FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > What's wrong with my husband
What's wrong with my husband
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It's starting to get really frustrating now. Almost all our messages seem to be targeted only at me and Jason gets left out. Hes kind, caring, generous and I think he's good looking with a great smile and kind eyes. Yet people don't want to know if he's involved. Yes he's a bit plump but he's generous and I love him dearly. He's helped me enjoy some wonderful mmf times and even during our group play he keeps getting left out. He says he doesn't mind but I am starting to feel guilty for enjoying myself while he only gets to please orally then gets sort of pushed out unless he notices me looking at him then he joins in with me. It's not right and not fair. I know it hurts him, he has often said he feels ugly or repulsive but he really isn't. Why are people so uncaring towards such a caring man. Sorry I've had a few drinks and watched him cry over some of the posts tonight. He didn't know I was still awake.  |
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Sorry to hear this.
Maybe you are meeting the wrong kind of people if this is what is happening.
Pleasure is a two way thing as in both of you should get pleasure, not one.
You are a beautiful couple and deserve some proper fun.
Bhubaysi x
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I think you should both step back asking
"what is wrong with my husband?" is starting from a negative and saying
"yes he's a bit plump" is not helpful.
I suggest you step back and when it is possible to meet again make it clear that any meet will involve him at all times.
He'll need to be proactive too.
I have to ask why you're continuing with this if its actually causing him to be so upset. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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its pretty simple, most meets its all about the female. Nobody cares about the guys as long as the female is getting it. Also, what kind of comment is that to make....he is a bit plump, i bet that makes him feel loved. |
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We are still here because we have met some wonderful people. He says it doesn't bother him and we have fun in our mmf but I want to see someone desire him like I do. He's sensitive but tries to hide it sometimes. As far as him being plump I love that about him. He's just perfect like that for me and makes jokes about it to everyone as an earlier poster can confirm as she was part of a wonderful social we had. 
We love this community and he's usually the one on here. I don't like to talk through technology . I prefer face to face.
The people we have played with have been great. Jason just won't do anything without direct permission. He's quite old fashioned that way. I'd just like others to show him interest.
I also wasn't asking what is wrong with him. I just want to know why others can't see him like I do when the contact the both of us but don't want to include him or will just accept him to play with me. We never accept those invitations. We did have one meet where I got ill and he was having fun with the lady . He saw I was in pain and stopped everything even tho I wanted him to continue. He just wanted to get me home. Even made me a pizza and never once complained.
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There doesn't need to be anything wrong with your husband to explain that. It's fairly normal for fab.
I guess you either keep going, knowing that even if he does get attention, the vast majority will be for you.
Or, you take a break. Swinging is meant to be fun. If it's causing that much heartache, is it worth it? |
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"We are still here because we have met some wonderful people. He says it doesn't bother him and we have fun in our mmf but I want to see someone desire him like I do. He's sensitive but tries to hide it sometimes. As far as him being plump I love that about him. He's just perfect like that for me and makes jokes about it to everyone as an earlier poster can confirm as she was part of a wonderful social we had.
We love this community and he's usually the one on here. I don't like to talk through technology . I prefer face to face.
The people we have played with have been great. Jason just won't do anything without direct permission. He's quite old fashioned that way. I'd just like others to show him interest.
I also wasn't asking what is wrong with him. I just want to know why others can't see him like I do when the contact the both of us but don't want to include him or will just accept him to play with me. We never accept those invitations. We did have one meet where I got ill and he was having fun with the lady . He saw I was in pain and stopped everything even tho I wanted him to continue. He just wanted to get me home. Even made me a pizza and never once complained.
"
you were asking what's wrong with him. Its the title of your thread.
My personal opinion is that you should wait until he's able to contribute to this too or at least agree to what you're posting
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" I just want to know why others can't see him like I do
"
Because you have a (I assume) multiple year relationship with him and you know him very well, but to other people he's a stranger.
However much of a lovely person someone is, it's very hard to get that across to strangers and have it be something sexy for them.
Much of the swinging world is superficial, and if that hurts you both there's nothing wrong with taking a step back. Or you can focus on cultivating friendships with other similar couples who feel similarly. You won't be the only person who feels this way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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But others won’t see him like you do , he’s your husband and you’re in love with him ! Yes it’s not nice to see our loved ones get hurt and upset but if what you’re both doing is causing him to feel like that then it’s time to have a break in my opinion |
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I think it's totally about filtering the people better, to ensure that there's full compatibility between all parties. Ensure there's enough communication between you all, so that everyone's going to be involved, active and satisfied. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I took the thread title to be rhetorical.
The problem is that you seem like a really lovely couple. Good people sometimes can't imagine how superficial others can be. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe and it’s just a maybe you need to look after your husband as much as he clearly looks after you.
Best of luck sorting his problems out and if he reads this I’d suggest sir that you open up to your wife.
T |
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Your obviously picking the wrong person/people.
Make it clear in your private messages, that you come as a couple, and your both involved in the play. Take your time getting to know people, their true colours will shine through, one way or another if their genuine.
Too many blokes are just interested in getting their end away, end off. Whether your partner is their or not. I use to be part of a couple last year, and their was no way, we wouldnt have it that the male got ignored, or felt left out. If that happened, i would of called a halt to the meet their and then, and asked
them to leave. As its you and your partner, that are the ones putting yourselves out their, for all to enjoy the sexual tensions/emotions.
Sit back a whioe, reassure your partner, and take your time chatting when you decide to go again.
Like i say, true colours always shine through in the end x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had this problem originally as most men would love to play with my wife but their wives wouldn't want to play. So we make it clear it's both play or nothing.
Since saying that we don't have problems.
It can be frustrating for your husband I can sympathize with but tell him hang in there he will get some fun.
Hope it works out for you both |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Myself. Being a cuckold submissive type it kind of resonated with me this even tho im aware its a very different situation. It is always about C. I'd say a lot of couples are the same. Not that many women are looking for a male in a couple anyway. You guys have great pics
D |
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I agree with Kevin
I have had a quite look at your profile and it is bout what you both like
I would actually put on there you want to meet people and couples for you both and maybe even what your other half finds attractive.
Remember if you don’t ask you don’t get !
I clarify those requests at a social first and only then arrange a meet
J |
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By *OXO2018Couple
over a year ago
Norfolk |
We are a couple we play as a couple with other couples. We wouldn't consider meeting people who only wanted one of us.
If we got to a meet and this became apparent then we would just leave.
If messages are just directed to one of us, we make it clear we are a couple and if they carry on we block them. |
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By *ab jamesMan
over a year ago
ribble valley |
Absolutely nothing wrong with your fella. This is down to your meets rudeness. I think, all that's wrong, is a good chat first, explaining what everyone wants
I had a joint profile, I was sick of guy's asking to meet lady alone. Instant block.  |
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"We are a couple we play as a couple with other couples. We wouldn't consider meeting people who only wanted one of us.
If we got to a meet and this became apparent then we would just leave.
If messages are just directed to one of us, we make it clear we are a couple and if they carry on we block them."
Totally agree with this.
K |
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We think there is nothing wrong with your husband . Whilst women are driven by variety , men are driven by competition or the hunt . To feed this it doesn’t really matter for them whether they compete again and again for the very same woman , the one they love or whether to compete for multiple girls . We believe that once he is in love with a woman he prefers to compete for her only, as the sexual satisfaction is higher than with one time conquests
For you as the lady feeling guilty of being the center of attention - dont! You are there where he wants you to be as you are his goddess. That said ...are you really prepared to see your man playing with someone else ? It can easily feel like being pushed of a pedestal , even if you may never wanted to be on a pedestal in the first place
PS Though one may be tempted to read this as a cuckold - scenario , it is not .
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sadly most men have an any holes a goal attitude whilst most woman need to feel some form of atraction so quite rightly will pick and choose. We have had the same thing a couple of times but it doesn't bother me as i enjoy watching anyway but he really needs to have more confidence in himself and take it with a pinch of salt  |
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By *os19Man
over a year ago
Edmonton |
"It's starting to get really frustrating now. Almost all our messages seem to be targeted only at me and Jason gets left out. Hes kind, caring, generous and I think he's good looking with a great smile and kind eyes. Yet people don't want to know if he's involved. Yes he's a bit plump but he's generous and I love him dearly. He's helped me enjoy some wonderful mmf times and even during our group play he keeps getting left out. He says he doesn't mind but I am starting to feel guilty for enjoying myself while he only gets to please orally then gets sort of pushed out unless he notices me looking at him then he joins in with me. It's not right and not fair. I know it hurts him, he has often said he feels ugly or repulsive but he really isn't. Why are people so uncaring towards such a caring man. Sorry I've had a few drinks and watched him cry over some of the posts tonight. He didn't know I was still awake. "
. It maybe best to perhaps have a couple of socials first get to know the other party and don’t be afraid to make it clear that you come as a couple you play as a couple.As for Jason been a kind caring man well about a week or two ago he started a thread called Depression and suicidal thoughts where he basically came across as someone who would try to be a sort of councillor for your problem which I thought was a kind and caring thing to do.We have exchanged messages and he comes across as a friendly person who you can have a chat with about life , sports , Fabs and get on well with. |
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Good morning everyone. Jason here. I've just woken up to some kind, if confusing, messages. At least until I've just read this.
Rhiannon doesn't drink often and she's never posted here before so I'm a bit shocked
As far as getting pushed out goes, yes it's happened but I have played too. I'm just more about my wife's pleasure. I get my pleasure out of seeing her let go and being happy in the moment. If people are getting carried away then I think that's a good thing.even if I do get sidelined a bit from time to time.
I have self confidence issues and I think she's carried those over into our swinging. We are very selective when it comes to play as I'm not just going to agree to everyone having a go. She's precious to me and my job is to protect her. That's why sometimes I step back during group play. To make sure everyone else is having fun and treating everyone else with respect.
She's made me blush for the first time in a long time with this. As has your responses. 
I think her hangover is going to be punishment enough so I'll run her a bath and cook her a meal then show her her post and see what she says.
Thank you everyone |
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Reading your response Jason, you’ll find this mainly a very supportive community who will be happy to talk things through with you. You haven’t said, but maybe you’re trying to ride two horses in terms of enjoying the cuck side but also wanting sex and attention at the same time?
You can have whatever preferences you like, that’s what’s so liberating, but it could be that you end up giving mixed messages in a group setting where the ladies are not going to be at all sure if you are up for anything or are happiest just watching your partner. |
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"Reading your response Jason, you’ll find this mainly a very supportive community who will be happy to talk things through with you. You haven’t said, but maybe you’re trying to ride two horses in terms of enjoying the cuck side but also wanting sex and attention at the same time?
You can have whatever preferences you like, that’s what’s so liberating, but it could be that you end up giving mixed messages in a group setting where the ladies are not going to be at all sure if you are up for anything or are happiest just watching your partner. "
Thanks for the response and your right, this is a fantastic community here. I definitely not a cuck at all though, I'm just respectful of others when we play. I do get involved and have had lots of fun when everyone plays together. Just it sometimes ends up that I "run" the night lol. I am a pleaser. I get pleasure from making others feel good and seeing the smiles. I was a DJ for years and that's what drove me. Rhi always tries to make sure I'm never left out. She thinks it's more of an issue than it is during play.
It's the messages that get to me though sometimes. Being called ugly on the daily hurts a bit but again it just means that the block list grows and I can keep them away from our play. Still hard not to let it get under my skin tho |
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"Reading your response Jason, you’ll find this mainly a very supportive community who will be happy to talk things through with you. You haven’t said, but maybe you’re trying to ride two horses in terms of enjoying the cuck side but also wanting sex and attention at the same time?
You can have whatever preferences you like, that’s what’s so liberating, but it could be that you end up giving mixed messages in a group setting where the ladies are not going to be at all sure if you are up for anything or are happiest just watching your partner.
Thanks for the response and your right, this is a fantastic community here. I definitely not a cuck at all though, I'm just respectful of others when we play. I do get involved and have had lots of fun when everyone plays together. Just it sometimes ends up that I "run" the night lol. I am a pleaser. I get pleasure from making others feel good and seeing the smiles. I was a DJ for years and that's what drove me. Rhi always tries to make sure I'm never left out. She thinks it's more of an issue than it is during play.
It's the messages that get to me though sometimes. Being called ugly on the daily hurts a bit but again it just means that the block list grows and I can keep them away from our play. Still hard not to let it get under my skin tho"
I’d like to say that I can’t believe people say that in their messages but after some of the insults I’ve received I know it to be true x |
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Re messages Jason, we’ve seen it on some other threads recently, there does seem to be an issue with some fake profiles or basically unpleasant people infecting the site and trolling sadly. Please please please ignore stupid messages like that, no genuine fabbers you’d want to meet behave like that. |
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"Reading your response Jason, you’ll find this mainly a very supportive community who will be happy to talk things through with you. You haven’t said, but maybe you’re trying to ride two horses in terms of enjoying the cuck side but also wanting sex and attention at the same time?
You can have whatever preferences you like, that’s what’s so liberating, but it could be that you end up giving mixed messages in a group setting where the ladies are not going to be at all sure if you are up for anything or are happiest just watching your partner.
Thanks for the response and your right, this is a fantastic community here. I definitely not a cuck at all though, I'm just respectful of others when we play. I do get involved and have had lots of fun when everyone plays together. Just it sometimes ends up that I "run" the night lol. I am a pleaser. I get pleasure from making others feel good and seeing the smiles. I was a DJ for years and that's what drove me. Rhi always tries to make sure I'm never left out. She thinks it's more of an issue than it is during play.
It's the messages that get to me though sometimes. Being called ugly on the daily hurts a bit but again it just means that the block list grows and I can keep them away from our play. Still hard not to let it get under my skin tho"
My personal opinion that you should step back and regroup still stands. It's upsetting you both.
People say this is a caring and understanding community but it clearly isn't big you're getting messages saying you're ugly when you obviously aren't.
How about closing your in box to all messages and take some time to just communicate with those you know to be good people.
If you do get abusive messages report them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This breaks my heart and makes me very very cross.
Maybe a step back would be best. Just for a bit.
I also have a couple profile with my boyfriend of nearly 6 years and we make it VERY VERY clear that we play as a couple if people send us a message on OUR profile.
At a club or party if we are approached and one of us isn't feeling it, as long as the other couple are happy, one of us will join that couple while the other may just watch or go off for a dance etc.
Profiles that look at us and/or send a message which say ''FF play them same couple play'' we always decline if its a private/ at home meet. Always.
We like to call ourselves equal opportunity swingers.
We aren't supermodels or anything but we do look after ourselves and make an effort for our meets.
It's been a while since we've had a couple decline either one of us and want the other one (believe me it happens to the ladies as well!) And I think that's because we are very clear with our guidelines and boundries.
Ignore the vile and obviously uneducated people who are rude and say ''It's just our preference'' block them and concentrate on the people who have met you and the places you both feel comfortable swinging and your natural beauty and friendly personalities will shine through. |
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Thank you everyone for such love. I was an unexpected way to wake up when my inbox went mental with such kind and supportive messages. Rhiannons hangover isn't too bad. She more embarrassed about posting. I'm so glad she did. You guys are amazing ?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thank you everyone for such love. I was an unexpected way to wake up when my inbox went mental with such kind and supportive messages. Rhiannons hangover isn't too bad. She more embarrassed about posting. I'm so glad she did. You guys are amazing ??"
Glad Rhiannon isn't feeling too poorly today, we've all been there! Don't drink and Fab!
It's a wonderful place when you need a pick me up. We're all here for the same reason. We're all different (if we were the same it would be boring)  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just a bit of constructive criticism- you have lots of photos on your your profile which are mainly of Rhiannon- try removing some of those and adding more of Jason. That maybe why you get lots of male attention.
Couples meeting couples is never easy because all 4 of you need some sort of attraction to each other.
Keep at it, you’ll find the perfect couples for you both |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's starting to get really frustrating now. Almost all our messages seem to be targeted only at me and Jason gets left out. Hes kind, caring, generous and I think he's good looking with a great smile and kind eyes. Yet people don't want to know if he's involved. Yes he's a bit plump but he's generous and I love him dearly. He's helped me enjoy some wonderful mmf times and even during our group play he keeps getting left out. He says he doesn't mind but I am starting to feel guilty for enjoying myself while he only gets to please orally then gets sort of pushed out unless he notices me looking at him then he joins in with me. It's not right and not fair. I know it hurts him, he has often said he feels ugly or repulsive but he really isn't. Why are people so uncaring towards such a caring man. Sorry I've had a few drinks and watched him cry over some of the posts tonight. He didn't know I was still awake. "
There's nothing wrong with him he seems a decent bloke tbh, You are complaining he doesn't get involved yet say he only gets involved when you look at him so maybe look at him more if you want him involved..?
Also commenting on his weight when you are not slim is slightly condescending, Maybe this is why he has confidence issues?
I agree with other posters that you should use Covid to take a break then come back when we're all ready.
Sam Xx |
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"It's starting to get really frustrating now. Almost all our messages seem to be targeted only at me and Jason gets left out. Hes kind, caring, generous and I think he's good looking with a great smile and kind eyes. Yet people don't want to know if he's involved. Yes he's a bit plump but he's generous and I love him dearly. He's helped me enjoy some wonderful mmf times and even during our group play he keeps getting left out. He says he doesn't mind but I am starting to feel guilty for enjoying myself while he only gets to please orally then gets sort of pushed out unless he notices me looking at him then he joins in with me. It's not right and not fair. I know it hurts him, he has often said he feels ugly or repulsive but he really isn't. Why are people so uncaring towards such a caring man. Sorry I've had a few drinks and watched him cry over some of the posts tonight. He didn't know I was still awake.
There's nothing wrong with him he seems a decent bloke tbh, You are complaining he doesn't get involved yet say he only gets involved when you look at him so maybe look at him more if you want him involved..?
Also commenting on his weight when you are not slim is slightly condescending, Maybe this is why he has confidence issues?
I agree with other posters that you should use Covid to take a break then come back when we're all ready.
Sam Xx"
Hi guys. Again great responses.
As far as our weight goes we are both chubby and happy with it. Well not happy but accepting of it and working to improve. . Rhi loves my chubbyness and I think she's perfect as she is. She's actually put this in other post as well. I do get involved when the feelings are mutual. I won't push in where the desire isn't there. And I'm ok with that. As far as catching her eye goes it usually becomes a little mmf at that point lol. She enjoys our play and I'm not going to stop that just to interupt. It's why we are here afterall. We both have self confidence issues yes but are happy with each other. What gets to me is the messages. Being called ugly or that its the suppose I can come along if they get to play with rhi is what hurts. We don't entertain those people ever. It's both of us or no one . But it's part of the life. There are more amazing people than idiots here.
We just got to keep being us and we will meet them eventually |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's starting to get really frustrating now. Almost all our messages seem to be targeted only at me and Jason gets left out. Hes kind, caring, generous and I think he's good looking with a great smile and kind eyes. Yet people don't want to know if he's involved. Yes he's a bit plump but he's generous and I love him dearly. He's helped me enjoy some wonderful mmf times and even during our group play he keeps getting left out. He says he doesn't mind but I am starting to feel guilty for enjoying myself while he only gets to please orally then gets sort of pushed out unless he notices me looking at him then he joins in with me. It's not right and not fair. I know it hurts him, he has often said he feels ugly or repulsive but he really isn't. Why are people so uncaring towards such a caring man. Sorry I've had a few drinks and watched him cry over some of the posts tonight. He didn't know I was still awake.
There's nothing wrong with him he seems a decent bloke tbh, You are complaining he doesn't get involved yet say he only gets involved when you look at him so maybe look at him more if you want him involved..?
Also commenting on his weight when you are not slim is slightly condescending, Maybe this is why he has confidence issues?
I agree with other posters that you should use Covid to take a break then come back when we're all ready.
Sam Xx
Hi guys. Again great responses.
As far as our weight goes we are both chubby and happy with it. Well not happy but accepting of it and working to improve. . Rhi loves my chubbyness and I think she's perfect as she is. She's actually put this in other post as well. I do get involved when the feelings are mutual. I won't push in where the desire isn't there. And I'm ok with that. As far as catching her eye goes it usually becomes a little mmf at that point lol. She enjoys our play and I'm not going to stop that just to interupt. It's why we are here afterall. We both have self confidence issues yes but are happy with each other. What gets to me is the messages. Being called ugly or that its the suppose I can come along if they get to play with rhi is what hurts. We don't entertain those people ever. It's both of us or no one . But it's part of the life. There are more amazing people than idiots here.
We just got to keep being us and we will meet them eventually "
Yes but let's be honest she's calling you chubby like she's a size 12 which she isn't. She is obviously calling the play shots so if it's going wrong it's her fault not yours, You're just being directed from what I'm gathering so you cannot be blamed for it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We are still here because we have met some wonderful people. He says it doesn't bother him and we have fun in our mmf but I want to see someone desire him like I do. He's sensitive but tries to hide it sometimes. As far as him being plump I love that about him. He's just perfect like that for me and makes jokes about it to everyone as an earlier poster can confirm as she was part of a wonderful social we had.
We love this community and he's usually the one on here. I don't like to talk through technology . I prefer face to face.
The people we have played with have been great. Jason just won't do anything without direct permission. He's quite old fashioned that way. I'd just like others to show him interest.
I also wasn't asking what is wrong with him. I just want to know why others can't see him like I do when the contact the both of us but don't want to include him or will just accept him to play with me. We never accept those invitations. We did have one meet where I got ill and he was having fun with the lady . He saw I was in pain and stopped everything even tho I wanted him to continue. He just wanted to get me home. Even made me a pizza and never once complained.
"
People will never see him like you. Likewise, people won't see you as he does. Perhaps just stick to clubs where people's characters can come out. |
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"It's starting to get really frustrating now. Almost all our messages seem to be targeted only at me and Jason gets left out. Hes kind, caring, generous and I think he's good looking with a great smile and kind eyes. Yet people don't want to know if he's involved. Yes he's a bit plump but he's generous and I love him dearly. He's helped me enjoy some wonderful mmf times and even during our group play he keeps getting left out. He says he doesn't mind but I am starting to feel guilty for enjoying myself while he only gets to please orally then gets sort of pushed out unless he notices me looking at him then he joins in with me. It's not right and not fair. I know it hurts him, he has often said he feels ugly or repulsive but he really isn't. Why are people so uncaring towards such a caring man. Sorry I've had a few drinks and watched him cry over some of the posts tonight. He didn't know I was still awake.
There's nothing wrong with him he seems a decent bloke tbh, You are complaining he doesn't get involved yet say he only gets involved when you look at him so maybe look at him more if you want him involved..?
Also commenting on his weight when you are not slim is slightly condescending, Maybe this is why he has confidence issues?
I agree with other posters that you should use Covid to take a break then come back when we're all ready.
Sam Xx
Hi guys. Again great responses.
As far as our weight goes we are both chubby and happy with it. Well not happy but accepting of it and working to improve. . Rhi loves my chubbyness and I think she's perfect as she is. She's actually put this in other post as well. I do get involved when the feelings are mutual. I won't push in where the desire isn't there. And I'm ok with that. As far as catching her eye goes it usually becomes a little mmf at that point lol. She enjoys our play and I'm not going to stop that just to interupt. It's why we are here afterall. We both have self confidence issues yes but are happy with each other. What gets to me is the messages. Being called ugly or that its the suppose I can come along if they get to play with rhi is what hurts. We don't entertain those people ever. It's both of us or no one . But it's part of the life. There are more amazing people than idiots here.
We just got to keep being us and we will meet them eventually
Yes but let's be honest she's calling you chubby like she's a size 12 which she isn't. She is obviously calling the play shots so if it's going wrong it's her fault not yours, You're just being directed from what I'm gathering so you cannot be blamed for it"
You have that totally wrong my friend. That was her initial issue. We are a couple, we play as a couple. Yes she has final say on a yes no meet but that's because I respect her. We talk to people as a couple. I am the one mostly online and to first point of contact. I will chat for a while and see if they are nice people then tell rhi all about them. We don't do meet and fuck. Always social unless at a club and even there we have only played with people we have met previously.
She calls me chubby because I am. I call myself fat , for God sake my belly button has its own echo. . She's a bigger girl but saying that dosnt mean I'm disrespecting her or that she's disrespecting me by saying the same about me. We are totally honest with each other.
As far as calling the play shots it's equal. If either of us feel uncomfortable on we arnt into it either of us can Instantly call a stop. We choose who we play with together. That's why a social first it essential
What's "going wrong" isn't her fault. It's no one's. I'm a pleaser, definitely not a cuck. If during play I'm on my own for a bit I don't mind as long as everyone is having a good time. If rhi catches my eye when this happens she will either stop playing with who she is with and come to me or I will go to her and join in.
As I said the problem is with being called ugly in messages. At least for me. Her issue is that she wants more people interested in me so she feels things are equal. They will never be that way unless I look like Jason mamoa. Lol. And if I did I would want her exactly as she is now. I think she's perfect
But I'm ok with that. Ladies will always have the lion's share of attention. That's just the life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's starting to get really frustrating now. Almost all our messages seem to be targeted only at me and Jason gets left out. Hes kind, caring, generous and I think he's good looking with a great smile and kind eyes. Yet people don't want to know if he's involved. Yes he's a bit plump but he's generous and I love him dearly. He's helped me enjoy some wonderful mmf times and even during our group play he keeps getting left out. He says he doesn't mind but I am starting to feel guilty for enjoying myself while he only gets to please orally then gets sort of pushed out unless he notices me looking at him then he joins in with me. It's not right and not fair. I know it hurts him, he has often said he feels ugly or repulsive but he really isn't. Why are people so uncaring towards such a caring man. Sorry I've had a few drinks and watched him cry over some of the posts tonight. He didn't know I was still awake.
There's nothing wrong with him he seems a decent bloke tbh, You are complaining he doesn't get involved yet say he only gets involved when you look at him so maybe look at him more if you want him involved..?
Also commenting on his weight when you are not slim is slightly condescending, Maybe this is why he has confidence issues?
I agree with other posters that you should use Covid to take a break then come back when we're all ready.
Sam Xx
Hi guys. Again great responses.
As far as our weight goes we are both chubby and happy with it. Well not happy but accepting of it and working to improve. . Rhi loves my chubbyness and I think she's perfect as she is. She's actually put this in other post as well. I do get involved when the feelings are mutual. I won't push in where the desire isn't there. And I'm ok with that. As far as catching her eye goes it usually becomes a little mmf at that point lol. She enjoys our play and I'm not going to stop that just to interupt. It's why we are here afterall. We both have self confidence issues yes but are happy with each other. What gets to me is the messages. Being called ugly or that its the suppose I can come along if they get to play with rhi is what hurts. We don't entertain those people ever. It's both of us or no one . But it's part of the life. There are more amazing people than idiots here.
We just got to keep being us and we will meet them eventually
Yes but let's be honest she's calling you chubby like she's a size 12 which she isn't. She is obviously calling the play shots so if it's going wrong it's her fault not yours, You're just being directed from what I'm gathering so you cannot be blamed for it
You have that totally wrong my friend. That was her initial issue. We are a couple, we play as a couple. Yes she has final say on a yes no meet but that's because I respect her. We talk to people as a couple. I am the one mostly online and to first point of contact. I will chat for a while and see if they are nice people then tell rhi all about them. We don't do meet and fuck. Always social unless at a club and even there we have only played with people we have met previously.
She calls me chubby because I am. I call myself fat , for God sake my belly button has its own echo. . She's a bigger girl but saying that dosnt mean I'm disrespecting her or that she's disrespecting me by saying the same about me. We are totally honest with each other.
As far as calling the play shots it's equal. If either of us feel uncomfortable on we arnt into it either of us can Instantly call a stop. We choose who we play with together. That's why a social first it essential
What's "going wrong" isn't her fault. It's no one's. I'm a pleaser, definitely not a cuck. If during play I'm on my own for a bit I don't mind as long as everyone is having a good time. If rhi catches my eye when this happens she will either stop playing with who she is with and come to me or I will go to her and join in.
As I said the problem is with being called ugly in messages. At least for me. Her issue is that she wants more people interested in me so she feels things are equal. They will never be that way unless I look like Jason mamoa. Lol. And if I did I would want her exactly as she is now. I think she's perfect
But I'm ok with that. Ladies will always have the lion's share of attention. That's just the life. "
I think it would be very helpful if Mrs took some better pictures of you. The ones of you are not brilliant shots but there's some exceptional good ones of the Mrs. I think therein lies the problem.You need to equal up the status quo by posing for some saucy pictures yourself. The one of you made up as a scary individual needs to go. You sound like a very nice couple. |
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"We are still here because we have met some wonderful people. He says it doesn't bother him and we have fun in our mmf but I want to see someone desire him like I do. He's sensitive but tries to hide it sometimes. As far as him being plump I love that about him. He's just perfect like that for me and makes jokes about it to everyone as an earlier poster can confirm as she was part of a wonderful social we had.
We love this community and he's usually the one on here. I don't like to talk through technology . I prefer face to face.
The people we have played with have been great. Jason just won't do anything without direct permission. He's quite old fashioned that way. I'd just like others to show him interest.
I also wasn't asking what is wrong with him. I just want to know why others can't see him like I do when the contact the both of us but don't want to include him or will just accept him to play with me. We never accept those invitations. We did have one meet where I got ill and he was having fun with the lady . He saw I was in pain and stopped everything even tho I wanted him to continue. He just wanted to get me home. Even made me a pizza and never once complained.
People will never see him like you. Likewise, people won't see you as he does. Perhaps just stick to clubs where people's characters can come out. "
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"It's starting to get really frustrating now. Almost all our messages seem to be targeted only at me and Jason gets left out. Hes kind, caring, generous and I think he's good looking with a great smile and kind eyes. Yet people don't want to know if he's involved. Yes he's a bit plump but he's generous and I love him dearly. He's helped me enjoy some wonderful mmf times and even during our group play he keeps getting left out. He says he doesn't mind but I am starting to feel guilty for enjoying myself while he only gets to please orally then gets sort of pushed out unless he notices me looking at him then he joins in with me. It's not right and not fair. I know it hurts him, he has often said he feels ugly or repulsive but he really isn't. Why are people so uncaring towards such a caring man. Sorry I've had a few drinks and watched him cry over some of the posts tonight. He didn't know I was still awake.
There's nothing wrong with him he seems a decent bloke tbh, You are complaining he doesn't get involved yet say he only gets involved when you look at him so maybe look at him more if you want him involved..?
Also commenting on his weight when you are not slim is slightly condescending, Maybe this is why he has confidence issues?
I agree with other posters that you should use Covid to take a break then come back when we're all ready.
Sam Xx
Hi guys. Again great responses.
As far as our weight goes we are both chubby and happy with it. Well not happy but accepting of it and working to improve. . Rhi loves my chubbyness and I think she's perfect as she is. She's actually put this in other post as well. I do get involved when the feelings are mutual. I won't push in where the desire isn't there. And I'm ok with that. As far as catching her eye goes it usually becomes a little mmf at that point lol. She enjoys our play and I'm not going to stop that just to interupt. It's why we are here afterall. We both have self confidence issues yes but are happy with each other. What gets to me is the messages. Being called ugly or that its the suppose I can come along if they get to play with rhi is what hurts. We don't entertain those people ever. It's both of us or no one . But it's part of the life. There are more amazing people than idiots here.
We just got to keep being us and we will meet them eventually
Yes but let's be honest she's calling you chubby like she's a size 12 which she isn't. She is obviously calling the play shots so if it's going wrong it's her fault not yours, You're just being directed from what I'm gathering so you cannot be blamed for it
You have that totally wrong my friend. That was her initial issue. We are a couple, we play as a couple. Yes she has final say on a yes no meet but that's because I respect her. We talk to people as a couple. I am the one mostly online and to first point of contact. I will chat for a while and see if they are nice people then tell rhi all about them. We don't do meet and fuck. Always social unless at a club and even there we have only played with people we have met previously.
She calls me chubby because I am. I call myself fat , for God sake my belly button has its own echo. . She's a bigger girl but saying that dosnt mean I'm disrespecting her or that she's disrespecting me by saying the same about me. We are totally honest with each other.
As far as calling the play shots it's equal. If either of us feel uncomfortable on we arnt into it either of us can Instantly call a stop. We choose who we play with together. That's why a social first it essential
What's "going wrong" isn't her fault. It's no one's. I'm a pleaser, definitely not a cuck. If during play I'm on my own for a bit I don't mind as long as everyone is having a good time. If rhi catches my eye when this happens she will either stop playing with who she is with and come to me or I will go to her and join in.
As I said the problem is with being called ugly in messages. At least for me. Her issue is that she wants more people interested in me so she feels things are equal. They will never be that way unless I look like Jason mamoa. Lol. And if I did I would want her exactly as she is now. I think she's perfect
But I'm ok with that. Ladies will always have the lion's share of attention. That's just the life.
I think it would be very helpful if Mrs took some better pictures of you. The ones of you are not brilliant shots but there's some exceptional good ones of the Mrs. I think therein lies the problem.You need to equal up the status quo by posing for some saucy pictures yourself. The one of you made up as a scary individual needs to go. You sound like a very nice couple. "
But zombie me is my favourite pic lol.
Rhi is really photogenic. I got her the photo shoot at Christmas and for the first time she saw herself as I see her. She looked so shocked.
I think just about every picture there is of me is on our profile lol. We have slowly started taking more and will be adding to them .but I definitely get your point. More of me will definitely help. Although I don't know how to pose for saucy lol. Think I'd look more camp. Even that's not actually a bad thing lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That’s so awful that he’s getting left out, I really feel for him but I can assure you that there’s nothing wrong with either of you but everything wrong with people making him feel like that.
Whenever I message couples I always make sure I address to both and try to involve each unless the person I’ve messaged has indicated that it’s only one of them chatting.
Perhaps it might be worth subtlety dropping into the first chats that you’d appreciate both and quickly drop out of chats shot anyone who doesn’t pick up on it. If you’re both looking, it’s not worth your time dealing with people who won’t be happy with you both?
I really hope you both have a better time soon as you both look a really fun couple
Ps I live to zombie makeup one, it’s really creative |
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Nothing at all. The nature and dynamics of fab is to commoditise women as they are far more sort after and fewer in number. A lot of people on here (regardless of what a profile says) try to cheery pick the female half. Its a disrespectful practice (unless profile says otherwise) but common. Also in terms of couples matching its actually quite difficult as a good four-way things with four individuals is actually hard. The key is to grow a thick skin to it and just ignore them who are not interested in you both as a package. Don't get disheartened by it. |
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"It's starting to get really frustrating now. Almost all our messages seem to be targeted only at me and Jason gets left out. Hes kind, caring, generous and I think he's good looking with a great smile and kind eyes. Yet people don't want to know if he's involved. Yes he's a bit plump but he's generous and I love him dearly. He's helped me enjoy some wonderful mmf times and even during our group play he keeps getting left out. He says he doesn't mind but I am starting to feel guilty for enjoying myself while he only gets to please orally then gets sort of pushed out unless he notices me looking at him then he joins in with me. It's not right and not fair. I know it hurts him, he has often said he feels ugly or repulsive but he really isn't. Why are people so uncaring towards such a caring man. Sorry I've had a few drinks and watched him cry over some of the posts tonight. He didn't know I was still awake. "
As to play with others this can be difficult depending on the type of person and nature you have. But can also say a lot about the people your playing with. They may either not be very aware of others and their needs or just they're selfish them self and not good team players. So one aspect is to pick who you play with wisely. Maybe have a good chat with them beforehand and try and gauge if they are going to understand and facilitate Mr's needs or just concentrate on their own fulfilment. Also an improvement on confidence and assertiveness will help to improve the situation for Mr. Plus just to get a better feel for when thing's are right to get involved. This is a skill I have improved during my time on the scene as single and in a couple (Mr). Nice guys can have these qualities too. That's an area only Mr can work on with your help of course. Although I get it can be harder to have confidence after knock backs. But it is a skill that develops though practice, so keep at it. |
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We can relate, the harsh reality is girls on the site can have their pick, and reality is they will chose younger fit lads, and not be as bothered about personality. So as a couple with an age difference it’s likely lads in the couple could be keen on you, but their female partner may prefer a younger or at least the same age playmate |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Shouldn’t take it to heart it’s a shit site they all think they are porn stars unfortunately not beautiful couple beautiful heart cruel trolls I would go back to the 70s today if I could better then had nothing and lovely people do not take any notice horrible world today people send me nasty posts because I won’t meet x love to you both take care x |
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"You've got over 40 verifications praising you as a couple so don't understand the crying bit etc
Good luck though "
Very few of our verifications are from sexual meets. When our regular club was open we were very social there. I let comments in some nasty messages get to me. I'm not ashamed to cry a bit when I'm hurt. Would rather that than take it out on someone who has done nothing wrong |
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"It's starting to get really frustrating now. Almost all our messages seem to be targeted only at me and Jason gets left out. Hes kind, caring, generous and I think he's good looking with a great smile and kind eyes. Yet people don't want to know if he's involved. Yes he's a bit plump but he's generous and I love him dearly. He's helped me enjoy some wonderful mmf times and even during our group play he keeps getting left out. He says he doesn't mind but I am starting to feel guilty for enjoying myself while he only gets to please orally then gets sort of pushed out unless he notices me looking at him then he joins in with me. It's not right and not fair. I know it hurts him, he has often said he feels ugly or repulsive but he really isn't. Why are people so uncaring towards such a caring man. Sorry I've had a few drinks and watched him cry over some of the posts tonight. He didn't know I was still awake.
As to play with others this can be difficult depending on the type of person and nature you have. But can also say a lot about the people your playing with. They may either not be very aware of others and their needs or just they're selfish them self and not good team players. So one aspect is to pick who you play with wisely. Maybe have a good chat with them beforehand and try and gauge if they are going to understand and facilitate Mr's needs or just concentrate on their own fulfilment. Also an improvement on confidence and assertiveness will help to improve the situation for Mr. Plus just to get a better feel for when thing's are right to get involved. This is a skill I have improved during my time on the scene as single and in a couple (Mr). Nice guys can have these qualities too. That's an area only Mr can work on with your help of course. Although I get it can be harder to have confidence after knock backs. But it is a skill that develops though practice, so keep at it."
I'm working on it.
We always have a social first with anytime we do play with. And everyone we have had fun with have been great people. They just get swept up in the moment. As I said it's not that much of an issue to me. It's upset rhi a bit but moreso the messages.
I've never been the most confident of people but still like to have fun. I'm social and definitely not shy but not that assertive. It's hard to put forward bit I guess I'm a little old fashioned lol. |
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I think you are being very sensitive about who messages, a lot of our messages are directed towards me rather than us both, just delete?
To say he feels left out when you are at a meet I don't understand because you are there so are you not interacting with him during a mmf?y husband would never be left alone it because he's my biggest turn on. To say he is plump is the furthest from a confidence boost you can give. Maybe you didn mean it the way it was put but I could never talk about my husband like that. It's difficult because you can't force people to be into someone and sexualy attracted to them.
(To the male)
I'm not sure why you would hang back during a meet tbh as you are there as a couple. It's being there as a couple to enjoy something that turns you on as a couple.
Try to be positive and filter out messages you are not welcoming to and try making your husband feel the attractive sexy man you think he is |
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I would say you are meeting the wrong people. It’s important that you BOTH get pleasure with whom you are playing with and that you BOTH are happy with meets.
Cast the net wider and find the right people.
xx |
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I think the lady has do really well to put up a long post like that if she was that pissed
There’s no way I would be able to write all that if I’d had a few drinks
Something not quite stacking up
I would have thought all the nice comments would be taken on board now and left finally as an end of conversation |
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I noticed on your profile that a lot of the sexyness is coming off of your photos. There are loads of chubby chasers out there including myself that loves to see curves rolls and hangs. It just made me think that maybe your baiting in the wrong kind of people by only showcasing yourself really. You are both very good looking and deserve to be empowered by your bodies not ashamed. I think if you both played with more body positive people and is made to feel sexy then it would be good for his confidence in sex with more than one person |
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Male half of us here, I'm pretty good at spotting whoever is typing to us in a couple as people tend to type differently.
The op to me looks like the same person on each comment rather than different people.
Could be wrong.
Shoot me it whatever.
Joel. |
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"Male half of us here, I'm pretty good at spotting whoever is typing to us in a couple as people tend to type differently.
The op to me looks like the same person on each comment rather than different people.
Could be wrong.
Shoot me it whatever.
Joel."
Bang.......I know this couple and it’s not the same person writing the text....shame on you! |
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"Male half of us here, I'm pretty good at spotting whoever is typing to us in a couple as people tend to type differently.
The op to me looks like the same person on each comment rather than different people.
Could be wrong.
Shoot me it whatever.
Joel.
Bang.......I know this couple and it’s not the same person writing the text....shame on you! "
Hardly shame on me is it? Because you know them doesn't mean anything unless you was stood behind while it was being posted. In which case I would apologize |
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"Male half of us here, I'm pretty good at spotting whoever is typing to us in a couple as people tend to type differently.
The op to me looks like the same person on each comment rather than different people.
Could be wrong.
Shoot me it whatever.
Joel.
Bang.......I know this couple and it’s not the same person writing the text....shame on you!
Hardly shame on me is it? Because you know them doesn't mean anything unless you was stood behind while it was being posted. In which case I would apologize "
Well I know them personally and I know they don’t pretend to be the other one on Fab. They are what is known as ‘genuine’. I’m not apologising to you or anyone else when I know I’m right..... |
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Swinging definitely has its ups and downs. You definitely meet some very nice people through it but sadly there is others that only think of themselves. I have been part of a couple on site and now a single guy so can relate to how hard it is for couples to find people they both get on with. Please don’t give up on swinging tho it’s genuinely a very friendly community. Keep your chin up and bet it will come good for you both o/p |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Male half of us here, I'm pretty good at spotting whoever is typing to us in a couple as people tend to type differently.
The op to me looks like the same person on each comment rather than different people.
Could be wrong.
Shoot me it whatever.
Joel.
Bang.......I know this couple and it’s not the same person writing the text....shame on you!
Hardly shame on me is it? Because you know them doesn't mean anything unless you was stood behind while it was being posted. In which case I would apologize
Well I know them personally and I know they don’t pretend to be the other one on Fab. They are what is known as ‘genuine’. I’m not apologising to you or anyone else when I know I’m right....."
I’m much younger than you , but in my short life... I’ve learned to pick my battles wisely....
This isn’t a battle worth fighting...... |
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"Male half of us here, I'm pretty good at spotting whoever is typing to us in a couple as people tend to type differently.
The op to me looks like the same person on each comment rather than different people.
Could be wrong.
Shoot me it whatever.
Joel.
Bang.......I know this couple and it’s not the same person writing the text....shame on you!
Hardly shame on me is it? Because you know them doesn't mean anything unless you was stood behind while it was being posted. In which case I would apologize
Well I know them personally and I know they don’t pretend to be the other one on Fab. They are what is known as ‘genuine’. I’m not apologising to you or anyone else when I know I’m right.....
I’m much younger than you , but in my short life... I’ve learned to pick my battles wisely....
This isn’t a battle worth fighting......"
Baffled why you mention our age gap? I’m fighting no battles but I know the OP well as a couple and I know they don’t mess about and pretend to be the other to just create a sympathy thread. If you are here just to poke the fire then it’s a waste of your time and mine...’ |
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By *EloveMan
over a year ago
Pool of Life |
I think a few have mentioned already it's the nature of swinging - women rule. They also scrub up better and are easier on the eye ,but it's a relevant debate. I dont play with woman as it will make Em uncomfortable, so no full swing for me, while she loves attention and can be very flirty. I have to become a bit pushy at times (which I dont always like) and our feelings have to be checked and reassessed regular.
You seem like a lovely couple by the way and I'm interested on the gender of these nasty messages as they clearly don't know what they are talking about.
I get it that its harder to be glamorous for a bloke (they say clothes maketh the man) but a bit of creativity maybe to address the photo balance a bit. Oh and the advice for clear wants in profile makes pure sense.
Love the zombie pic 
I'm glad you have each other caring for each other |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Male half of us here, I'm pretty good at spotting whoever is typing to us in a couple as people tend to type differently.
The op to me looks like the same person on each comment rather than different people.
Could be wrong.
Shoot me it whatever.
Joel.
Bang.......I know this couple and it’s not the same person writing the text....shame on you!
Hardly shame on me is it? Because you know them doesn't mean anything unless you was stood behind while it was being posted. In which case I would apologize
Well I know them personally and I know they don’t pretend to be the other one on Fab. They are what is known as ‘genuine’. I’m not apologising to you or anyone else when I know I’m right.....
I’m much younger than you , but in my short life... I’ve learned to pick my battles wisely....
This isn’t a battle worth fighting......
Baffled why you mention our age gap? I’m fighting no battles but I know the OP well as a couple and I know they don’t mess about and pretend to be the other to just create a sympathy thread. If you are here just to poke the fire then it’s a waste of your time and mine...’ "
I actually respect you and enjoy your posts..... I just didn’t want you defending someone blindly... but carry on |
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That's so awful to hear . I'm sure there's nothing wrong with him at all. Women are just in much higher demand on here unfortunately. Obviously not possible at the moment but have you tried clubs? Maybe an event geared towards couples or something? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Male half of us here, I'm pretty good at spotting whoever is typing to us in a couple as people tend to type differently.
The op to me looks like the same person on each comment rather than different people.
Could be wrong.
Shoot me it whatever.
Joel."
You're not the only one that's spotted it, It's also not the first time the OP has done it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I love to get wach you two on cam and give good feed back to husband
Its actully turn on for me usually
Very sexynpictures and you and your husband are sexy
Love to areng skyp or zoom
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I see your hubby is down as bi curious maybe make it clear next meet that you would like to see the two men playing a little before you become involved then everyone will be nicely warmed up and involved |
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"I see your hubby is down as bi curious maybe make it clear next meet that you would like to see the two men playing a little before you become involved then everyone will be nicely warmed up and involved "
How do you know they haven’t already explored that? |
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"I see your hubby is down as bi curious maybe make it clear next meet that you would like to see the two men playing a little before you become involved then everyone will be nicely warmed up and involved
How do you know they haven’t already explored that? "
every comment you make in forum is argumentative |
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"I see your hubby is down as bi curious maybe make it clear next meet that you would like to see the two men playing a little before you become involved then everyone will be nicely warmed up and involved
How do you know they haven’t already explored that? every comment you make in forum is argumentative "
Every comment I make is logical. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"its pretty simple, most meets its all about the female. Nobody cares about the guys as long as the female is getting it. Also, what kind of comment is that to make....he is a bit plump, i bet that makes him feel loved."
this ! |
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"its pretty simple, most meets its all about the female. Nobody cares about the guys as long as the female is getting it. Also, what kind of comment is that to make....he is a bit plump, i bet that makes him feel loved.
this !"
Nobody cares about the guys as long as the female is getting it.... Yep that about sums it up! |
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"its pretty simple, most meets its all about the female. Nobody cares about the guys as long as the female is getting it. Also, what kind of comment is that to make....he is a bit plump, i bet that makes him feel loved.
this !
Nobody cares about the guys as long as the female is getting it.... Yep that about sums it up! "
Not in my case! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As was said above, some time out might be beneficial. Even if you (say) you are happy with how things go during meets, your wife, on your behalf, obviously isn't and that disconnect needs to be addressed, especially if it has caused one or both of you to shed tears.
I've seen similar threads from your profile in the past (although from the male half) so is there an issue or is there not? Take time to step back and figure it out.
And in answer to one of the (female half) OP's points...if you see your other half being left out during meets, remember that it's in your control to set the tone of any meet and how things occur during it. If he is being left out time and time again to the point where it's causing you distress remember, if you don't change things then nothing will change. You must be proactive in this regard. And if keeps on happening then, once again, it's perhaps time to step away and figure out why |
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"its pretty simple, most meets its all about the female. Nobody cares about the guys as long as the female is getting it. Also, what kind of comment is that to make....he is a bit plump, i bet that makes him feel loved.
this !
Nobody cares about the guys as long as the female is getting it.... Yep that about sums it up!
Not in my case! "
Well I wouldn't know. But most of the time in clubs and parties the focus is on giving the ladies the attention, they rarely go out of their way to give guys attention... |
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"its pretty simple, most meets its all about the female. Nobody cares about the guys as long as the female is getting it. Also, what kind of comment is that to make....he is a bit plump, i bet that makes him feel loved.
this !
Nobody cares about the guys as long as the female is getting it.... Yep that about sums it up!
Not in my case!
Well I wouldn't know. But most of the time in clubs and parties the focus is on giving the ladies the attention, they rarely go out of their way to give guys attention... "
Well I’m not like that. Pleasure is two way, not one. |
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"It's starting to get really frustrating now. Almost all our messages seem to be targeted only at me and Jason gets left out. Hes kind, caring, generous and I think he's good looking with a great smile and kind eyes. Yet people don't want to know if he's involved. Yes he's a bit plump but he's generous and I love him dearly. He's helped me enjoy some wonderful mmf times and even during our group play he keeps getting left out. He says he doesn't mind but I am starting to feel guilty for enjoying myself while he only gets to please orally then gets sort of pushed out unless he notices me looking at him then he joins in with me. It's not right and not fair. I know it hurts him, he has often said he feels ugly or repulsive but he really isn't. Why are people so uncaring towards such a caring man. Sorry I've had a few drinks and watched him cry over some of the posts tonight. He didn't know I was still awake. "
It's great that your Mr has facilitated you exploring. But Im not really sure what the sentiment of your post is. If people don't want to play with him are you suggesting they take one for the team? I'm sure he's a lovely fella but if he is being upset by your meets then you probably need to change the way you meet so he isn't upset but enjoys the experiences. Hope you work something out. Swinging is great when it's going well but it's a brutal way to highlight any issues too. So maybe press pause for a bit.
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Your post is lovely in its sentiment and I hope your husband sees it and is proud of it and the love it shows.
Suffice to say that its easy to be a cuntish keyboard warrior on here and it sounds like you've had messages from some of them. |
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"Try a Mff with him see how you go. if he is usually sharing you with another man find out what its like for him ......  "
Good idea.
A woman always gets left out in a mff situation, usually the one familiar to the man...!!! |
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"Try a Mff with him see how you go. if he is usually sharing you with another man find out what its like for him ......
Good idea.
A woman always gets left out in a mff situation, usually the one familiar to the man...!!! "
Not in my experience, I make sure both ladies are having a good time.. |
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May I respectfully suggest that you remove the profile pic of Jason in horror make up immediately, and also the one where you are clutching him to your bosom like a child. Jason could continue as he is, and expect to get the same results, or decide on a personal makeover which might include a tidy beard trim, and a swinging outfit which may be a white open neck shirt and an inexpensive suit. Image is important, and maybe at the moment he is giving off a poor vibe??  |
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"Try a Mff with him see how you go. if he is usually sharing you with another man find out what its like for him ......
Good idea.
A woman always gets left out in a mff situation, usually the one familiar to the man...!!!
Not in my experience, I make sure both ladies are having a good time.. "
I would not know about you but one does get left out as it’s impossible to give them both the same attention. |
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"Try a Mff with him see how you go. if he is usually sharing you with another man find out what its like for him ......
Good idea.
A woman always gets left out in a mff situation, usually the one familiar to the man...!!! "
Think you may find thats because its something new isn't that what couples are looking for if women get jealous over their man paying a lady attention and not you then swinging is not for that couple |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Try a Mff with him see how you go. if he is usually sharing you with another man find out what its like for him ......
Good idea.
A woman always gets left out in a mff situation, usually the one familiar to the man...!!!
Think you may find thats because its something new isn't that what couples are looking for if women get jealous over their man paying a lady attention and not you then swinging is not for that couple "
There's a difference between paying a third party attention (acceptable) and your own partner being left out and cast aside (unacceptable) regardless if it's male or female |
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"Try a Mff with him see how you go. if he is usually sharing you with another man find out what its like for him ......
Good idea.
A woman always gets left out in a mff situation, usually the one familiar to the man...!!!
Think you may find thats because its something new isn't that what couples are looking for if women get jealous over their man paying a lady attention and not you then swinging is not for that couple
There's a difference between paying a third party attention (acceptable) and your own partner being left out and cast aside (unacceptable) regardless if it's male or female "
Totally agree x |
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Sorry meant to also say totally agree but that's not what I meant not the woman getting left out but feeling rejected this is mainly why I stopped playing with couples I either felt like the toy or the lady was left out but I did always try to include her  |
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"Try a Mff with him see how you go. if he is usually sharing you with another man find out what its like for him ......
Good idea.
A woman always gets left out in a mff situation, usually the one familiar to the man...!!!
Think you may find thats because its something new isn't that what couples are looking for if women get jealous over their man paying a lady attention and not you then swinging is not for that couple "
It’s not ‘jealousy’ as such, more that a man can’t physically keep both women happy at the same time, for example he may choose the non familiar female for certain sexual satisfaction and the other will feel left out. Unless the man is an absolute animal one gets left out. It’s not a criticism. |
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"Try a Mff with him see how you go. if he is usually sharing you with another man find out what its like for him ......
Good idea.
A woman always gets left out in a mff situation, usually the one familiar to the man...!!!
Think you may find thats because its something new isn't that what couples are looking for if women get jealous over their man paying a lady attention and not you then swinging is not for that couple
It’s not ‘jealousy’ as such, more that a man can’t physically keep both women happy at the same time, for example he may choose the non familiar female for certain sexual satisfaction and the other will feel left out. Unless the man is an absolute animal one gets left out. It’s not a criticism. "
Think a lot of men on here will disagree they can breathe through their ears remember lol and I know you weren't critiscing just think a lot of situations are different and I do have to agree I have got lost in the moment and haven't really paid attention to what's going on with the other lady its hard to keep track but if a man wants ffm or mfmf then I think they should know how to do it properly xx |
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"Try a Mff with him see how you go. if he is usually sharing you with another man find out what its like for him ......
Good idea.
A woman always gets left out in a mff situation, usually the one familiar to the man...!!!
Think you may find thats because its something new isn't that what couples are looking for if women get jealous over their man paying a lady attention and not you then swinging is not for that couple
It’s not ‘jealousy’ as such, more that a man can’t physically keep both women happy at the same time, for example he may choose the non familiar female for certain sexual satisfaction and the other will feel left out. Unless the man is an absolute animal one gets left out. It’s not a criticism.
Think a lot of men on here will disagree they can breathe through their ears remember lol and I know you weren't critiscing just think a lot of situations are different and I do have to agree I have got lost in the moment and haven't really paid attention to what's going on with the other lady its hard to keep track but if a man wants ffm or mfmf then I think they should know how to do it properly xx "
I totally agree that ALL should agree prior to the event and no one left out but unfortunately people are remiss towards others in these situations. |
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"Reading your response Jason, you’ll find this mainly a very supportive community who will be happy to talk things through with you. You haven’t said, but maybe you’re trying to ride two horses in terms of enjoying the cuck side but also wanting sex and attention at the same time?
You can have whatever preferences you like, that’s what’s so liberating, but it could be that you end up giving mixed messages in a group setting where the ladies are not going to be at all sure if you are up for anything or are happiest just watching your partner.
Thanks for the response and your right, this is a fantastic community here. I definitely not a cuck at all though, I'm just respectful of others when we play. I do get involved and have had lots of fun when everyone plays together. Just it sometimes ends up that I "run" the night lol. I am a pleaser. I get pleasure from making others feel good and seeing the smiles. I was a DJ for years and that's what drove me. Rhi always tries to make sure I'm never left out. She thinks it's more of an issue than it is during play.
It's the messages that get to me though sometimes. Being called ugly on the daily hurts a bit but again it just means that the block list grows and I can keep them away from our play. Still hard not to let it get under my skin tho"
This makes you sound like you'd be an amazing party host! |
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"Reading your response Jason, you’ll find this mainly a very supportive community who will be happy to talk things through with you. You haven’t said, but maybe you’re trying to ride two horses in terms of enjoying the cuck side but also wanting sex and attention at the same time?
You can have whatever preferences you like, that’s what’s so liberating, but it could be that you end up giving mixed messages in a group setting where the ladies are not going to be at all sure if you are up for anything or are happiest just watching your partner.
Thanks for the response and your right, this is a fantastic community here. I definitely not a cuck at all though, I'm just respectful of others when we play. I do get involved and have had lots of fun when everyone plays together. Just it sometimes ends up that I "run" the night lol. I am a pleaser. I get pleasure from making others feel good and seeing the smiles. I was a DJ for years and that's what drove me. Rhi always tries to make sure I'm never left out. She thinks it's more of an issue than it is during play.
It's the messages that get to me though sometimes. Being called ugly on the daily hurts a bit but again it just means that the block list grows and I can keep them away from our play. Still hard not to let it get under my skin tho
This makes you sound like you'd be an amazing party host!"
We try. Only had one at home as it's a small place but when our favourite club was open we tried to help out as hosts |
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Unfortunately males in couples do get pushed to the sides. 1 such experience i had was that the couple we met only really wanted a 3some but couldn't find a women so they messaged our couples account hoping to make it work. 1 of the many reasons we met separately before covid. But as a male half there is a big struggle |
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But over all a lovely ,genuine and relative thread 