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a satirical view of my town
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Right before we start this is 100% true I know most won't believe me but I know it's true because I made it up myself  
It was just gone 11 as I stumbled out of the local working man's club,i was 2 sheets to the wind after all I had drank 3 pints of lager shandy and a vodka chaser.
I could afford it my benefits had gone in the bank that morning.
I made my way to the local takeaway for a greasy kebab,i never thought for 1 minute that I would be making love to lady kebab not 5 minutes later.
There in the doorway stood a vision of beauty, about 5'6" blonde hair greased back into a ponytail.
Dressed in finest primani a lovely pink velour tracksuit with the top rising just enough to reveal the obligatory "tramp stamp" tattoo and stretched marked hips.
She wore matching air max trainers and extensive Warren James jewellery, and topped it off with a roll up cigarette perched just so in the corner of her mouth. She looked like something straight from my favourite television programme Jeremy kyle.
Then she spoke wow she uttered the words " alright gorgeous fancy a fuck" well what could I say,other than stutter ye ye yes.
She led me by the hand down an alleyway behind the local shops. She soon dropped to her knees and pulled out my now throbbing cock,spat on my helmet and took me deep down her throat, after a couple of deep socks I told her I was going to cum. She shouted not yet your not you bastard you still have two holes to go.
She laid back on a stack of disused pallets at the back of B+Ms after roughly pulling one leg from her trackie bottoms, she demanded I eat her kebab. To be honest it looked like a kebab it oozed something that looked like garlic mayo and had bits of stubble all over,but in for a penny and all that.
She told me she wanted to sit on my face and peddle my ears,
So I laid down on the pallets so she could climb on,imagine my shock when the kinky fucker picked up 2 poundland carrier bags that were blowing around in the wind and used them to tie my hands to the pallets.
She ride my face with vigour while taking my throbbing member back down her throat.
After a few minutes she turned round and slid her bucket pussy down my cock, it was like chucking a worm into the grand canyon. She ride me while rolling another cigarette,
She flicked fag ash in my face and called me a man whore, god I nearly came with the filth that came out of her mouth.
After a few minutes of riding my now fit to burst cock she untied me, bent over and demanded I shove it in the " wrong un", well I was only too happy to oblige. I pounded away for another 30 seconds before declaring I was going to blow.
She flipped round and and took me deep in her mouth while telling me to shoot my muck down her throat.
I came so much I thought my balls would implode and collapsed exhausted on the pallets, the sneaky chase tied my hands again and took a discarded " desperados" bottle and used it like a butt plug on me. I begged her to stop but she just laughed and pushed it all the way in,she got dressed rolled another fag blew me a kiss and left.
Leaving me trousers round my ankles tied to a stack of pallets with a bottle hanging out of my used arsehole.
I never saw that gorgeous girl again but the shop staff that eventually untied me after lots of laughter pointing and photos for Facebook the next morning well that's another story..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is there nobody else with a sense of humour on this site "
i must have one . ive looked back at some of the things ive done and some ive met .... bet they think the same of me though lol  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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To be honest it could be many parts of Durham I could have quite easily associated it with peterlee, consett or Newton aycliffe even it's pretty much the same lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Haha no intention to put anyone's nose out of joint I have lived all over in County Durham all of my life and I know others think it's an idyllic part of the world and it is.
It was written tongue in cheek but these types of people are evident everywhere now and in my line of work unfortunately I get to meet them every weekend lol  |
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