FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Tell tell signs of a married person or with partner
Tell tell signs of a married person or with partner
Jump to: Newest in thread
Obviously I respect and would hope others respect my decision to keep certain aspects of my life private.
But I would be devastated to be part of someone cheating on their partner either in marriage or just serious relationship.
How can I tell they are a cheat? (as most 'single but secretly married profiles', there's no real obvious signs) HELP  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
After a few messages exchanged we ask if they are attached/ married..if they are genuine they reply and carry on with the conversations.. but if they go quiet then that tells me the truth.
We rather not play with 'singles' who say they are married/attached knowingly as we don't do drama.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By *aulj69Man
over a year ago
dunstable |
"Just ask him , how often he buys toilet paper for his home.....
Any single guy only buys toilet paper once every 2 - 3 months...."
Lol. Brilliant but you know what, I have a bidet really underrated and great for a quick freshen up. In answer to your question ask if they accom? Always a bit of a giveaway for me in the past, I'm o.k with married or partners providing the partner knows or they are part of this lifestyle. Good luck to you x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just ask him , how often he buys toilet paper for his home.....
Any single guy only buys toilet paper once every 2 - 3 months....
2-3 months? Whaatttt? How? "
I shop at Costco, so I get 20 rolls in a bundle....
I usually poop in the morning and jump in the shower after....
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just ask him , how often he buys toilet paper for his home.....
Any single guy only buys toilet paper once every 2 - 3 months...."
Yes, that is absolutely true. I only buy loo roll once a month, if that. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Just ask him , how often he buys toilet paper for his home.....
Any single guy only buys toilet paper once every 2 - 3 months....
2-3 months? Whaatttt? How? "
Men rarely use it when they do a number one... You're lucky they use more than afew sheets for a number two   |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I'm not available when I'm at work. I have no access to Fabs apart from when I'm home. Does that make me married?  "
If you're on fab at 3 am while your wife asleep... I guess so 
I know some people work nights so go on fab during their break.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I'm not available when I'm at work. I have no access to Fabs apart from when I'm home. Does that make me married?
If you're on fab at 3 am while your wife asleep... I guess so
I know some people work nights so go on fab during their break. "
Tell that to my imaginary wife |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Can't accommodate, no weekend meets, only available during the day
All of which there may be legitimate reasons for but sets off alarm bells here"
Desperate to talk off-site but only on kik. No messages evenings and weekends.
They're red flags, not proof, and all can potentially be explained with something entirely reasonable, but they'd certainly have me asking more questions. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Just ask him , how often he buys toilet paper for his home.....
Any single guy only buys toilet paper once every 2 - 3 months....
2-3 months? Whaatttt? How?
I shop at Costco, so I get 20 rolls in a bundle....
I usually poop in the morning and jump in the shower after....
"
As long as you don't poop in the shower..   |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Obviously I respect and would hope others respect my decision to keep certain aspects of my life private.
But I would be devastated to be part of someone cheating on their partner either in marriage or just serious relationship.
How can I tell they are a cheat? (as most 'single but secretly married profiles', there's no real obvious signs) HELP "
Mine is quite open. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Can't accommodate, no weekend meets, only available during the day
All of which there may be legitimate reasons for but sets off alarm bells here
If they cant talk freely at different times of the day when you ask what they do for work and hours they work if they want to chat after work call them and see if they answer it’s not fool proof but 90% of cheats won’t be able to speak when you do ??????????
Desperate to talk off-site but only on kik. No messages evenings and weekends.
They're red flags, not proof, and all can potentially be explained with something entirely reasonable, but they'd certainly have me asking more questions."
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Can't accommodate, no weekend meets, only available during the day
All of which there may be legitimate reasons for but sets off alarm bells here"
Eeek. I work every weekend, can't accommodate but prefer to meet week day evenings... Definitely not a cheat |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I’m married and always say as soon as messages start. If it’s clear in the profile they don’t want to meet married guys I block them so I don’t wink or message them. Everybody has rules and preferences. I’m cheating on my wife and I get that it’s not right. But we all have our reasons and it’s on our conscience. I have met women and couples before who actually prefer it.
Each to their own I suppose. But I did suspect that most guys on here are “Fab Single” and have a other half locked up somewhere |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"A question we ask is will they meet us in a club. Many suddenly get very evasive about exactly why they can't do clubs which raises our suspicions."
Not wanting to meet in a club is more likely to be because of the cost incurred as a single male, rather than being married/attached and playing away.... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I imagine they would be a lot busier and vague about what they're doing. Other than that would need to see his gaff. While we try a bit most of us aren't arsed about scatter cushions and bowls with little things in them. I like candles but you can tell im single just looking at my front room. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I imagine they would be a lot busier and vague about what they're doing. Other than that would need to see his gaff. While we try a bit most of us aren't arsed about scatter cushions and bowls with little things in them. I like candles but you can tell im single just looking at my front room."
Pink floral vase with fresh cut flowers also a dead give away. I don't think i ever been to a bachelor pad with that in it. Especially pink things |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Female toiletries in the mandatory bathroom pics.
Can’t talk after 5pm.
Can’t accommodate or insists on car meets. "
Could they be living with mum, sister or grandmother? My friend's friend cheating bf did that to her for a year. Stayed with her during the week. Then went home to look after his sick mum aka wife every weekend. She fell for it |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We met a partnered man at his house once. It was only when he started to get paranoid about a condom being left somewhere in case "the cleaner saw it" that we twigged though, there was nothing to indicate that he was in a relationship otherwise. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I ask early on, but you can't guarantee an honest answer.
Unwilling to talk on the phone, never free on a Friday or Saturday night: they are my first red flags. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Ask why they can't accommodate. Can they meet Saturday evening? Pay close attention to the pictures and the background: is there a wedding ring on a finger, how many toothbrushes are in the glass, ladies clothing, hairbrush, make up, toiletries etc. in the background. How many sets of towels? Home decor: feminine touches in respect of flowers in the vase, patterns of the curtains, colour scheme and patterns of the bedding, little decorative items. Are all pictures taken in low light, only in the toilet/bathroom, only in a hotel? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ask why they can't accommodate. Can they meet Saturday evening? Pay close attention to the pictures and the background: is there a wedding ring on a finger, how many toothbrushes are in the glass, ladies clothing, hairbrush, make up, toiletries etc. in the background. How many sets of towels? Home decor: feminine touches in respect of flowers in the vase, patterns of the curtains, colour scheme and patterns of the bedding, little decorative items. Are all pictures taken in low light, only in the toilet/bathroom, only in a hotel?"
This sounds like a lot of work just for shag.....
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ask why they can't accommodate. Can they meet Saturday evening? Pay close attention to the pictures and the background: is there a wedding ring on a finger, how many toothbrushes are in the glass, ladies clothing, hairbrush, make up, toiletries etc. in the background. How many sets of towels? Home decor: feminine touches in respect of flowers in the vase, patterns of the curtains, colour scheme and patterns of the bedding, little decorative items. Are all pictures taken in low light, only in the toilet/bathroom, only in a hotel?
This sounds like a lot of work just for shag.....
"
Yeah, takes about 30 seconds... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ask why they can't accommodate. Can they meet Saturday evening? Pay close attention to the pictures and the background: is there a wedding ring on a finger, how many toothbrushes are in the glass, ladies clothing, hairbrush, make up, toiletries etc. in the background. How many sets of towels? Home decor: feminine touches in respect of flowers in the vase, patterns of the curtains, colour scheme and patterns of the bedding, little decorative items. Are all pictures taken in low light, only in the toilet/bathroom, only in a hotel?
This sounds like a lot of work just for shag.....
Yeah, takes about 30 seconds..."
You are good..... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Ask why they can't accommodate. Can they meet Saturday evening? Pay close attention to the pictures and the background: is there a wedding ring on a finger, how many toothbrushes are in the glass, ladies clothing, hairbrush, make up, toiletries etc. in the background. How many sets of towels? Home decor: feminine touches in respect of flowers in the vase, patterns of the curtains, colour scheme and patterns of the bedding, little decorative items. Are all pictures taken in low light, only in the toilet/bathroom, only in a hotel?
This sounds like a lot of work just for shag.....
Yeah, takes about 30 seconds..."
Some men hardly have any photos, let alone photos that can leave clues. But not being able to meet weekends is good one. However, I can't meet weekends because of work commitments. We also was advise that when vanilla dating, weekend was premium time so to stay abit aloof at the beginning, best arrange a quick meet during the week. For me personally, I can only meet during weekday evenings. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ask why they can't accommodate. Can they meet Saturday evening? Pay close attention to the pictures and the background: is there a wedding ring on a finger, how many toothbrushes are in the glass, ladies clothing, hairbrush, make up, toiletries etc. in the background. How many sets of towels? Home decor: feminine touches in respect of flowers in the vase, patterns of the curtains, colour scheme and patterns of the bedding, little decorative items. Are all pictures taken in low light, only in the toilet/bathroom, only in a hotel?
This sounds like a lot of work just for shag.....
Yeah, takes about 30 seconds...
Some men hardly have any photos, let alone photos that can leave clues. But not being able to meet weekends is good one. However, I can't meet weekends because of work commitments. We also was advise that when vanilla dating, weekend was premium time so to stay abit aloof at the beginning, best arrange a quick meet during the week. For me personally, I can only meet during weekday evenings. "
You can ask if meeting Saturday night is an option, don't necessarily have to go for it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Just ask him , how often he buys toilet paper for his home.....
Any single guy only buys toilet paper once every 2 - 3 months...."
Very strange way of knowing.....single guys I’ve known don’t have that pattern lol. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Not wanting to meet in a club is more likely to be because of the cost incurred as a single male, rather than being married/attached and playing away...."
Nonsense, when asked they are very evasive and can't give reasons about why not clubs and then suggest hotel meets which are certainly not cheaper than clubs! For the local club it is only a fiver more for a single guy vs a couple. This is still much cheaper than paying for even half of a hotel room. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I’m married, it’s in my profile and I will tell anyone that asks!
It’s not the end of the world to some people.
I’m just looking for something I can’t have at home. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Not wanting to meet in a club is more likely to be because of the cost incurred as a single male, rather than being married/attached and playing away....
Nonsense, when asked they are very evasive and can't give reasons about why not clubs and then suggest hotel meets which are certainly not cheaper than clubs! For the local club it is only a fiver more for a single guy vs a couple. This is still much cheaper than paying for even half of a hotel room."
Which club is that? That's great value, my local can be around £80 almost 4 times the cost of a couple and single women can be free at times which rubs it in further. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Which club is that? That's great value, my local can be around £80 almost 4 times the cost of a couple and single women can be free at times which rubs it in further. "
Milf club at VA, daytime event, £30 single guys, £20 couples (forgot they reduced the prices by £5 for couples this year), free for single women, single guys need to be on the guest list though. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Obviously I respect and would hope others respect my decision to keep certain aspects of my life private.
But I would be devastated to be part of someone cheating on their partner either in marriage or just serious relationship.
How can I tell they are a cheat? (as most 'single but secretly married profiles', there's no real obvious signs) HELP "
in this weather its easy look for white bit on wedding finger where he took ring off or check his mobile phone screensaver thats always a great clue WIFE and kids or just look into his eyes as your feeling his bulge and ask him not many men could lie convincingly whilst your hands on their nuts   |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I suppose all these reasons can be for married women cheating too it’s just not always guys.... "
Yeah, but women are allowed to be cheats, even actively encouraged to be
Whereas all men are bastards, innit |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I suppose all these reasons can be for married women cheating too it’s just not always guys....
Yeah, but women are allowed to be cheats, even actively encouraged to be
Whereas all men are bastards, innit "
No I feel the same about married women cheating on here! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
Not wanting to meet in a club is more likely to be because of the cost incurred as a single male, rather than being married/attached and playing away....
Nonsense, when asked they are very evasive and can't give reasons about why not clubs and then suggest hotel meets which are certainly not cheaper than clubs! For the local club it is only a fiver more for a single guy vs a couple. This is still much cheaper than paying for even half of a hotel room."
The entry fee for a pub or coffee house isn’t gender-biased at all though, unlike a swingers’ club |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
The entry fee for a pub or coffee house isn’t gender-biased at all though, unlike a swingers’ club "
If that is the case why can't they just outright say that then? Rather than being evasive with comments such as "I can't really do clubs" or "couldn't you accommodate just for me" or the rather telling "I'm worried someone might recognise me" |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My partner has no need or desire for sex since the menopause, she has told me to find it elsewhere as long as I dont rub her nose in it , so I fit meets in during times when I'm normally out of the house , workdays Saturday golf twice a month or five aside on a Wednesday . Or if she is away for work or a girlie weekend away . I know some will still skate me off but it works for us |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
The entry fee for a pub or coffee house isn’t gender-biased at all though, unlike a swingers’ club
If that is the case why can't they just outright say that then? Rather than being evasive with comments such as "I can't really do clubs" or "couldn't you accommodate just for me" or the rather telling "I'm worried someone might recognise me""
Some people prefer clean sheets on a proper bed, to wipe-clean wrestling mats.
Some people prefer their intimate times to be kept private, and not watched by onlookers chatting about the football/Eastenders.
It’s fair enough, people could be more straight to the point, instead of being evasive, but you could always ask too, or put a note in your profile? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I’m always suspicious of someone who says they don’t use social media. There are genuine ones that don’t but always a red flag. I work weekends and nights and also have kids so meets can be pretty random but normally time will tell. I also don’t chat on phone often as I’m normally within earshot.
I had been chatting to a guy for months who said he was single never married, no kids, sent me pics/videos from his house, no obvious signs. Invited him to meet me in a bnb (Was away with work) and he wouldn’t come til early hours of the morning and left straight after. Immediate red flag. Turned out he had a wife and 9 year old kid.
It’s hard to tell sometimes. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Obviously I respect and would hope others respect my decision to keep certain aspects of my life private.
But I would be devastated to be part of someone cheating on their partner either in marriage or just serious relationship.
Honesty is the best policy, were all on here for different reasons. People just need to be open and honest with others they chat to
How can I tell they are a cheat? (as most 'single but secretly married profiles', there's no real obvious signs) HELP "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
It’s fair enough, people could be more straight to the point, instead of being evasive, but you could always ask too, or put a note in your profile? "
It's already written on our profile, either a social or meet at club and we do ask very quickly if we want to meet. Then we get the evasiveness over the clubs and then why they can't be meeting out somewhere public for the social and then asking us to accommodate which is already explained why we can't accommodate on our profile. Something around half our messages from guys after we delete all the dross "hi how you doing?" messages end up being like this.
Honestly, we don't really care, if guys can't be bothered to make any effort to either read our profile or make some effort in meeting then we're not going to make any effort for them. Honestly we get so many messages from guys and have so many who will meet at clubs that we don't feel we're missing out on anything anyway, their loss, not ours! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *yesgreenMan
over a year ago
north and south |
"
It’s fair enough, people could be more straight to the point, instead of being evasive, but you could always ask too, or put a note in your profile?
It's already written on our profile, either a social or meet at club and we do ask very quickly if we want to meet. Then we get the evasiveness over the clubs and then why they can't be meeting out somewhere public for the social and then asking us to accommodate which is already explained why we can't accommodate on our profile. Something around half our messages from guys after we delete all the dross "hi how you doing?" messages end up being like this.
Honestly, we don't really care, if guys can't be bothered to make any effort to either read our profile or make some effort in meeting then we're not going to make any effort for them. Honestly we get so many messages from guys and have so many who will meet at clubs that we don't feel we're missing out on anything anyway, their loss, not ours!"
Op can’t accommodate and most single women on this tread can’t accommodate,that makes me think you have something to hide , Swinging is open to all single, married, gay , and no one person should have to explain there circumstances , happy fabs where they can be safe again everyone |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
It’s fair enough, people could be more straight to the point, instead of being evasive, but you could always ask too, or put a note in your profile?
It's already written on our profile, either a social or meet at club and we do ask very quickly if we want to meet. Then we get the evasiveness over the clubs and then why they can't be meeting out somewhere public for the social and then asking us to accommodate which is already explained why we can't accommodate on our profile.
Something around half our messages from guys after we delete all the dross "hi how you doing?" messages end up being like this.
Honestly, we don't really care, if guys can't be bothered to make any effort to either read our profile or make some effort in meeting then we're not going to make any effort for them. Honestly we get so many messages from guys and have so many who will meet at clubs that we don't feel we're missing out on anything anyway, their loss, not ours!"
For me if you're in a couple profile, then yes it's an open relationship. It's the single profiles that I'm worried about. Sounds like it's risky as some people are devious. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just ask him , how often he buys toilet paper for his home.....
Any single guy only buys toilet paper once every 2 - 3 months...."
But now he’s got his mountain of bog rolls from panic buying
So trying to offload - 1 roll for a hand job, 4 for a bj and a 16 pack for a shag |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Best asking straight up in the outset, not the very first line , but probably first conversation. You can usually tell by just chatting, I think sometimes you just have to take people at face value. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *arbellsWoman
over a year ago
Cambridge |
"
It’s fair enough, people could be more straight to the point, instead of being evasive, but you could always ask too, or put a note in your profile?
It's already written on our profile, either a social or meet at club and we do ask very quickly if we want to meet. Then we get the evasiveness over the clubs and then why they can't be meeting out somewhere public for the social and then asking us to accommodate which is already explained why we can't accommodate on our profile. Something around half our messages from guys after we delete all the dross "hi how you doing?" messages end up being like this.
Honestly, we don't really care, if guys can't be bothered to make any effort to either read our profile or make some effort in meeting then we're not going to make any effort for them. Honestly we get so many messages from guys and have so many who will meet at clubs that we don't feel we're missing out on anything anyway, their loss, not ours!Op can’t accommodate and most single women on this tread can’t accommodate,that makes me think you have something to hide , Swinging is open to all single, married, gay , and no one person should have to explain there circumstances , happy fabs where they can be safe again everyone "
Yes you're right but I don't accommodate for safety reasons being a single female, I think that's probably true for a lot of females |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We've found most guys are up front about their relationship status.
To be honest if we are in a club or party and have fun with a single guy, not really bothered with his relationship outside the club or party, it's no of my business.
Unless......he slags his wife off.
Happened once but he was a complete dickhead. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
It’s fair enough, people could be more straight to the point, instead of being evasive, but you could always ask too, or put a note in your profile?
It's already written on our profile, either a social or meet at club and we do ask very quickly if we want to meet. Then we get the evasiveness over the clubs and then why they can't be meeting out somewhere public for the social and then asking us to accommodate which is already explained why we can't accommodate on our profile. Something around half our messages from guys after we delete all the dross "hi how you doing?" messages end up being like this.
Honestly, we don't really care, if guys can't be bothered to make any effort to either read our profile or make some effort in meeting then we're not going to make any effort for them. Honestly we get so many messages from guys and have so many who will meet at clubs that we don't feel we're missing out on anything anyway, their loss, not ours!Op can’t accommodate and most single women on this tread can’t accommodate,that makes me think you have something to hide , Swinging is open to all single, married, gay , and no one person should have to explain there circumstances , happy fabs where they can be safe again everyone
Yes you're right but I don't accommodate for safety reasons being a single female, I think that's probably true for a lot of females "
Me too, it’s not safe but I also don’t want people coming to my home. My home is separate to this and I have pets I don’t want being scared. Anyone who queries my accommodation status gets blocked. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Yes you're right but I don't accommodate for safety reasons being a single female, I think that's probably true for a lot of females
Me too, it’s not safe but I also don’t want people coming to my home. My home is separate to this and I have pets I don’t want being scared. Anyone who queries my accommodation status gets blocked. "
That's fair comment, but do you not think single men might feel the same way about their safety? Let's face it there are unhinged women around just as there are men, so it would be nice if people didn't assume we must be married / partnered up just because we decide not to accommodate |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *arbellsWoman
over a year ago
Cambridge |
"Yes you're right but I don't accommodate for safety reasons being a single female, I think that's probably true for a lot of females
Me too, it’s not safe but I also don’t want people coming to my home. My home is separate to this and I have pets I don’t want being scared. Anyone who queries my accommodation status gets blocked.
That's fair comment, but do you not think single men might feel the same way about their safety? Let's face it there are unhinged women around just as there are men, so it would be nice if people didn't assume we must be married / partnered up just because we decide not to accommodate "
Like I said above I agree but a few factors come in to play with safety with females. I'm a pretty strong female, deadlift 150kg, can put 90kg above my head but I would not stand a chance against a very high percentage of men if I was attacked regardless of my strength. I'm not saying this doesn't happen the other way around at all. Anyways we are moving away from OP post. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Yes you're right but I don't accommodate for safety reasons being a single female, I think that's probably true for a lot of females
Me too, it’s not safe but I also don’t want people coming to my home. My home is separate to this and I have pets I don’t want being scared. Anyone who queries my accommodation status gets blocked.
That's fair comment, but do you not think single men might feel the same way about their safety? Let's face it there are unhinged women around just as there are men, so it would be nice if people didn't assume we must be married / partnered up just because we decide not to accommodate "
I only likened my situation to the previous posters comment. I think a high percentage of men who accommodate will do so if they know they are getting sex! From my experience on Fab a high percentage of men who can’t accommodate are usually married. However it’s up to the individual if they wish to accommodate, I don’t. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Swinging is open to all single, married, gay , and no one person should have to explain there circumstances"
Disagree with this, we're not open to playing with people who are cheating as it could create drama for us that we don't want to deal with if someone who is cheating had their partner find out. We don't want to have to deal with a jealous partner who then might out us to friends and family about our lifestyle and we have seen this happen in the past.
For us swinging is about being open and honest and up front with people and having lots of mutual fun, not being involved with cheats. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"No profile pic sometimes maybe
And I usually just ask if I think they might be married
Foxy"
I can tell from a profile pic. Married man, middle aged, dad body, not looked after himself, no effort...! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"No profile pic sometimes maybe
And I usually just ask if I think they might be married
Foxy
I can tell from a profile pic. Married man, middle aged, dad body, not looked after himself, no effort...! "
So all the middle aged women with mom bodies are also married? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"No profile pic sometimes maybe
And I usually just ask if I think they might be married
Foxy
I can tell from a profile pic. Married man, middle aged, dad body, not looked after himself, no effort...!
So all the middle aged women with mom bodies are also married?"
No it’s the opposite. Women try to make themselves attractive to an unresponsive husband. Men expect women to find them attractive no matter what....only my experience of life has taught me this....... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"No profile pic sometimes maybe
And I usually just ask if I think they might be married
Foxy
I can tell from a profile pic. Married man, middle aged, dad body, not looked after himself, no effort...!
So all the middle aged women with mom bodies are also married?
No it’s the opposite. Women try to make themselves attractive to an unresponsive husband. Men expect women to find them attractive no matter what....only my experience of life has taught me this......."
No, it's that men aren't as vain as women |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"No profile pic sometimes maybe
And I usually just ask if I think they might be married
Foxy
I can tell from a profile pic. Married man, middle aged, dad body, not looked after himself, no effort...!
So all the middle aged women with mom bodies are also married?
No it’s the opposite. Women try to make themselves attractive to an unresponsive husband. Men expect women to find them attractive no matter what....only my experience of life has taught me this.......
No, it's that men aren't as vain as women "
Is presenting the best you vain? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"No profile pic sometimes maybe
And I usually just ask if I think they might be married
Foxy
I can tell from a profile pic. Married man, middle aged, dad body, not looked after himself, no effort...!
So all the middle aged women with mom bodies are also married?
No it’s the opposite. Women try to make themselves attractive to an unresponsive husband. Men expect women to find them attractive no matter what....only my experience of life has taught me this.......
No, it's that men aren't as vain as women "
Best not argue lol because I know what I’m talking about! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *yesgreenMan
over a year ago
north and south |
"No profile pic sometimes maybe
And I usually just ask if I think they might be married
Foxy
I can tell from a profile pic. Married man, middle aged, dad body, not looked after himself, no effort...!
So all the middle aged women with mom bodies are also married?
No it’s the opposite. Women try to make themselves attractive to an unresponsive husband. Men expect women to find them attractive no matter what....only my experience of life has taught me this.......
No, it's that men aren't as vain as women
Best not argue lol because I know what I’m talking about! "
Did we ever find out the tell tail signs of adults on fab yet , Or only toys being thrown out of pram |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I definitely didn't make much effort as I do now being married. As you see that person literally 24/7 and he made the fatal mistake saying "I love you just the way you are. No make up etc" so I stopped wearing makeup, comfort ate etc. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"No profile pic sometimes maybe
And I usually just ask if I think they might be married
Foxy
I can tell from a profile pic. Married man, middle aged, dad body, not looked after himself, no effort...!
So all the middle aged women with mom bodies are also married?
No it’s the opposite. Women try to make themselves attractive to an unresponsive husband. Men expect women to find them attractive no matter what....only my experience of life has taught me this.......
No, it's that men aren't as vain as women
Best not argue lol because I know what I’m talking about! Did we ever find out the tell tail signs of adults on fab yet , Or only toys being thrown out of pram "
Lol many suggestions have been posted in the thread |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
i just seem to have a weird 6th sense for it and can guess a few messages in
somethings are a dead giveaway though
photos taken in surroundings clearly decorated/ inhabited by a woman
profile inconsistencies to what they say in terms of name/ age / location and going on and on about discretion... nobody is advertising they are on here but people actively trying hard to conceal it usually have something to hide
will chat at work but not when home
happy to just gab away with no real intention of meeting is often another |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Just ask him , how often he buys toilet paper for his home.....
Any single guy only buys toilet paper once every 2 - 3 months....
2-3 months? Whaatttt? How? "
Us guys in general don't need that much loo paper if we have a decent diet. I remember being amazed how much paper I got through whenever my daughters came to stay with me.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
WELL I can tell 100% my personal experience on that.
Married man .. wife hidden for so long.. he begged me to became his girlfriend..more than just swinging partner..than slowly things just doesn't add up.. .
You would think someone who's holding private swinger party for a decade long and well known in certain swinging community - can be trusted..
Of course Not haha.
Cheated on the wife for over 10+ years.. Ive became the lover ( without knowing) than I got cheated on too by other fellow swinger females..real mess.
Signs:
- not accommodating in his own place ..always excuse why you can't go to his place..
- only available on certain weekends or days ( when he can lie to the wife his going on business trips).
- no social platform access apart from Fab
- too much phone activity during a meet up
- prepared/organized plans " suddenly" get cancelled on his side more than 2x
Like his son , his mother got ill...or the childminder can't look after his son....( pretending to be a single man with full custody ).
- he is dictating kinda controlling when you can meet up using business or child topic as an excuse
- not preferring hotels in his area ..close to his address
Too fancy wine and dine activities .Creating an illusions/ atmospheres by sweeping off you from your feet.
You get that 6th sense it's just too nice to be true..
- catching him by lies
( sometimes can't keep up the same story once you ask about it again more detailed...)
He pretends it's all about you..being a gent..but closed walls/details about him..
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Also the way of communications too.
He calls you from:
-office
-during lunch breaks
- Travelling from / to work home on route.
Only vid call from public places never from his place..or he does.. like mine did once..you can tell a touch of woman taste by the decoration.
But you will sense it after sometime..we always do..
If it's something too nice to be true ...well ..you will know..
Xx
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *alkdirty2meCouple
over a year ago
20 miles south of Edinburgh |
"I ask early on, but you can't guarantee an honest answer.
Unwilling to talk on the phone, never free on a Friday or Saturday night: they are my first red flags. "
We are singers so weekend nights are out for us, we’ll except now, we are 100% a couple though and not married lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I ask early on, but you can't guarantee an honest answer.
Unwilling to talk on the phone, never free on a Friday or Saturday night: they are my first red flags.
We are singers so weekend nights are out for us, we’ll except now, we are 100% a couple though and not married lol "
But you're on a couples profile. So for me seeing a couple profile is a given. It's single profiles claiming they are "single" |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Also the way of communications too.
He calls you from:
-office
-during lunch breaks
- Travelling from / to work home on route.
Only vid call from public places never from his place..or he does.. like mine did once..you can tell a touch of woman taste by the decoration.
But you will sense it after sometime..we always do..
If it's something too nice to be true ...well ..you will know..
Xx
"
Dammm... Poor you. Hopefully it won't happen again. People just need to be honest with others in their lives. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"i just seem to have a weird 6th sense for it and can guess a few messages in
somethings are a dead giveaway though
photos taken in surroundings clearly decorated/ inhabited by a woman
profile inconsistencies to what they say in terms of name/ age / location and going on and on about discretion... nobody is advertising they are on here but people actively trying hard to conceal it usually have something to hide
will chat at work but not when home
happy to just gab away with no real intention of meeting is often another "
I am happy to gab away because I think it’s rude and crass to immediately start telling ladies you would like to meet them and do dirty things with them in the first sentence of a message. I also work Saturdays and have my children over a couple of times a week which would prevent me from meeting at those times. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"i just seem to have a weird 6th sense for it and can guess a few messages in
somethings are a dead giveaway though
photos taken in surroundings clearly decorated/ inhabited by a woman
profile inconsistencies to what they say in terms of name/ age / location and going on and on about discretion... nobody is advertising they are on here but people actively trying hard to conceal it usually have something to hide
will chat at work but not when home
happy to just gab away with no real intention of meeting is often another
I am happy to gab away because I think it’s rude and crass to immediately start telling ladies you would like to meet them and do dirty things with them in the first sentence of a message. I also work Saturdays and have my children over a couple of times a week which would prevent me from meeting at those times. "
its not fool proof , but you get a feeling and my track record for working it out and being right is pretty high
in fact while i have probably met people that i haven’t been wise enough to catch out cheating, i have actually never asked if someone had a partner (because i was already 80% sure) and been told i was wrong ... so my instinct can’t be that far off
might be crap for you that the cheaters are making your legitimate reasons less believable but thats just life
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I find it interesting that many think not being able to accommodate is a sign of being married. I don't accommodate, not because I'm married, but because my autistic child doesn't like new environments, so it's easier to have a babysitter stay at mine for his comfort. I'm open with my family about my lifestyle, but I'm not prepared to put my kids into an uncomfortable position for it. no one is forced to believe my reasons either, if they think I'm cheating they don't have to meet me |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I would say 80% of people we have met are married some we catch out some admit ihe guys wife plays with outside club know she is married and vice versa, we don't interigate people at club and they don't integrate us, one guy we know his wife choses to turn a blind eye as she gone of sex and glad he's getting else where, if either half of a couple blatently cheating, and bragging about it, we stay clear, but some have a good reason, like health, genuine separated, when we do play solo we can't play at home as we have family at home and do not want them to know about our sexy pastime, in my view if they have to cheat and hurt partner get a divorce, we enjoy threesomes as well as full swap, |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"A question we ask is will they meet us in a club. Many suddenly get very evasive about exactly why they can't do clubs which raises our suspicions.
Not wanting to meet in a club is more likely to be because of the cost incurred as a single male, rather than being married/attached and playing away...."
Going to a club costs less than booking a hotel room and it's more fun x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"A question we ask is will they meet us in a club. Many suddenly get very evasive about exactly why they can't do clubs which raises our suspicions.
Not wanting to meet in a club is more likely to be because of the cost incurred as a single male, rather than being married/attached and playing away....
Going to a club costs less than booking a hotel room and it's more fun x"
For women and couples, that's true.
Very often a very different story for single men.
Last time I checked I think it was £80 a year plus the cost of the individual evening for men, with an 8 month waiting list for membership |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"A question we ask is will they meet us in a club. Many suddenly get very evasive about exactly why they can't do clubs which raises our suspicions.
Not wanting to meet in a club is more likely to be because of the cost incurred as a single male, rather than being married/attached and playing away....
Going to a club costs less than booking a hotel room and it's more fun x
------
For women and couples, that's true.
Very often a very different story for single men.
Last time I checked I think it was £80 a year plus the cost of the individual evening for men, with an 8 month waiting list for membership "
Many northern clubs are much better priced... some as low as £15 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I have Joe Malone products around my house....
The salesperson told me the products are unisex....
If you saw Joe Malone products in my pictures ?
Would you think I’m cheating? Or just like to smell good... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Obviously some of the above apply, I myself, am single/separated now 2 years going through a divorce and due to the ex living in the marital home, forced to live with parent. So this is my reason I cannot accommodate. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I find that local guys who are unable to meet for a public social (locally) are usually attached.
Those who don't accommodate and only message throughout the day also perhaps.
I'd never ask someone for their phone number or social media details. Or expect them to accommodate at their home. Some people like to keep Fab separate and I respect that. As long as they're willing to meet in a public place for a social, claim not to be attached and don't give me any major obvious clues to suggest otherwise, I assume they're single and I'm happy to meet them. I don't even ask about their work or anything too personal. I like to keep meets fun and lighthearted and don't have the time or energy to play detective. People lie. If married men or women can lie to their partners then they'll certainly have no issues lying to a stranger in order.
As mentioned by other's, there can be obvious signs though. I tend to find most married guys are upfront with me. It's then up to me to decide what I do.
I see a fair few mentions on profiles about not wanting to meet attached/married. I think that sometimes can give people the incentive to lie from the off |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Men are not single,if they can't accommodate and won't give you there phone number,or if they do give you there phone number,it will be text only,if you call them it will go to and ansafone ."
There are some absolute cranks about. I don't accommodate or give out my number. I just like to keep where I live and my phone number private |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"A question we ask is will they meet us in a club. Many suddenly get very evasive about exactly why they can't do clubs which raises our suspicions.
Not wanting to meet in a club is more likely to be because of the cost incurred as a single male, rather than being married/attached and playing away....
Going to a club costs less than booking a hotel room and it's more fun x
For women and couples, that's true.
Very often a very different story for single men.
Last time I checked I think it was £80 a year plus the cost of the individual evening for men, with an 8 month waiting list for membership "
I would think about getting a bloke I was meeting in on a new couple membership ( that's usually free ) but would keep the membership card so the bloke dont abuse it x then it turns out cheap night for bloke good night for me and no harm done |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Men are not single,if they can't accommodate and won't give you there phone number,or if they do give you there phone number,it will be text only,if you call them it will go to and ansafone .
There are some absolute cranks about. I don't accommodate or give out my number. I just like to keep where I live and my phone number private "
exactly this x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I have Joe Malone products around my house....
The salesperson told me the products are unisex....
If you saw Joe Malone products in my pictures ?
Would you think I’m cheating? Or just like to smell good..."
Not at all - candles even potpourri are fine , but if I see a heart shaped fluffy pillow and a picture on the wall saying LOVE ( with pinky grey candles next to it ) I would suspect..something ain't right.
obviously if I see a sanitary towel lol that's staright foward answer to the question |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I think u should Tell him this......... i want this night to be special because comes from a long time of break and i would apreciate If u would stay overnight and tease each other all night long.
What do u think? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have Joe Malone products around my house....
The salesperson told me the products are unisex....
If you saw Joe Malone products in my pictures ?
Would you think I’m cheating? Or just like to smell good...
Not at all - candles even potpourri are fine , but if I see a heart shaped fluffy pillow and a picture on the wall saying LOVE ( with pinky grey candles next to it ) I would suspect..something ain't right.
obviously if I see a sanitary towel lol that's staright foward answer to the question "
Nice , I’ll keep that in mind |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I think u should Tell him this......... i want this night to be special because comes from a long time of break and i would apreciate If u would stay overnight and tease each other all night long.
What do u think?"
Couldn't he tell his wife he's on a business trip? That's what my ex did when he was cheating  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have Joe Malone products around my house....
The salesperson told me the products are unisex....
If you saw Joe Malone products in my pictures ?
Would you think I’m cheating? Or just like to smell good...
Not at all - candles even potpourri are fine , but if I see a heart shaped fluffy pillow and a picture on the wall saying LOVE ( with pinky grey candles next to it ) I would suspect..something ain't right.
obviously if I see a sanitary towel lol that's staright foward answer to the question "
yep those wicker heart hanging decorations are a dead giveaway lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
The telltale sign on my profile is that I state it up front. Anyone who finds this morally problematic has the option not to contact me.
Conversely I respect profiles who state they won’t meet cheats. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"The telltale sign on my profile is that I state it up front. Anyone who finds this morally problematic has the option not to contact me.
Conversely I respect profiles who state they won’t meet cheats."
The point I'm trying to make is men don't say in their profiles and don't openingly admit. It took me until end of a cam chat to find out once and I was certainly peed off he didn't say earlier as he said his partner doesn't know he's on fab. He had a good profile with lots of verifications. Just missed out most important point to me, he got a girlfriend who doesn't know. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Obviously I respect and would hope others respect my decision to keep certain aspects of my life private.
But I would be devastated to be part of someone cheating on their partner either in marriage or just serious relationship.
How can I tell they are a cheat? (as most 'single but secretly married profiles', there's no real obvious signs) HELP "
Don't meet men who can't accommodate. This will out 99.9% of the cheats. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
deaf....... warn knees...... ball and chain....... can't accom....... wedding ring......... can only meet daytime....... can only call daytime....... stammer.......... beetroot when you ask |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *hingy2Woman
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"Just ask him , how often he buys toilet paper for his home.....
Any single guy only buys toilet paper once every 2 - 3 months....
Lol. Brilliant but you know what, I have a bidet really underrated and great for a quick freshen up. In answer to your question ask if they accom? Always a bit of a giveaway for me in the past, I'm o.k with married or partners providing the partner knows or they are part of this lifestyle. Good luck to you x"
I'm single but I don't accom |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"i just seem to have a weird 6th sense for it and can guess a few messages in
somethings are a dead giveaway though
photos taken in surroundings clearly decorated/ inhabited by a woman
profile inconsistencies to what they say in terms of name/ age / location and going on and on about discretion... nobody is advertising they are on here but people actively trying hard to conceal it usually have something to hide
will chat at work but not when home
happy to just gab away with no real intention of meeting is often another "
To be fair. People who visit my house are sometimes surprised it hasn’t had a woman’s touch. Maybe it’s my excellent interior design skills. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"i just seem to have a weird 6th sense for it and can guess a few messages in
somethings are a dead giveaway though
photos taken in surroundings clearly decorated/ inhabited by a woman
profile inconsistencies to what they say in terms of name/ age / location and going on and on about discretion... nobody is advertising they are on here but people actively trying hard to conceal it usually have something to hide
will chat at work but not when home
happy to just gab away with no real intention of meeting is often another
To be fair. People who visit my house are sometimes surprised it hasn’t had a woman’s touch. Maybe it’s my excellent interior design skills. "
Or maybe you keep the toilet seat down |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
As my wedding ring is tattooed on and I don't really fancy taking a sharp knife or angle grinder to it I only swing with my partners full knowledge.
She has removable jewelry but I'm fairly sure she informs me of any encounters as she has no reason to hide anything. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I find it interesting that many think not being able to accommodate is a sign of being married. I don't accommodate, not because I'm married, but because my autistic child doesn't like new environments, so it's easier to have a babysitter stay at mine for his comfort. I'm open with my family about my lifestyle, but I'm not prepared to put my kids into an uncomfortable position for it. no one is forced to believe my reasons either, if they think I'm cheating they don't have to meet me "
This. Everyone who can't accommodate is not cheating and has a good reason why. If I doesn't sit well with you then move on and find someone who can |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Im a single woman but i cant accomodate as i have a young adult living with me and i find this is the situation with some men after divorce. I do accomodate if i can work around when she is at work.
I just like honesty then i can make my mind up wether i see the guy or not. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"if it says cannot accommodate more often than not cheating"
Quite judgemental and certainly in our case wrong. We have large dogs which can be quite full on when people first arrive and we don't really want the hassle of neighbours chatting or people popping around when uninvited.
Guess the 'must be cheating' is an easy catch all though. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's funny when men accuse me of being married because I probably do all the things people tell me to look out for but I'm totally single and love being single"
well then people in glass houses |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
