FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Bad exp with couples, any advice would be great :)
Bad exp with couples, any advice would be great :)
Jump to: Newest in thread
 Sorry if im in the wrong section here but any advice would be greatfully received, i really would love to give it another go  | |||
| |||
| |||
"Hi. I used to be part of swinging couple on here and had the same problem. My partner picked the meets to start with and I went along with him. Unfortunately he got the better deal and they guys I met were usually older than the fem and either didn't want to wear condoms as it affected their erection or they just couldn't get hard. I often left the meets frustrated while my partner filled his boots. It caused friction between us and we gave up on the couples thing. I'm not suggesting you do that of course. It just didn't work for us. I think they tip here is to pick the couples together to make sure they are what you are both looking for. If the men aren't able to perform, don't take it to heart and certainly don't blame your self. There are loads of reasons why it happens. As a tip, make sure your partner keeps you involved. Good luck "  | |||
"To cut a long story short, we are a happily married couple who have been on the scene for about 8yrs....we started off with the couple thing but have found that it hasn't worked out for me. Every male to the couple sadly has been a let down and i've been left feeling there is something wrong with me and have taken it quite personally. When it came to sex, the guy was either too busy worrying about what his partner was thinking or he couldnt keep his erection either due to excessive drink or maybe it was just me after all lol. As it happened so many times we decided to just stick with single guys but now that has caused a prob as my hubby is feeling left out. How do i get my confidence back to attempt the couple fun again?? I was only put off cos it happened too many times Sorry if im in the wrong section here but any advice would be greatfully received, i really would love to give it another go "Thats easy, just choose couples that arent really a proper couple but FB's that only meet occasionally. Not that im hinting or owt, nudge nudge, wiink wink lol  | |||
| |||
 | |||
| |||
"However you sort things I hope you have fun fun fun I think that's the best advice,pick the meet together whether it's a man/woman or cpl " | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
 xx | |||
"For a time dont swing spend time on each others needs and get back to being happy having just each other.. when things are normal and your both happy maybe meet a couple or go to a club and see .... just take your time. xx"game,,you are a world of wisdom,,great advice there | |||
| |||
"To cut a long story short, we are a happily married couple who have been on the scene for about 8yrs....we started off with the couple thing but have found that it hasn't worked out for me. Every male to the couple sadly has been a let down and i've been left feeling there is something wrong with me and have taken it quite personally. When it came to sex, the guy was either too busy worrying about what his partner was thinking or he couldnt keep his erection either due to excessive drink or maybe it was just me after all lol. As it happened so many times we decided to just stick with single guys but now that has caused a prob as my hubby is feeling left out. How do i get my confidence back to attempt the couple fun again?? I was only put off cos it happened too many times Sorry if im in the wrong section here but any advice would be greatfully received, i really would love to give it another go "As Perky has already stolen my thunder to some extent (I shall take that up with her later..... Lol!), I will just concentrate on the problem of guys not 'gettin wood' as they say in the US porn industry.
Being very blunt and undeniably callous about it, we are in the VERY fortunate position today of having a LOAD of treatments for all forms of erectile dysfuntion. In short, there is NO excuse for it, and imho as a male half of a swinging couple, you have a 'duty of care' (Ha!) to make sure you can perform for the fem of the other couple. In the last few years I have used both Kamagra obtained over the internet (dodgy I know..) and I now get genuine Viagra from the doc on prescription. My doc is FULLY aware that I am a swinger - has NO problem with it and is happy to prescribe the max number of tabs allowed under NHS rules. The reason is it saves HIM prescribing me anti-depressants!!!
I am much more 'clinical' about the questions I ask couples we chat to and meet to find out for certain that we are a 'match' on all levels - including his ability to keep Perky happy.
The trouble is, we are all at times, so over-keen to get meets, that we let horniness and lust get the better of us and we get into un-fulfilling situations - specially for the fem.
Please... don't let your experiences put you off. Maybe you need to take a step back and look realistically at how you pick the couples you meet. If E.D. has been a problem, then it is one of the first questions I would ask in chat/msn/on phone - get the potential problem out of the way as early as possible basically.
Also, if your guy is picking couples almost solely on whether he fancies the fem, and NOT taking YOUR needs into account, then the two of you need to have a really frank talk about it, don't you........??????
Pork  | |||
i have had so many lovely messages on here and privately and it's makin me feel a bit better about things, I know that not all couples are the same as even the ones we have met have been lubbly jubbly, just seem to struggle in the you know what dept!! Not sure if it's too much drink or nerves or what but all i know is it knocked my confidence for six....my hubby would be there having the time of his life and i would be twiddlin my thumbs hahha......we are goin to start meeting peeps again and see how it goes. We love the social side too and have met the same couples over and over to make us feel at ease but i did get to the point where i was thinking "why am i even bothering?" | |||
| |||
| |||
"guys ... didn't want to wear condoms as it affected their erection " what a utterly lame excuse!!! | |||
"Not sure quite how to put this but here goes...Maybe you need to talk to your husband and reestablish your boundaries...no matter how gorgeous the woman is in any couple we meet, my partner would never just go off and fill his boots without constantly being aware of what is happening with me and if I was being made to feel how you were feeling he wouldn't hesitate to either change the dynamic or call a halt to things-our main aim is enjoyment for all and if anyone was feeling left out it just wouldn't feel right for either of us " +1 spot on! | |||
"Not sure quite how to put this but here goes...Maybe you need to talk to your husband and reestablish your boundaries...no matter how gorgeous the woman is in any couple we meet, my partner would never just go off and fill his boots without constantly being aware of what is happening with me and if I was being made to feel how you were feeling he wouldn't hesitate to either change the dynamic or call a halt to things-our main aim is enjoyment for all and if anyone was feeling left out it just wouldn't feel right for either of us +1 spot on!" | |||
"To cut a long story short, we are a happily married couple who have been on the scene for about 8yrs....we started off with the couple thing but have found that it hasn't worked out for me. Every male to the couple sadly has been a let down and i've been left feeling there is something wrong with me and have taken it quite personally. When it came to sex, the guy was either too busy worrying about what his partner was thinking or he couldnt keep his erection either due to excessive drink or maybe it was just me after all lol. As it happened so many times we decided to just stick with single guys but now that has caused a prob as my hubby is feeling left out. How do i get my confidence back to attempt the couple fun again?? I was only put off cos it happened too many times Sorry if im in the wrong section here but any advice would be greatfully received, i really would love to give it another go "First of all you're not alone in this and if there's one piece of advice it's to cut out the booze! Secondly make sure that ALL parties are happy to play and don't go through with it if not. Perhaps try seperate rooms. I don't understand why hubby is feeling left out during your mmf parties, is it a case of first one plays then the other instead of all together. You may have some other issues that need to be ironed out before you commit to meeting couples or singles again. I can see this is affecting your confidence but don't forget there are other people involved and their actions should be questioned. | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"Not sure quite how to put this but here goes...Maybe you need to talk to your husband and reestablish your boundaries...no matter how gorgeous the woman is in any couple we meet, my partner would never just go off and fill his boots without constantly being aware of what is happening with me and if I was being made to feel how you were feeling he wouldn't hesitate to either change the dynamic or call a halt to things-our main aim is enjoyment for all and if anyone was feeling left out it just wouldn't feel right for either of us " well said, communication is paramount tbh .. you may want to take a break from playing and sort out the issue because no partner should be in the position where they feel left out for whatever reason.. or as Jo rightly says try soft play which can be pretty awesome.. good luck | |||
"Not sure quite how to put this but here goes...Maybe you need to talk to your husband and reestablish your boundaries...no matter how gorgeous the woman is in any couple we meet, my partner would never just go off and fill his boots without constantly being aware of what is happening with me and if I was being made to feel how you were feeling he wouldn't hesitate to either change the dynamic or call a halt to things-our main aim is enjoyment for all and if anyone was feeling left out it just wouldn't feel right for either of us " Totally agree x | |||
I found this thread very informative as I thought I was the only one left feeling dissatisfied,S | |||
| |||
| |||
"guys ... didn't want to wear condoms as it affected their erection what a utterly lame excuse!!!" You may think it's a lame excuse but remember some condoms are designed to delay, that mixed with other factors could easily cause this so but that doesn't make your statement valid | |||
