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Sex life too dependent on clubs!
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We have been under lockdown now for almost 2 months and the last time I had sex was begining of March at Libs. Reflecting on the current situation, and I guess I am not alone here, I came to the realisation of how much my sex life is dependent on females and couples I meet in clubs. As there are no perspectives of clubs opening anytime soon, after over 10 years in the scene, I am seriously considering having a break on swinging and engage on a long term vanila relationship. Is anyone else having the same thoughts or am I putting the cart before the horses? |
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"Yes I know how you feel would be good to have a proper vanilla relationship....this lockdown has probably put things into prospective for lots of people ......   "
No doubt, very difficult times for we all.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I see where you are coming from sporty but we are completely the other way round as we were looking for Carol to have sex in clubs (hopefully the Townhouse) as she hasn’t had sex in over ten years and then they bloody close so we could be waiting a even longer time now.
I’m sure that you will be playing again soon but personally we are going to refrain until a vaccine is found due to fear!!!
Best of luck op and stay frosty out there.
T |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes to the first bit - my sex life was totally dependent on the clubs.
However no to the second question - if the clubs never reopened I still wouldn't be interested in a relationship.
A relationship would be far too intrusive and restrictive for my lifestyle just for the benefit of having sex on tap. |
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The right relationship would certainly take me off this site, however since my divorce I’ve enjoyed the freedoms I now have. That includes having partners of both sexes, dressing when I want and not being beholden to anyone else.
Must admit not had sex since earlier this year, so when the clubs do open ...watch out  |
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"Are you considering a long term relationship just for the sex? If so I'd advise against it. There's way more to it than that as I'm sure you know. "
Sex would be part of it, but certainly the plus and minuses of any relationship so I am looking for whole package. |
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"Are you considering a long term relationship just for the sex? If so I'd advise against it. There's way more to it than that as I'm sure you know.
Sex would be part of it, but certainly the plus and minuses of any relationship so I am looking for whole package. "
You could always look for a swinging relationship! I couldn’t be happy in a monogamous relationship now, I just don’t function that way. I’m lucky in that I met my partner in a club & we have been together 2 years.
Most singles will be in the same boat as you - the sex life of a singleton is totally dependent on hook ups, whether that’s in the swinging community or in the Vanilla world. LTR’s come with a lot of baggage & conditions & that’s just not worth it for me - unless there is the sort of openness that swinging allows!
It depends what it is you’re looking for I guess! |
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"Are you considering a long term relationship just for the sex? If so I'd advise against it. There's way more to it than that as I'm sure you know.
Sex would be part of it, but certainly the plus and minuses of any relationship so I am looking for whole package.
You could always look for a swinging relationship! I couldn’t be happy in a monogamous relationship now, I just don’t function that way. I’m lucky in that I met my partner in a club & we have been together 2 years.
Most singles will be in the same boat as you - the sex life of a singleton is totally dependent on hook ups, whether that’s in the swinging community or in the Vanilla world. LTR’s come with a lot of baggage & conditions & that’s just not worth it for me - unless there is the sort of openness that swinging allows!
It depends what it is you’re looking for I guess! "
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Good topic, many swinging couples weave their swinging and personal lives in a way that with this situation currently they are still having fun, but just less at the moment. As a single guy swinging is a social phenomena in my view(that is now currently banned) so the real question is about divising a personal life that is distinct and co exists from and with a social life that suits individuals needs. When I have been out in clubs there are options and choices to be made, for couples even moreso. I don't see that changing post covid 19, when the clubs are back up again. It is down to the govt to ensure and enforce safety in public employment spaces. However clubs, bars restaurants all create private social spaces for people to make and enjoy their free choices. Lord Sumption has recently spoken on the current situation and think his view is quite far and balanced. People make choices all the time but situations like this will cause people to reflect and adjust those choices going forward. I will be in a club as soon as they are allowed and open with no regrets. |
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"We have been under lockdown now for almost 2 months and the last time I had sex was begining of March at Libs. Reflecting on the current situation, and I guess I am not alone here, I came to the realisation of how much my sex life is dependent on females and couples I meet in clubs. As there are no perspectives of clubs opening anytime soon, after over 10 years in the scene, I am seriously considering having a break on swinging and engage on a long term vanila relationship. Is anyone else having the same thoughts or am I putting the cart before the horses?"
Fair play to you, for being so successful in the club scene, you’ve never thought to look outside it before now! My message filters are open to anyone, so if you would like to pass on any advice to another straight male, I would gratefully appreciate it
As for looking for a vanilla relationship until the clubs are allowed to open again, why? What is wrong with looking for swingers who meet privately? Or how about all these people you know from the club scene? What are they doing as they have nowhere to meet right now either? Won’t they be thinking of ‘diversifying’? 
So many people are putting more effort in to using Fab recently, and the clubs being closed have contributed to that for sure. Use this time to get to know people in the wider community, and bear in mind; swingers aren’t meeting, but neither are vanillas |
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