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The fabswingers guide to getting laid.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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After reading countless threads saying can't get a meet I thought I'd take it upon myself to write a guide!
First thing you need is patience.....on this site it's the women in charge seeing they are in the minority and then its the couples. If you're a single guy unless you are Brad Pitt you will not meet anyone first night.
Second thing is an interesting profile that sells you. Up to you how much info you say about yourself on it as being honest can lose you potential meets but being a barefaced liar will lose you more. Let your personality shine through and try not to be too self absorbed about how good you are.
Third thing is a willingness to get stuck in. You will get out what you put in. Try not to copy and paste messages, make sure you read the profile and center your messages around what you have read. You will get knocked back a few times or have people who won't answer back just move on to the next. Take part in the discussions on the forum, attend a few clubs or socials and go into the chatrooms.
People like positive people so dont be negative or whiney either in your posts, profile or status. Unless you're quasimodo or have a personality of a dead fish you're more then likely to get a meet eventually.
 |
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If only all the men actually read this! I am sooo fed up of copy and paste messages. And of whingers on the forum complaining about not getting meets! It makes me whinge and that is not becoming of a lady!  |
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By *njamesMan
over a year ago
Swindon |
Some very good (but simple) advice, however some people are natural whingers and actually enjoy moaning, some come on here moaning about the lack of meets and responses to messages and expecting someone to take pity and ask them to meet or get invites. |
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"Some very good (but simple) advice, however some people are natural whingers and actually enjoy moaning, some come on here moaning about the lack of meets and responses to messages and expecting someone to take pity and ask them to meet or get invites."
 True, but doesn't make it any less irritating! |
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By *njamesMan
over a year ago
Swindon |
"Some very good (but simple) advice, however some people are natural whingers and actually enjoy moaning, some come on here moaning about the lack of meets and responses to messages and expecting someone to take pity and ask them to meet or get invites. True, but doesn't make it any less irritating! "
Nature of the beast I guess, and I don't think it will change anytime soon. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i like this thank you for the tips,ive been here a while now and dare i say starting to get some interest.This is mainly due to not copy and paste and patience |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ah the copy and paste stuff annoys me.. i remeber all my contacts..geeky thing.. and when i get 5 from the same guy at intervals may i add..with the same message from previous 4.. its not great x  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is brilliant advice that should form part of some sort of induction programme for new joiners to the site!
As a single lady, I thank you. "
Fully agree that it would be a great idea as part of an induction to the site. |
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I commend you for taking the time and trouble to write a well thought out and excellent piece of advice which should be read and acted upon, however.....seeing as the vast majority of the "single" males that message (me anyway) don't bother to read profiles I expect you will remain the shining example for others to wonder why you are so happy, hugzzies, Ruby, xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Great stuff
Please add something about pictures. Ie
No pics of cocks with remote controls, aerosols or rulers etc
And pics of cocks are ok but not if they are the only pic or if the only pics are of the aforementioned cock but with a woman being the focus of the pic
And don't lie about being straight - you will get caught out by your friends list, preferences or feedback lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Great stuff
Please add something about pictures. Ie
No pics of cocks with remote controls, aerosols or rulers etc
And pics of cocks are ok but not if they are the only pic or if the only pics are of the aforementioned cock but with a woman being the focus of the pic
And don't lie about being straight - you will get caught out by your friends list, preferences or feedback lol "
Shame can't edit posts but you did a good enough job there anyway lol. |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
"After reading countless threads saying can't get a meet I thought I'd take it upon myself to write a guide!
First thing you need is patience.....on this site it's the women in charge seeing they are in the minority and then its the couples. If you're a single guy unless you are Brad Pitt you will not meet anyone first night.
Second thing is an interesting profile that sells you. Up to you how much info you say about yourself on it as being honest can lose you potential meets but being a barefaced liar will lose you more. Let your personality shine through and try not to be too self absorbed about how good you are.
Third thing is a willingness to get stuck in. You will get out what you put in. Try not to copy and paste messages, make sure you read the profile and center your messages around what you have read. You will get knocked back a few times or have people who won't answer back just move on to the next. Take part in the discussions on the forum, attend a few clubs or socials and go into the chatrooms.
People like positive people so dont be negative or whiney either in your posts, profile or status. Unless you're quasimodo or have a personality of a dead fish you're more then likely to get a meet eventually.
"
I don't know whether to applaud or cry...
The advice is spot on, .. so for that I would applaud the only other bit I would add,, be respectful and well mannered, don't take it too seriously,..
I'm now going to shed a tear ..Reason is simple,,
all of the guys who didn't know this in the first place ... wtf.. 
its just normal social skills.,.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"After reading countless threads saying can't get a meet I thought I'd take it upon myself to write a guide!
First thing you need is patience.....on this site it's the women in charge seeing they are in the minority and then its the couples. If you're a single guy unless you are Brad Pitt you will not meet anyone first night.
Second thing is an interesting profile that sells you. Up to you how much info you say about yourself on it as being honest can lose you potential meets but being a barefaced liar will lose you more. Let your personality shine through and try not to be too self absorbed about how good you are.
Third thing is a willingness to get stuck in. You will get out what you put in. Try not to copy and paste messages, make sure you read the profile and center your messages around what you have read. You will get knocked back a few times or have people who won't answer back just move on to the next. Take part in the discussions on the forum, attend a few clubs or socials and go into the chatrooms.
People like positive people so dont be negative or whiney either in your posts, profile or status. Unless you're quasimodo or have a personality of a dead fish you're more then likely to get a meet eventually.
I don't know whether to applaud or cry...
The advice is spot on, .. so for that I would applaud the only other bit I would add,, be respectful and well mannered, don't take it too seriously,..
I'm now going to shed a tear ..Reason is simple,,
all of the guys who didn't know this in the first place ... wtf..
its just normal social skills.,.
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If most people 'think' before filling out their profile and look at it from the people who they want to read its point of view, they would probably get alot more meets, but like you have said Patience, you cannot assume unless you are a movie star etc all the women/men will flock to you in droves because you are NEW. Go to clubs, socialise, and take it from there, most genuine people do have their own lives as well, so just be PATIENT, but be well prepared for that First MEET as well, remember all can be LOST as well when you meet others if you have no SOCIAL interaction skills YES you do need to SPEAK and have a conversation, you just cannot whip your cock out FIRST lol,
x sue x |
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By *njamesMan
over a year ago
Swindon |
"Ah the copy and paste stuff annoys me.. i remeber all my contacts..geeky thing.. and when i get 5 from the same guy at intervals may i add..with the same message from previous 4.. its not great x "
There is a simple script and program that FAB could introduce which shows whether a message had been copy & pasted, some "other" websites actually do not allow copied messages to be sent... |
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"After reading countless threads saying can't get a meet I thought I'd take it upon myself to write a guide!
First thing you need is patience.....on this site it's the women in charge seeing they are in the minority and then its the couples. If you're a single guy unless you are Brad Pitt you will not meet anyone first night.
Second thing is an interesting profile that sells you. Up to you how much info you say about yourself on it as being honest can lose you potential meets but being a barefaced liar will lose you more. Let your personality shine through and try not to be too self absorbed about how good you are.
Third thing is a willingness to get stuck in. You will get out what you put in. Try not to copy and paste messages, make sure you read the profile and center your messages around what you have read. You will get knocked back a few times or have people who won't answer back just move on to the next. Take part in the discussions on the forum, attend a few clubs or socials and go into the chatrooms.
People like positive people so dont be negative or whiney either in your posts, profile or status. Unless you're quasimodo or have a personality of a dead fish you're more then likely to get a meet eventually.
I don't know whether to applaud or cry...
The advice is spot on, .. so for that I would applaud the only other bit I would add,, be respectful and well mannered, don't take it too seriously,..
I'm now going to shed a tear ..Reason is simple,,
all of the guys who didn't know this in the first place ... wtf..
its just normal social skills.,.
"
Totally agree and I was trying to keep this info secret so those in the know would get more meets |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just a shame that those that need this kind of advice will never read it as even a profile is beyond them  and the status too given the "what u up 2 2day" kind of messages I get   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Great post! Can we give it to all blokes, not just the ones on here? 
A bit of respect goes a long way.
On some sites/ forums they have 'sticky topics' that are always at the top of the list. I think it would be a great idea for something like that on here so people don't keep asking the same questions.
Not so keen on the idiot type of blokes reading this and having a go... If they stop the one line emails how will we know they are plonkers.... We might end up meeting one?! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Our personal hate is, no text speak in your message, take the time to correctly spell and use the English language is full.
"
We keep banging on about that one, and thought that we were starting to sound like boring old farts! Nice to know someone younger than us agrees
It's a bit like the first three rules of retail (location, location, location). With swinging (and not just Fab!) it's PATIENCE, PATIENCE, PATIENCE....
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a guy the OPs advice is brilliant. When I first started out on here a year ago with my single profile it was very soul destroying being deleted or knocked back all the time but patience is a virtue as they say. I kept updating my profile, adding new pics, getting in the chat rooms and sending personalised messages to the women I was interested in. I also found it useful to check on the messages I sent and if the lady deleted them then I would block her so I don't message her again in the future, nothing personal just saves time for us all.
The best advice I can give is in my post and of course to take the advice of the OP. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"After reading countless threads saying can't get a meet I thought I'd take it upon myself to write a guide!
First thing you need is patience.....on this site it's the women in charge seeing they are in the minority and then its the couples. If you're a single guy unless you are Brad Pitt you will not meet anyone first night.
Second thing is an interesting profile that sells you. Up to you how much info you say about yourself on it as being honest can lose you potential meets but being a barefaced liar will lose you more. Let your personality shine through and try not to be too self absorbed about how good you are.
Third thing is a willingness to get stuck in. You will get out what you put in. Try not to copy and paste messages, make sure you read the profile and center your messages around what you have read. You will get knocked back a few times or have people who won't answer back just move on to the next. Take part in the discussions on the forum, attend a few clubs or socials and go into the chatrooms.
People like positive people so dont be negative or whiney either in your posts, profile or status. Unless you're quasimodo or have a personality of a dead fish you're more then likely to get a meet eventually.
I don't know whether to applaud or cry...
The advice is spot on, .. so for that I would applaud the only other bit I would add,, be respectful and well mannered, don't take it too seriously,..
I'm now going to shed a tear ..Reason is simple,,
all of the guys who didn't know this in the first place ... wtf..
its just normal social skills.,.
"
Bugger you took the words right out of my mouth. You should not need to be told !!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Answer all mails (even if its a thanks but no thanks) Be polite. Turn up when arranged (or offer to pay hotel bill if you cannot)
Remember that the girls are the important ones, no means no.
Be very wary of couples that contact you with no feedback (on site a year and still no meets)
Load as interesting pics as you can on your profile.
Parties /clubs are great for meeting new couples (even if you do not play on the night you may find you still get a mail from a couple that attended and are interested)
Dress smart on meets and be yourself.
All the above folks might not agree on, but they have worked for us
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By *njamesMan
over a year ago
Swindon |
"Answer all mails (even if its a thanks but no thanks) Be polite. Turn up when arranged (or offer to pay hotel bill if you cannot)
Remember that the girls are the important ones, no means no.
Be very wary of couples that contact you with no feedback (on site a year and still no meets)
Load as interesting pics as you can on your profile.
Parties /clubs are great for meeting new couples (even if you do not play on the night you may find you still get a mail from a couple that attended and are interested)
Dress smart on meets and be yourself.
All the above folks might not agree on, but they have worked for us
"
Very good & very simples....... |
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My experience and advice would be different, however, it does seem to be what the gals say it should be and always have done. And its always appealing to think similarly.
For me, doesn't work in reality and I think at this point I know a fair bit. Either they fancy you or they don't really? It is a physical thing - and women are just as wired visually as men when it comes down to it. Would say don't get downhearted lads, this is a bit of fun and whether someone will meet you or not should not be linked to your ego. This has got nothing to do with who you are, or what you stand for.
Its primarily carnal. A person's personality is far more appealing if they give you the horn!
S |
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"...some people are natural whingers and actually enjoy moaning"
Before you know it, there'll be a request for a whingers chat room
Maybe whingers are naturally drawn to each other, and one person's whinge is another person's echo of themeselves, and there's a good natural fit. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's a good start but nothing more.
Devil's Advocate here (simply because I like to look at things from all angles). The only part that is of any use to a single guy here is being honest.
The main difference between Men and Women's profiles is that women will put what they want and desire on theirs while men tend to be happy for what they can get. This is where the advice falls short. I think the advice should also encourage single males to be honest to themselves about what they want and desire instead of trying to appeal to the female masses overall. It means you also reach out to others with mutual interests which means better meets.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"After reading countless threads saying can't get a meet I thought I'd take it upon myself to write a guide!
First thing you need is patience.....on this site it's the women in charge seeing they are in the minority and then its the couples. If you're a single guy unless you are Brad Pitt you will not meet anyone first night.
Second thing is an interesting profile that sells you. Up to you how much info you say about yourself on it as being honest can lose you potential meets but being a barefaced liar will lose you more. Let your personality shine through and try not to be too self absorbed about how good you are.
Third thing is a willingness to get stuck in. You will get out what you put in. Try not to copy and paste messages, make sure you read the profile and center your messages around what you have read. You will get knocked back a few times or have people who won't answer back just move on to the next. Take part in the discussions on the forum, attend a few clubs or socials and go into the chatrooms.
People like positive people so dont be negative or whiney either in your posts, profile or status. Unless you're quasimodo or have a personality of a dead fish you're more then likely to get a meet eventually.
I don't know whether to applaud or cry...
The advice is spot on, .. so for that I would applaud the only other bit I would add,, be respectful and well mannered, don't take it too seriously,..
I'm now going to shed a tear ..Reason is simple,,
all of the guys who didn't know this in the first place ... wtf..
its just normal social skills.,.
"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Joining fabs to 'become' a swinger is never gonna work for a single guy. I think you need to go to clubs, socialize, meet people, drink, talk, laugh and fuck first...! Find out what you like and what you're able to give.
Only when you begin to accumulate a small circle of friend will this site really help to increase it to a large circle...
Be honest, be polite, be patient... Read profiles and use more than just a quick 'wanna fuck' message...lol..! Browsing in your local area and in the areas where you might be going to a club also helps. The chat rooms are a laugh too...
The only reason I joined fabs was because people kept asking if I was on it... Now I am, its been all good and i've met some really great people.
This is not a dating site, it just helps to bring like minded, sexually motivated people together. There's plenty of people on here... gotta be someone for everyone I would imagine..! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Joining fabs to 'become' a swinger is never gonna work for a single guy. I think you need to go to clubs, socialize, meet people, drink, talk, laugh and fuck first...! Find out what you like and what you're able to give.
Only when you begin to accumulate a small circle of friend will this site really help to increase it to a large circle...
Be honest, be polite, be patient... Read profiles and use more than just a quick 'wanna fuck' message...lol..! Browsing in your local area and in the areas where you might be going to a club also helps. The chat rooms are a laugh too...
The only reason I joined fabs was because people kept asking if I was on it... Now I am, its been all good and i've met some really great people.
This is not a dating site, it just helps to bring like minded, sexually motivated people together. There's plenty of people on here... gotta be someone for everyone I would imagine..! "
+1 mate. Right attitude and right perspective in site like Fab. Use them to widen your circle of friends/experiences. Don't rely on them alone to hep you 'become' a swinger as you rightly say. |
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Profiles should be honest and express personality, "will fill in later" or "just looking for fun" won't get you very far.
We're all attracted by different parts of the human body, photos should therefore reflect these attractions by showing different views. Mrs Lincs has a thing for shoulders, chests & arms, sadly most guys seem obsessed with their cocks.
We're all different & we're all looking for different things, so read profiles very carefully and give some thought to your initial message. "Hi, hows you" or "Fancy a fuck" will usually get you nowhere except blocked.
Patience is a virtue, some members only swing a few times a year and will choose their partners slowly & extremely carefully.
Swingers are real & quite normal people, NOT prostitutes, so don't expect instant guaranteed sex.
Swingers also form a community and will often exchange details of intolerant, impatient or obnoxious members.
Finally, be yourself and have fun. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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good post a have copied it into wordpad to keep a note of it . a relies my profile needs work . A have not sent any messages so wont be crying in the forum anytime soon one thing about the chatroom seems to me no many chat more random text than anything |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For single men: If you're ugly, old or both, you're wasting your time regardless of what your profile says, or what messages you sends. What your face looks like in youre pics is all that counts.
Sorry, lads |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've had meets with guys who could (if I were being cruel, and I'm aware I'm no oil painting) be considered not particularly good looking.
However, they were lovely people and good lovers.
I won't sleep with people I don't get on with or whom I don't respect, however good looking they may be. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some very good advice here. Will definitely take it on board. Have a bad habit of lurking through forums rather than trying for meets, thus my lack of veris, assuming that i would be anymore successful if i made more of an effort  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Lurking in the forums is not a bad thing. It is probably the best place to get a feel for what people like and what annoys them. For example our pet hate is guys not addressing us as a couple |
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