FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Professional concerns/advice
Professional concerns/advice
Jump to: Newest in thread
After some advice from others who may be in similar position.
I'm new to the scene. I'm also a registered professional with a governing body attached to my career.
Does this lifestyle put my career in jeopardy? How can you ensure discretion?
Any advice or experience would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks everyone  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It doesn't put your career at risk per se BUT a lot of high profile companies take a very dim view if this kind of thing behind the scenes as it could be seen as tarnishing the company reputation.
Discretion is ultimate, say nothing about your adventure to vanilla colleagues and enjoy the experiences away from your regular life.
Its no ones business but your own what goes on in yoyr private life and my advice is to keep it your own business.
You may find yourself in awkward and difficult situations with your employer just to have you leave the company (or worse) if they are a high profile and reputable company. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By *oirinMarkusCouple
over a year ago
West Midlands and West London |
I can relate completely! Some practical points that seem to work for me:
I give a vague summary when potential playmates ask what I do, and if they probe I just say work is boring, or that I keep work and play separate.
I say that I rarely take pictures of my face and send them online. I have when a playmate and I have literally agreed a time, place and date of a meet, but before that stage, very rarely. I am not into picture swapping with anyone, in any case.
Obviously Kik is good for keeping your sex chat separate, but the app has loads of downsides too. I haven't found anything better though!
Happy to chat more if you wanna reach out xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"After some advice from others who may be in similar position.
I'm new to the scene. I'm also a registered professional with a governing body attached to my career.
Does this lifestyle put my career in jeopardy? How can you ensure discretion?
Any advice or experience would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks everyone "
Both of us work in public sector jobs where we need to be quite careful. For this reason, we don't have public face pics and only send face pics to peoples who are not local or we've already seen their face.
Ultimately though we are not doing anything that is illegal or dangerous and shouldn't have to explain our sex lives to anyone. Anybody who outed you would have to be looking on here to find you in the first place, so that would put them in the spotlight too.
Also, no employer would be concerned if you were having affairs or single and sleeping around, or meeting people through PoF/Tinder/Grinder... Why should they treat swinging any differently?
Cal |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"After some advice from others who may be in similar position.
I'm new to the scene. I'm also a registered professional with a governing body attached to my career.
Does this lifestyle put my career in jeopardy? How can you ensure discretion?
Any advice or experience would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks everyone "
Yes it could put your career in jeopardy. My advice would be have no photos with identifying features eg tattoos. Never publish or send explicit photos that show your face, never allow photos or videos to be taken of you. If you can plausibly deny that it's you in a photo you'll be OK.
I'd also add that you shouldn't put your exact location on your profile or exact age.
The probability of being outed is small though. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I have a friend who was outed to her employer (law firm) by someone she knew. Their HR department were quite relaxed about the whole thing once she’d explained what she did in her spare, not office time. Police got involved and they issued a caution to the culprit as he used his private email to do the deed...
I am a member of professional bodies and what they don’t know won’t hurt them.
These things tend to become a problem if you are posing / playing in your work uniform, with their logo, or on their premises. Then expect the ‘bringing them into disrepute’ conversation and exit letter.
Don’t share face photos with people you don’t know but you seem pretty switched on about that.
Otherwise have fun. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Last post ... spot on. The number of men who send pics in their uniform ....
I have a totally different email account for fab ... I decided whom i tell Im on here  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
To the OP, probably best to change your single public picture. We all love nurses but having a NHS uniform on show coupled with her tattoos shouldn’t be too hard for someone to track her down if they are in the same hospital. That makes the massive gender assumption the uniform is hers not yours. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"To the OP, probably best to change your single public picture. We all love nurses but having a NHS uniform on show coupled with her tattoos shouldn’t be too hard for someone to track her down if they are in the same hospital. That makes the massive gender assumption the uniform is hers not yours. "
Yep. The tattoos and uniform are immediately identifiable. If one partner is outed then so is the other.
It's basic really |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *Xtriple7Couple
over a year ago
N Peterborough. |
At the risk of teaching you to suck eggs...we have a dedicated SIM for fabs stuff.
It's surprising the amount of info that can be gleaned from a Google search of a mobile number.
Modern smartphone apps leak info too, we had Kik suggesting contacts who were on our device which would have meant that our profile is suggested if our number was in someone's contacts.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Thanks for advice everyone. I appreciate I may not be 100% but I'm very new and hence seeking advice.
So it may be basic but I genuinely just need some guidance to make this successful and keep me less stressed about it.
Thank you all  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Me and my other half were literally talking about this earlier today. He has a spare phone and sim card we were going to dedicate to Fab. Thanks for the helpful info x"
Be careful not call one 'normal' phone to your Fab phone. Did that and facebook started suggesting people as friends to be me potentially crossing my worlds over. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Spoken about this to a friend of mine who is a judge with much experience in the laws of employment.
He says the same as a poster above. That so long as it’s in your free time and you’re not posting a nude in your Royal Mail hat or something then it’s a private matter.
To the lady that was sacked, did you not get a written warning or anything beforehand? That’s awful. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"After some advice from others who may be in similar position.
I'm new to the scene. I'm also a registered professional with a governing body attached to my career.
Does this lifestyle put my career in jeopardy? How can you ensure discretion?
Any advice or experience would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks everyone "
In exactly the same way you would in ‘real life’. Dont do anything that breaches a code of conduct or ethics, don’t use your professional position to gain or assert influence and don’t display any uniform or insignia on pics. Don’t do those things and I can pretty much guarantee you’ll be fine both on and off fab. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"At the risk of teaching you to suck eggs...we have a dedicated SIM for fabs stuff.
It's surprising the amount of info that can be gleaned from a Google search of a mobile number.
Modern smartphone apps leak info too, we had Kik suggesting contacts who were on our device which would have meant that our profile is suggested if our number was in someone's contacts. "
That true ! One of the reasons we insist on using WhatsApp for potential meets is to have a nosey on Facebook at them, most people have it linked
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Keeping your actual home town disguised can be helpful too, as that narrows abilities to be tracked.
Create fantasy careers, with basic details that you may share of those but generally encourage discussion away from the topic.
Protection of your reputation and income is essential and some employers and professions can have clauses that don't welcome but prohibit the context of such activities.
Your human rights should permit you to engage as you want to but our society has yet to catch up with this.
Prevention and planning is the best way. Site supporter membership lets you optionally permit others to view your pics once only, thus making them more impossible to be saved by others. You can keep public pics as limited, with minimal content that may offend anyone etc.
Meeting others away from your area is helpful, including at clubs, hotels etc. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Thanks for advice everyone. I appreciate I may not be 100% but I'm very new and hence seeking advice.
So it may be basic but I genuinely just need some guidance to make this successful and keep me less stressed about it.
Thank you all "
You've got plenty of really good advice here  You've still got a picture of a really identifiable tattoo though.
I think it's a case of assessing the possible risk an acting accordingly. I'd advise teachers for instance to be very guarded about their profession because there's nothing more vindictive and judgemental than an outraged parent. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rouble1998Woman
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
I am in same boat (registered professional with governing body)
I do know of other people in my profession who are swingers however I choose to be pretty discreet. I won’t discuss my work with people I meet through fab/clubs etc. I just keep my sex life and my professional life separate and it hasn’t caused any issues as of yet |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"After some advice from others who may be in similar position.
I'm new to the scene. I'm also a registered professional with a governing body attached to my career.
Does this lifestyle put my career in jeopardy? How can you ensure discretion?
Any advice or experience would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks everyone "
It could do even though I believe it's illegal to sack you for sexual lifestyle. Instead it would come under "bring the reputation of the profession into a state of disrepute". So simply be careful what you put online. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Don’t use your company email or work computer/laptop/phone for anything swinging...
People sometimes don’t realize they have their company email address as their default email...
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Lots of sensible advice above especially not wearing uniform for photos. That said what you do sexually outside of work is now covered by plenty of employment case law and swinging is absolutely fine. Where people interact with anyone vulnerable then yes, ideally be discrete, not from an employer point of view but because other adults who are also involved in the care of said individual might be bigotted and generally make life hard for you.
We are very active on the fetish scene, including the potentially dangerous areas of bdsm which does have far more employment risks and some activities tread the fine line over what can be deemed to be legal or not. Fortunately the fetish community has the advantage of a barrister who can both advise and if necessary represents on a pro bono basis any such challenges.
Hope that helps and have fun! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
People have been sacked to certain interests or activities outside of their work. Some have even been sacked to posts on social media, which was deemed to bring their organizations into disrepute. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Me and my other half were literally talking about this earlier today. He has a spare phone and sim card we were going to dedicate to Fab. Thanks for the helpful info x"
Appreciate it’s a week later but it’s worth resetting your spare phone to its default settings and get a new email address for your extracurricular activities from Proton Mail.
Best of luck  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
. Can you get something done about your hair though? Surely a flunky could nip out for some gel or wax 
