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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I just flew back from Milan, and I'm fucking exhausted. I was thrown out of a karaoke bar last night for rolling on the floor and crying during the bridge of Journey's 'Don't Stop Believing'. But this thread is not about karaoke. It is about a stripper. So let's get right to it, shall we?
I got into town on Wednesday afternoon and began partying. My friends and I were staying at well known hotel but were ejected from the posh bar soon after we checked in. We decided to check out the local strip club instead. I was pissed because I wanted to say hello to local hotties not get some lame ass lap dance. I don't like strip clubs because I refuse to pay for sex of any kind, besides it's rumoured I can break into the cock cave of any woman in any country, especially in Milan since The Duke is of Italian heritage. But I went along for the ride and sat there with a glass of red which was smokey with sutle hints of cherry while the boy's had their fun.
So this girl sat down across the booth from me. It turned out she worked there, but had decided to take the day off because there weren't enough customers and there were to many chicks in the joint. I started running my routines on her and busting her balls, (Luckily she was an American student so no language barrier). My friends were looking at me like I was insane because I kept calling her a dork.
She kept saying, “you are so cocky” and started really getting into me. My friends watched this with open mouths. I told her we were going back to our hotel and she should call her “hot ho friends”. She got pissed at that so I instantly changed the subject. “Oh my God, my friend is so weird, she eats lemons whole, just like an orange bah blah”. And this made her forget. More routines-boom, boom, boom. This went on for a while. We all left together.
When we got back to the hotel, I told her we should drop her shit off in my room. I ran a line about having standards, 'I'm so sick of dating these chicks who do drugs all the time and have plastic surgery. You're not like that are you? She attempted to qualify herself and claimed she was a stripper with a brain............................................................Then I asked her if she was a good kisser, and we made out for a while. I halted proceedings and suggested we go downstairs for a drink.
In the hotel bar my friends just ogled the stripper. So I told her I was tired and needed to go to sleep, and she should come up and read me a bedtime story. She asked, 'What are we going to do? Bad things? I've only known you thirty minutes!'
I said, 'sheeesh! I hope not! I have to wake up early tomorrow if I'm to make the 3.10 to Yuma. Besides, I have whisky dick.'
We go up to the suit and two friends are in there so I hurriedly pushed them out. The chick looked at the desk and said, 'Someone has been doing on here. I can tell I'm a stripper.'
I serenaded the stripper. I sang 'Where Are We Now' by Justin Beiber. I told her I wanted to cuddle, and we did and just talked awhile. I then announced I would show her a trick so I climbed on top of her and initiated toungedown. I told her, 'I want to lick it,' and took off her leggings. No panties. I inspected her for sores, then began the licking. She had a clit piercing, which I'd never encountered before, it clicked on my teeth weirdly. I inserted two moisturised fingers and licked her into submission. Then I said, 'Too bad I have whisky dick.'
She said, 'It looks OK to me,' and I fucked the shit out of her.
I had never seen real tits this big on a skinny girl. Oh my fucking God, this was the third hottest chick I've fucked, my first stripper and a solid 9. Indeed my mighty serpent drilled her a new baby box. I cuddled and snuggled with her afterwards. She expressed shock at my many injuries and scars. I kissed this little-ass, adorable-ass stripper mothafucka tenderly and said, 'I'm just dealing with the absurdity of existence by shoving absurdity down existence's throat.'
She gave me her number and told me to call her.
After I had bathed in Dettol I went back downstairs to catch up with my buddies but I was still in a cum coma. By the end of the night, after getting thrown out of the karaoke club, I was just just going up to chicks and d*unkenly bellowing. I ended up getting thrown out of another strip club.
The last thing I remember is sitting up in my bed watching the TV, confused and screaming at nobody. 'What the fuck am I watching, Is this the Disney channel?' until I realized that it was just an episode of Punk'd where they were pranking Zac Efron. Then I passed out.
Duke has spoken. #Duke |
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