FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Messages - short and sweet or somewhat detailed?
Messages - short and sweet or somewhat detailed?
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With the plethora of profiles I see all varying in length, I’m curious to know are you ladies and couples like to reply to a message that’s short, sweet and to the point or one that possess some degree of detail?
I like to mix it up between the two with open questions so the conversation flows though I find it’s either a very brief reply or no reply at all
Would love to get people’s thoughts on this |
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"It depends entirely on what’s been written! I’ve responded to a single sentence, and to a long message!"
I usually go with an introduction about myself, followed by my intentions, why I’ve decided to make contact, followed by asking what they are looking for, their interests which is followed by some (tasteful) photos attache.
All this can vary in length depending on what their profile tells me |
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"Something personal. Can't stand copy-pasted generic statements. Also not just "hi", so uninteresting. "
I always make sure to add a personal touch, can imagine it must be quite excruciating having to sift through those generic copy and paste statements or a just a “hi” as neither give you anything go by.
Loving the pics by the way  x |
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I like a message that is not copy and paste, shows the sender has actually looked at my profile, says something pertaining to me, and, as you stated, asks an open ended question (especially if it makes me laugh).
It doesn't need to be long or drawn out. (Have you bothered to notice that I am a smoker, and don't mind? etc)
I don't delete previous messages, so it's obvious when I get the same copy and paste every week.
The best messages seem to be those that don't look for or expect anything, just want a laugh...and go from there, as it does.
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By *arl17Man
over a year ago
Central Portugal |
"I like a message that is not copy and paste, shows the sender has actually looked at my profile, says something pertaining to me, and, as you stated, asks an open ended question (especially if it makes me laugh).
It doesn't need to be long or drawn out. (Have you bothered to notice that I am a smoker, and don't mind? etc)
I don't delete previous messages, so it's obvious when I get the same copy and paste every week.
The best messages seem to be those that don't look for or expect anything, just want a laugh...and go from there, as it does.
"
Simple is best x |
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Always adhere to what a profile requests, if it does.
I prefer a message that shows some effort, so isn't just a tiny number of words.
Generally if it looks like the intro to sexting, I'm not interested.
Ideally it will expand on what I've learned about you, from your profile. Both should reflect positively on you. Including extra pics that aren't in your profile is a good move too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I tend to write my opening message with something positively be about the person I’m contacting, this site is a mine field for men, I live in an area where there are several navy bases with all those sailors looking for sex, I suppose they copy and paste.
Sometimes getting information out of a profile is a tricky thing, the persons profile is negative, lots of dislikes and contradictions.
I think some on here use it to just post pics of themselves with no intention of chatting or meeting.
This not being my thread I’ll stop there. |
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Keep it simple. Don’t copy & paste, don’t make it too long.
Short & sweet definitely better, but more than just a ‘how’s you’ or ‘nice pics’ message.
I’m going to read a profile probably before I read a message, so I’ve 99% made my mind up before I get to the message |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally for me, it helps if you at least give me something to reply to. What I mean by that is give me a topic to or question that I can make a conversation out of if that makes sense ? |
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"I very rarely respond to very brief messages. To me it is imperson and shows a lack of effort.
I like messages where the person has obviously read my profile.
"
The problem is that ladies on here get swamped by requests/messages. I've almost completely given up in sending messages as the majority don't get answered. Even more annoying than unanswered messages is when they have been and stay unread.
I do understand the ladies position as it can be a full time job replying to every message received but it does become disheartening for the guy if you've spent time writing and you don't even get a polite No Thanks back.
In answer to the original question I think the best approach is a short and simple message. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It depends entirely on what’s been written! I’ve responded to a single sentence, and to a long message!
I usually go with an introduction about myself, followed by my intentions, why I’ve decided to make contact, followed by asking what they are looking for, their interests which is followed by some (tasteful) photos attache.
All this can vary in length depending on what their profile tells me "
Sounds like a looong message! Seeing that you have a profile filled with information I'd cut down to "what made you contact" which is personal to them (esp. if it references their profile text), with pics attached, and invite them to have a look at your profile if they want to know more. For me that's enough to start a conversation if there is attraction, see potential or have any interest.
Gotta say being asked what I'm looking for is an aggravator for me personally. It's either that my profile is filled in but you don't get it; or that "I'll know it when I see it", there is no explaining. Not everyone has a simple to-do list or prescribed desires, and also some desires are person-specific rather than activity-specific. So "what are you looking for" is not a useful question to ask. Maybe a more direct question could be "can I help you with any of your desires". |
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It depends honestly.
I introduce myself, show an interest in them, ask a few questions based off the profile and invite them to look at mine.
Sign off. I usually include more pictures (nothing rude)
I don't write reems and reems because in all likeihood people don't usually respond or are off put by really long detailed messages.
But I avoid writing one lines either to females and couples. |
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A little bit about them a face pic if they don't have one and polite are always a winner. Even if we are not interested you'll at least get an honest reply. Short, poorly constructed messages are a big turn off for us. |
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