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Full swap and cumming too soon
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We’ve been on here a while now and have had some great MFM threesomes and soft swaps with couples.
We would both like to try a full swap with another couple but the issue is me (MR). I’m petrified that when I start having sex with the other woman, I’ll cum too soon.
Cumming too soon isn’t an issue I have normally but I have noticed during the soft swaps that I’m naturally more excited due to the whole situation and so already know that my concerns are valid.
As a couple, you can stop and start during sex to combat the issue but this obviously isn’t going to work with another couple. After all, they’re meeting another couple for sex and so expect me to perform. I can go again after 20 minutes or so but I can’t expect them to wait around for me.
I can’t really put these concerns on our profile as it’s just going to put couples off meeting us
I can’t be the only guy here with these concerns. Are there any couples here that have had this happen to you? Wether you’re the couple with the same issue or hosted a couple with the issue. Maybe there are some single guys on here that have had this issue when meeting couples?
I really don’t want to disappoint my girlfriend and other couple by cumming too soon so any advice is welcome. If not happy to share in forum then please message us.
Thanks |
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By *issyEMWoman
over a year ago
Nearly |
You arent the only one... Unfortunately a lot of guys can't perform. I have had so so many situations like that and this put me off a bit as swinging as couple my partner always had fun with lady but me unfortunately nothing from her parter. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You arent the only one... Unfortunately a lot of guys can't perform. I have had so so many situations like that and this put me off a bit as swinging as couple my partner always had fun with lady but me unfortunately nothing from her parter. "
Suspect that’s because you’re very attractive!
For us it wouldn’t matter OP - prefer someone to be done after 5 minutes or so rather than whack away for ages. That said, if they can go again then usually find second time takes longer. Wouldn’t let it worry you or it’ll become an issue and prey on your mind. Just find a relaxed couple you both find attractive - an more importantly click with - and sure it’ll be fine and if it happens then you have a connection and they’ll understand x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find this happens to me, being involved in 3sums 4sums is a huge sensory overload and the brain simply can’t handle it on occasion. The anticipation the build up, the actual act, all contribute to excitement levels being so high, one can’t stop oneself from going off like a rocket.
Talk to your potential playmates, outline your anxiety about it. Any decent and understanding people will not be too bothered, maybe even flattered. Anyone taking the piss or telling the world how “he spurted as soon as he was in” is just insensitive and not worth meeting in the first place. |
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We were with a couple and the guy came very quickly. He was embarrassed and tried to hold back but failed which sort it for him which was a shame. As a couple we are mature and experienced enough to know that things like this happen. The guy in question and I lay quietly chatting while Mr N and the guys wife enjoyed themselves. It was no big deal.  Please don't worry or limit yourself because of this |
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"I find this happens to me, being involved in 3sums 4sums is a huge sensory overload and the brain simply can’t handle it on occasion. The anticipation the build up, the actual act, all contribute to excitement levels being so high, one can’t stop oneself from going off like a rocket.
Talk to your potential playmates, outline your anxiety about it. Any decent and understanding people will not be too bothered, maybe even flattered. Anyone taking the piss or telling the world how “he spurted as soon as he was in” is just insensitive and not worth meeting in the first place. "
I agree. Stuff happens during sex that isn't like the movies |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There are sprays and creams you can use and also condoms with a numbing cream inside them that would make you last longer. If nothing else, the placebo effect may be just enough to do the trick. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks everyone for you comments and advice.
I see a few suggestions that I’ll try. I might look into the numbing creams and condoms but I’m I’m almost certain it’s what I’m thinking that is the issue. I need to get to find a way of not getting overly excited which is easier said than done.
Nice to see others in the same predicament and who have experienced this happening before.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It happens mate, and to be honest, it’s a mind thing rather than a body issue. Just relax, enjoy other parts of the meet, the less you stress over it, the more fun you will have.
No man likes to admit they struggled with it, getting it up, or finishing quick.....but it’s a fact and it does happen to everyone ....... it’s how you recover and make sure your lover enjoys the meeting! |
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I have the exact same thought, we have had mfm and I was fine but worried about the same thing on a swap. I think a couple of beers and making sure you’ve had a few social meets with the couple would help |
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We have the opposite. Regardless of how attractive the other lady is it took over a year of swinging and full swaps to even be able to cum. Not sure if it was the condom and not being used to it or maybe just the drink. Who knows.
On the opposite side the other male has cum within 10 mins. Is that quick?.... Not sure as I can cum in that at home sometimes....
As long as the foreplay is great I'm sure everyone will be happy and besides from experience you don't want to be the one still going for half hour whilst the others are watching you... It's even more off putting haha x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally, if you can go again it wouldn't be a problem for me at all. I like teasing and seeing when can I wake it up again. If it doesn't wake up - that's when I'd be disappointed to be fair. |
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"We’ve been on here a while now and have had some great MFM threesomes and soft swaps with couples.
We would both like to try a full swap with another couple but the issue is me (MR). I’m petrified that when I start having sex with the other woman, I’ll cum too soon.
Cumming too soon isn’t an issue I have normally but I have noticed during the soft swaps that I’m naturally more excited due to the whole situation and so already know that my concerns are valid.
As a couple, you can stop and start during sex to combat the issue but this obviously isn’t going to work with another couple. After all, they’re meeting another couple for sex and so expect me to perform. I can go again after 20 minutes or so but I can’t expect them to wait around for me.
I can’t really put these concerns on our profile as it’s just going to put couples off meeting us
I can’t be the only guy here with these concerns. Are there any couples here that have had this happen to you? Wether you’re the couple with the same issue or hosted a couple with the issue. Maybe there are some single guys on here that have had this issue when meeting couples?
I really don’t want to disappoint my girlfriend and other couple by cumming too soon so any advice is welcome. If not happy to share in forum then please message us.
Thanks "
In all honesty, looking at your profile we can’t imagine many men lasting long with your wife ether 
But we do understand where you’re coming from, try to pace your self? We are all adults here and know how our body works, things happen. If you can go for round 2 just have some teasing or oral in between until you’re ready again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You arent the only one... Unfortunately a lot of guys can't perform. I have had so so many situations like that and this put me off a bit as swinging as couple my partner always had fun with lady but me unfortunately nothing from her parter.
Suspect that’s because you’re very attractive!
For us it wouldn’t matter OP - prefer someone to be done after 5 minutes or so rather than whack away for ages. That said, if they can go again then usually find second time takes longer. Wouldn’t let it worry you or it’ll become an issue and prey on your mind. Just find a relaxed couple you both find attractive - an more importantly click with - and sure it’ll be fine and if it happens then you have a connection and they’ll understand x"
F hates guys pounding away for hours whilst she gets bored - loves the thrill of making people cum then getting them hard for a shag. I would suggest get your first cum out the way and then lose your nerves and get shagging |
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"We have the opposite. Regardless of how attractive the other lady is it took over a year of swinging and full swaps to even be able to cum. Not sure if it was the condom and not being used to it or maybe just the drink. Who knows.
On the opposite side the other male has cum within 10 mins. Is that quick?.... Not sure as I can cum in that at home sometimes....
As long as the foreplay is great I'm sure everyone will be happy and besides from experience you don't want to be the one still going for half hour whilst the others are watching you... It's even more off putting haha x"
whilst reaching the destination is great, the journey nearly is always better... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I can imagine the timing of things can be quite critical. If one guy comes quickly but the wife of that guy continues to have fun for a good while longer. "
That wouldn’t bother me as I quite enjoy watching her with another guy |
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When I was here as part of a couple we had this problem just the once, we'd had a social with a relatively new guy who was very pleasant and my partner agreed to a play meet the following week. He turned up on time, tidy and still a very pleasant and attractive guy. My partner and he began to get to know each other on the sofa and she got him to stand in front of her to give him a blow job. She'd barely touched his very respectable cock and off he went! He apologised profusely and said there was no chance of a repeat explaining that he'd been on a high all week in anticipation of the meet.(I should say my partner was a very sexy looking lady and was dressed for the occasion) hence his state of excitement.he'd been in a very vanilla relationship for many years. We both played it down for him.actually trying to reassure him not to worry. It just gave us more time to play together so my partner would get her ration of orgasms for the day... He very rapidly left clearly embarrassed by the whole thing although we didn't think any the worse of him. So op as others have said. don't worry about it as if you've made a good connection most people won't think of you any the worse if you're honest beforehand. Maybe try a little chemical help if you're able and go for it? Good luck! |
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"Personally, if you can go again it wouldn't be a problem for me at all. I like teasing and seeing when can I wake it up again. If it doesn't wake up - that's when I'd be disappointed to be fair."
"F hates guys pounding away for hours whilst she gets bored - loves the thrill of making people cum then getting them hard for a shag. I would suggest get your first cum out the way and then lose your nerves and get shagging"
 There are plenty of ladies like these, OP - sometimes (but not always) I've cum quickly first time, and when it's happened, the ladies have taken it as a compliment that they had such an effect on me...
....only one showed any initial disappointment, but because I was able to go again within a fairly short time and then last much longer, she ended up satisfied and happy! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s all part of the fun of meeting...if you didn’t get super excited then that would be more of a concern, viagra connect are very worth while..cum..go again and have as much fun as you all want! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Tell the other couple that you're worried about cumming quickly - as you can see from this thread, lots of couples would be perfectly fine with it.
There's a temptation for guys to be all "stiff upper lip" but if everyone knows and they want to go ahead with the meet regardless then there's nothing really to worry about and you can just relax and have fun. |
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"It’s all part of the fun of meeting...if you didn’t get super excited then that would be more of a concern, viagra connect are very worth while..cum..go again and have as much fun as you all want! "
Yep, half a 50mg tablet of an evening and I'm ready to go again far quicker than usual. We had a MFF last year and I got my timing wrong and came with our friend. However from just enough experience and confidence in the little blue tablet I was able to laugh it of and within the hour all was good... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It’s all part of the fun of meeting...if you didn’t get super excited then that would be more of a concern, viagra connect are very worth while..cum..go again and have as much fun as you all want! "
Do I need a prescription for these or can anyone get them? |
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"Do I need a prescription for these or can anyone get them?"
Superdrug website. You need a prescription, but they issue it for you after a tiny questionnaire. Don't get connect though, pointless if you're going this way. Get generic 50mg sildenafil and they usually send original branded viagra anyway for vastly less. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You are not the only one having this issue, its a mind over matter thing. All men have this issue and there is a trick that I found useful, as soon as you feel you are about to shoot, shift your thinking to something different but keep the thrust going , try to think about something else, i don't know like the last football match you watched or something, slow the thrust down and let the blood cool down it takes time as your mind is like a muscle, you need to work it out but you will get there with practice. |
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Ah yes I'm aware of the problem as my wife can attest. I myself have the opposite problem that I don't cum at all unless I'm playing with my wife. It has lead to some interesting conversations with women I've been with where they think that a) they don't do anything for me, which is the exact opposite or b) they disappointed because I did not drop a load on them..
As for my wife I do know she's been left disappointed when a guy cums to quickly..to the point where there is no penetration. So yeah it's a concern either way..
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