FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > It's not hard!!!
It's not hard!!!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Why are people so against reading profiles, it's driving us nuts!!! It's obvious when people haven't, and if theycant be bothered with that why would they be bothered with you anywhere else!? Anyone else frustrated??? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes all the time especially those that ask me what am I up to today but my status says what I am doing, if they cannot read the status, they really aint going to read the profile  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I get mail from married men who clearly haven't read my profile! I take the time to read profiles and if I don't meet their requirements I just move on..
profiles with absolutely no info get ignored too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am the same, I even added a note on my profile saying when sending a message quote the word 'Cinamon' in a message, but you wouldnt believe how many dont, its very frustrating and just shows how desperate some people are.! |
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By *habsMan
over a year ago
Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex |
I'm afraid these are all related events. It is called The Law of Fab Sod: that which you do not seek is what you will get - for some reason I keep getting bi guys tv/ts thinking I should be interested in them, so I just block without reply. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am the same, I even added a note on my profile saying when sending a message quote the word 'Cinamon' in a message, but you wouldnt believe how many dont, its very frustrating and just shows how desperate some people are.!"
Great idea I might do simular as I fed up of non readers too |
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"I am the same, I even added a note on my profile saying when sending a message quote the word 'Cinamon' in a message, but you wouldnt believe how many dont, its very frustrating and just shows how desperate some people are.!"
we read profiles but tend not to email people with these kind of "must do's" in their profile, we just find them very tedious. On a site like this a message is a good indicator of wether you want to meet them or not, if it is clear they have not read your profile then as the op says, whats the chances of meeting them anywhere else! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I get mail from married men who clearly haven't read my profile! I take the time to read profiles and if I don't meet their requirements I just move on..
profiles with absolutely no info get ignored too "
Most are married on here, surprised when I don't hear from them lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I despair at the 'hi how RU' it's awfully dull 
Really Fia? That kinda message makes my knickers shoot straight off my foo involuntarily    hiya ladies how are you? Sorry couldn't resist x"
Theirs always one!!! |
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By *eon85Man
over a year ago
Manchester |
Just to play devils advocate though. I understand the whole reading the profile malarkey but if somebody messages you saying "how are you?" maybe it is just to see what the reaction is like. Life is too short to write paragraph after paragraph just to have it ignored or deleted. I find a general hiya message is sufficient at 1st and then if the interest is there proceed with interesting convo. Just my view |
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made me laugh today when someone sent me a message saying he'd love to meet me, was i interested? i referred him to my status and the response was to tell me that i'm fit and would i meet him? 
fraid the block button got used again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why are people so against reading profiles, it's driving us nuts!!! It's obvious when people haven't, and if theycant be bothered with that why would they be bothered with you anywhere else!? Anyone else frustrated???"
We get very frustrated when we get a message saying... Hiya we love your profile and pics... But when we read there profile they wont meet smokers.. so if they have looked and pics and profile im sure they would of seen that we both smoke  some times we message back saying Thanks for the message its a shame you dont meet smokers (incase its a mistake on their part) or we ignore and delete  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe fab could use technology to solve this problem??
Perhaps they could have a timer on the page that stopped you clicking on 'message' button for one minute after landing on the page...
With a minute to spare most people would have to read the profile..
It would sort out those who we're genuine from the hoards of desperate men seeking pics |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just to play devils advocate though. I understand the whole reading the profile malarkey but if somebody messages you saying "how are you?" maybe it is just to see what the reaction is like. Life is too short to write paragraph after paragraph just to have it ignored or deleted. I find a general hiya message is sufficient at 1st and then if the interest is there proceed with interesting convo. Just my view"
If these "Hi how are you?" messages were a rarity (ie unique) I'll be more prone to reply through politeness.
But sadly, they are way too common and unimaginitive to grab attention. "Hi how are you?" is a conversation opener. If you have say 10 (which we'd say is average for us when filters are off) of these messages a day... you'll end up having 10 conversations ...and potentially have these guys thinking they are going to end up essentially 'in my pants'.
I'd sooner give attention to someone that reads the profile and sends a more personal message as they are showing 'real' interest in me and my man.
We NEVER ignore a first message that is personal to us and from someone that matches our criteria.... they've made an effort and are not chancing it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe fab could use technology to solve this problem??
Perhaps they could have a timer on the page that stopped you clicking on 'message' button for one minute after landing on the page...
With a minute to spare most people would have to read the profile..
It would sort out those who we're genuine from the hoards of desperate men seeking pics "
What a Fab idea  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just to play devils advocate though. I understand the whole reading the profile malarkey but if somebody messages you saying "how are you?" maybe it is just to see what the reaction is like. Life is too short to write paragraph after paragraph just to have it ignored or deleted. I find a general hiya message is sufficient at 1st and then if the interest is there proceed with interesting convo. Just my view"
Oh yeah, forgot to say ....your pic might be getting you away with murder PHWOOOOOAAARRRR!!!! 
Yes, I know ....shallow  |
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To be fair I always read profiles before messaging and its made bugger all diffrence to the replies I get. To me the big disaster isn't people not reading but people not replying even if its just no its better than nothing. I agree people should read profiles but then I struggle to support the side thats causing an equally irritating problem. |
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By *hinaManMan
over a year ago
Twickenham |
I don't personally write "Hi, how are you?" but I can understand why some guys to that.
I try to bring in what is mentioned on the profile into my first messge to show that I have taken the time to read carefully. However, it is rather disheartening when you spend 10mins to write a well constructed message only to see the message gets deleted right away. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just to play devils advocate though. I understand the whole reading the profile malarkey but if somebody messages you saying "how are you?" maybe it is just to see what the reaction is like. Life is too short to write paragraph after paragraph just to have it ignored or deleted. I find a general hiya message is sufficient at 1st and then if the interest is there proceed with interesting convo. Just my view"
Would that be the reason that after a year of membership, you don't have one verification? |
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By *hinaManMan
over a year ago
Twickenham |
He might have loads of verifications, they are just hidden.
"Just to play devils advocate though. I understand the whole reading the profile malarkey but if somebody messages you saying "how are you?" maybe it is just to see what the reaction is like. Life is too short to write paragraph after paragraph just to have it ignored or deleted. I find a general hiya message is sufficient at 1st and then if the interest is there proceed with interesting convo. Just my view
Would that be the reason that after a year of membership, you don't have one verification?"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To be fair I always read profiles before messaging and its made bugger all diffrence to the replies I get. To me the big disaster isn't people not reading but people not replying even if its just no its better than nothing. I agree people should read profiles but then I struggle to support the side thats causing an equally irritating problem."
A lot of ladies and couples will be conscious of the fact that once you reply to someone the message filters will become useless if that person 'forgets' they have had a polite 'no thanks'.
Scenario:
Single male: I would love to meet you.
Single female: sorry, I'm not interested. Good luck!
Single male: ok thanks
(Single female decides to block single men because she feels overwhelmed)
(single male forgets she isn't interested)
Single male: I would love to meet you.
Single female: (FFS) I'M NOT FUCKING INTERESTED
Single male: 'I need to report this timewasting bitch'
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I don't get frustrated, delete and ignore.
Deleted a message from a couple without reading to be sent a follow up message calling me ignorant.
What part of my profile asks for couples I don't know, and what part of I'll delete if you don't meet what I'm looking for" they don't get is beyond me
But there you go! |
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By *eon85Man
over a year ago
Manchester |
"Just to play devils advocate though. I understand the whole reading the profile malarkey but if somebody messages you saying "how are you?" maybe it is just to see what the reaction is like. Life is too short to write paragraph after paragraph just to have it ignored or deleted. I find a general hiya message is sufficient at 1st and then if the interest is there proceed with interesting convo. Just my view
Would that be the reason that after a year of membership, you don't have one verification?"
I have got verifications hidden I have also got a file saved of my verifications from my account from the 1st time of being here. I'm abit against paying £5 for a membership on here to just send "hi how are you" messages, as it says above It was just to play devils advocate. Altho I do sometimes just say that in a message it all depends what rating out of 10 the persons worth as to what effort I put in the message. |
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By *eon85Man
over a year ago
Manchester |
"Just to play devils advocate though. I understand the whole reading the profile malarkey but if somebody messages you saying "how are you?" maybe it is just to see what the reaction is like. Life is too short to write paragraph after paragraph just to have it ignored or deleted. I find a general hiya message is sufficient at 1st and then if the interest is there proceed with interesting convo. Just my view
Oh yeah, forgot to say ....your pic might be getting you away with murder PHWOOOOOAAARRRR!!!!
Yes, I know ....shallow "
haha thanks. I wasn't disagreeing with what your post is about, In honesty I was just in work on a 12 hour shift and thought Id add to the convo  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why are people so against reading profiles, it's driving us nuts!!! It's obvious when people haven't, and if theycant be bothered with that why would they be bothered with you anywhere else!? Anyone else frustrated???"
We had a message from a guy the other week and when we replied that he hadn't read our profile his reply was that he was sick of reading war and peace to get a shag!!! Nice eh, the sort who gives decent single guys a bad name |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah, too many single guys think that a 'swingers site' means an automatic yes to every offer, where as people on here are just as selective, if not more so than in the vanilla world, surely we need to be?
x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why are people so against reading profiles, it's driving us nuts!!! It's obvious when people haven't, and if theycant be bothered with that why would they be bothered with you anywhere else!? Anyone else frustrated???
We had a message from a guy the other week and when we replied that he hadn't read our profile his reply was that he was sick of reading war and peace to get a shag!!! Nice eh, the sort who gives decent single guys a bad name "
Hahahaha! We had the same a few months back! A guy said our profile went on like a book when we told him we weren't interested |
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"Yeah, too many single guys think that a 'swingers site' means an automatic yes to every offer, where as people on here are just as selective, if not more so than in the vanilla world, surely we need to be?
x"
WHAT!!!!!!!! you mean It's not! Holy shit! Mumble,mumble ..... been wasting my time....... mutter mutter..... wanders off talking gibberish.....again.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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One thing that gets on our nerves is the profiles that are set up as singles but when you read them they are a couple. If you come as a couple (excuse the pun) then set up a couples profile, its not difficult! |
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"One thing that gets on our nerves is the profiles that are set up as singles but when you read them they are a couple. If you come as a couple (excuse the pun) then set up a couples profile, its not difficult! "
Depends how long they have been a couple i suppose. Some people hook up on here and forget to make a new one, or can't be bothered.
But i totally agree with you nonetheless |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"One thing that gets on our nerves is the profiles that are set up as singles but when you read them they are a couple. If you come as a couple (excuse the pun) then set up a couples profile, its not difficult!
Depends how long they have been a couple i suppose. Some people hook up on here and forget to make a new one, or can't be bothered.
But i totally agree with you nonetheless "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As long as they read the main points on a profile I suppose... I know some have problems with attention span over the complete magnum opus that some write...
You could always hold que cards with what you want on them posed daintily around your best bits...
Wolf
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I agree it must be annoying.
However in my experience actually having read profiles often makes no difference to whether you're afforded a response or not. |
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