most of them have started topics on this subject...
for me.. a reply is a bonus, not a given right.....
until they reply... i look at everyone post I send as a no.... no expectation...
the thing I don't get is this.... is a "no thank you" better than a no reply.... after all... same result...
what do you want them to say..."no ta... but you keep going champ!!!!"
sometimes silence is worth a million words.....
I disagree with that. Just supposing you were in a pub trying to make conversation with a lady and she just trurned and walked away without a word. How stupid would you feel? How rude would you think she was? Kinda the same thing when your message goes unanswered IMO
Personally I don't get upwards of 100 men approaching me in a bar shouting obscenities at me without even knowing me so your point doesn't stand. Get over it and bother about the people who do want to speak to you rather than those who don't."
Im pretty certain that every man on here isnt sending abuse |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"is it just me that always get's back to guys and say's no thanks if they are not for me, my bf is on here too and he always put please reply even if it's a no thanks but most go unanswered, I think it is a shame some woman think they are too good to reply to messages and don't give me that old line of well I get so many I can't reply to them all, I do get lots and that's why I hide my profile most of the time and only put it up when I want new meets, but I reply to every single one, do they understand how frustrating it is for a guy who see's his message has been unread or deleted. I guess I was just brought up to be polite and as they say good manners cost nothing x
Oh please, give it a rest!
I don't get a lot of messages, I could answer every one should I wish, but why should I if they're outwith what I'm looking for?
My profile is specific, if a bi, married, Dom man from Glasgow sends me a message asking to meet, why would I answer when it says I'm seeking a straight, single, sub from London?!!
I think some people on here are so desperate for any kind of attention they answer every one to massage their fragile egos - good for you, but please, spare me the sanctimonious diatribe about "manners costing nothing"
....and breath..."
Couldn't agree more |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"wow... this is where I am different from most of the guys who are on the thread.... and funny enough most of them have started topics on this subject...
for me.. a reply is a bonus, not a given right.....
until they reply... i look at everyone post I send as a no.... no expectation...
the thing I don't get is this.... is a "no thank you" better than a no reply.... after all... same result...
what do you want them to say..."no ta... but you keep going champ!!!!"
sometimes silence is worth a million words.....
I disagree with that. Just supposing you were in a pub trying to make conversation with a lady and she just trurned and walked away without a word. How stupid would you feel? How rude would you think she was? Kinda the same thing when your message goes unanswered IMO
Personally I don't get upwards of 100 men approaching me in a bar shouting obscenities at me without even knowing me so your point doesn't stand. Get over it and bother about the people who do want to speak to you rather than those who don't.
Im pretty certain that every man on here isnt sending abuse"
I never said anything about abuse, I said obscenities. "hey babe want to suck my dick" or "hot 9 inch cock waiting for you" or similar messages are the norm for me. Even the ones that aren't are often still from people who haven't read a word of my profile and care not that I am not interested in them (for whatever reason) - only that they are interested in me. Maybe the reason you're struggling on here is because of your all round negativity - just saying. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"wow... this is where I am different from most of the guys who are on the thread.... and funny enough most of them have started topics on this subject...
for me.. a reply is a bonus, not a given right.....
until they reply... i look at everyone post I send as a no.... no expectation...
the thing I don't get is this.... is a "no thank you" better than a no reply.... after all... same result...
what do you want them to say..."no ta... but you keep going champ!!!!"
sometimes silence is worth a million words.....
I disagree with that. Just supposing you were in a pub trying to make conversation with a lady and she just trurned and walked away without a word. How stupid would you feel? How rude would you think she was? Kinda the same thing when your message goes unanswered IMO
Personally I don't get upwards of 100 men approaching me in a bar shouting obscenities at me without even knowing me so your point doesn't stand. Get over it and bother about the people who do want to speak to you rather than those who don't.
Im pretty certain that every man on here isnt sending abuse
I never said anything about abuse, I said obscenities. "hey babe want to suck my dick" or "hot 9 inch cock waiting for you" or similar messages are the norm for me. Even the ones that aren't are often still from people who haven't read a word of my profile and care not that I am not interested in them (for whatever reason) - only that they are interested in me. Maybe the reason you're struggling on here is because of your all round negativity - just saying."
Ive always been pretty realistic on here. Its just the past couple o weeks Ive become extremely negative to the point of giving up altogether. The odd occasion I do get a reply even if it is a thanks but no thanks it does give you a wee bit hope and encouragement that at least someone is taking the time to read your message and taking a couple of seconds to respond. However, when it looks like mail is just being deleted without even being read then it is pretty demoralising. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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") Sometimes a simple no thanks opens the floodgates to a torrent of abuse. If someone has genuinely read my profile and I'm not interested in them I always reply and say so politely. If it's clear they haven't read my profile I no longer reply, just delete. "
But your profile is well written and makes clear how people should approach you so I would have thought it would attract better responses? I guess there is no defence to the copy / paste merchants.
Personally I very rarely message anyone as most initial contacts are made in the chatrooms although I have had some lovely messages from the Forums. And when I do message I just expect no reply so even a 'No thanks' is a bonus... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oooer ..having now read ALL of this Thread is it me or is there some angst being vented here ?
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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago
In Your Bush |
My view for what it's worth is you have to be selective about who you mail not just random messages. That is more like cold calling and who wants to respond to that? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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")
But your profile is well written and makes clear how people should approach you so I would have thought it would attract better responses? "
Sadly I still attract more than my fair share of challenging single males most of whom are attached in some way or other and generally turn on the abusive charm when I point out politely that I don't meet attached folk!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My view for what it's worth is you have to be selective about who you mail not just random messages. That is more like cold calling and who wants to respond to that?"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My view for what it's worth is you have to be selective about who you mail not just random messages. That is more like cold calling and who wants to respond to that?
"
+1
Sort of what I said earlier but very true. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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")
But your profile is well written and makes clear how people should approach you so I would have thought it would attract better responses?
Sadly I still attract more than my fair share of challenging single males most of whom are attached in some way or other and generally turn on the abusive charm when I point out politely that I don't meet attached folk! "
I was about to be a challenge myself but I am one year out .. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We reply, unless people are rude, crude or just appear not to give a shit ( poor spelling, one line, text speak, or saying "nice tits" and not much else)
We used to reply to everyone but we ended up spending more time explaining to idiots who don't deserve our attention why they don't, than actually talking to people who we would potentially meet. if someone sends a nice message, then of course we would reply,, but we get more messages insulting my partners ability in bed, saying i have a nice rack and tlkn lk dis, than we do nice messages from people, single or not! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If the message you receive is clearly a generic copy of one that's been sent to 100's of others, and there has obviously not been time taken to read your profile, then I think deleting is acceptable. On the other hand, I got very miffed the other day when I wrote to a single fem, with no other intentions than to let her know how pretty she was and that her pictures were outstanding, and it just got deleted, with not even a polite thankyou in reply.. how obnoxious! Being a female myself, I can't understand the rudeness! However.. that is what the block button is for, move on and find a fem that isn't up her own arse Nx |
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I have been swinging a long time and everyone was polite when I started. I onlymessage fems or cpls whose criteria I meet, but yes a lot just delete no reply.
I now block these ignorant people so I too dont waste time inadvertantly messaging them again. The list is now 34 |
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No its not just you.. there are polite people here too.. Tho i do get a little tired of replying with a no thanks just to be abused or questioned about my reasons..
If it is clear they have not read the profile Ie sending cock pics I will just delete |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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")
I was about to be a challenge myself but I am one year out .. "
Bummer! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Each to their own but we reply to every message, even if it's a no. It is disheartening when you get a deleted or no reply but I guess that's the way it goes x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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")
I was about to be a challenge myself but I am one year out ..
Bummer! "
Its OK sorted. Just reduced my age ..  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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")
I was about to be a challenge myself but I am one year out ..
Bummer!
Its OK sorted. Just reduced my age .. "
I increased mine |
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we respect other folks profiles and abide by what they want and state on THEIR profile..
thought that was what it's meant to be about?
we reply to pretty much all responses as we feel its polite to do so...
however some get the response they deserve tbh, if someone is that lacking in basic manners where they send a banal oneliner and they are well out of our criteria etc..
then we respond accordingly..
to expect that fems should spend all their time answering EVERY email is just naive, imho..
sadly the minority spoil it for the majority of single guys, or is that the other way round..
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By *lexaWoman
over a year ago
southampton |
I agree it's rude not to reply. I will usually reply to a guy who has obviously put some effort into his message. I don't reply to those who haven't though. It's also quite annoying that when you say ' thanks but no thanks' most men think of this as a lead to try to start a chat. |
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"I agree it's rude not to reply. I will usually reply to a guy who has obviously put some effort into his message. I don't reply to those who haven't though. It's also quite annoying that when you say ' thanks but no thanks' most men think of this as a lead to try to start a chat. "
ditto,
how some can take 'thanks however we are sorted and good luck etc' as anything other than that ...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"is it just me that always get's back to guys and say's no thanks if they are not for me, my bf is on here too and he always put please reply even if it's a no thanks but most go unanswered, I think it is a shame some woman think they are too good to reply to messages and don't give me that old line of well I get so many I can't reply to them all, I do get lots and that's why I hide my profile most of the time and only put it up when I want new meets, but I reply to every single one, do they understand how frustrating it is for a guy who see's his message has been unread or deleted. I guess I was just brought up to be polite and as they say good manners cost nothing x"
Amen. Well said! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I reply to most even just to say no thanks. I do think it's the reason why my inbox is not too unmanageable.
But I get frustrated with the ones who are some distance away. I say no thanks I'm looking for local meets and get bombarded with offers to travel and they don't mind...
Until I remind them that I always meet first for coffee. Glasgow (for example) to Yorkshire is a long way for a coffee! "
Now they are so annoying and one I clearly stated as to why just came back with another message asking should he come up then? another one said he could come and spend a couple of days but for what reason? If there is no mutual attraction, he will be driving home, and if there is, he won't be coming to mine, think he really didn't read my profile at all |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i think some people are in there own world... its like oh must write to them quick before they vanish of the face of the earth with out reading the profile we have the same problem! but the amount of people who Dont reply even with No thank you... is unbelivable it dont take more then 20 seconds! |
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oh i do receive many msgs try to replay all but sometimes when i say sorry not my type i get nasty replay so i desided to not to replay for the ones im not interested lol x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If there was as much energy and thought put into messages as there is in the gripes about not replying then I'm sure more of us would reply. We don't reply if we don't feel like it, our choice, deal with it and move on!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If there was as much energy and thought put into messages as there is in the gripes about not replying then I'm sure more of us would reply. We don't reply if we don't feel like it, our choice, deal with it and move on!!"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If there was as much energy and thought put into messages as there is in the gripes about not replying then I'm sure more of us would reply. We don't reply if we don't feel like it, our choice, deal with it and move on!!"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I usually always take the time to reply, even to say thanks, but no thanks.
It is manners, and also, if people have taken time to mail you, then I think it's only fair you reply.
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"wow... this is where I am different from most of the guys who are on the thread.... and funny enough most of them have started topics on this subject...
for me.. a reply is a bonus, not a given right.....
until they reply... i look at everyone post I send as a no.... no expectation...
the thing I don't get is this.... is a "no thank you" better than a no reply.... after all... same result...
what do you want them to say..."no ta... but you keep going champ!!!!"
sometimes silence is worth a million words.....
I disagree with that. Just supposing you were in a pub trying to make conversation with a lady and she just trurned and walked away without a word. How stupid would you feel? How rude would you think she was? Kinda the same thing when your message goes unanswered IMO
Personally I don't get upwards of 100 men approaching me in a bar shouting obscenities at me without even knowing me so your point doesn't stand. Get over it and bother about the people who do want to speak to you rather than those who don't.
Im pretty certain that every man on here isnt sending abuse
I never said anything about abuse, I said obscenities. "hey babe want to suck my dick" or "hot 9 inch cock waiting for you" or similar messages are the norm for me. Even the ones that aren't are often still from people who haven't read a word of my profile and care not that I am not interested in them (for whatever reason) - only that they are interested in me. Maybe the reason you're struggling on here is because of your all round negativity - just saying.
Ive always been pretty realistic on here. Its just the past couple o weeks Ive become extremely negative to the point of giving up altogether. The odd occasion I do get a reply even if it is a thanks but no thanks it does give you a wee bit hope and encouragement that at least someone is taking the time to read your message and taking a couple of seconds to respond. However, when it looks like mail is just being deleted without even being read then it is pretty demoralising."
My point exactly! I don't mind a 'no reply' when I see a message has been read. I just make a private note on that person's profile that they weren't interested and move on. But when the message gets deleted and they haven't even had the common decency to open the message - well, what are we supposed to think!
Not ruling isnt rude - not bothering to read a message and deleting it most definitly IS!!
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Tht should have said 'not replying' not 'not ruling' - sodding autocorrect!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry ive been late joining this post, what's been said.....lmao
A reply would be nice!!! |
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"
Not replying isnt rude - not bothering to read a message and deleting it most definitly IS!!
"
Even when the message is so brief that you don't need to open it to read.the content!
I get messages which consist of a full stop, or if I'm really lucky the say hi... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Not replying isnt rude - not bothering to read a message and deleting it most definitly IS!!
Even when the message is so brief that you don't need to open it to read.the content!
I get messages which consist of a full stop, or if I'm really lucky the say hi... "
Or when you look at the profile and find that the sender doesn't remotely match what you're looking for.
I think sending a message to someone when you don't fit their preferences is intentionally wasting their time and is rude. I have no hesitation in deleting, unread, messages from people who don't match what I am seeking.
For example, you would not believe how many messages I get from smokers. *That* is rude.
If someone else said they don't like fat women, or blondes, or white women, I wouldn't message them. I should be afforded the same respect. I'm not. Nearly every day I get dozens of messages from men who do not fit my preferences. So yes, I now tend to simply delete them. I also often block them to stop my time being wasted again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I really don't understand why anyone feels entitled to a reply.
If someone decides to message another person, why should that obligate that person to do anything? They have the right to decide not to reply just the same as the sender of the message had the right to send it. They didn't ask for the message, they had no control over it being sent, and they owe the sender nothing.
To expect one's unsolicited, and possibly unwanted, actions to entitle one to something from someone else is totally unreasonable and unrealistic IMO. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I usually always take the time to reply, even to say thanks, but no thanks.
It is manners, and also, if people have taken time to mail you, then I think it's only fair you reply.
Well said! I wish there was more people on here who thought the same as you!
"
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"
Not replying isnt rude - not bothering to read a message and deleting it most definitly IS!!
Even when the message is so brief that you don't need to open it to read.the content!
I get messages which consist of a full stop, or if I'm really lucky the say hi...
Or when you look at the profile and find that the sender doesn't remotely match what you're looking for.
I think sending a message to someone when you don't fit their preferences is intentionally wasting their time and is rude. I have no hesitation in deleting, unread, messages from people who don't match what I am seeking.
For example, you would not believe how many messages I get from smokers. *That* is rude.
If someone else said they don't like fat women, or blondes, or white women, I wouldn't message them. I should be afforded the same respect. I'm not. Nearly every day I get dozens of messages from men who do not fit my preferences. So yes, I now tend to simply delete them. I also often block them to stop my time being wasted again."
No matter what you say, reading some of the responses from men, the sense of entitlement is staggering.
These men invariably have in their profile "if I contact you reply, even if it's no thanks as we're all here for the same thing"...when we're not!
I had a message: subject "x", text "xx"...now how desperate would I need to be to respond to that? If you sent such a message and you were demoralised by its deletion there's something seriously wrong with you!
A message tailored to me will always get a response. As I read the profile before the message, I'd delete a Shakespearean sonnet if the sender was outwith what I'm looking for.
One man was the polar opposite of what I was looking for, so much so I had to ask him when he read my profile what made him think that only applied to other fellas not him?
He told me to drop my attitude!
As I said: sense of entitlement! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I asked one man, who didn't in any way fit what I am looking for, if he met the preferences described in my profile. He replied 'yes meet all'.
I don't know if he hadn't looked or if he really was that delusional. |
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Oh, just received a message telling me to drop my rules and meet them.
Didn't hesitate deleting without reading! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Of course it is a free escort service. "It's a sex site ffs" and "we're all here for the same thing". |
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Totally agree, same with couples believe it or not xx
By the way, how do you start a new forum? |
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Maybe if peeps read profiles fully before deciding to message then they'd have more replies.. We'll reply to all that seem to have read ours , but why should we reply when they've not bothered to read our profile?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i try to reply to messages but if someome hasnt tried to read my profile i just dont reply
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the problem in being polite is it goes both ways . surely it is polite to bother to read some ones profile before sending a pointless message |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always read a profile before I message anyone on here and dont message that many people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always read a profile before I message anyone on here and dont message that many people. "
lots dont thou  |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Not ruling isnt rude - not bothering to read a message and deleting it most definitly IS!!
"
Blimey, do you sit on your sent box? They may have read it quickly and deleted it before you refreshed for the 20th time.
Seriously, I know sex is awersome and everything, but is it really worth getting annoyed about people not reading yoru messages when they can look at your profiles without you knowing and KNOW before they read your message that you're not for them? |
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By *aturasqCouple
over a year ago
Hertfordshire |
It's rude not to be polite |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Had a couple message me last night.
'You free for a shag now?'
Hidden profile, no photos.
But I replied and said 'Well I am doing nothing right now ..'
No further contact.
So you see it does work the other way round as well. |
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"
Not replying isnt rude - not bothering to read a message and deleting it most definitly IS!!
Even when the message is so brief that you don't need to open it to read.the content!
I get messages which consist of a full stop, or if I'm really lucky the say hi... "
I wouldn't put those the same category! They aren't messages. They are just radar chaff as they are just Attention seeking.
What I mean are messages that have taken time and effort to write.
And yes, I know that someone can look at my profile without me knowing and make the decision to delete the message based on that - if you look, that's what I said!
My argument against this is as follows - what does my message contain? It could be a warning against meeting someone, it could be a compliment, it could be ANYTHING! But to dismiss the message out of hand smacks of a 'holier than thou' attitude.
If you are going to the trouble of looking at a profile before reading a message, just read the message too - I then do not care if it's a no reply or whether you then choose to respond, the Pontus that the effort has been put in.
Women often common on here that most men make no effort with writing their profile and their messages.
Is it any wonder sometimes??
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