FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > It's tough being a guy on here
It's tough being a guy on here
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m sure a lot of people like to see someone dressed smartly you’ve got to remember there are a lot of men on this site with the same style photos try and stand out to have more of a chance  two photos really isn’t much hope it helps... good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Doing my best, but there's always someone 20 years younger, with a six pack! Perhaps there's someone for guys in their mid 40s.....?  "
Honestly?
Think this is an often used excuse, I genuinely don't think you do yourself any favours with this kind of post. I'm not being harsh but stop comparing yourself to others and using it as a reason for not getting meets. You are what and who you are. Make the most of that rather than doing this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just write a good message and have good pics. Effort in = Results. If you put no effort you won't get meets" - Every couple and woman who has no idea what it's like to be a man online |
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Oh my...... it’s not hard for guys on here! Don’t expect anything to happen and if it does then bonus, at the same time it’s not instashag - it takes time to develop connections and relationships with people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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At the end of the day, women and couples are looking for something extraordinary.
You can follow the advice everyone gives you to the T, but if you're not extraordinary then there is a very small chance you'll meet anybody.
Once you accept this fact then you'll have a better time on here. |
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By *os19Man
over a year ago
Edmonton |
"Doing my best, but there's always someone 20 years younger, with a six pack! Perhaps there's someone for guys in their mid 40s.....? "
. Give it time you joined at the worst possible time.A quick glance at your profile says you joined 3 months ago which really is not enough time especially now with Covid19 people are maybe and it’s a big maybe are only just now perhaps thinking of meeting.Also you are into BDSM whilst it’s not impossible to find some on this site interested in BDSM perhaps the other site maybe a better bet.The fact that you are a single male who can accommodate I believe gives you a advantage over single males like myself who can’t no matter how genuine our reasons are.Once Covid19 starts to clear up and it maybe worth looking into organised socials and clubs in your area or other areas that you can travel to to meet people and make a connection. |
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"Doing my best, but there's always someone 20 years younger, with a six pack! Perhaps there's someone for guys in their mid 40s.....? "
Not everyone wants 20 year olds, we won’t meet anyone under 40 there’s someone for everyone just be yourself |
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It can be the same for couples, we get a few from people in their 20's and while we don't mind having a chat if they are new to all this the thought of bumping fun bits with a young lady does nothing for Lou x
Ray |
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By *roggMan
over a year ago
haverfordwest |
"Most guys shoot themselves in the foot by incessantly messaging wanting meets. If they were more chilled out and patient they'd probably have more of a chance."
some maybe trying to be friendly and often get blocked for that
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No one should downplay the difficulties of being a straight male on fab but what is true as others have touched on is the age thing. I've seen pleeeeeeenty of profiles who WANT exclusively the older males, 40+
There's always someone for everyone |
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OP I don't think that your age is a barrier.
In my experience the largest demographic on Fab is in their 40s.
However, single guys need to stand out and (I hope) very few people are actually looking to meet at the moment. |
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"One of the things I've noticed is that so many men come across desperate for a shag and it's not an attractive trait 
We'll be honest and say we agree with this "
it's as though they don't care who it is just let me shag you , sympathy fucks are the last kind of meet I'd want |
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"Theres always a lead to each pan sometimes more than one...be patience and good things will come..
Post like this doesn't help you case att all."
how would you know not being meet verified and been on here over a year ?? |
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I prefer men over 40. I am a bit chubby so don't really want a man with a six pack as it would make me feel self-conscious.
For me I prefer a nice opening message not just one or two words that say "hi" or "want to f**k" and something that shows they read my profile.
Single men find it hard on here but so do single women, we get bombarded with loads of messages and quite a few are usually crude |
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Sorry but I have to disagree with a lot of the comments on here!
More effort = less response.
Women seem to hate when a guy, and even a couple put effort into their messages. 9/10 you get responses like "yep" or "sure" after writing a decent opener.
It does seem like its IS "instashag as well. Most women/couples mention that they want to connect and have a social but them message, "want a meet at ours for fun tonight"
This is just our experience anyway! |
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"Sorry but I have to disagree with a lot of the comments on here!
More effort = less response.
Women seem to hate when a guy, and even a couple put effort into their messages. 9/10 you get responses like "yep" or "sure" after writing a decent opener.
It does seem like its IS "instashag as well. Most women/couples mention that they want to connect and have a social but them message, "want a meet at ours for fun tonight"
This is just our experience anyway!"
but isn't this the beauty of fabs ? Something for everyone and as you like it ? |
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By *ady23Woman
over a year ago
Coventry |
"[Removed by poster at 23/08/20 23:09:48]I don't agree that it's hard for everyone , tvts are very much sought after and I've never struggled for meet in my 10 yrs on this site "
That's good to hear it's worked for I only speaking from experience and posts I've viewed. |
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"Girls don't have it easy trust me
Course they do .. pick of the bunch 
No your wrong...... women get hassled more !!"
it's far easier to use the block button than get constant rejections , there I'm speaking up for the straight single men ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Girls don't have it easy trust me
Course they do .. pick of the bunch
No your wrong...... women get hassled more !!it's far easier to use the block button than get constant rejections , there I'm speaking up for the straight single men ! "
That’s what I’m saying, some men and I say ‘some’ don’t bother to read a profile they just message ! |
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"Girls don't have it easy trust me
Course they do .. pick of the bunch
No your wrong...... women get hassled more !!it's far easier to use the block button than get constant rejections , there I'm speaking up for the straight single men !
That’s what I’m saying, some men and I say ‘some’ don’t bother to read a profile they just message ! "
I think we can all agree that it's a given that ppl haven't read the profile before messaging , it's the norm on here |
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"Doing my best, but there's always someone 20 years younger, with a six pack! Perhaps there's someone for guys in their mid 40s.....? "
Just a small point on your profile text; talking about the size of your cock sounds like you’re bragging? And then you say “get to know me, not my dick”? It doesn’t read well my friend |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Age isnt the biggest problem on here.. abusive volatile messages seem to be at the top...
The bombardment of messages when someone says no or doesnt reply is frankly shocking.
(Not all but a good majority.. over 500 blocked so far).
Fab is a place for all.. if you expect..then expect nothing
Good luck op |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Theres always a lead to each pan sometimes more than one...be patience and good things will come..
Post like this doesn't help you case att all.how would you know not being meet verified and been on here over a year ?? "
so?? |
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"Theres always a lead to each pan sometimes more than one...be patience and good things will come..
Post like this doesn't help you case att all.how would you know not being meet verified and been on here over a year ?? so??"
so , how would you know ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Doing my best, but there's always someone 20 years younger, with a six pack! Perhaps there's someone for guys in their mid 40s.....? "
Honestly I think 6 packs might get you a txt ! But after that it’s all about your chat and personality!
I think anyway
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By *erces LetiferMan
over a year ago
Somewhere off the edge of the map... 'ere there be monsters |
Age is not your handicap here. If anything, being mid-40s puts you ahead of any man in his mid-20s in pretty much every single category when it comes to traits that women look for / find attractive in men (generally speaking). |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Doing my best, but there's always someone 20 years younger, with a six pack! Perhaps there's someone for guys in their mid 40s.....?
Not everyone wants 20 year olds, we won’t meet anyone under 40 there’s someone for everyone just be yourself "
Thanks guys |
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"Doing my best, but there's always someone 20 years younger, with a six pack! Perhaps there's someone for guys in their mid 40s.....? "
I think that's a bit of a cop-out or at least a miss understanding of how this all works. Mr here and Yes its tough for single males on here. I've been here as a single male before and in my experience there are plenty of single males 30+ who have totally not got 6 packs who are successful on here. Obviously some people want someone in their 20s with a 6 pack but I'd argue that is rare. To be fair I'd say being 30+ tends to be an advantage on here. The qualities most look for on hear have little to do with the ones you think put you at a disadvantage. For one positivity goes a long way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Doing my best, but there's always someone 20 years younger, with a six pack! Perhaps there's someone for guys in their mid 40s.....?
I think that's a bit of a cop-out or at least a miss understanding of how this all works. Mr here and Yes its tough for single males on here. I've been here as a single male before and in my experience there are plenty of single males 30+ who have totally not got 6 packs who are successful on here. Obviously some people want someone in their 20s with a 6 pack but I'd argue that is rare. To be fair I'd say being 30+ tends to be an advantage on here. The qualities most look for on hear have little to do with the ones you think put you at a disadvantage. For one positivity goes a long way."
Completely! Looks might get you in the door but if you can’t back that up with banter and a good personality it’s hard to stand out ! Fuck 6 packs mate just be you if it doesn’t work move on don’t get caught up in the rejection!!!
We have all suffered it !
Most ain’t worth it ! Swiftly move on |
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You joined at the wrong time OP. Perhaps the Golden Age of Fab/Swinging is behind us but I joined in my mid 40s and did ok... just lots of patience, perseverance and luck...lots of luck... but I have had a lot of great times through here. |
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It is tough being a single bloke on here regardless of the times as there are more men on here than ladies or couples. You have done a couple of things right your profile picture isn’t a cock or an action shot so you would have a higher chance of your message being read. Most of the people I have met have been through clubs which unfortunately none are open currently so possibly go into the chat rooms on here and talk to people there and who knows something might come from it. |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"It is tough being a single bloke on here regardless of the times as there are more men on here than ladies or couples. You have done a couple of things right your profile picture isn’t a cock or an action shot so you would have a higher chance of your message being read. Most of the people I have met have been through clubs which unfortunately none are open currently so possibly go into the chat rooms on here and talk to people there and who knows something might come from it. "
Well said x |
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"It is tough being a single bloke on here regardless of the times as there are more men on here than ladies or couples. You have done a couple of things right your profile picture isn’t a cock or an action shot so you would have a higher chance of your message being read. Most of the people I have met have been through clubs which unfortunately none are open currently so possibly go into the chat rooms on here and talk to people there and who knows something might come from it.
Well said x"
It’s the best thing I could think of given current times |
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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago
Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else |
This site isn't difficult for men directly, but it does take more of a concentrated effort to be successful, which requires more of a time commitment and it can be difficult to fit that into life.
...at least that's been my experience. When I've spent a lot of time on the site, I've found more connections.
Whereas (to oversimplify for effect), ladies can log in for 10 minutes, scan through 100 messages, reply to 2 promising ones and sod off for the next 24 hours |
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