It took her an unusually long time to come back to Earth after an experience like that. Her world had shifted on its axis, as it were. The sex had been unlike anything she’d ever experienced before, and the flashbacks reverberated vividly through her mind. It tampered with her senses the way that Peter’s cologne had.
It was a shame he wasn’t local. One of the reasons she only met locally, normally. But sometimes exceptions have to be made, don’t they?
She and Peter talked pretty regularly for awhile, no concrete thoughts to a future meet. It seemed like a friendship was blossoming. She tried very hard to make sure that she wasn’t imposing on him, but time and again he insisted that she wasn’t. Maybe... maybe she was indeed worthy. Not that she normally thought along those lines.
Some time later, Peter suddenly suggested that he was in town and available. These last minute meet requests did her head in, although she understood that here there were extenuating circumstances. Unfortunately, she had tickets to the hottest play in town, in the country. Critically acclaimed, had been sold out for months. She couldn’t possibly miss it.
She felt her clitoris throb as another flashback tore through her mind, vivid enough that her pussy clenched and she took in a sharp intake of breath. Knowing what she was turning down. Fuck, it might even be better. It was just ever so slightly out of her reach. And she felt pretty conflicted about it.
Peter wasn’t quite as understanding as she might have hoped. He claimed to understand, but there was something about the way he put it that made her question. Tiny seeds of doubt in her mind. Surely she was being paranoid. He wasn’t like that, was he?
Unusually, he told her in excruciating detail what he wanted to do to her. It played on her mind all through the performance, which was a shame, really. The play was quite extraordinary, and she’d remember it for a long time to come.
The strangeness continued afterwards. The dynamic with Peter had changed. For some reason it felt like she was now on the back foot all the time, apologetic. She wondered what had happened, hoped that things could return. He’d said she was important to her and he’d be there for her... right?
She gave it a little while, put her utmost into it. She cared a lot about Peter, or at least the Peter she’d known before the play. She didn’t like this new version very much, but the insecurities of her youth seemed to return. She wanted to be good enough. It ate at her.
One of those things you need to be as a woman on Fab, particularly an unusual woman on Fab, is sure of yourself. She’d built most of that up, and for some reason Peter had discovered her weaknesses. Achilles’ mother really should have bathed him more thoroughly (as she used to joke after she had a serious ankle injury). She was strong, though, and she guarded herself carefully.
There was no epiphany as such. No dramatic story to tell. Sometimes life isn’t like that, it’s gradual transformation rather than lightning bolts from the sky. The details were trivial, unimportant.
She began to add up the strangeness, and realised that it permeated through the dynamic that she had with Peter. That she’d always been on the back foot, that the nastiness and power games that had emerged had always been there. Down to the things that she’d rather not think about during the mind blowing marathon sex that continued to play on her mind. She’d either been blind, or unable to see.
She’d been down this path before. Silly little mind games, whether malicious or inadvertent, designed to prop up men who couldn’t deal with their crap. It was one of those things that could threaten her sanity if she wasn’t careful. Nothing, absolutely nothing, was worth that. Not even phenomenal sex. She’d spent far too long sorting her crap out, not to have it all undone because other people wouldn’t work on theirs.
She looked through the carefully crafted profile, the wonderfully posed and strategically filtered photos. From the privacy of her own lounge, smiled ruefully to herself. Conflicted again.
There was a reason why she did things the way she did.
She blocked Peter.
He wasn’t out of her league. She was out of his. |