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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi I'd like a womens point of view, I don't know if u had a look at mine, what's the best way to make your profile more appealings? Ladies help me out |
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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago
Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else |
Suggest taking out the age/height stuff from the start, as it's in the detail lower down anyway.
Personally, I'd remove at least two "deffo"'s, but given your age, it may be more appropriate to put more youth-speak in so that the "deffo"'s look less out of place.
Finally, look at the structure. First paragraph reads like a series of unconnected thoughts, almost as if it was all you could think of at the time. The list looks like it's been dropped in later. You'd be better off taking all that material and putting it into 3 or 4 well-organised paragraphs. |
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