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How to get guys to chat
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We are exploring the hotwife stag/vixen fantasy.
We enjoy guys admiring her pics and giving her encouragement. She lacks confidence showing herself off so any nice friendly encouraging banter helps us progress.
But most guys just don't seem to want to chat/build up and immediately assume 'time waster' if you won't commit to meeting straight away. Even the ones who say they want to chat often have nothing to say then get frustrated quickly. Do any other couple find this?
How can you get guys to appreciate the build up, part of the fun is seducing wives right? I would like to get her camming soon but she just needs a guy with some good fun banter to encourage her and make her feel admired.
Interested in any others experiences/perspectives. |
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You may find your age setting precludes experienced chat up guys like me from communicating with you. I find on group meetings (especially gang bangs) that so many younger guys are so shy and nervous they often cant speak or chat and also cannot get an erection let alone enjoy the moment. Never judge a book by its cover! |
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"We are exploring the hotwife stag/vixen fantasy.
We enjoy guys admiring her pics and giving her encouragement. She lacks confidence showing herself off so any nice friendly encouraging banter helps us progress.
But most guys just don't seem to want to chat/build up and immediately assume 'time waster' if you won't commit to meeting straight away. Even the ones who say they want to chat often have nothing to say then get frustrated quickly. Do any other couple find this?
How can you get guys to appreciate the build up, part of the fun is seducing wives right? I would like to get her camming soon but she just needs a guy with some good fun banter to encourage her and make her feel admired.
Interested in any others experiences/perspectives."
Lovely profile and pics. Now you've put the light on I'm sure you'll have no problem finding chatty guys to enjoy kitty. Sure there are some impatient guys on here who are a little "route 1" but there are plenty of us who appreciate it's a journey and not a sprint to the finish line. Good luck |
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By *ast_jjMan
over a year ago
Dublin and London |
I don't you you can get guys to act a particular way. A guy either respects you both and u understand how you like to explore or he doesn't.
I would suggest maybe blocking guys and searching guys you think might be suited and take it from there.
I have chatted to couples here first, then kik (group chat) and then skype cam. It is one approach that has worked for some of the couples I have ended up meeting.
It allows them both the chance to get to know me and also get to see if we click or not. You will soon find out on a cam call if you are suited or not.
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
We find the same with guys in couples sometimes. Reality is that many guys just don’t understand women, the need for build up. The analogy I like is women are like cooking on electric and men are on gas - full on heat then nothing, whereas women (mostly) build up slowly and equally take a long time to go off the heat.
I also expect what you are offering - come fuck my wife - no disrespect - but rather than anything meaningful, relational or beyond just fucking, attracts the lowest common denominator of men who maybe can’t even attract single women, so not surprised tbh at the responses. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This was our experience too, K needed a lot of encouragement when we first came onto the scene as she thought nobody would give her a second look. (how wrong was she!) We started off posting pictures on another site and found a few guys to chat to which encouraged her and she did enjoy this and it really helped her feel desirable, but when it came to the suggestion of an actual meet then the guys would just disappear or start making excuses, it ended up being such a waste of time really!
After that we came on here and to be honest we don't chat with guys on fabs at all any more unless we've met with them in person, there's just far too many time wasters and most lack any eloquence or ability to say nice or seductive things at all. |
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"We find the same with guys in couples sometimes. Reality is that many guys just don’t understand women, the need for build up. The analogy I like is women are like cooking on electric and men are on gas - full on heat then nothing, whereas women (mostly) build up slowly and equally take a long time to go off the heat.
I also expect what you are offering - come fuck my wife - no disrespect - but rather than anything meaningful, relational or beyond just fucking, attracts the lowest common denominator of men who maybe can’t even attract single women, so not surprised tbh at the responses."
Thats a good point, may need to rethink our approach, basically she aint going near anyone she doesn't fancy at least as much as her husband, and thats gonna be hard |
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"I don't you you can get guys to act a particular way. A guy either respects you both and u understand how you like to explore or he doesn't.
I would suggest maybe blocking guys and searching guys you think might be suited and take it from there.
I have chatted to couples here first, then kik (group chat) and then skype cam. It is one approach that has worked for some of the couples I have ended up meeting.
It allows them both the chance to get to know me and also get to see if we click or not. You will soon find out on a cam call if you are suited or not.
"
May need to consider blocking guys and being more selective |
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By *hav02Man
over a year ago
Glasgow/London |
It's a numbers game, sadly. Plenty of guys, of varying quality. I generally find it harder to find conversational women to build a rapport. But good luck, the more you try, you will succeed. |
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By *lovisMan
over a year ago
Twickenham |
"We are exploring the hotwife stag/vixen fantasy.
We enjoy guys admiring her pics and giving her encouragement. She lacks confidence showing herself off so any nice friendly encouraging banter helps us progress.
But most guys just don't seem to want to chat/build up and immediately assume 'time waster' if you won't commit to meeting straight away. Even the ones who say they want to chat often have nothing to say then get frustrated quickly. Do any other couple find this?
How can you get guys to appreciate the build up, part of the fun is seducing wives right? I would like to get her camming soon but she just needs a guy with some good fun banter to encourage her and make her feel admired.
Interested in any others experiences/perspectives."
Ah - young men - they don't realise that the chase and the flirting plays a large part of it.
An old bull and a young bull were standing at the top of a hill looking at a field of cows.
The young bull was bouncing up and down with excitement- turns to the older bull and says " hey ,why don't we run down the hill to those cows, grab one of them and fuck her"
The older bull says "no - what we are going to do is we are going to walk down the hill and fuck them all..." |
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Isn't there an advice page blokes could use, or have a template for replies to prompt more than 'you look sexy, fancy chatting'
Tip: Don't ask to chat, just chat, show an interest, ask questions, be rude, anything that doesn't send her to sleep!
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By *ast_jjMan
over a year ago
Dublin and London |
"I don't you you can get guys to act a particular way. A guy either respects you both and u understand how you like to explore or he doesn't.
I would suggest maybe blocking guys and searching guys you think might be suited and take it from there.
I have chatted to couples here first, then kik (group chat) and then skype cam. It is one approach that has worked for some of the couples I have ended up meeting.
It allows them both the chance to get to know me and also get to see if we click or not. You will soon find out on a cam call if you are suited or not.
May need to consider blocking guys and being more selective"
looks like it..hope you find the right guy / guys for you both.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We are exploring the hotwife stag/vixen fantasy.
We enjoy guys admiring her pics and giving her encouragement. She lacks confidence showing herself off so any nice friendly encouraging banter helps us progress.
But most guys just don't seem to want to chat/build up and immediately assume 'time waster' if you won't commit to meeting straight away. Even the ones who say they want to chat often have nothing to say then get frustrated quickly. Do any other couple find this?
How can you get guys to appreciate the build up, part of the fun is seducing wives right? I would like to get her camming soon but she just needs a guy with some good fun banter to encourage her and make her feel admired.
Interested in any others experiences/perspectives."
I chat and then find the male in the couple just wants me to tell him who I have had sex with. Usually so they can message them and hope they get some “action” from it. Thinking that the couple are a sure thing. Your other half looks lovely, you are 190 miles away from me. So if you read my profile and want to still chat, that’s up to you. We may never meet, but then again until we chat and find each other’s interests we never will. I am Bi and no real pictures of what would attract me to the man, your wife has attracted me definitely, what about Mr  |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
I talk to people that’s not an issue - for me it’s going from talking to playing is the issue, I suppose now it easier as we are not meeting for play but when we were I Enver wanted to ask in case I offended someone |
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"We are exploring the hotwife stag/vixen fantasy.
We enjoy guys admiring her pics and giving her encouragement. She lacks confidence showing herself off so any nice friendly encouraging banter helps us progress.
But most guys just don't seem to want to chat/build up and immediately assume 'time waster' if you won't commit to meeting straight away. Even the ones who say they want to chat often have nothing to say then get frustrated quickly. Do any other couple find this?
How can you get guys to appreciate the build up, part of the fun is seducing wives right? I would like to get her camming soon but she just needs a guy with some good fun banter to encourage her and make her feel admired.
Interested in any others experiences/perspectives."
Most of the couples I’ve approached I usually send a detailed message if the profile gives me something to go off, only to receive a response of a single sentence which can be frustrating e.g. “hey you ok”.
Though saying that I’ve been speaking to one couple for a few months now and the conversation just flows naturally so it works both ways in my opinion.
Im always happy to chat whether in general or sexually, build a connection and if there’s a spark there’s a spark. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We are exploring the hotwife stag/vixen fantasy.
We enjoy guys admiring her pics and giving her encouragement. She lacks confidence showing herself off so any nice friendly encouraging banter helps us progress.
But most guys just don't seem to want to chat/build up and immediately assume 'time waster' if you won't commit to meeting straight away. Even the ones who say they want to chat often have nothing to say then get frustrated quickly. Do any other couple find this?
How can you get guys to appreciate the build up, part of the fun is seducing wives right? I would like to get her camming soon but she just needs a guy with some good fun banter to encourage her and make her feel admired.
Interested in any others experiences/perspectives."
Maybe I am a little strange for a guy, I like the chat and build up, it allows a friendship to develop and that then makes a meet less frosty and awkward... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find the exact same thing but in the other direction!
I always want the chat/build up/connection before meeting but lost count of the number of couple's that are not interested in that. Some see so many guys and just want someone to use now. Not for me! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Maybe I am a little strange for a guy, I like the chat and build up, it allows a friendship to develop and that then makes a meet less frosty and awkward..."
From experience we can say that you're style is uncommon compared to many on here as you sent us polite and well written messages addressed to both of us and didn't get upset to speak to either of us, which led to.... well, you know  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Maybe I am a little strange for a guy, I like the chat and build up, it allows a friendship to develop and that then makes a meet less frosty and awkward...
From experience we can say that you're style is uncommon compared to many on here as you sent us polite and well written messages addressed to both of us and didn't get upset to speak to either of us, which led to.... well, you know "
Why thank you Xxx I know only too well where it led to and most enjoyable everytime, just looking forward to catching up again when some more normality resumes... Xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We are exploring the hotwife stag/vixen fantasy.
We enjoy guys admiring her pics and giving her encouragement. She lacks confidence showing herself off so any nice friendly encouraging banter helps us progress.
But most guys just don't seem to want to chat/build up and immediately assume 'time waster' if you won't commit to meeting straight away. Even the ones who say they want to chat often have nothing to say then get frustrated quickly. Do any other couple find this?
How can you get guys to appreciate the build up, part of the fun is seducing wives right? I would like to get her camming soon but she just needs a guy with some good fun banter to encourage her and make her feel admired.
Interested in any others experiences/perspectives."
In my experience the people I've met here or at clubs I've met or played with because the conversation and chemistry just flows from the beginning, If it doesn't just move on |
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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago
Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else |
The further problem is that some couples just don't recognise that being wooed is still a two way process.
It's tough to flirt if the response is always "lol, ty" or something equally conversation-killing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The further problem is that some couples just don't recognise that being wooed is still a two way process.
It's tough to flirt if the response is always "lol, ty" or something equally conversation-killing."
Absolutely! Amazing how many people do this. I have taken that to mean they are not interested but are trying to be polite |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The build up and chatting are all part of the fun. I do though find it easier to chat on the phone, I find it a lot more natural then exchanging messages and much easier for personality's to start coming out. I think thats why I've always enjoyed meeting in a club and then staying in touch afterwards the best way. At the moment this feels like a bit of a catch 22 situation. |
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"We are exploring the hotwife stag/vixen fantasy.
We enjoy guys admiring her pics and giving her encouragement. She lacks confidence showing herself off so any nice friendly encouraging banter helps us progress.
But most guys just don't seem to want to chat/build up and immediately assume 'time waster' if you won't commit to meeting straight away. Even the ones who say they want to chat often have nothing to say then get frustrated quickly. Do any other couple find this?
How can you get guys to appreciate the build up, part of the fun is seducing wives right? I would like to get her camming soon but she just needs a guy with some good fun banter to encourage her and make her feel admired.
Interested in any others experiences/perspectives.
In my experience the people I've met here or at clubs I've met or played with because the conversation and chemistry just flows from the beginning, If it doesn't just move on "
I agree! You know within the first 5 minutes of meeting someone new, whether you’re going to get on, which is why I ask for a social meet before a play date is agreed, and a phone call as a first step with people from further away. Chatting online I find no different; if the conversation flows, run with it, if you feel like you’re pulling teeth, just move on.
I’ve not chosen the best times to visit clubs as a single guy, so it’s no surprise I’ve found it difficult to get any conversations going with couples while there. I usually give it a couple of hours before leaving though. |
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"We are exploring the hotwife stag/vixen fantasy.
We enjoy guys admiring her pics and giving her encouragement. She lacks confidence showing herself off so any nice friendly encouraging banter helps us progress.
But most guys just don't seem to want to chat/build up and immediately assume 'time waster' if you won't commit to meeting straight away. Even the ones who say they want to chat often have nothing to say then get frustrated quickly. Do any other couple find this?
How can you get guys to appreciate the build up, part of the fun is seducing wives right? I would like to get her camming soon but she just needs a guy with some good fun banter to encourage her and make her feel admired.
Interested in any others experiences/perspectives."
Just keep on doing it your way. If a guy is no prepared to chat and get to know you both it is their loss not yours. |
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"We are exploring the hotwife stag/vixen fantasy.
We enjoy guys admiring her pics and giving her encouragement. She lacks confidence showing herself off so any nice friendly encouraging banter helps us progress.
But most guys just don't seem to want to chat/build up and immediately assume 'time waster' if you won't commit to meeting straight away. Even the ones who say they want to chat often have nothing to say then get frustrated quickly. Do any other couple find this?
How can you get guys to appreciate the build up, part of the fun is seducing wives right? I would like to get her camming soon but she just needs a guy with some good fun banter to encourage her and make her feel admired.
Interested in any others experiences/perspectives."
Absolutely agree. The chat is part of the fun for me too. Love to flirt and share sexy fantasies before and during a meeting, particularly when I know the couple get turned on by it  |
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Isn't the biggest part of the hotwife scenario mental anyway?
I've been lucky enough to have formed relationships of this kind in the past and it's great when it works, but like with a friendships it takes time to develop. |
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