FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Single male protcol
Single male protcol
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By *rhuges OP Man
over a year ago
Cardiff |
Right If you send a message to someone and they delete it that's fine.
Or sometimes you get a polite no thanks which is also fine .
What does it mean though if you're message is read not deleted for weeks but you get no reply?
Also you look at a profile and you literally tick all the boxes, I'm in pretty good shape for my age, yet it gets deleted in seconds which means you're not what they are looking for , but how can that be when you tick all the points they have asked for |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"you look at a profile and you literally tick all the boxes"
May be helpful to think about these boxes as a minimum requirement rather than a qualifier. Ultimately the only person that can say if someone ticks all boxes is the person themselves.
Unfortunately there is not much information to glean from read undeleted messages, everyone has a different way of managing their inbox. But if it's been many weeks it is highly unlikely you'll here from them as everything scrolls off. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I don't always delete all my messages. Just let them drop off the end. I'm lazy that way, but the result is the same ad if it's deleted. No reply I'm not interested.
As for ticking all the boxes, I need attraction. You may think you tick all the boxes but I may not be attracted to you. You have no control over that. Best to delete your sent messages. Less stress. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
There's a lot of single guys out there who tick all the boxes but just don't really do it for K, sometimes there are guys who we might meet in a club to see if there was an attraction in person but we wouldn't make an effort with otherwise and sometimes there are guys who tick all the boxes and we would make an effort with straight away.
Keep in mind that couples and single ladies can get dozens to hundreds of messages a day that taking time to reply to them and deleting those we are not interested in can be a total chore and from all of those messages asking to meet probably around half of them will turn out to be time wasters or guys who are going to mess us around. If you don't get a response to a message then don't overthink it, it simply shows they are not interested or nothing is likely to happen and the best thing to do is move on. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Right If you send a message to someone and they delete it that's fine.
Or sometimes you get a polite no thanks which is also fine .
What does it mean though if you're message is read not deleted for weeks but you get no reply?
Also you look at a profile and you literally tick all the boxes, I'm in pretty good shape for my age, yet it gets deleted in seconds which means you're not what they are looking for , but how can that be when you tick all the points they have asked for"
Straight delete on your message; block and move on.
Receive a polite ‘Thanks but no’; thank them for replying, then also block and move on.
Your message read, but not replied to? Try again in a week or so, but when they are online. If they read that and still don’t reply, they’re really not interested, so block and move on.
You may tick all their boxes, but they do need to like what they see. It’s not personal, just block and move on. Eventually you will whittle down to more likely potential meets  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"Right If you send a message to someone and they delete it that's fine.
Or sometimes you get a polite no thanks which is also fine .
What does it mean though if you're message is read not deleted for weeks but you get no reply?
Also you look at a profile and you literally tick all the boxes, I'm in pretty good shape for my age, yet it gets deleted in seconds which means you're not what they are looking for , but how can that be when you tick all the points they have asked for
Straight delete on your message; block and move on.
Receive a polite ‘Thanks but no’; thank them for replying, then also block and move on.
Your message read, but not replied to? Try again in a week or so, but when they are online. If they read that and still don’t reply, they’re really not interested, so block and move on.
You may tick all their boxes, but they do need to like what they see. It’s not personal, just block and move on. Eventually you will whittle down to more likely potential meets "
This |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Right If you send a message to someone and they delete it that's fine.
Or sometimes you get a polite no thanks which is also fine .
What does it mean though if you're message is read not deleted for weeks but you get no reply?
Also you look at a profile and you literally tick all the boxes, I'm in pretty good shape for my age, yet it gets deleted in seconds which means you're not what they are looking for , but how can that be when you tick all the points they have asked for"
You are not ticking all the boxes,you are only ticking the boxes they have mentioned,they obviously have other things they didn't care to mention or didn't want to make their profile too long.
As for read and not deleted? There could be any number of reasons,other half hasn't seen,they forgot to delete,they are saving it to reply to at a later date,they are waiting to see if you have the patience to wait and won't bombard them with messages,as I say any number of reasons. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *harAndBryCouple
over a year ago
Peterborough / Stamford |
Sometimes ours stay unread for ages while we wait for the other of us to catch up. Sometimes we've both read the message but one of us hasn't decided if the person might be right or not. It can take us, as a couple, three or four days sometimes to get the time together to clear up the mailbox.
And although you might still "tick all the boxes", you still might not be physically what someone is looking for. We've turned down guys that ought to fit the bill perfectly, simply for having too many dick pics, for looking "a bit too cocky" or for the state of the bedroom that the pics are taken in.
Bry (and Char) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sometimes ours stay unread for ages while we wait for the other of us to catch up. Sometimes we've both read the message but one of us hasn't decided if the person might be right or not. It can take us, as a couple, three or four days sometimes to get the time together to clear up the mailbox.
Bry (and Char)"
This 100%
So many single guys forget its a couple i.e 2 people with busy lives etc. We both need to read the message so if one has and thinks it has potential it gets left unread so the other half can also check it out. Then it can be a while before we are both available and in the mood to go through the inbox potentials.
By then the pushy men have revealed themselves so that in a way is a filter.
KJ x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Right If you send a message to someone and they delete it that's fine.
Or sometimes you get a polite no thanks which is also fine .
What does it mean though if you're message is read not deleted for weeks but you get no reply?
Also you look at a profile and you literally tick all the boxes, I'm in pretty good shape for my age, yet it gets deleted in seconds which means you're not what they are looking for , but how can that be when you tick all the points they have asked for"
I'd class that as, no attraction to your pictures... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Sometimes ours stay unread for ages while we wait for the other of us to catch up. Sometimes we've both read the message but one of us hasn't decided if the person might be right or not. It can take us, as a couple, three or four days sometimes to get the time together to clear up the mailbox.
Bry (and Char)
This 100%
So many single guys forget its a couple i.e 2 people with busy lives etc. We both need to read the message so if one has and thinks it has potential it gets left unread so the other half can also check it out. Then it can be a while before we are both available and in the mood to go through the inbox potentials.
By then the pushy men have revealed themselves so that in a way is a filter.
KJ x "
Very much agree with this, plus if messaging a couple then you have to appeal to both of them, there has to be an attraction so just because you think you tick all the boxes doesn't mean that you actually do.
We try to always respond politely to messages, even if it's a 'no thanks', but at times it is not easy because the quality or content of their message doesn't really inspire a response.
Generally we keep single men blocked unless we are actively looking for one, it saves us having to deal with an inbox full of messages,
K |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It's all subjective. Just because you "tick their boxes" doesn't mean you're entitled to a reply.
Yes it's very disheartening as a single man on here but just move on. You don't do yourself any favours looking like a needy person. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It’s all was better if the respondent reply’s with
Thanks but no thanks rather than nothing. Feels like you weren’t worthy of anything! But it’s a female/couples life on Fab and I appreciate they get lots of messages.
Be kind people. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It’s all was better if the respondent reply’s with
Thanks but no thanks rather than nothing. Feels like you weren’t worthy of anything! But it’s a female/couples life on Fab and I appreciate they get lots of messages.
Be kind people. "
To be fair,some messages just aren't worthy of a response
Not when their opening message is crude or crass
Not when they have messaged previously umpteen times and you have already said no
Not when they are asking something already answered on your profile
And not when they don't match what your profile is looking for
The sense of self entitlement from some guys on here is beyond belief. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
To be fair,some messages just aren't worthy of a response
Not when their opening message is crude or crass
Not when they have messaged previously umpteen times and you have already said no
Not when they are asking something already answered on your profile
And not when they don't match what your profile is looking for
The sense of self entitlement from some guys on here is beyond belief."
Exactly this, most of the messages we receive from single guys are either just have the line "hi, how you doing?", or are incredibly crude, or are the same person messaging the same single line over and over, there was one guy who sent us the same one line message 6 times in a row in the space of an hour on Sunday night!
It can be very tiresome working through so many messages like that and then if you do send a kind "thanks, but no thanks" to those messages where someone has put some effort in then there's still a high probability that you will get a rude reply or they start begging or pestering because you took the time to reply. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Right If you send a message to someone and they delete it that's fine.
Or sometimes you get a polite no thanks which is also fine .
What does it mean though if you're message is read not deleted for weeks but you get no reply?
Also you look at a profile and you literally tick all the boxes, I'm in pretty good shape for my age, yet it gets deleted in seconds which means you're not what they are looking for , but how can that be when you tick all the points they have asked for"
The forum is not the place to get answers. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Also don't forget to take into account what your messages say.
A "hi how are you" isn't going to get as much response as a message that shows you've read their profile. Had a look, tell them 2hat you like and a bit about yourself and why you think you would get on. And then leave it with an open opportunity to give them something to reply to.
Best of luck  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Right If you send a message to someone and they delete it that's fine.
Or sometimes you get a polite no thanks which is also fine .
What does it mean though if you're message is read not deleted for weeks but you get no reply?
Also you look at a profile and you literally tick all the boxes, I'm in pretty good shape for my age, yet it gets deleted in seconds which means you're not what they are looking for , but how can that be when you tick all the points they have asked for"
Desperate.com |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I have only truly connected with one person and that was from Instagram, and she was the reason I joined fab lol
Since joining fab I haven't had the chance to connect with anyone else and I think it's difficult to do so away from a club or social gathering event.
It's not just one guy getting all the replies, and it's not just one guy getting no replies. We're all the same but also very different.
I'd like to meet a couple or single woman for fun and frolics but unless they see something they like about me I'm just going to have to wait.
I only know of one female so far that replies to nearly all and she's the one I know very well.
But if you're rude, crude and show dick pic's from the start no woman or couple will EVER give you the time of day, and rightly so! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The best ones are the ones that read them then click mark unread. Very sneaky some of these women  "
I do that if I don't have the time right then to do the reply I want to. Its not sneeky and the fact it wasn't a delete is in my eyes a positive thing. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
They might just be in a bad mood that day....
The next day they have another 250 mails waiting for them.
A bulk delete once a week when their mailbox is full isnt unheard of.
You are a big boy there are plenty of fish, just shrug your shoulders and deal with it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"you look at a profile and you literally tick all the boxes
May be helpful to think about these boxes as a minimum requirement rather than a qualifier. Ultimately the only person that can say if someone ticks all boxes is the person themselves.
Unfortunately there is not much information to glean from read undeleted messages, everyone has a different way of managing their inbox. But if it's been many weeks it is highly unlikely you'll here from them as everything scrolls off. "
This...but if you must maybe just send a question mark. If it gets a reply then great...if it gets deleted or ignored again then you have your answer....don't bother them any further |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
