FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Here is a tip if your messages aren't answered
Here is a tip if your messages aren't answered
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It's simple, don't look at your sent box. I know it's there, and it's tempting, but don't do it.
Think of it like a lottery - if your numbers are up, you'll get a reply. If not, why worry about why number 27 never came up, or even though they said 6 was their lucky number and I put 6; just don't look.
And what ever you do, don't ask what the winning numbers would have been!
Looking at your sent box is just self flagellation. Stop. Right now
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's simple, don't look at your sent box. I know it's there, and it's tempting, but don't do it.
Think of it like a lottery - if your numbers are up, you'll get a reply. If not, why worry about why number 27 never came up, or even though they said 6 was their lucky number and I put 6; just don't look.
And what ever you do, don't ask what the winning numbers would have been!
Looking at your sent box is just self flagellation. Stop. Right now
"
That's a great tip. It hurts to look sometimes and catalogue all that silent rejection. I'll try and resist. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I check my sent box to see if they have been read or deleted or still waiting. I accept that not everyone I contact is going to be interested so I try to make a mental not of those who haven't replied so I don't contact them again. I do try to answer everyone who contact me.. With the exception of those who even after supposedly reading my profile just say "Hi" or "How's You". Those I delete immediately. |
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Quick question along these lines. If a sent message is not showing as read and they've not shown as looking at your profile. They haven't read your message so they just sit there or if THEY delete does it show to you they have? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Manners cost nothing..... a quick not interested but good luck to the people who sent decent messages is polite ...... obviously fuck all the idiots and rude messages |
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"Quick question along these lines. If a sent message is not showing as read and they've not shown as looking at your profile. They haven't read your message so they just sit there or if THEY delete does it show to you they have? "
But you can read a message , and view a profile in secret.. as in not allow anyone to see if you've viewed their profile can't you ? |
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"Quick question along these lines. If a sent message is not showing as read and they've not shown as looking at your profile. They haven't read your message so they just sit there or if THEY delete does it show to you they have?
But you can read a message , and view a profile in secret.. as in not allow anyone to see if you've viewed their profile can't you ?"
I don't know. Will look. |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Or delete your sent messages....  that's what I do, hate ignorant ppl.simple thx but no thx"
And break any filters you may have in place, possibly get a stream of why not, people trying to change your mind or even abuse? No thanks. If you check the fab faq section it states that no reply means no interest and that it isn't rude. |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Manners cost nothing..... a quick not interested but good luck to the people who sent decent messages is polite ...... obviously fuck all the idiots and rude messages"
Again, And break any filters you may have in place, possibly get a stream of why not, people trying to change your mind or even abuse? No thanks. If you check the fab faq section it states that no reply means no interest and that it isn't rude. |
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"Manners cost nothing..... a quick not interested but good luck to the people who sent decent messages is polite ...... obviously fuck all the idiots and rude messages"
I went through a phase of replying to all messages, even if it was a not interested and good luck. The majority of those ended up sending back abusive/rude messages. Why should I bother sending replies when there is a chance of getting rude messages back  |
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"Manners cost nothing..... a quick not interested but good luck to the people who sent decent messages is polite ...... obviously fuck all the idiots and rude messages
I went through a phase of replying to all messages, even if it was a not interested and good luck. The majority of those ended up sending back abusive/rude messages. Why should I bother sending replies when there is a chance of getting rude messages back "
plus it's super tiring  |
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Whenever you click on someone’s profile there’s an icon at the top to tell you whether or not you’ve them messaged before and if they’ve messaged back. If I see that I have messaged and no reply I just ignore and move on. Simple as that really  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dont understand why people send rude abusive messages if they receive a no thanks or dont reply at the end of the day each to their own women and cples receive hundreds of messages why are they going to reply to each one it woukd be never ending just accept it and move on |
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"Or delete your sent messages.... that's what I do, hate ignorant ppl.simple thx but no thx"
And you send a message saying thanks but no thanks and then get a reply saying that’s a shame ,at what point is it polite to ignore?.
We specify on our profile no single guys, but we still get loads of messages from them, is it not more ignorant of them to have not read our profile first, than for us to ignore the message? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No one is entitled to a reply but it would always be nice to get a No thanks instead instead of a no reply.
Us guys always feel left hanging or left in the dark
Just think of rejection as character building, it only makes s stronger  |
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We always try and be courteous and reply to most messages, however we do get constantly annoyed by the people who message us without reading our profile or send us messages like ‘what are you doing’ or ‘what are you into’ - on that basis should people expect a reply ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's simple, don't look at your sent box. I know it's there, and it's tempting, but don't do it.
Think of it like a lottery - if your numbers are up, you'll get a reply. If not, why worry about why number 27 never came up, or even though they said 6 was their lucky number and I put 6; just don't look.
And what ever you do, don't ask what the winning numbers would have been!
Looking at your sent box is just self flagellation. Stop. Right now
"
I’ve learnt to cope with it now It’s just a fact of FAB life bow gracefully |
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"I rarely send any new messages on here these days
Only Replies
There is actually more chance of winning the lottery than getting a reply off anyone
"
And when you do it makes it that much more satisfying.
Any response is better than no response. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Tried.." no thanks"... then get barage of abusive
Tried "no thank you"... then you get tennis effect of why not
Tried... blocking the person... until they change their profile..
Tried ...ignoring..then get a simple no would have been polite..
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"Tried.." no thanks"... then get barage of abusive
Tried "no thank you"... then you get tennis effect of why not
Tried... blocking the person... until they change their profile..
Tried ...ignoring..then get a simple no would have been polite..
"
This! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Or delete your sent messages.... that's what I do, hate ignorant ppl.simple thx but no thx
And you send a message saying thanks but no thanks and then get a reply saying that’s a shame ,at what point is it polite to ignore?.
We specify on our profile no single guys, but we still get loads of messages from them, is it not more ignorant of them to have not read our profile first, than for us to ignore the message?"
Go to message filters and click block for messages off single guys.
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"Manners cost nothing..... a quick not interested but good luck to the people who sent decent messages is polite ...... obviously fuck all the idiots and rude messages"
You might be surprised at how few polite messages there are.
I used to feel bad about not replying to all polite messages and then I realised at least 70% of those who started off as polite messages that I would reply with a “thanks for your message but I’m not interested” would be met with either abuse or threats or just trying to convince me to change my mind by spamming me with 20/30 messages over several weeks often with the guise of “remember that convo we had a while back.... how are you?”
When my side of the conversation was very obviously stating “I am not interested” |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Manners cost nothing..... a quick not interested but good luck to the people who sent decent messages is polite ...... obviously fuck all the idiots and rude messages
You might be surprised at how few polite messages there are.
I used to feel bad about not replying to all polite messages and then I realised at least 70% of those who started off as polite messages that I would reply with a “thanks for your message but I’m not interested” would be met with either abuse or threats or just trying to convince me to change my mind by spamming me with 20/30 messages over several weeks often with the guise of “remember that convo we had a while back.... how are you?”
When my side of the conversation was very obviously stating “I am not interested” "
Totally this |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"I rarely send any new messages on here these days
Only Replies
There is actually more chance of winning the lottery than getting a reply off anyone
And when you do it makes it that much more satisfying.
Any response is better than no response."
And how would you feel after several hundred no thanks messages? |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"No one is entitled to a reply but it would always be nice to get a No thanks instead instead of a no reply.
Us guys always feel left hanging or left in the dark
Just think of rejection as character building, it only makes s stronger "
You aren't left hanging at all. If you've read the faq section, it's there in black and white, no response, no interest. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think they needs to be a limit on sending messages others get over 500 . Mine never gets though because person has deleted they own account. Needs more work on site to be done.
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"I think they needs to be a limit on sending messages others get over 500 . Mine never gets though because person has deleted they own account. Needs more work on site to be done.
"
It would get through, but would drop to the bottom of the page as new ones come in. If they have deleted their account, there may be other reasons apart from excess messages. What do you suggest needs doing? |
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"Or delete your sent messages.... that's what I do, hate ignorant ppl.simple thx but no thx
And you send a message saying thanks but no thanks and then get a reply saying that’s a shame ,at what point is it polite to ignore?.
We specify on our profile no single guys, but we still get loads of messages from them, is it not more ignorant of them to have not read our profile first, than for us to ignore the message?"
some people, even after you say no thanks, ask why, you give a reason, then they say you misjudged, you reply you haven't, then they say what about this and that, you say again no thanks, then they get abusive.... THEN YOU BLOCK.... better to just ignore I recommend and people have to accept it. I messaged someone three times and he just read and ignored... so I didn't block him, I posted another photo of myself and moved on. plenty fish in the sea |
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"Manners cost nothing..... a quick not interested but good luck to the people who sent decent messages is polite ...... obviously fuck all the idiots and rude messages
I went through a phase of replying to all messages, even if it was a not interested and good luck. The majority of those ended up sending back abusive/rude messages. Why should I bother sending replies when there is a chance of getting rude messages back "
Exactly!! Plus single women get loads of messages a day so replying can be like a full time job |
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"Manners cost nothing..... a quick not interested but good luck to the people who sent decent messages is polite ...... obviously fuck all the idiots and rude messages"
I don’t have the time or inclination to message no thanks to guys I’m not interested in. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sadly, never had so few had it spoilt by so many...
By that, I mean decent guys on here who send polite, respectful messages to people whose profiles they have read and, if a "no thank you" message is received, accept it with good grace and move on.
If you identify with the above statement, as I do, then from forum chatter on here you are clearly in the minority. Celebrate your uniqueness, and walk tall through the valley of ignorance. If it upsets you, find another valley. If you can live with it, you might just be noticed. |
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Thanks to those who stayed on topic!
And to answer the men who want a "no thanks", how does that help?! I may be over estimating, but I think virtually everyone knows how to reply if they want to, so no answer is a no thanks! If you were in a bar, and you offered to buy someone a drink and they said no thanks, you wouldn't want to get into a conversation about why they don't fancy you. It's their loss, move on! |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Thanks to those who stayed on topic!
And to answer the men who want a "no thanks", how does that help?! I may be over estimating, but I think virtually everyone knows how to reply if they want to, so no answer is a no thanks! If you were in a bar, and you offered to buy someone a drink and they said no thanks, you wouldn't want to get into a conversation about why they don't fancy you. It's their loss, move on!"
Very well said, and nice to see you back OP. |
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"Thanks to those who stayed on topic!
And to answer the men who want a "no thanks", how does that help?! I may be over estimating, but I think virtually everyone knows how to reply if they want to, so no answer is a no thanks! If you were in a bar, and you offered to buy someone a drink and they said no thanks, you wouldn't want to get into a conversation about why they don't fancy you. It's their loss, move on!
Very well said, and nice to see you back OP. "
Thank you, that is appreciated |
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