FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Master Dom tips
Master Dom tips
Jump to: Newest in thread
| |||
| |||
"Anyone got any tips regarding this. A girl I know wants me to be her Dom and I'd give it a try but just want some tips ideas on the idea begins the relationship and even some tasks and role play ideas. Thanks !" We like this    | |||
 | |||
| |||
"I’m going to watch this thread with interest then contribute x" And if anyone mentions reading a book that starts with the numbers five and zero they need to isolate even more | |||
| |||
"How many years you got... If your.not naturally that way dnt be a plastic one..... "Id agree with this, its something thats either there or isn't. Forcing it will never sustain. | |||
| |||
| |||
"Anyone got any tips regarding this. A girl I know wants me to be her Dom and I'd give it a try but just want some tips ideas on the idea begins the relationship and even some tasks and role play ideas. Thanks !" Start by talking to her There is no set rule book to follow. My experince of submissive women is they all want something unique. A sub dom relationship is just like any other relationship. It requires communication to work. That said, my collective experience with submissive women is they want to follow not to lead. It's more about being confident I yourself than deamnading out right control of them. Like others have said I think this is innate in some of us and not in others. Don't be something you are not.. You'll be found out quickly | |||
| |||
| |||
 | |||
| |||
"Thanks guys and girls ! I have always leant towards it and she seems to like me just taking charge . Giving her instructions about her daily life turns her massively on. I didn't know if there was a rule book to it ie certain thinfs that are do or don't. From reading some things online I am already a dom in training "Safe, sane, consensual are good rules to work by | |||
| |||
"Anyone got any tips regarding this. A girl I know wants me to be her Dom and I'd give it a try but just want some tips ideas on the idea begins the relationship and even some tasks and role play ideas. Thanks !" This question really rings a bell! I was in a similar situation many years ago and hadn't a clue! However, many years down the line. I have had quite a bit of experience and in the simplest terms would say the best advice is to listen to your proposed sub. They have a way of guiding the uninitiated and helping you in the right direction. Two ears, one mouth? Best of luck with the new lifestyle! Speaking from experience it's potentially the most fulfilling experience you'll ever have. Good luck! | |||
| |||
| |||
"Anyone got any tips regarding this. A girl I know wants me to be her Dom and I'd give it a try but just want some tips ideas on the idea begins the relationship and even some tasks and role play ideas. Thanks !" Would be hard to give you stuff to try without knowing both of your hard limits etc I mean what's hr pain tolerance? What excites her and puts her off. I had a gentleman who HATED being called pathetic etc it can cause a lot of trauma or bring up issues. If it helps one thing I do if I meet someone new is this...they give me 5 things they love, 5 things they don't love the idea of but are still comfortable with and hard limits. It's a good way to work out where the grey areas are x | |||
| |||
| |||
"nothing worse than wannabe dom i love sexually dom men(that i find attractive) but can tell a wannabe a mile off and its a massive turn off" .sick of so called doms ..easy to put on a profile much harder to attain. Far far toooo many wannabes who have no idea. .., indeed I’d be very very surprised if they knew anything about the bdsm scene .... | |||
| |||
 | |||
| |||
| |||
"Is it right that Sydney University rum a degree course in it? "Australia has enough sugar for rum. | |||
"Is it right that Sydney University rum a degree course in it?
Australia has enough sugar for rum."Doh, should be run May be wrong on it being a degree course, could be a masters | |||
| |||
"Is it right that Sydney University rum a degree course in it?
Australia has enough sugar for rum.
Doh, should be run May be wrong on it being a degree course, could be a masters "Theory doesn’t make masters. | |||
"Anyone got any tips regarding this. A girl I know wants me to be her Dom and I'd give it a try but just want some tips ideas on the idea begins the relationship and even some tasks and role play ideas. Thanks !" Tip. If you're having to ask then you're definitely not ready. I may even then question if it's in you. You may be wanting to giver her what she's wanting but I can see potential disappointment at best. | |||
| |||
"I was Dom to a cuck couple recently and to be honest if done right can be very rewarding and mentally demanding Find out what her limits are, for example does she like anal, does she like to be bound and gagged, does she like her clit or tits clamped, is spanking her thing ? Always have a safe word, domination of a female can provide highly sexual thrills than neither of you will encounter before or after but you need to stop in the heat of the moment if things become too much, hence the safe word " Plus find out what takes her to space, has she a safe place in drop, does she fall in love easily, can she adore you even if you take her to space in a way she is not in control? | |||
"Anyone got any tips regarding this. A girl I know wants me to be her Dom and I'd give it a try but just want some tips ideas on the idea begins the relationship and even some tasks and role play ideas. Thanks !" Always remember that it's the sub whom is in control, it is the sub that gives her/him self to you. Build trust by respecting boundries...then of course expand the boundries, when done correctly the sub will want to allow you to push their boundries if that is what pleases you. It is also what pleases most subs so once the trust, respect and balance is found the rest flows.  | |||
"I was Dom to a cuck couple recently and to be honest if done right can be very rewarding and mentally demanding Find out what her limits are, for example does she like anal, does she like to be bound and gagged, does she like her clit or tits clamped, is spanking her thing ? Always have a safe word, domination of a female can provide highly sexual thrills than neither of you will encounter before or after but you need to stop in the heat of the moment if things become too much, hence the safe word Plus find out what takes her to space, has she a safe place in drop, does she fall in love easily, can she adore you even if you take her to space in a way she is not in control?" Totally agree x | |||
| |||
"Anyone got any tips regarding this. A girl I know wants me to be her Dom and I'd give it a try but just want some tips ideas on the idea begins the relationship and even some tasks and role play ideas. Thanks ! Always remember that it's the sub whom is in control, it is the sub that gives her/him self to you. Build trust by respecting boundries...then of course expand the boundries, when done correctly the sub will want to allow you to push their boundries if that is what pleases you. It is also what pleases most subs so once the trust, respect and balance is found the rest flows. "Brilliant comment | |||
"If you're having to ask then you're definitely not ready. I may even then question if it's in you. You may be wanting to giver her what she's wanting but I can see potential disappointment at best." Don't be ridiculous, even a natural born Dom needs to learn, and that starts with questions and observations of others. I wouldn't go anywhere near a Dom that doesn't do any research!! OP, well done for asking. I've nothing to add to the posts above, some of them are spot on. | |||
| |||
"As well as the great pointers here, put some time in to imagining what would really turn you on, if you had free reign. Unlock your thoughts a bit and whatever would really turn you on is a great starter. You can become more creative from there, not having to sit within hackneyed tropes or silly things that may get trotted out in the media from time to time. Then communicate with your partner, to see where your areas of interest overlap. " Exactly this, work out what it is about having/taking control, giving pleasure and pain and so on and communicate that to your partner. It falls flat when the only reason is because they are into it. Also be clear with instructions. Subs are looking for safety and security, you can give that by really thinking through the instructions and not giving opportunities for loopholes! | |||
"If you're having to ask then you're definitely not ready. I may even then question if it's in you. You may be wanting to giver her what she's wanting but I can see potential disappointment at best. Don't be ridiculous, even a natural born Dom needs to learn, and that starts with questions and observations of others. I wouldn't go anywhere near a Dom that doesn't do any research!! OP, well done for asking. I've nothing to add to the posts above, some of them are spot on." Read very carefully the way he was asking and my response. He's not a Dom, and no matter how much research it won't make him a real Dom without it being a natural thing firstly. They go hand in hand. Of course they ask and research and practice. You said natural Dom. By his wording (and for a Dom this is very important) she's wanting him to be one, not him, he's wanting to please her for whatever reason. There's no natural tendancies evident. OP you'll find there are many wannabes who'll jump to give advice to show they know a little. Much can be gleaned from the internet. My advice is is not to get too much from here, but try joining FET and read great information there and go along to some Munches before you start on someone. | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"I disagree with the comments along the lines of "if you have to ask..." - whilst there *are* a lot of people (both sub and dominant) out there who are a danger both to themselves and others, I disagree that it's not possible to become a dominant - yes there is an element of natural instinct involved, but with the right attitude, approach and mindset it's not behind the realms of possibility to be one. My advice to you OP would be a number of things: - Talk to the lady concerned, find out both how she defines a dominant, and how she sees herself as a submissive, what she expects as a submissive from a dominant, whether she sees this as just a little added kink play, or if she's looking for the full on 24/7 whips and chains experience and much much more including what her limits and boundaries are - you can never talk too much, but you can talk too little - Seek out and read as much as you possibly can, both books and on-line - there are some very good blogs out there, the Screw The Roses book already mentioned is very good, SM101 would be another recommendation - use that reading to start to form your own idea of what type of dominant you think you might be, and don't be frightened to admit if you find it isn't for you either. - Get involved in on-line forums around the subject and draw on the knowledge and experience of others, or get along to local "munches" (socials for kinksters) when social distancing allows of course. - Complete some on-line questionnaires around BDSM, both the type that take a general look at your personality and where you might fit on a BDSM spectrum, but also the type that lists BDSM related activities and has you rate them 0-5 in terms of interest - have a potential submissive do the same, it not only helps you frame the dynamic with a potential partner, but also helps you find your own dynamic and interests, along with setting limits and boundaries. - Spend some time before taking any further steps doing some introspection and thinking about why you would like to take that step, what your interests are, what your limits and boundaries are and what kind of dominant you think you might be. - Remember there is no single "right" or definitive way to D/s or BDSM (although be prepared for many to tell you "their" way is), the only "right" way though is the one you agree to with one (or more) others and agree to from an informed and consenting position, there are however plenty of "wrong" ways. - You'll hear mention of Safe, Sane, Consensual (SSC) and Risk Aware Consensual Kink (RACK) a lot and they're both good mantras to live by. Finally and this is a personal one, if I remember correctly we met at someone's birthday bash at Jaydees a number of years ago, so have a mutual acquaintance in common - if you're still in touch with her, she's an incredibly knowledgeable person on the subject and has huge wisdom too, so you could do a lot worse than talk to her - if you're not sure who I mean, feel free to PM me "
My remark was in 'general' as there are so many on here that think they are for the wrong reasons. You have explained that. The context us important too, here on a swing/sex site and not a related site. So much advice will be titbits gleaned from the tinternet.
| |||
" My remark was in 'general' as there are so many on here that think they are for the wrong reasons. You have explained that. The context us important too, here on a swing/sex site and not a related site. So much advice will be titbits gleaned from the tinternet. " Oh I took it that way, hence the expanded response, and my comment was along the same lines and not directed. I agree that there are many here that have the wrong attitude and approach and indeed knowledge (both submissive and dominant) but in my experience of more catered sites there are just as many - however there are also (as this thread and others on the subject has shown) many knowledgeable people here too, who can offer a wealth of information and experience - the key for anyone like the OP is being able to identify those with that wisdom and those offering "titbits" | |||
" My remark was in 'general' as there are so many on here that think they are for the wrong reasons. You have explained that. The context us important too, here on a swing/sex site and not a related site. So much advice will be titbits gleaned from the tinternet. Oh I took it that way, hence the expanded response, and my comment was along the same lines and not directed. I agree that there are many here that have the wrong attitude and approach and indeed knowledge (both submissive and dominant) but in my experience of more catered sites there are just as many - however there are also (as this thread and others on the subject has shown) many knowledgeable people here too, who can offer a wealth of information and experience - the key for anyone like the OP is being able to identify those with that wisdom and those offering "titbits" " | |||
| |||
"If you're having to ask then you're definitely not ready. I may even then question if it's in you. You may be wanting to giver her what she's wanting but I can see potential disappointment at best. Don't be ridiculous, even a natural born Dom needs to learn, and that starts with questions and observations of others. I wouldn't go anywhere near a Dom that doesn't do any research!! OP, well done for asking. I've nothing to add to the posts above, some of them are spot on. Read very carefully the way he was asking and my response. He's not a Dom, and no matter how much research it won't make him a real Dom without it being a natural thing firstly. They go hand in hand. Of course they ask and research and practice. You said natural Dom. By his wording (and for a Dom this is very important) she's wanting him to be one, not him, he's wanting to please her for whatever reason. There's no natural tendancies evident. OP you'll find there are many wannabes who'll jump to give advice to show they know a little. Much can be gleaned from the internet. My advice is is not to get too much from here, but try joining FET and read great information there and go along to some Munches before you start on someone." | |||
"Anyone got any tips regarding this. A girl I know wants me to be her Dom and I'd give it a try but just want some tips ideas on the idea begins the relationship and even some tasks and role play ideas. Thanks !" I think you are naturally dominant or not. I don't think it is something you can learn so to speak. I know I could never dominate a woman even if she wanted me to. | |||
"Anyone got any tips regarding this. A girl I know wants me to be her Dom and I'd give it a try but just want some tips ideas on the idea begins the relationship and even some tasks and role play ideas. Thanks ! I think you are naturally dominant or not. I don't think it is something you can learn so to speak. I know I could never dominate a woman even if she wanted me to." I both agree and disagree - I think it's entirely possible for someone to learn to be if they possess certain character traits and gain an understanding of what D/s means for them and submissives that they meet and can find that mindset - but also think there are some who just don't have it in their make up to dominate, and include myself in that - it's just not me | |||
"Anyone got any tips regarding this. A girl I know wants me to be her Dom and I'd give it a try but just want some tips ideas on the idea begins the relationship and even some tasks and role play ideas. Thanks !" Rule 1; Don't be a dick Rule 2; Seriously, don't be a dick. Rule 3; Don't be a label, be the outcome your partner desires. That means spending a lot more time listening than you do telling. Rule 4: Did I mention not being a dick? Rule 5: Anyone who wants to write a book telling you how a dom should be, is mainly concerned with telling you how they think a dom should be. Work out who you want to be. Rule 6: Don't be a.... bloke who thinks there's a rule book for this. There isn't. Get consent, understand their desire, be the best you can be - those aren't rules, they're goals. Follow them, and good luck. | |||
| |||
"PRICK - personal responsibility, informed consentual kink RACK - risk-aware, consentual, kink SSC - safe, sane, consentual Learn them. Obide by them. These are your rules tbh. And remember, aftercare isn't just for the sub, aftercare can be for the Dom/me too. " | |||
"All seems to be sexually motivated. I wonder why ?????? It has no place in the true Dom/sub scene. "
One reason I steered OP away from fab (glorified sex site) for advice and towards a dedicated site.
Same reasoning for advice on tantric, which one often sees here. Here is all aimed at sex. Tantric isn't about that but rather about transcending the spiritual and sexual rather that leading to it. | |||
"Anyone got any tips regarding this. A girl I know wants me to be her Dom and I'd give it a try but just want some tips ideas on the idea begins the relationship and even some tasks and role play ideas. Thanks ! Would be hard to give you stuff to try without knowing both of your hard limits etc I mean what's hr pain tolerance? What excites her and puts her off. I had a gentleman who HATED being called pathetic etc it can cause a lot of trauma or bring up issues. If it helps one thing I do if I meet someone new is this...they give me 5 things they love, 5 things they don't love the idea of but are still comfortable with and hard limits. It's a good way to work out where the grey areas are x" Hi I've tried to mail you but can't. Could you wink so i can mail you. Thanks | |||
"How many years you got... If your.not naturally that way dnt be a plastic one..... " | |||
