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Strong independent male vs Actually having sex...
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As a single guy on fab I feel I have to put up with a lot of crap and general shitty behaviour to get anywhere on this site (not always but way to much)
For example, arranged a met with a lady and it was cancelled 5 times with various excuses. She was obviously lying and meeting other people, her verification were stacking up. I went along with her bs and said no worries and eventually met her and had one of the most amazing nights of my life. If I’d of stood up for myself it wouldn’t have happened. These days I have far less patience and will block quickly anyone that messes about. This has lead to meeting a lot less which isn’t really what I want.
Thoughts?? |
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She had five better offers than what you were offering, is my initial thoughts. Maybe they were better looking, more adventurous or just simply closer. When you finally got to meet you should’ve asked.
We all get frustrated with the site for our own reasons, but to be honest I very rarely meet off the site I prefer the clubs as there’s more genuine people on the actual scene rather than behind a screen.
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People may think single women have it easy on this site but imagine being bombarded with crude and quite often offensive suggestions or comments regularly. I have had 25 msgs so far today and only 5 were nice, 6 were blocked, 2 reported and the rest deleted. It is frustrating. As for the meet issue I have a three strike rule if you cancel 3 times you're blocked or if you cancel and I see a veri from that date you're blocked!
You have to be a bit harsh in this lifestyle I'm afraid |
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"If she cancelled 5 times with various excuses that you already deemed bs why on earth would you even bother?! "
because I’d be back to square one and there’s no guarantee the next person wouldn’t do exactly the same thing. At least we’d chatted and established the possibility of a meet.
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"She had five better offers than what you were offering, is my initial thoughts. Maybe they were better looking, more adventurous or just simply closer. When you finally got to meet you should’ve asked.
We all get frustrated with the site for our own reasons, but to be honest I very rarely meet off the site I prefer the clubs as there’s more genuine people on the actual scene rather than behind a screen.
"
Better looking? Impossible
I didn’t want to make it awkward by asking ..it was a bloody good night in the end. |
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"People may think single women have it easy on this site but imagine being bombarded with crude and quite often offensive suggestions or comments regularly. I have had 25 msgs so far today and only 5 were nice, 6 were blocked, 2 reported and the rest deleted. It is frustrating. As for the meet issue I have a three strike rule if you cancel 3 times you're blocked or if you cancel and I see a veri from that date you're blocked!
You have to be a bit harsh in this lifestyle I'm afraid"
My friends have shown me their single female accounts when we’ve met up. I’d rather be a single guy. If only so I don’t get sent hundreds of photos a day of objects people claims are penis’ |
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"
My friends have shown me their single female accounts when we’ve met up. I’d rather be a single guy. If only so I don’t get sent hundreds of photos a day of objects people claims are penis’"
Usually next to a Sky remote or can of Lynx!!! |
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"People may think single women have it easy on this site but imagine being bombarded with crude and quite often offensive suggestions or comments regularly. I have had 25 msgs so far today and only 5 were nice, 6 were blocked, 2 reported and the rest deleted. It is frustrating. As for the meet issue I have a three strike rule if you cancel 3 times you're blocked or if you cancel and I see a veri from that date you're blocked!
You have to be a bit harsh in this lifestyle I'm afraid"
I would get 5 nice messages in about 6 months if I am lucky so I definitely think your situation is preferable. As far being harsh cancelling meets is very normal in my experience so if I am harsh and don’t take any shit il never meet anyone. I need to smile say no problem and suggest rearranging. |
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"If she cancelled 5 times with various excuses that you already deemed bs why on earth would you even bother?! because I’d be back to square one and there’s no guarantee the next person wouldn’t do exactly the same thing. At least we’d chatted and established the possibility of a meet. "
You don't think that gives her the impression she can keep you on a shoe string until she has no other offers?
I'm glad that it turned out to be a good night for you in the end tho.
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"If she cancelled 5 times with various excuses that you already deemed bs why on earth would you even bother?! because I’d be back to square one and there’s no guarantee the next person wouldn’t do exactly the same thing. At least we’d chatted and established the possibility of a meet.
You don't think that gives her the impression she can keep you on a shoe string until she has no other offers?
I'm glad that it turned out to be a good night for you in the end tho.
"
its fab so she’s always going to have offers. And yeah I feel like I was probably being held in reserve. I feel it Probably happens a lot. |
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"As a single guy on fab I feel I have to put up with a lot of crap and general shitty behaviour to get anywhere on this site (not always but way to much)
For example, arranged a met with a lady and it was cancelled 5 times with various excuses. She was obviously lying and meeting other people, her verification were stacking up. I went along with her bs and said no worries and eventually met her and had one of the most amazing nights of my life. If I’d of stood up for myself it wouldn’t have happened. These days I have far less patience and will block quickly anyone that messes about. This has lead to meeting a lot less which isn’t really what I want.
Thoughts?? "
Ordinarily I have a two strikes and they’re blocked rule (as life can get in the way of a meet at times, so a second chance is fair enough), but if someone cancels on me, then posts a veri from someone else for the same night, then that’s taking the piss. First class ticket to Block Street  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People may think single women have it easy on this site but imagine being bombarded with crude and quite often offensive suggestions or comments regularly. I have had 25 msgs so far today and only 5 were nice, 6 were blocked, 2 reported and the rest deleted. It is frustrating. As for the meet issue I have a three strike rule if you cancel 3 times you're blocked or if you cancel and I see a veri from that date you're blocked!
You have to be a bit harsh in this lifestyle I'm afraid
My friends have shown me their single female accounts when we’ve met up. I’d rather be a single guy. If only so I don’t get sent hundreds of photos a day of objects people claims are penis’"
The worst pic I've seen is one where the owner needed cream (wasn't sent to me so I'm not breaking message confidentiality). Worst case of "nappy" rash ever. |
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No one has to put up with anything that is inappropriate for them as they can stop or say no at any point. Most of us will never know if someone will cancel 5 times before a fulfilled meet because we'd not tolerate it. It's Disrespectful to mess people around, including telling lies, to swap 1 partner for another.
I know single men have to work hard here but I'd not have guessed that people would frequently cancel multiple meets - I'm assuming ops example isn't a 1 time only type of behaviour from people.
It's disappointing that some people are able to get away with this. Op seems like someone I'd potentially meet and he deserves better. Though all people here deserve respect and common courtesies from everybody else.
It's frustrating that things are so bad. Flip side is whether op could potentially adjust his choices and how he filters others. He's been here quite some time and presumably refined his filtering? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it's up to you what you're prepared to put up with to get sex really.
I think men are at a slight disadvantage on fab due to numbers though "
I think this is key - set your own limits on what’s acceptable and what isn’t. But always also remember that this is just a part of life, don’t let it become an obsession.
I’ve had one or two similar experiences - from people who actively don’t seek veris to not leave a trail. It can feel pretty rubbish being the 3/4/5th choice. Also suspect they’re in the “as much fun as possible quickly” group rather than the “small circle of good friends” group!
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