So it was close to 7 o'clock when the two of them finally got back. They had been for a coffee after shopping, which apparently had then turned into two coffees.
I suspected that they just hadn't wanted to come back too early.
I reckoned that the plan they would have cooked up between them, would probably have been to discuss their relationship over dinner and then have the threesome.
So if they came back too early, way before dinner, we were going to have a slightly weird and uncomfortable time, making small talk about something and nothing, whilst we all avoided mentioning the reason we were all together that evening.
Otherwise we would have to have the conversation before dinner. But because we couldn't reach a final agreement without my wife giving her consent to me seeing other women, and because, in turn, she couldn't do that before she had seen how she felt about me fucking Karen, that meant either postponing our FFM until after dinner, or not eating.
The first option, obviously wasn't an option at all. The second one wouldn't be a catastrophe, but it was much more civilised to discuss things over a meal and a nice bottle of wine and then take things upstairs... assuming that's where we were going to do it.
They came into the lounge carrying most of the contents of Llandudno's shops between them. I made the standard bloke joke, asking whether or not they had left anything for anyone else. And my wife gave the equally standard "ha, bloody ha" in reply.
I said hello to Karen and my wife ordered me into the kitchen to see what they had brought back from Marks for tea.
They had bought themselves some chicken breasts in a white wine sauce, with some sweet potato wedges and asparagus. And for me they had bought pasta, with red peppers and sundried tomatoes.
I wondered if the pasta was to give me some extra energy for the night ahead.
"Is that OK?" my wife asked. "We didn't think you would mind having something different to us"
I noted the 'we' and 'us'. They were already making decisions as a pair, as a couple.
I said that was fine. I actually much preferred what they had bought for me anyway.
They had also bought a nice Chardonnay for themselves and a Shiraz for me, which my wife knew was my favourite. As, indeed, did Karen, not that she could have said so.
Then my wife pulled a bottle of rose gin from one of the bags.
"We couldn't resist that" she said, plonking it down on the worktop and scuttling off to get three glasses and some tonic.
She poured a decent amount of gin into each glass and then said "Watch this". She added the tonic and the gin changed from a pale gold colour to a vibrant pink.
"Wow!" I said, although I wasn't really that impressed. They were both delighted at the effect and I thought it best to join in and share their enthusiasm.
My wife handed one of the drinks to Karen, who had been strangely quiet up to this point, and then turned to me and gave me one of the exaggerated grins she used when she was about to ask for something a little bit cheeky.
"Could you sort the food out if me and Karen go upstairs to try out a few of the clothes we bought?"
I knew this was another tactic to avoid small talk.
"Fine" I said. "Shall I keep all the other food you bought too then?"
She smiled again "Thanks babe"
As they left the kitchen she turned round again and said "Don't drink all the gin!"
To which Karen added "And don't burn the food". She smiled at me and then, as she followed my wife out of the kitchen, turned quickly and winked.
The pair of them headed upstairs, like teenagers off to try on outfits for the school disco.
The food took 40 minutes. During which time I could hear them laughing loudly upstairs. They obviously did get on very well. It was clearly more than sexual between them.
I laid the table, opened the wine and plated up the food, calling the two women down to eat just before 8.
"This looks lovely" said Karen, taking her seat.
We exchanged pleasantries, about the meal, the things they had bought, where they had been and my wife's colleague, Liz, who they had bumped into in Primark.
It turned out that Liz and Karen knew each other, as they were both Special Needs Co-ordinators in their respective schools and had been on a couple of training courses together.
Karen and I both knew of my wife's fantasy about corrupting straight-laced Liz, so we just looked at each other and smiled knowingly, as my wife blushed and moved the conversation on to the colour-changing gin.
The main thing was that we relaxed, drank the wine and the conversation quickly became natural, not forced or stilted. I guess that was only to be expected, seeing as how we did actually all know each other. Intimately.
We talked, we laughed, and when the main courses were finished, I cleared the plates and brought through the desserts they had bought; Crema Catalana in little earthenware dishes. They were sold in packs of two, so they had one each and I had two and told them I refused to apologise for being a pig, as they had to be eaten.
Fetching the desserts provided a natural break in the conversation. So, when I returned and sat down again, I took the opportunity to raise the subject of their relationship.
The discussion was quick. In fact there really was nothing to discuss. I told them that I could see how well they got on. That there was no problem on my part with their relationship being more than just a casual thing.
I addressed them jointly, as if they were a couple, and I asked them what they wanted and how they saw this working. Surprisingly, it was my wife who answered.
She said that it wouldn't be anything structured, she wouldn't be staying with Karen on set days and with me on others. She was my wife, my spouse, my next of kin, all those things. That wasn't going to change. But she wanted Karen to be her girlfriend.
So she would stay over at Karen's, on an adhoc basis, but pretty frequently. Sometimes, often, she might stay the whole weekend, leaving our house on a Friday morning and returning after work, and Zumba, on a Monday night.
And maybe if I was away, Karen would stay at ours. She suggested that we could buy a double bed for one of the spare rooms, and that's where they would sleep when Karen stayed over.
I think, from the way she said that, and the way she looked at Karen when she said it, as if she was suggesting it to her as well as to me, that that was an idea that had just occurred to her then.
I told her that was OK and that it didn't matter if I was here or not. If they had been somewhere, for example, and Karen wanted to stay at ours, they could sleep together in 'their' room.
My wife asked how I would feel about them going away on holiday together. As they were both teachers, they would have a lot more holidays than me and would have them at the same time.
Again, I said I didn't have a problem with that. In fact it seemed stupid for them not to take those opportunities for some time away together.
I wanted to make it all as desirable and tantalising as possible for my wife.
I asked them what each of them would do about seeing other people; other men or other women. I wanted to clarify exactly what the status of their relationship was going to be.
I partly knew the answer, already, at least as far as Karen was concerned. I knew she would still be seeing men, still be having her club nights. There was no way she was about to give up cock. But I wanted to know what my wife's intentions were and I was intrigued as to whether or not they intended to see other women. I also wanted to know if they were going to be playing alone, together, or both.
Karen answered first. They would be seeing other people. Men and women. Then my wife added that sometimes they might meet others as a couple. That 'sometimes' therefore confirming that at other times they would be playing solo.
All of which brought us nicely, and quite genuinely, to the real matter of the evening.
"So on Monday night you told me that you didn't think you could continue with all this, because you didn't like the idea of me sleeping with other women" I said
"No, I know" my wife looked pensive. Apprehensive even. She knew what was going to have to happen now.
I continued... "And you said that on that basis, you didn't think that you could carry on doing what you were doing either, because you didn't think it was fair to ask me to stop, but carry on yourself"
"I know. I did think that" she corrected herself "I do think that"
"But now you are saying that you want to carry on. Not just that you want to have a poly relationship with Karen, but that you want to carry on seeing others as well"
I wasn't being accusatory, I was just trying to lay the bare facts before us all.
"I hadn't thought that I could have an... arrangement... like this when I said that" she answered.
"So where does that leave me? What do you think I am going to do? You want all this" I gestured towards the pair of them. "but are you still expecting me to be monogamous?"
"I can't, can I... I just have to accept it" and she paused. "I just don't know if I can. When I thought about you being with another woman on Sunday, I felt sick"
She stopped and looked at Karen. Her next words were for her. "I do want everything we have talked about. I just don't know if I can do it"
"Well, no offence hun" I said "but you do need to make your mind up about what you want. I'm happy to let you lead whatever life you want, whatever makes you happy. But there has to be some give and take"
"I know. And when I thought about it again... I mean...the more I have thought about it, the more I have thought 'it's just sex', but I don't know if the next time I think you are with someone... I mean... whether I really could handle it or not"
She turned back to Karen. "I just don't want to build your hopes up either, and start something, and then let you down"
Finally, Karen spoke. "Well I think we might have started something already babe"
"I know" my wife said and held out her hand to Karen, and then turned to look at me. "I'm honestly not trying to be a selfish bitch. But I don't want to let anyone down"
"Nobody thinks you're being selfish" Karen said to her. And then, to both of us, she said "Look, I have a suggestion"
Here it comes, I thought... I knew what was coming next.
We all knew what was coming next. We just had to pretend that we didn't.
"I think it's the thought of him having sex. Like you said, it's just sex, it's no big deal. I think maybe if you saw him with another woman, just once, you would realise that it's OK, no big deal. You could handle it. And then you would be OK with it afterwards"
"Maybe" my wife said, "how is that going to happen though?"
Which, frankly, is a pretty stupid question for someone on Fab to be asking. But she needed to ask it, to set Karen up.
"How about with me?" Karen said "now I mean, the three of us. We could have a little harmless fun, all of us together, and in the middle of it, he could do it with me, and hopefully you will see that it's fine, it's nothing, just sex. He's still your guy. And then you can carry on having your fun, and he can have his, and we're all happy "
She shrugged her shoulders, but she already knew what my wife's answer would be.
My wife waited a few seconds, as if considering the proposal. I have to say that she looked convincing. Unless she was really having to think about it. Even at that late stage.
"OK" she said.
"Great" said Karen and turned to me.
"Right. Where do you want us then...?"
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