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Introducing a vanilla partner

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Has anyone introduced their partner to the lifestyle? How did you approach it, did it work out, how long did it take? Has anyone had any real difficulty with the idea of sharing and how did you overcome it?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My wife actually, while I'd not done any swinging before her as I was younger and single so I slept with whoever I wanted to.

Though she was downright innocent before we met, which we've rectified.

I just spoke to her about it, she knew i was promiscuous before we met and we had spoken to each other about our sex lives previously as she hadn't had much of one before we got together, she was interested so we decided to explore. We enjoyed it and have carried on.

I guess it depends on the foundational strength of the relationship and how well you know the person

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By *edGMan over a year ago

Daventry

I wouldn't say we are swingers but we do involve others in our sex lives on an infrequent basis.

For us it happened totally unplanned and began very slow.

I think if I could offer any advice it would be to create an environment where it could happen and see how your wife feels. My wife was totally against it on the couple of occasions I brought it up early on in our marriage. When it happened it was because she felt inclined and aroused with the circumstances, not because I wanted her to do it.

Regarding the trust, we have never involved any close friends and are always open about our desires. We do play together and alone and each reserve the right to veto a proposed meet with no explanation necessary if uncomfortable.

We have had some great fun over the last 6 years.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 08/04/20 11:14:30]

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I guess it depends on the foundational strength of the relationship and how well you know the person"

Did you know/think she would enjoy swinging when you talked about it? Was it a matter of persevering?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I guess it depends on the foundational strength of the relationship and how well you know the person

Did you know/think she would enjoy swinging when you talked about it? Was it a matter of persevering?"

Female here

After talking about it we decided to go to a club and and just see how we feel. After an hour of decided what I should wear we got there and they told me was dress down. I nearly killed him but it's an ice breaker now. It took me about 4 visits to not hide behind my towel. Our first night we watched, chatted and played pool for a good while before lovely couple asked us to join them we started slow and they went our pace but let's just say we needed up getting into the swing of it with the couple and still great swinging friends now. I was sooo nervous as not as confident as I come across but knowing that it was up to us and me on what happens it helped xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"My wife was totally against it on the couple of occasions I brought it up early on in our marriage. When it happened it was because she felt inclined and aroused with the circumstances, not because I wanted her to do it."

Were there moments she fluctuated or found it difficult, or was it an easy process once you’d started?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Following, for research purposes

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Honesty us the key we find. We open and honest with everything. We know what we would like to do and no but that's changed and prob will do as we carry on xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Honesty us the key we find. We open and honest with everything. We know what we would like to do and no but that's changed and prob will do as we carry on xx"

Ughh must check before sending

Honesty is the key and things we not do

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Hey all, thanks for the responses so far. Just to make clear, this is Tabitha's post! I’m just an interested party for this one.

We’ve come to this point by a different route than most, judging by the comments and other forum posts. I’ve been in the lifestyle on and off for over 10 years, both as a single Male and with a previous partner. T is totally new to this and had a very conservative sex life before us! I mentioned swinging very early on as I’m ludicrously open and didn’t want it to be an issue later on. Because of this we talked quite a lot about it before we opened a couples profile.

Hopefully a bit of useful context, again, thanks for the constructive responses so far

Moose

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By *ain and sortedMan over a year ago

Old Harlow Essex

Hi all, I ventured into swinging after being widowed, some 10 years ago niw, found it a great release from the real world, so I've dated a few vanilla girls over that time, always open and honest so did tell them about the life style, luckily for me most were receptive especially the bi ones who wanted a nice environment to explore there sexuality always had a fab night out at clubs as a couple and new experiences they seemed to enjoy the fact it was naughty and a detachment to the real world, so I would say tread carefully as some will run for the hills, but if you really know someone they will be Intrigued, even a few ladies at work have mentioned they'd love to go just to see what goes on and they have no idea about me, Mr prim and proper haha x

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman over a year ago

all loved up

"Has anyone introduced their partner to the lifestyle? How did you approach it, did it work out, how long did it take? Has anyone had any real difficulty with the idea of sharing and how did you overcome it?"
for me it was a disaster. I tried ot slowly and with lots of talking x but ended with him getting very angry x

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By *lik and PaulCouple over a year ago

Flagrante

I was open about being a swinger when I first met Flik. It was her that was interested in knowing more so we spoke about it over a long period of time. When we both felt it was time to explore together we went to Chams and the rest is history. It took about a year to get to that point as this lifestyle should never be entered into lightly.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We'd both never tried anything so i guess we introduced each other. One morning we lay in bed chatting about stuff we'd done previously, i said would love to see you sucking a cock...we joined fab that morning..chatted to a guy in the afternoon...that evening we were in a room at a hotel and she was sucking a guys cock. That easy really and from there we've done it all.

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By *ain and sortedMan over a year ago

Old Harlow Essex

"Has anyone introduced their partner to the lifestyle? How did you approach it, did it work out, how long did it take? Has anyone had any real difficulty with the idea of sharing and how did you overcome it?for me it was a disaster. I tried ot slowly and with lots of talking x but ended with him getting very angry x"

Think sometimes it's just someone else's idea of being unfaithful so not fir everyone, but once a swinger always one x

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman over a year ago

all loved up

"Has anyone introduced their partner to the lifestyle? How did you approach it, did it work out, how long did it take? Has anyone had any real difficulty with the idea of sharing and how did you overcome it?for me it was a disaster. I tried ot slowly and with lots of talking x but ended with him getting very angry x

Think sometimes it's just someone else's idea of being unfaithful so not fir everyone, but once a swinger always one x "
he doesnt mind me doing it as long as he doesnt see or hear it x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My wife actually, while I'd not done any swinging before her as I was younger and single so I slept with whoever I wanted to.

Though she was downright innocent before we met, which we've rectified.

I guess it depends on the foundational strength of the relationship and how well you know the person"

Yes, this. And simply communicating honestly from the very beginning about who you are sexually, your past etc.. it makes for a much much closer relationship. I can't understand couples who are "too shy" or scared to discuss sex and sexual fantasies among themselves. They are really missing out

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By *ain and sortedMan over a year ago

Old Harlow Essex

My wife actually, while I'd not done any swinging before her as I was younger and single so I slept with whoever I wanted to.

Though she was downright innocent before we met, which we've rectified.

I guess it depends on the foundational strength of the relationship and how well you know the person

They most derinately are missing out, but some couples are together for different reasons I guess x

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