FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Dealing with single men
Dealing with single men
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Couples,
We like to play with single men from time to time so we’d rather not block all single men from messaging us. That said, it’s relentless trying to administer them. We get loads of ‘how are you’ and ‘hey’ messages. We get loads of Friend requests from men without a message. 99 % don’t read our profile.
It’s ridiculous and we’re losing decent meets because we mass delete.
Does anyone have any tips?
Thanks in advance. |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"Couples,
We like to play with single men from time to time so we’d rather not block all single men from messaging us. That said, it’s relentless trying to administer them. We get loads of ‘how are you’ and ‘hey’ messages. We get loads of Friend requests from men without a message. 99 % don’t read our profile.
It’s ridiculous and we’re losing decent meets because we mass delete.
Does anyone have any tips?
Thanks in advance. "
There's not much you can do, I've just put up very strict age filters so that tends to help abit. I just delete them, not mass delete, just one by one |
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By *lan157Man
over a year ago
a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex |
OP may I suggest you subscribe to a campaign for Fab to block first messages from men to women or couples that are less than a prescribed number of characters so that "How are you ?" etc is nowhere near long enough and also that you can't send a friends request until you receive a reply to a message ? . |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"OP may I suggest you subscribe to a campaign for Fab to block first messages from men to women or couples that are less than a prescribed number of characters so that "How are you ?" etc is nowhere near long enough and also that you can't send a friends request until you receive a reply to a message ? . "
They can just do..................................
Friends requests aren't a huge problem, just leave them where they are then they can't send another.
|
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"OP may I suggest you subscribe to a campaign for Fab to block first messages from men to women or couples that are less than a prescribed number of characters so that "How are you ?" etc is nowhere near long enough and also that you can't send a friends request until you receive a reply to a message ? . "
Plus, some of us don't want an essay. |
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"Block them from messaging - then you can actually go looking for one you like the look of. If you wink or message a guy they can message back"
You beat me to it.
I really don't understand why more don't do this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It’s just a facet of fab life. There are lots of single males so if you want to limit communication from them then block them. If you see someone you fancy contact them removing the block temporarily and then they can respond?
Not difficult in my view. |
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By *lan157Man
over a year ago
a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex |
"OP may I suggest you subscribe to a campaign for Fab to block first messages from men to women or couples that are less than a prescribed number of characters so that "How are you ?" etc is nowhere near long enough and also that you can't send a friends request until you receive a reply to a message ? .
They can just do..................................
Friends requests aren't a huge problem, just leave them where they are then they can't send another.
"
If someone filled the message with surplus dots to achieve a minimum character limit do you think they would get a reply? I was thinking it might prompt many to actually say something that might appeal to the OP. |
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By *exfordMan
over a year ago
discombobulated land |
"Couples,
We like to play with single men from time to time so we’d rather not block all single men from messaging us. That said, it’s relentless trying to administer them. We get loads of ‘how are you’ and ‘hey’ messages. We get loads of Friend requests from men without a message. 99 % don’t read our profile.
It’s ridiculous and we’re losing decent meets because we mass delete.
Does anyone have any tips?
Thanks in advance. "
I'd suggest a monthly open house policy.
For instance, say every first Monday of the month post your address and post code on here and invite all interested single men round between a convenient time to you, if suggest between 2pm to 5pm to be good.
Each guy can walk in, introduce themselves, say a little about themselves then leave after writing their mobile number one a chalk board in your kitchen. You can then deliberate that evening and make the calls to those lucky enough the following morning. Always prefix the following monthly open house invite with 'previous applicants need not apply' that way you're sure to eliminate the same guys repeatedly turning up each month. It's simple really once you put some thought into it.... Hope this has helped tremendously! 
By the way, worried about funeral costs? Then don't be. Take out a policy with Sun Life. Guaranteed to be accepted with no awkward medical questions.. And they guarantee to pay out 100 percent on death... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Couples,
We like to play with single men from time to time so we’d rather not block all single men from messaging us. That said, it’s relentless trying to administer them. We get loads of ‘how are you’ and ‘hey’ messages. We get loads of Friend requests from men without a message. 99 % don’t read our profile.
It’s ridiculous and we’re losing decent meets because we mass delete.
Does anyone have any tips?
Thanks in advance.
I'd suggest a monthly open house policy.
For instance, say every first Monday of the month post your address and post code on here and invite all interested single men round between a convenient time to you, if suggest between 2pm to 5pm to be good.
Each guy can walk in, introduce themselves, say a little about themselves then leave after writing their mobile number one a chalk board in your kitchen. You can then deliberate that evening and make the calls to those lucky enough the following morning. Always prefix the following monthly open house invite with 'previous applicants need not apply' that way you're sure to eliminate the same guys repeatedly turning up each month. It's simple really once you put some thought into it.... Hope this has helped tremendously!
By the way, worried about funeral costs? Then don't be. Take out a policy with Sun Life. Guaranteed to be accepted with no awkward medical questions.. And they guarantee to pay out 100 percent on death..."
A little harsh but I did giggle |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I was thinking it might prompt many to actually say something that might appeal to the OP. "
Being able to string a sentence together is all I've got to help me stand out, don't go getting everyone to do it  |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"OP may I suggest you subscribe to a campaign for Fab to block first messages from men to women or couples that are less than a prescribed number of characters so that "How are you ?" etc is nowhere near long enough and also that you can't send a friends request until you receive a reply to a message ? .
They can just do..................................
Friends requests aren't a huge problem, just leave them where they are then they can't send another.
If someone filled the message with surplus dots to achieve a minimum character limit do you think they would get a reply? I was thinking it might prompt many to actually say something that might appeal to the OP. "
How would that even change anything though? Most of them will just spam alerter to get past the filter. |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
I don't know tips on dealing with them apart from either ignoring those who haven't send a message that's of interest to you.
I seem to deal with so many entitled men who feel I should drop everything and drive 100 miles to help them fulfil a fantasy.
Honestly I just don't know what they are thinking or how they feel like that could possibly ever be something anybody would do.
So apart from ignoring those who are not of interest I don't really have any tips. |
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By *hippy57Man
over a year ago
Chelmsford |
It amazes me,why so many can be so shallow,they talk about single or married men,as if something they trod in,not everyone is as lucky to be overwhelmed with messages of interest,we can't all be Adonis's,or have a A level in English,we all here for fun & friendship,no need to take the moral high ground, |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
If you don't want to use filters to block all single men from messaging (the best idea), then instead of mass deleting just go through and block profiles you aren't interested in as they message. That way they can't keep pestering you or message again in future. |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"It amazes me,why so many can be so shallow,they talk about single or married men,as if something they trod in,not everyone is as lucky to be overwhelmed with messages of interest,we can't all be Adonis's,or have a A level in English,we all here for fun & friendship,no need to take the moral high ground,"
Yes, I'm shallow, I want to find men to fuck, not marry. So if I want an Adonis then that's what I'll look for. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It amazes me,why so many can be so shallow,they talk about single or married men,as if something they trod in,not everyone is as lucky to be overwhelmed with messages of interest,we can't all be Adonis's,or have a A level in English,we all here for fun & friendship,no need to take the moral high ground,
Yes, I'm shallow, I want to find men to fuck, not marry. So if I want an Adonis then that's what I'll look for. "
I think you missed his point....... it’s the moaning about single men emailing , that he is complaining about.....
If a guy started a thread about how to manage bi males , bbw’s or ugly People emailing him..,,
The pitch forks and torches would be out.....
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Set a tight age range, block none verified members, block new profiles, block pictureless profiles, block non site verified etc...
You’ll still get bellends but in a manageable quantity... |
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"Couples,
We like to play with single men from time to time so we’d rather not block all single men from messaging us. That said, it’s relentless trying to administer them. We get loads of ‘how are you’ and ‘hey’ messages. We get loads of Friend requests from men without a message. 99 % don’t read our profile.
It’s ridiculous and we’re losing decent meets because we mass delete.
Does anyone have any tips?
Thanks in advance.
I'd suggest a monthly open house policy.
For instance, say every first Monday of the month post your address and post code on here and invite all interested single men round between a convenient time to you, if suggest between 2pm to 5pm to be good.
Each guy can walk in, introduce themselves, say a little about themselves then leave after writing their mobile number one a chalk board in your kitchen. You can then deliberate that evening and make the calls to those lucky enough the following morning. Always prefix the following monthly open house invite with 'previous applicants need not apply' that way you're sure to eliminate the same guys repeatedly turning up each month. It's simple really once you put some thought into it.... Hope this has helped tremendously!
By the way, worried about funeral costs? Then don't be. Take out a policy with Sun Life. Guaranteed to be accepted with no awkward medical questions.. And they guarantee to pay out 100 percent on death..."
|
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By *lan157Man
over a year ago
a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex |
"It amazes me,why so many can be so shallow,they talk about single or married men,as if something they trod in,not everyone is as lucky to be overwhelmed with messages of interest,we can't all be Adonis's,or have a A level in English,we all here for fun & friendship,no need to take the moral high ground,"
Whilst I see the point you are making once you see the messages women get in their hundreds that are 3 to 5 words long or are unsavoury then you would understand the scale of the problem. I have been privileged to see this myself in playmates inboxes and it's a real issue. |
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"Couples,
We like to play with single men from time to time so we’d rather not block all single men from messaging us. That said, it’s relentless trying to administer them. We get loads of ‘how are you’ and ‘hey’ messages. We get loads of Friend requests from men without a message. 99 % don’t read our profile.
It’s ridiculous and we’re losing decent meets because we mass delete.
Does anyone have any tips?
Thanks in advance. "
If you are that inundated with requests from single men then went not employ a PA? You'll be doing yourself a favour and the country during these difficult times when there are so many good hard working honest people bring made redundant through no fault of their own. Otherwise, how about just stopping your moaning and get on with it. As she of the other contributors have said, it's like single men are the scourge of society on here sometimes. I mean, your title says it all.. 'dealing with' OMG, we doing like we are a bunch of marauding hooligans.
Have a nice day by the way x |
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"Couples,
We like to play with single men from time to time so we’d rather not block all single men from messaging us. That said, it’s relentless trying to administer them. We get loads of ‘how are you’ and ‘hey’ messages. We get loads of Friend requests from men without a message. 99 % don’t read our profile.
It’s ridiculous and we’re losing decent meets because we mass delete.
Does anyone have any tips?
Thanks in advance. "
block all single men and Find one you like? Seems like a really straightforward solution. |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"We just keep single men blocked, it saves getting loads of pointless messages. If someone catches our eye then we will add them to the hotlist for future reference.
K"
The hotlist is very useful for this, I generally add a note as well.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Set a tight age range, block none verified members, block new profiles, block pictureless profiles, block non site verified etc...
You’ll still get bellends but in a manageable quantity... "
Yes this is exactly the filters I have applied. |
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For what's it's worth, and as a single man, get high volume of messages from single lads that haven't read my profile or send friend requests with no message beforehand. Would also say that have had a few really abnoxious messages from couples. Guess everyone has to wade through some of the dross on this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"For what's it's worth, and as a single man, get high volume of messages from single lads that haven't read my profile or send friend requests with no message beforehand. Would also say that have had a few really abnoxious messages from couples. Guess everyone has to wade through some of the dross on this. "
Tgirl agreement... it’s about the people not their sex, however as the biggest grouping single males often supply the most fuel for eye rolling x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Couples,
We like to play with single men from time to time so we’d rather not block all single men from messaging us. That said, it’s relentless trying to administer them. We get loads of ‘how are you’ and ‘hey’ messages. We get loads of Friend requests from men without a message. 99 % don’t read our profile.
It’s ridiculous and we’re losing decent meets because we mass delete.
Filter messages out from single guys and look for ones who appeal and message them. Although for us play with single guys tends to be in clubs - just by them being there it filters out the wannabes and “wankchatters”.
Does anyone have any tips?
Thanks in advance. "
|
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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
"Couples,
We like to play with single men from time to time so we’d rather not block all single men from messaging us. That said, it’s relentless trying to administer them. We get loads of ‘how are you’ and ‘hey’ messages. We get loads of Friend requests from men without a message. 99 % don’t read our profile.
It’s ridiculous and we’re losing decent meets because we mass delete.
Does anyone have any tips?
Thanks in advance.
I'd suggest a monthly open house policy.
For instance, say every first Monday of the month post your address and post code on here and invite all interested single men round between a convenient time to you, if suggest between 2pm to 5pm to be good.
Each guy can walk in, introduce themselves, say a little about themselves then leave after writing their mobile number one a chalk board in your kitchen. You can then deliberate that evening and make the calls to those lucky enough the following morning. Always prefix the following monthly open house invite with 'previous applicants need not apply' that way you're sure to eliminate the same guys repeatedly turning up each month. It's simple really once you put some thought into it.... Hope this has helped tremendously!
By the way, worried about funeral costs? Then don't be. Take out a policy with Sun Life. Guaranteed to be accepted with no awkward medical questions.. And they guarantee to pay out 100 percent on death..."
Or follow forums, dickheads often expose there values and underlying thoughts especially those with death on their mind!
Joke. |
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"Couples,
We like to play with single men from time to time so we’d rather not block all single men from messaging us. That said, it’s relentless trying to administer them. We get loads of ‘how are you’ and ‘hey’ messages. We get loads of Friend requests from men without a message. 99 % don’t read our profile.
It’s ridiculous and we’re losing decent meets because we mass delete.
Does anyone have any tips?
Thanks in advance.
I'd suggest a monthly open house policy.
For instance, say every first Monday of the month post your address and post code on here and invite all interested single men round between a convenient time to you, if suggest between 2pm to 5pm to be good.
Each guy can walk in, introduce themselves, say a little about themselves then leave after writing their mobile number one a chalk board in your kitchen. You can then deliberate that evening and make the calls to those lucky enough the following morning. Always prefix the following monthly open house invite with 'previous applicants need not apply' that way you're sure to eliminate the same guys repeatedly turning up each month. It's simple really once you put some thought into it.... Hope this has helped tremendously!
By the way, worried about funeral costs? Then don't be. Take out a policy with Sun Life. Guaranteed to be accepted with no awkward medical questions.. And they guarantee to pay out 100 percent on death..."
A good reason to block all men  |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"It amazes me,why so many can be so shallow,they talk about single or married men,as if something they trod in,not everyone is as lucky to be overwhelmed with messages of interest,we can't all be Adonis's,or have a A level in English,we all here for fun & friendship,no need to take the moral high ground,
Yes, I'm shallow, I want to find men to fuck, not marry. So if I want an Adonis then that's what I'll look for.
I think you missed his point....... it’s the moaning about single men emailing , that he is complaining about.....
If a guy started a thread about how to manage bi males , bbw’s or ugly People emailing him..,,
The pitch forks and torches would be out.....
"
But nobody mentioned anyones looks or education until he said did. I don't tend to interact with people i'm not interested in fucking, unless they are friends, so I won't bother replying to those people.
Also, for the record, I don't complain about single men messaging me unless they are abusive and then I just giggle with my friends about them.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It amazes me,why so many can be so shallow,they talk about single or married men,as if something they trod in,not everyone is as lucky to be overwhelmed with messages of interest,we can't all be Adonis's,or have a A level in English,we all here for fun & friendship,no need to take the moral high ground,
Yes, I'm shallow, I want to find men to fuck, not marry. So if I want an Adonis then that's what I'll look for.
I think you missed his point....... it’s the moaning about single men emailing , that he is complaining about.....
If a guy started a thread about how to manage bi males , bbw’s or ugly People emailing him..,,
The pitch forks and torches would be out.....
But nobody mentioned anyones looks or education until he said did. I don't tend to interact with people i'm not interested in fucking, unless they are friends, so I won't bother replying to those people.
Also, for the record, I don't complain about single men messaging me unless they are abusive and then I just giggle with my friends about them. "
You are one of the better posters in the forums.... you tend to be consistent and balanced in your postings.... |
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"Couples,
We like to play with single men from time to time so we’d rather not block all single men from messaging us. That said, it’s relentless trying to administer them. We get loads of ‘how are you’ and ‘hey’ messages. We get loads of Friend requests from men without a message. 99 % don’t read our profile.
It’s ridiculous and we’re losing decent meets because we mass delete.
Does anyone have any tips?
Thanks in advance. "
We have met before, but ive been unable to contact you with filters but would definitely love to meet again |
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"Couples,
We like to play with single men from time to time so we’d rather not block all single men from messaging us. That said, it’s relentless trying to administer them. We get loads of ‘how are you’ and ‘hey’ messages. We get loads of Friend requests from men without a message. 99 % don’t read our profile.
It’s ridiculous and we’re losing decent meets because we mass delete.
Does anyone have any tips?
Thanks in advance. "
I find you have to be strict about deleting and delete with no regrets.
Filters on high, write profile with specifics and then ask they include whatever it is you would like, I'd like to see a face picture more than a dick pic, some like both.
Any message that is from someone who has no public pictures, has not attached a face picture and just say "hi, how are you?" I delete. Anyone that has attached a face picture and they aren't my type, I delete.
You will find that blocking messages now and again to do this also helps as being online you get a string of new messages.
Seems a bit harsh but it helps with keeping you sane and inbox managable |
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I prefer to get them in and ignore the very short, no effort messages - this can cut 1/3 out from being viewed.
Look at the profiles of the others and take a quick decision.
I only look when I'm happy to process a few - my time frames, not theirs.
I've decided that I prefer this to blocking all and searching for them, hoping that they will be interested in me.
Having no friends only pics reduces contact too.
The last few months have been more busy with men looking for wank fodder, so reducing your appeal to them is helpful. Other than blocking those who don't match your requirements from messaging you, which isn't as tight as it could be made, it's just a tossup between blocking all or dealing with the inbox load as easily as you can do. |
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By *arl17Man
over a year ago
Central Portugal |
"I prefer to get them in and ignore the very short, no effort messages - this can cut 1/3 out from being viewed.
Look at the profiles of the others and take a quick decision.
I only look when I'm happy to process a few - my time frames, not theirs.
I've decided that I prefer this to blocking all and searching for them, hoping that they will be interested in me.
Having no friends only pics reduces contact too.
The last few months have been more busy with men looking for wank fodder, so reducing your appeal to them is helpful. Other than blocking those who don't match your requirements from messaging you, which isn't as tight as it could be made, it's just a tossup between blocking all or dealing with the inbox load as easily as you can do. "
What the above poster said and lots more...
Good luck |
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"Couples,
We like to play with single men from time to time so we’d rather not block all single men from messaging us. That said, it’s relentless trying to administer them. We get loads of ‘how are you’ and ‘hey’ messages. We get loads of Friend requests from men without a message. 99 % don’t read our profile.
It’s ridiculous and we’re losing decent meets because we mass delete.
Does anyone have any tips?
Thanks in advance. "
people tell me to block men from messaging and go find the men you are interested in. if you message them first, they can reply. good luck. all us single ladies have same issues |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"It amazes me,why so many can be so shallow,they talk about single or married men,as if something they trod in,not everyone is as lucky to be overwhelmed with messages of interest,we can't all be Adonis's,or have a A level in English,we all here for fun & friendship,no need to take the moral high ground,
Yes, I'm shallow, I want to find men to fuck, not marry. So if I want an Adonis then that's what I'll look for.
I think you missed his point....... it’s the moaning about single men emailing , that he is complaining about.....
If a guy started a thread about how to manage bi males , bbw’s or ugly People emailing him..,,
The pitch forks and torches would be out.....
But nobody mentioned anyones looks or education until he said did. I don't tend to interact with people i'm not interested in fucking, unless they are friends, so I won't bother replying to those people.
Also, for the record, I don't complain about single men messaging me unless they are abusive and then I just giggle with my friends about them.
You are one of the better posters in the forums.... you tend to be consistent and balanced in your postings...."
As with everything  |
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"Couples,
We like to play with single men from time to time so we’d rather not block all single men from messaging us. That said, it’s relentless trying to administer them. We get loads of ‘how are you’ and ‘hey’ messages. We get loads of Friend requests from men without a message. 99 % don’t read our profile.
It’s ridiculous and we’re losing decent meets because we mass delete.
Does anyone have any tips?
Thanks in advance. "
Block them & search for them yourself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
If you don't want to mass block all men in order to avoid missing out on the good ones, probably the best tactic is to individually block the men who send the "hey" single messages and slowly over time you'll filter out all the wasters who you'll find will be repeat messaging you.
Same for random friend requests.
I've seen some people ask for key words in the subject heading to show the guy has even bothered to read the profile. Which saves you even having to waste time opening the message.
Alternatively you could just cut through all the red tape and message me instead because you'll find you won't need anyone else  |
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By *aughtycp1Couple
over a year ago
Leicestershire |
I (Mrs N) enjoy single guy play. But you definitely have to delete a lot on here. Any one liners "how are you" is a straight forward delete. I wish single guys realised how many women and couples recieve these type of message and wonder why they don't get a reply |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It can be tough on single guys but one or two word messages can feel disrespectful so instant delete. Would be good to hear from those guys in this thread to hear why they do it and what reaction they expect |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It can be tough on single guys but one or two word messages can feel disrespectful so instant delete. Would be good to hear from those guys in this thread to hear why they do it and what reaction they expect "
When trying to contact people with a first message I'm trying to maximise the number of replies I get for the effort I put in.
I can write long, well thought out, messages to a few people. Or, I can write very short messages to a lot of people in the same time.
With a long message, each rejection costs a lot more, and then perhaps hurts the ego more.
Whether the numbers game works depends on the size of the pool of people you'd be willing to meet. Especially with the internet, that pool is large and the chance of being ghosted high due to the degree of separation you have.
What I actually do is go for something in the middle, a quick couple of sentences usually, mentioning something on their profile. After the first message I try to approximate the length of their message. I've got a two word reply to a two paragraph message before and it was jarring and perhaps indicated we weren't likely to get on.
Despite the complaints, if you're telling men to do something that isn't working for them then they won't change. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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...I also think that because women are so in demand on here they can afford to be fussy, and if they're only after casual sex it's going to be a lot about physical looks. For the average guy it's going to be a non-starter regardless of how well you write a message.
If a guy is writing long personalised messages because lots of women have told him he should then I think that can lead to a sense of entitlement, you know "I'm doing everything they tell me, why oh why am I still being ignored?!?" 
The answer of course is because they're now coming across as desperate and needy.
The flip side is that if you are 6" tall, vwe, etc. you can probably write pretty crappy messages and get away with it. I'm guessing a fair few guys see the hypocrisy between what people say on here and what they do.
From my POV, part of developing some emotional intelligence is trying to see things from other's perspectives and understanding that this is how things are. Then I do what I think is right for me and try not to take it too personally if it doesn't work out. |
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By *ast_jjMan
over a year ago
Dublin and London |
I would suggest you block any guys who sends a blank friends request straight away.
Secondly just delete as soon as you open a message that is a hi, how are you, what are you into etc message. After that you should hopefully be left with messages from guys who put some effort into messaging you and who might be suit you both. |
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"Couples,
We like to play with single men from time to time so we’d rather not block all single men from messaging us. That said, it’s relentless trying to administer them. We get loads of ‘how are you’ and ‘hey’ messages. We get loads of Friend requests from men without a message. 99 % don’t read our profile.
It’s ridiculous and we’re losing decent meets because we mass delete.
Does anyone have any tips?
Thanks in advance. "
Block all single men and do your own search when looking for one problem solved |
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By *jonesMan
over a year ago
Plymouth |
"OP may I suggest you subscribe to a campaign for Fab to block first messages from men to women or couples that are less than a prescribed number of characters so that "How are you ?" etc is nowhere near long enough and also that you can't send a friends request until you receive a reply to a message ? .
They can just do..................................
Friends requests aren't a huge problem, just leave them where they are then they can't send another.
If someone filled the message with surplus dots to achieve a minimum character limit do you think they would get a reply? I was thinking it might prompt many to actually say something that might appeal to the OP. "
Other sites have a minimum word requirement on first messages to stop lots of hi how are you messages .
Would a filter of only allowing messages from verified people help...I know verifications don't necessarily mean a lot ... |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"OP may I suggest you subscribe to a campaign for Fab to block first messages from men to women or couples that are less than a prescribed number of characters so that "How are you ?" etc is nowhere near long enough and also that you can't send a friends request until you receive a reply to a message ? .
They can just do..................................
Friends requests aren't a huge problem, just leave them where they are then they can't send another.
If someone filled the message with surplus dots to achieve a minimum character limit do you think they would get a reply? I was thinking it might prompt many to actually say something that might appeal to the OP.
Other sites have a minimum word requirement on first messages to stop lots of hi how are you messages .
Would a filter of only allowing messages from verified people help...I know verifications don't necessarily mean a lot ..."
I don't think so, people just need to use filters. |
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"Couples,
We like to play with single men from time to time so we’d rather not block all single men from messaging us. That said, it’s relentless trying to administer them. We get loads of ‘how are you’ and ‘hey’ messages. We get loads of Friend requests from men without a message. 99 % don’t read our profile.
It’s ridiculous and we’re losing decent meets because we mass delete.
Does anyone have any tips?
Thanks in advance. "
On a single mans perspective the majority of women/couples never bother to answer,hence the short messages, why write chapter and verse when you don't get an answer? |
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By *lan157Man
over a year ago
a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex |
"Couples,
We like to play with single men from time to time so we’d rather not block all single men from messaging us. That said, it’s relentless trying to administer them. We get loads of ‘how are you’ and ‘hey’ messages. We get loads of Friend requests from men without a message. 99 % don’t read our profile.
It’s ridiculous and we’re losing decent meets because we mass delete.
Does anyone have any tips?
Thanks in advance.
On a single mans perspective the majority of women/couples never bother to answer,hence the short messages, why write chapter and verse when you don't get an answer?"
Why send a message af all if it's short and you don't expect an answer? Just clutters a woman's inbox and makes it unmanageable |
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By *WarmFirmHandsMan
over a year ago
London / East Mids / South of France |
You genuinely sum it up really well.
"...I also think that because women are so in demand on here they can afford to be fussy, and if they're only after casual sex it's going to be a lot about physical looks. For the average guy it's going to be a non-starter regardless of how well you write a message.
If a guy is writing long personalised messages because lots of women have told him he should then I think that can lead to a sense of entitlement, you know "I'm doing everything they tell me, why oh why am I still being ignored?!?"
The answer of course is because they're now coming across as desperate and needy.
The flip side is that if you are 6" tall, vwe, etc. you can probably write pretty crappy messages and get away with it. I'm guessing a fair few guys see the hypocrisy between what people say on here and what they do.
From my POV, part of developing some emotional intelligence is trying to see things from other's perspectives and understanding that this is how things are. Then I do what I think is right for me and try not to take it too personally if it doesn't work out."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If i may add my experience on Fab to the thread.
Always treated the first contact as the chance to make that all important first impression,always send a few face pic, otherwise how on earth can a lady/couple expect to see if they like the look of you.
AND yes i get knocked back the majority of the time, some i'm to far away, some the ladies are not looking to meet new guys and some quite simply that i'm not their type.
ITS LIFE
But the majority of people signing up to Fab simply expect folks to fall over themselves in the rush to meet.and yes single males are the majority.
I've met some lovely people by virtue of Fab, but only through having 'conversation' first then getting to know and taking an interest. It takes time alas for some they cant wait and so are unprepared for rejection where they should be prepared to invest time in seeking those who want to meet.
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By *_MariusMan
over a year ago
Currently Faraway |
My humble advice to you is, if you like those of us who seem decent enough to keep in touch with and you don't want to block all of us lol (I tried to reply to you privately), make your profile invisible for a few days until you are able to go through your emails--see which emails are worth replying to, even with a polite "no" and which ones should be outright deleted. |
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"My humble advice to you is, if you like those of us who seem decent enough to keep in touch with and you don't want to block all of us lol (I tried to reply to you privately), make your profile invisible for a few days until you are able to go through your emails--see which emails are worth replying to, even with a polite "no" and which ones should be outright deleted."
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By *lkmajikMan
over a year ago
Bournemouth |
"You genuinely sum it up really well....I also think that because women are so in demand on here they can afford to be fussy, and if they're only after casual sex it's going to be a lot about physical looks. For the average guy it's going to be a non-starter regardless of how well you write a message.
If a guy is writing long personalised messages because lots of women have told him he should then I think that can lead to a sense of entitlement, you know "I'm doing everything they tell me, why oh why am I still being ignored?!?"
The answer of course is because they're now coming across as desperate and needy.
The flip side is that if you are 6" tall, vwe, etc. you can probably write pretty crappy messages and get away with it. I'm guessing a fair few guys see the hypocrisy between what people say on here and what they do.
From my POV, part of developing some emotional intelligence is trying to see things from other's perspectives and understanding that this is how things are. Then I do what I think is right for me and try not to take it too personally if it doesn't work out."
Beautifully summed up |
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