FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > How?????????
How?????????
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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On so over the last week I have messaged 50 women within a 20 mile radius. I messaged them when they were online with a polite and simple message about me and about meeting when possible. Nothing vulgar or rude.
90% of the messages were left unread or read and not replied too. Of the remaining five 3 rallied and said no thank you and 2 replied but said not interested after seeing a face photo.
So 100% of those messaged said no. How do you manage to get to chat to someone let alone meet them??
To me it seems impossible. |
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Many women read the profile before deciding whether to reply to a message. That may explain why a large portion go unread. Not saying it is, just that it might be.
Many women have a lot of messages to get through, especially if they post new pics or go in chat. Yours may have dropped off, and not be seen. Again, explains why it goes unread.
As for the ones who politely turned you down, get over it, it happens.
Basically it is a numbers game. Make yourself stand out with your photos, your profile and your messages, and you might up your stakes a little. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s a woman’s world on Fab! They have the pick and well, ratio is around 1,000,000,00 -1 ;p
Keep plugging away, each out to those you like the look off and see similar interests in their profile. One day...maybe one day, your find the one!
Good luck, be safe. |
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By *ebwizMan
over a year ago
Clevedon |
"Plus most lady’s will look at profile see a guy who can’t accom and think another married guy looking for a quick fuck
Sad but true  "
. I understand that, I am married, my wife prefers not to swing now, but happy for me too. However I can't accommodate with teens still living at home. As for meets have never managed it messaging women on here. Sexual encounters have been in a club or more successful private parties. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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50 women is not that much when you think about it. If you approached every single woman you walked past in a day, how many of them would accept your advances? Not saying it in a rude way or implying anything, just saying for example if any person walked into a bar chances are there would only be less than a handful of people they'd be compatible with sexually, no matter what they look like. And there's a hell of a lot more than 50 people in the average bar.
On the bright side, at least these women are telling you no straight away rather than stringing you along and then ghosting at the last minute. I've had that happen far more than I've had immediate rejections and trust me it's way more frustrating  |
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A polite and respectful message doesn't always mean the intention is good or respectful.
I get many nice messages from men asking to meet, most are not rude but the vast majority are worded because they assume I'm some sort of disposable fuck toy. They've also completely ignored my profile which tells me they are not interested in me, only in getting their cock wet.
When I point that out, they blame me and my choices (if I've forgotten to block them).
Are you attaching a face pic with every first message?
As mentioned before, most women will look at your profile first and make the decision to reply then.
My personal rule is no face pic = no reply but if I do, I always send one of mine, my face and body are a bit of a mismatch!
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Fab is a woman's game. Ratios are extremely biased. However, here are some top tips;
Have good photos and a good profile.
Do not send shit messages. Craft great messages. Make your messages stand out. Bizarre messages stick out. Non sexual messages stick out.
Ask female friends for help and assistance if need be.
When you do catch one (for want of a better word), DO NOT fuss! Play it extremely cool. Do not be sexual, don't pay too much attention and do not compliment! Do not be too interested.
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I think posts like this always assume that there is a secret method to success. I think it is half effort in your profile and message, and half luck. Personally I'm selective about who i message and when, as there is a definite amount of self resilience needed to cope with rejection, and I need to be in a happy go lucky mood, which hopefully is reflected in my messages. I keep my hot list active waiting for those moments.
To message 50 women would be close to spamming I think. I would do 3 or 4 at most and keep those very specific.
Mind you, what do I know?! |
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"On so over the last week I have messaged 50 women within a 20 mile radius. I messaged them when they were online with a polite and simple message about me and about meeting when possible. Nothing vulgar or rude.
90% of the messages were left unread or read and not replied too. Of the remaining five 3 rallied and said no thank you and 2 replied but said not interested after seeing a face photo.
So 100% of those messaged said no. How do you manage to get to chat to someone let alone meet them??
To me it seems impossible."
Are you doing copy and paste? If so that’s why? You need to write the message to suit her profile. Put in the work and you get results OP. |
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"On so over the last week I have messaged 50 women within a 20 mile radius. I messaged them when they were online with a polite and simple message about me and about meeting when possible. Nothing vulgar or rude.
90% of the messages were left unread or read and not replied too. Of the remaining five 3 rallied and said no thank you and 2 replied but said not interested after seeing a face photo.
So 100% of those messaged said no. How do you manage to get to chat to someone let alone meet them??
To me it seems impossible."
I feel your frustration on this one! I hope you find what you're looking for soon |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Example of my daily life on here on a busy day :
Recieves 100 messages
Of those delete boring messages, anything that's been copied and pasted.
Delete any message with dick pics
Delete any message of someone I am not attracted to.
By the time I'm left with the messages I MAY like or want to reply to, check the profiles and whittle it down again.
By the end of this out of 100 messages I probably get left with 3.
Of those 3 before I get into conversation it's really down to Attraction.
If there is not an immediate attraction then I don't have time on here to see if it builds just through chat.
For women we have all the choice so naturally we will choose what we want, traits, looks, distance, based off pictures, verifications ect
Meaning as man yes you are going to struggle.
One of the most off putting things you can do is complain about it.
For myself I do also keep an eye on forum posts - if I see someone complaining about how many messages they put out and get nothing back its an instant no.
The guys that get this site and understand it have real patience when dealing with us, they are successful because they are not desperate and put in the work when they do get an elusive response.
Yes you may be sending out hundreds of messages daily and yes it's probably frustrating but it's all down to personal choice and it's unfortunate that men outweigh women on here so much. |
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By *latinumkittenWoman
over a year ago
from Home Counties to Middle Earth |
"Example of my daily life on here on a busy day :
Recieves 100 messages
Of those delete boring messages, anything that's been copied and pasted.
Delete any message with dick pics
Delete any message of someone I am not attracted to.
By the time I'm left with the messages I MAY like or want to reply to, check the profiles and whittle it down again.
By the end of this out of 100 messages I probably get left with 3.
Of those 3 before I get into conversation it's really down to Attraction.
If there is not an immediate attraction then I don't have time on here to see if it builds just through chat.
For women we have all the choice so naturally we will choose what we want, traits, looks, distance, based off pictures, verifications ect
Meaning as man yes you are going to struggle.
One of the most off putting things you can do is complain about it.
For myself I do also keep an eye on forum posts - if I see someone complaining about how many messages they put out and get nothing back its an instant no.
The guys that get this site and understand it have real patience when dealing with us, they are successful because they are not desperate and put in the work when they do get an elusive response.
Yes you may be sending out hundreds of messages daily and yes it's probably frustrating but it's all down to personal choice and it's unfortunate that men outweigh women on here so much. "
This ^
It can also just come down to timing. Some weeks my life is busy/stressful and I really can't be doing with engaging with anyone new. I'll come on here just for the forums and to chat with friends. Catch me on a good day and I'll have time to chat.
You'll never know why you get left unread/rejected/deleted. Sometimes it's really not personal.
Socials (when they can happen again) are a great way to get yourself in front of people and make a few connections. Above anything else, stay positive |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On so over the last week I have messaged 50 women within a 20 mile radius. I messaged them when they were online with a polite and simple message about me and about meeting when possible. Nothing vulgar or rude.
90% of the messages were left unread or read and not replied too. Of the remaining five 3 rallied and said no thank you and 2 replied but said not interested after seeing a face photo.
So 100% of those messaged said no. How do you manage to get to chat to someone let alone meet them??
To me it seems impossible."
Do you really ask people about meeting in a first message? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The majority of women I've contacted and met just like the chase and being flattered, very few will actually have sex with anyone . Occasionally a genuine sexy woman will pop up but a lot of them are hid behind a partner |
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"The majority of women I've contacted and met just like the chase and being flattered, very few will actually have sex with anyone . Occasionally a genuine sexy woman will pop up but a lot of them are hid behind a partner "
Very true, over 90% of "real" single women on here have a partner or a FB who they meet with, they're not actually single  |
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If you manage your expectations, you remain more in control.
People haven't been meeting for months with priorities being health, family and work.
You have to decide if you are willing to work with it, when you as a single male are in abundance. Changing your approach is useful. Creating your profile to sell you the best that you can is important as people look at it before a message. |
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"The majority of women I've contacted and met just like the chase and being flattered, very few will actually have sex with anyone . Occasionally a genuine sexy woman will pop up but a lot of them are hid behind a partner Very true, over 90% of "real" single women on here have a partner or a FB who they meet with, they're not actually single "
Am i missing something? What does that matter, it's a swinging site! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You are lucky to get a reply from anyone in a 20 mile radius, I found they tend to be deleted out of hand. Keep trying and hopefully you will find someone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Fab is a woman's game. Ratios are extremely biased. However, here are some top tips;
Have good photos and a good profile.
Do not send shit messages. Craft great messages. Make your messages stand out. Bizarre messages stick out. Non sexual messages stick out.
Ask female friends for help and assistance if need be.
When you do catch one (for want of a better word), DO NOT fuss! Play it extremely cool. Do not be sexual, don't pay too much attention and do not compliment! Do not be too interested.
Love this
"
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The majority of women I've contacted and met just like the chase and being flattered, very few will actually have sex with anyone . Occasionally a genuine sexy woman will pop up but a lot of them are hid behind a partner Very true, over 90% of "real" single women on here have a partner or a FB who they meet with, they're not actually single
Am i missing something? What does that matter, it's a swinging site!"
well it's hardly swinging if they don't meet for sex |
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"The majority of women I've contacted and met just like the chase and being flattered, very few will actually have sex with anyone . Occasionally a genuine sexy woman will pop up but a lot of them are hid behind a partner Very true, over 90% of "real" single women on here have a partner or a FB who they meet with, they're not actually single
Am i missing something? What does that matter, it's a swinging site!well it's hardly swinging if they don't meet for sex "
The interpretation of what constitutes swinging is down to the individual to decide, not you. |
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You may think your message is appealing but we have had some terrible ones that the senders must have thought were OK. It could be that your messages and profile don't come across in the way you think they do.
I suggest you post here one of your introductory messages and we can give you feedback on it. I have suggested this to many people but hardly anybody takes it up.
First messages are important so I highly recommend you seek advice on yours. I also recommend looking at lots of profile advice that is available on the forum. |
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"You are lucky to get a reply from anyone in a 20 mile radius, I found they tend to be deleted out of hand. Keep trying and hopefully you will find someone."
I’m lucky if I get 2 messages a day from guys and I’m a woman! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"On so over the last week I have messaged 50 women within a 20 mile radius. I messaged them when they were online with a polite and simple message about me and about meeting when possible. Nothing vulgar or rude.
90% of the messages were left unread or read and not replied too. Of the remaining five 3 rallied and said no thank you and 2 replied but said not interested after seeing a face photo.
So 100% of those messaged said no. How do you manage to get to chat to someone let alone meet them??
To me it seems impossible."
I know it's a cliché but when they reopen get yourself to a club, best thing I ever did,got some action and saw one hell of a show by one couple and got 3 veris after my first visit on my previous account, I'm not that attractive but people at clubs are a little more forgiving ,maybe the club atmosphere gets the ladies a bit more horny who knows? |
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