FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Safeguarding unsuspecting wives (and separating the wheat from the chaff..)
Safeguarding unsuspecting wives (and separating the wheat from the chaff..)
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We have introduced a mechanism to help safeguard poor unsuspecting wives from overly keen and greedy husbands that use their wives/girlfriends’ pictures to hook up with couples...
We know that verifications are one way of doing this, but they are not always current and does not actually mean that they female half is actually interested in contact you and it’s just a wishful bloke trying to get access to your private gallery.
Our technique consists in sharing a “dedicated” photo of the Mrs to ensure that the other Mrs is actually involved. too often we get invites from wishful hubbies and the Mrs is totally clueless of what is going on. It’s to safeguard the other Mrs and hopefully shouldn’t be a problem for her to reciprocate the one we’ve attached.
The dedicated photo does not have to be nude or sexual ( although it can help with the mood... ), as long as it’s clear it is a women and not a CD... lol and is holding a photo of our Mrs (or even Mr if she wishes..!)..
It’s not a difficult thing to do if the other Mrs is onboard and can also be fun. We regularly introduce ourselves this way. It gives the other couple reassurance that we are all onboard and separates the wheat from the chaff as we said... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You ask for a picture of the woman holding a picture of your wife? Have I got that right? "
I apologise to all, obviously I have not explained myself well enough. Yes, fundamentally that is what we are asking, but not as a substitution for verifications, that have a place but are not totally reliable, as they can be out of date. People split up and move on. What we mean is preventing wishful husbands who are using their wives’ (potentially even ex partners) photos possibly unknowingly. As a demo, Nice couple we will send you a private message to prove that Minnie is onboard. By the way hadn’t realised you are so close  |
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Yes I think after recent issues we will have to implement something (that isn't jumping through hoops) before we do any serious pic or info sharing.
We have become acutely aware of the issue of the female being unaware, it's just a case of working out the simplest way to combat it. A phone call may be the best route. |
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Thats fine if you have time for socials.
We grab the handful of hours we get without kids and have to maximise these so tend to vet more online and have sensible exit-plans if we hit a problem in the physical meet.
Perhaps another thing to consider though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We wouldn't jump through hoops for anyone.
Nor us but to be fair nobody had ever asked us to "
Same apart from a couple of times where We've been asked to do FF cam to verify but declined. Its pretty easy meeting as a couple so we can't be bothered with all the drama. |
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"Nah. Don't jump thro hoops to prove we are genuine. Must be fake then. "
Must admit that we would probably cut the conversation at that stage. Nothing against the suggestion and it comes from a good place, but that's a lot of wives that would feel like they'd be posing to prove themselves. |
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"We wouldn't jump through hoops for anyone.
Nor us but to be fair nobody had ever asked us to
Same apart from a couple of times where We've been asked to do FF cam to verify but declined. Its pretty easy meeting as a couple so we can't be bothered with all the drama."
I think someone asked us to do a F to F phone call once. We said no and they still met us lol. Amusingly we realised at the social that the woman wasn't keen on the idea at all. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Wishful husband...I
In our experience some women sabotage meets somehow rather than say outright they don't want to do it. We have also met couples where the guy doesn't want to either."
Interesting, but not too surprising (bar the guy not interested...!) lol
We’ll we seem to be getting lots of positive feedback from couples and most of the serious couples that contact us seem willing to reciprocate. It adds some fun too and definitely helps reassure both couples that everyone is onboard. Those who haven’t were either not too seriously about it, or were probably on their own and the alleged partner was not interested.. so we got rid of a time waster..!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nah. Don't jump thro hoops to prove we are genuine. Must be fake then.
100% this.
I’m not here to perform on demand. Maybe I’m really a bloke in disguise?!  "
Nope, seen you in person, you are definitely female.  |
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"We have introduced a mechanism to help safeguard poor unsuspecting wives from overly keen and greedy husbands that use their wives/girlfriends’ pictures to hook up with couples...
We know that verifications are one way of doing this, but they are not always current and does not actually mean that they female half is actually interested in contact you and it’s just a wishful bloke trying to get access to your private gallery.
Our technique consists in sharing a “dedicated” photo of the Mrs to ensure that the other Mrs is actually involved. too often we get invites from wishful hubbies and the Mrs is totally clueless of what is going on. It’s to safeguard the other Mrs and hopefully shouldn’t be a problem for her to reciprocate the one we’ve attached.
The dedicated photo does not have to be nude or sexual ( although it can help with the mood... ), as long as it’s clear it is a women and not a CD... lol and is holding a photo of our Mrs (or even Mr if she wishes..!)..
It’s not a difficult thing to do if the other Mrs is onboard and can also be fun. We regularly introduce ourselves this way. It gives the other couple reassurance that we are all onboard and separates the wheat from the chaff as we said..."
I appreciate what you’re trying to achieve and that verifications photo verification & a couples account could be out of date & have changed but there’s no way on earth I could be bothered with all those extra photos
I’m a technophobe uploading our original Ines was a faff (we try and update 1 or two a year as like you said things changes (hair, body shape etc) but like others have said it really feels like your making a potential meet jump through hoops
Surely an easier option and less fustrating for your potential meets if they aren’t fake is simply to tell any blokes that do turn up solo to s0d off
MrsB |
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We usually ask for a phone chat between the girls (if it gets that far) failing that a pic of each others choice proving we all who we say we are.
But suggestion of quick phone chat usually sees the fakes dissappear lol |
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"We usually ask for a phone chat between the girls (if it gets that far) failing that a pic of each others choice proving we all who we say we are.
But suggestion of quick phone chat usually sees the fakes dissappear lol"
Declining a phone call doesn't make someone fake. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We usually ask for a phone chat between the girls (if it gets that far) failing that a pic of each others choice proving we all who we say we are.
But suggestion of quick phone chat usually sees the fakes dissappear lol
Declining a phone call doesn't make someone fake."
Agree with this... I would personally decline any offer of a phone call or video chat through whatsapp/kik etc etc. (fem here btw).
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We wouldn’t do this, can image exactly what the wife would say
We are photo verified, have verification from people we have met and would be happy to have a video or phone chat if the conversation is flowing.
Take it this makes us fake?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We stick to the clubs and socials so there is no need for fafing about with pictures."
This is us too...
Can’t wait to get back, going to give it a few weeks to see how things “pan out” plus with work need to watch the £’s  |
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By *osweet69Couple
over a year ago
portsmouth |
"I the mrs will always state that I’m happy to have a quick fem to fem talk to verify we are indeed a couple even if it’s just to give the ok for you to chat to my partner x it’s quick and easy "
It is amazing how many ladies are not willing to do this.
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"I the mrs will always state that I’m happy to have a quick fem to fem talk to verify we are indeed a couple even if it’s just to give the ok for you to chat to my partner x it’s quick and easy It is amazing how many ladies are not willing to do this. "
Why? For a start, the woman I'd talk to may not be the one you turn up with.
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"I the mrs will always state that I’m happy to have a quick fem to fem talk to verify we are indeed a couple even if it’s just to give the ok for you to chat to my partner x it’s quick and easy It is amazing how many ladies are not willing to do this.
Why? For a start, the woman I'd talk to may not be the one you turn up with.
"
By that reasoning, photos can also be faked (deep faked), identities changed etc. ... I don’t think we’d have an issue with an F to F chat if we were asked, particularly if we were travelling a distance, I don’t think that’s “performing”. |
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"I the mrs will always state that I’m happy to have a quick fem to fem talk to verify we are indeed a couple even if it’s just to give the ok for you to chat to my partner x it’s quick and easy It is amazing how many ladies are not willing to do this.
Why? For a start, the woman I'd talk to may not be the one you turn up with.
By that reasoning, photos can also be faked (deep faked), identities changed etc. ... I don’t think we’d have an issue with an F to F chat if we were asked, particularly if we were travelling a distance, I don’t think that’s “performing”. "
It's all fake until proven otherwise and how someone chooses to do that is up to them. The statement above yours said they were amazed that some people choose not to talk to someone. |
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"Nah. Don't jump thro hoops to prove we are genuine. Must be fake then.
100% this.
I’m not here to perform on demand. Maybe I’m really a bloke in disguise?! "
This. It’s a little infuriating. Constantly being accused of being fake.
I just lose interest immediately then get several messages of abuse. I’m not here to chase or bow to every whim. Just wanted a chat at first.... |
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"Sounds complicated
I just ask for them to hold something random up I’ve selected or a hand signal to their face / faces
No method is without flaws but I go on instinct mainly "
We now use this approach before going too far. It might be equally appropriate for the Op and get round the printing etc hassle
TBF Op sees/has had a specific issue when dealing with couples where partner is not part of the play, and veris cannot reflect. In our short time on here one couple become a single who split into two males of different ages/locations. And that was with verifications. So a flawed system in a specific area.
Have to also say that given ratios on here, expecting any female to validate beyond breathing is more than most would hope for |
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By *ustylouWoman
over a year ago
Aylesbury |
I had a conversation with a couple a few weeks ago from my couple's profile. They asked for photos immediately. I dont keep pics on my phone but my partner does so I said he would send them over later. They then asked for a phone call. Kids were around so I declined. Went back a day later when we were together to find we had either been blocked or couple unlos.
It's not always possible to verify in the time frame people want. I dont exactly sit around in my underwear ready for pics just in case. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had a conversation with a couple a few weeks ago from my couple's profile. They asked for photos immediately. I dont keep pics on my phone but my partner does so I said he would send them over later. They then asked for a phone call. Kids were around so I declined. Went back a day later when we were together to find we had either been blocked or couple unlos.
It's not always possible to verify in the time frame people want. I dont exactly sit around in my underwear ready for pics just in case. "
Exactly this. We keep those kind of pics on his phone cause the kids more likely to play with my phone. I get that there are tons of catfish but that's why we use socials. |
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"Sounds complicated
I just ask for them to hold something random up I’ve selected or a hand signal to their face / faces
No method is without flaws but I go on instinct mainly
We now use this approach before going too far. It might be equally appropriate for the Op and get round the printing etc hassle
TBF Op sees/has had a specific issue when dealing with couples where partner is not part of the play, and veris cannot reflect. In our short time on here one couple become a single who split into two males of different ages/locations. And that was with verifications. So a flawed system in a specific area.
Have to also say that given ratios on here, expecting any female to validate beyond breathing is more than most would hope for "
Trust me I’ve had issues with single guys not even being the person in the pics so there’s always someone trying to pull a fast one
For myself having been on here 7 years and well verified right through from hosting club nights. Socials and play meets I personally would’nt feel the need to have to verify myself
However if I was a newbie , limited sketchy veris and lack of content / photos in my profile I would fully expect to have to prove I am whom I’m pertaining to be  |
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"We have introduced a mechanism to help safeguard poor unsuspecting wives from overly keen and greedy husbands that use their wives/girlfriends’ pictures to hook up with couples...
We know that verifications are one way of doing this, but they are not always current and does not actually mean that they female half is actually interested in contact you and it’s just a wishful bloke trying to get access to your private gallery.
Our technique consists in sharing a “dedicated” photo of the Mrs to ensure that the other Mrs is actually involved. too often we get invites from wishful hubbies and the Mrs is totally clueless of what is going on. It’s to safeguard the other Mrs and hopefully shouldn’t be a problem for her to reciprocate the one we’ve attached.
The dedicated photo does not have to be nude or sexual ( although it can help with the mood... ), as long as it’s clear it is a women and not a CD... lol and is holding a photo of our Mrs (or even Mr if she wishes..!)..
It’s not a difficult thing to do if the other Mrs is onboard and can also be fun. We regularly introduce ourselves this way. It gives the other couple reassurance that we are all onboard and separates the wheat from the chaff as we said..."
We use common sense ..and get the ladies to chat on the phone early doors if a meet of any kind is on the cards |
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"Sounds complicated
I just ask for them to hold something random up I’ve selected or a hand signal to their face / faces
No method is without flaws but I go on instinct mainly
We now use this approach before going too far. It might be equally appropriate for the Op and get round the printing etc hassle
TBF Op sees/has had a specific issue when dealing with couples where partner is not part of the play, and veris cannot reflect. In our short time on here one couple become a single who split into two males of different ages/locations. And that was with verifications. So a flawed system in a specific area.
Have to also say that given ratios on here, expecting any female to validate beyond breathing is more than most would hope for
Trust me I’ve had issues with single guys not even being the person in the pics so there’s always someone trying to pull a fast one
For myself having been on here 7 years and well verified right through from hosting club nights. Socials and play meets I personally would’nt feel the need to have to verify myself
However if I was a newbie , limited sketchy veris and lack of content / photos in my profile I would fully expect to have to prove I am whom I’m pertaining to be "
Touche. Therein lies the challenge. Two wholly different profiles and approaches to Fab, one undeniably up front (having just read yours - kudos) the other almost anonymous. My SO actively enjoys not showing much, but being sexy as f*ck in private, deliberately living two lifestyles (a clue in the username). Still we all have same issue about how to prove both parties other side consent when only one actively plays.  |
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"I the mrs will always state that I’m happy to have a quick fem to fem talk to verify we are indeed a couple even if it’s just to give the ok for you to chat to my partner x it’s quick and easy It is amazing how many ladies are not willing to do this. "
Why is it amazing? I’m expected to share my phone number with strangers because they have trust issues? No thanks. I don’t give my phone number out to anyone I don’t know.
This kind of palaver is why clubs are so much easier than the minefield you get on here!  |
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"I the mrs will always state that I’m happy to have a quick fem to fem talk to verify we are indeed a couple even if it’s just to give the ok for you to chat to my partner x it’s quick and easy It is amazing how many ladies are not willing to do this.
Why is it amazing? I’m expected to share my phone number with strangers because they have trust issues? No thanks. I don’t give my phone number out to anyone I don’t know.
This kind of palaver is why clubs are so much easier than the minefield you get on here! "
We find this. The minute people start demanding phone calls or video chats, we are out. Pushiness is a no no for us and if people choose to believe we aren't genuine, we will stick to clubs |
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By *osweet69Couple
over a year ago
portsmouth |
"I the mrs will always state that I’m happy to have a quick fem to fem talk to verify we are indeed a couple even if it’s just to give the ok for you to chat to my partner x it’s quick and easy It is amazing how many ladies are not willing to do this.
Why is it amazing? I’m expected to share my phone number with strangers because they have trust issues? No thanks. I don’t give my phone number out to anyone I don’t know.
This kind of palaver is why clubs are so much easier than the minefield you get on here! "
We were just stating a fact, no more that. However it would be interesting to know how you get to know someone via this site before you meet. In a club do you not chat before you decide to play?
And if you have trust issues there is also no need for you to give out your phone number. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sounds like a lot of hassle how would some people even get the pic to be holding not everyone has a printer I haven't owned one for years I have no need for one
If you are not sure about someone then don't let them see your private gallery till you feel comfortable
It's nice to have a quick conversation on phone if a meets been arranged so you know it a genuine couple as it's annoying when you get let down,im glad to say never had just guy turn up when it's ment to be a couple
until a meet is arranged I can't see the need to prove yourself for maybe an exchange of half a dozen message for conversation just to fizzle out, yes it's annoying to waste time on message but it would waste more time having to prove yourself to everyone you was messaging |
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If it works for you, great.
Personally we've had no issues (so far) and will stick to public meets if we are in any doubt. If someone doubts us, that is their problem. If we doubt someone else, we just wont meet. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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it’s not a phaff... you don’t need a printer... just 2 smartphones.. and if you’re a couple one would assume you have one each...
with Fab you can quickly upload a photo directly to the message without having to wait for it to be adm8n approved...
and it’s a damn sight quicker than going to a meet and finding out:
1) they don’t exist
2) it a weired guy just there to perv..
3) there is a Mrs but she has no interest really in you...
it’s not bullet proof, but helps... |
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