How did I feel about it?
Truth be told, I already knew I was more than happy with her seeing other men. That was one of the original goals I had when I embarked on this little project. To turn her into a Hotwife.
Partly because the idea really turned me on. But also because if she embraced this lifestyle, then surely she would have to reciprocate and allow me the same degree of freedom that I gave to her. That was the theory, the hope, anyway. I was fed up with sneaking around. Fed up with going home worried because my shirt smelt of Beth's perfume, or my beard still smelt of Chloe's cunt.
Above all, I wanted to stop lying to the woman I loved. However much I enjoyed my extra-marital liaisons, I sometimes didn't like the person I had become. I didn't like being a guy who cheated. I didn't like being a liar. I had always prided myself on being an honest person.
So much so, that when I was with my wife, just after I had been with another woman, I couldn't bring myself to be loving or affectionate with her, because of the hypocrisy of it. And, in turn, she noticed that and thought it was because I didn't want her. And that was probably exacerbating the problems with our own sex life, pushing us further away from each other.
The problem was I just couldn't stop it. Because I also liked the thrill of it. Not just the actual secret meets for illicit sex, but the hunt, the chase. The buzz I got when an 'unread message' notification popped up on Fab, with all the promise it potentially held as my finger hovered over it. So wasn't this the perfect solution? Bring my wife into the lifestyle, so that I could still enjoy other women, and still enjoy the chase, but freely now, with less limitations and more opportunities, and with a clear conscience.
But I hadn't dreamed that things could progress this far, this fast. I realised at that moment that my wife must have been like a powder keg, ready to explode. She must have been so frustrated herself. Unless, of course, she was as adept at keeping secrets as I was...
She'd been away; weekends with the girls, hen parties, teaching conferences. She had had opportunities aplenty. She had also, ironically, had the nights when I had been away, genuinely, with work, and the nights I had said were with work, but weren't. But there was no point going there now. Besides, I was hardly in a position to be outraged. Anything past was past. The important thing now was to focus on the future. Where was all this going?
So what exactly did I want? I really hadn't thought it through properly. I probably thought I would have time to let things develop slowly. I hadn't thought I would need to have this conversation already.
Maybe I had thought that she would play with Karen for a little while, explore that situation first and come to terms with her bisexuality. Then maybe another woman, or women. All with my encouragement and direction, through Karen.
And when the time was right I probably would have asked Karen to take her to a club. That would have been the best way to float the idea of her fucking other men too. To put her in that environment. But Karen had smashed that cosy little timescale right out of the ballpark.
But actually it probably wasn't Karen, was it. The truth was that it wouldn't, couldn't, have all moved so fast unless my wife had been so ready and willing to embrace it all.
So...I was happy for her to play with other women. That much was a given. Other men? Yes, I wanted her to. I loved the idea of her going on dates with other guys. And threesomes? Yes, maybe that would be how she first went with different guys? We could play as a couple first, then maybe I could leave them alone? And after that she could meet them by herself. That all sounded good to me.
What about more than one other guy? Did I want to see her enjoy two or more other guys at once, be the centre of attention in a cock scrum, a load of guys buzzing around her, whilst she, on her back, or on all fours, took them one after the other? Yes, I was getting hard at the thought of it.
What about going to clubs to play? That would be great and what happened there happened. No point in planning it, just go in with an open mind. If she played, fine. If we played with another couple, either a foursome or a swap, fine.
What if she decided that she wanted to go on the bench or the cross? I thought that would be further down the line and by that stage, if she had had enough other cock, I would probably be quite turned on by it.
And perhaps Karen might become something more than a fuckbuddy in time. Maybe she really would become poly. I actually found that idea quite appealing. I thought that would be great for her. For us, although Karen and I could never play together again. The potential for a misplaced comment betraying our own past, and the consequences of that, were too great to risk.
And hopefully through all this, our sex life would improve again. But I also expected that she would accept that I too was allowed to play with others. Perhaps once she had seen me with another woman in a club, or maybe if we had an FFM. After that she would be OK with the idea of me taking other lovers too.
That all sounded good. I knew what I wanted. So I replied to my wife's question; how did I feel about it?
"I feel OK about it, I think" I said. "Obviously we need to talk it through properly. What kind of things you are interested in, how it would work, how would we do it, the boundaries etc"
I smiled at her. I was trying not to appear too eager. I didn't want her to suspect that I had cleverly engineered all this behind her back, largely for my own, selfish ends, if I'm truly honest.
"I think it would be good for us" I continued "we obviously need some kind of spark. I think we could have a lot of fun"
"Oh" she said, and winced "Sorry, I didn't mean that we would do it together... I just meant me..."
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