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battle of the sexes - not for the faint hearted

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By *ingjay OP   Man  over a year ago

exeter

Ok few things I certainly noticed about the two sexes, although men are lumped together we accept this "we're blokes" that's just us, it extremely hard for a woman to be "lumped together" or compared to any other woman, "I'm nothing like her" type attitude. They shoot men down for 'generalizing' or stereo typing, why is no woman can acknowledge she has traits the same as most women?? It's like we swear at you, I've seen it with ex's the worst thing you can ever do is compare them to another ex!! When behavioral patterns, attitudes, and general take on life is exactly the same.

Women have their groups of friends most are probably different but some are just like each other, they don't see beyond this bubble of female behaviour see the truth because they rarely criticise each other or see that behavioral patterns are not anything but normal - from an outsiders or male perspective it's easy to see that most females are alike and share many of the same traits but you try convincing a woman she isn't 'completely individual' .....

Que firing squad ( and "I'm not like that your generalizing" posts)

Ps I'm gonna sign off for the evening got loads of things to do enjoy xxx

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

The trouble with women is that they take things too personally.

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By *rettylittlegirlWoman  over a year ago

Cardiff

Is this a story or fantasy?

I suppose it's a fantasy....

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By *rettylittlegirlWoman  over a year ago

Cardiff

[Removed by poster at 22/01/14 01:14:25]

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By *rettylittlegirlWoman  over a year ago

Cardiff

Maybe it's because it's late, or because I'm in work and have nothing better to do but I'm actually going to dignify this with a response.

Human behaviour, or more accurately what you're describing here as societal norms are of course replicated and repeated amongst many people, regardless to gender. You'll see these behaviours described a lot in social sciences as being the 'hegemony'. Hegemony meaning the main way of thinking, acting or behaving in a societal group.

Now let's look at taking away your gender stereotypes here and illuminate what about your behaviour seems to be offending your sexual partners or as you put it 'queuing a firing squad'.

1. Comparison

Nobody, regardless to their gender or stance on the glory of monogamous relationships, likes to feel that their performance or identity is only viewed by their partner in terms of comparison to another.

The feelings that comparison evokes can often be anywhere from crass and uncomfortable to just down right upsetting.

Whether your saying to your boyfriend that your lover has a bigger, brighter shinier cock than him... Or to your girlfriend that her mate has better breasts, regardless to the gender of the recipient of your 'home truths' comparison to another person, specifically when expressing how person B highlights the inadequacies of person A is never going to be a smart move. It's upsetting. It isn't gender biased.

2. "Most females are alike"

Well yes and no. As you have correctly pointed out, many women do share similar behaviours, whether that be the desire to bare children, find a partner, or many of the other primitive driving ideas that filter between the genders.

When you look beyond those basic instincts, (which I would hope many people here, in what should be a liberal community of people finding unity in possessing an a-typical sexual identity do) everyone is, even in small ways, quite different, regardless to their gender. Everyone has their own individual traits that make them different and unique.

Most people like to feel special and important, it makes the pains of life more tolerable.

Most people whether monogamous or polyamorous like to feel that have a small special place in their partner's heart that cannot be fulfilled by anyone else. That's very human, very understandable and does not hold a gender binary. The need to feel special is not female specific.

3. "Women don't criticise"

It seems that the crux of your argument which is that all women are the same, stems from the ideas that we don't realise that we're the same because none of us have ever brought it to each other's attentions? Am I right?

You think that woman don't criticise other women? Oh buddy, we're experts! It's common knowledge how the language that women use and the images of perfection that we are constantly bombarded with do nothing but allow women to damage other women. Why do you think Hello magazine, diet pills and self help books are so popular? Because the majority of us are all still attempting to subconsciously beat back other bitches to reach our end goal... Though that's a whole other complicated issue.

Now I would go on and recommend you some really interesting reading on the difference in gender thought patterns, because I'm really interested in this topic and have quite a lot of knowledge on the subject. But realistically you don't strike me as someone who's ever made it past Dick and Jane...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

got bored at the hegemony bit...probably topical of a male I guess

I digress

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By *AM2214Man  over a year ago

Manchester Area

He could always study with the OU. Level One Sociology addresses Hegemony, Idenity, Belonging, Signe and Signifiers and all sorts of interesting stuff.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Maybe it's because it's late, or because I'm in work and have nothing better to do but I'm actually going to dignify this with a response.

Human behaviour, or more accurately what you're describing here as societal norms are of course replicated and repeated amongst many people, regardless to gender. You'll see these behaviours described a lot in social sciences as being the 'hegemony'. Hegemony meaning the main way of thinking, acting or behaving in a societal group.

Now let's look at taking away your gender stereotypes here and illuminate what about your behaviour seems to be offending your sexual partners or as you put it 'queuing a firing squad'.

1. Comparison

Nobody, regardless to their gender or stance on the glory of monogamous relationships, likes to feel that their performance or identity is only viewed by their partner in terms of comparison to another.

The feelings that comparison evokes can often be anywhere from crass and uncomfortable to just down right upsetting.

Whether your saying to your boyfriend that your lover has a bigger, brighter shinier cock than him... Or to your girlfriend that her mate has better breasts, regardless to the gender of the recipient of your 'home truths' comparison to another person, specifically when expressing how person B highlights the inadequacies of person A is never going to be a smart move. It's upsetting. It isn't gender biased.

2. "Most females are alike"

Well yes and no. As you have correctly pointed out, many women do share similar behaviours, whether that be the desire to bare children, find a partner, or many of the other primitive driving ideas that filter between the genders.

When you look beyond those basic instincts, (which I would hope many people here, in what should be a liberal community of people finding unity in possessing an a-typical sexual identity do) everyone is, even in small ways, quite different, regardless to their gender. Everyone has their own individual traits that make them different and unique.

Most people like to feel special and important, it makes the pains of life more tolerable.

Most people whether monogamous or polyamorous like to feel that have a small special place in their partner's heart that cannot be fulfilled by anyone else. That's very human, very understandable and does not hold a gender binary. The need to feel special is not female specific.

3. "Women don't criticise"

It seems that the crux of your argument which is that all women are the same, stems from the ideas that we don't realise that we're the same because none of us have ever brought it to each other's attentions? Am I right?

You think that woman don't criticise other women? Oh buddy, we're experts! It's common knowledge how the language that women use and the images of perfection that we are constantly bombarded with do nothing but allow women to damage other women. Why do you think Hello magazine, diet pills and self help books are so popular? Because the majority of us are all still attempting to subconsciously beat back other bitches to reach our end goal... Though that's a whole other complicated issue.

Now I would go on and recommend you some really interesting reading on the difference in gender thought patterns, because I'm really interested in this topic and have quite a lot of knowledge on the subject. But realistically you don't strike me as someone who's ever made it past Dick and Jane...

"

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By *rettylittlegirlWoman  over a year ago

Cardiff


"He could always study with the OU. Level One Sociology addresses Hegemony, Idenity, Belonging, Signe and Signifiers and all sorts of interesting stuff. "

Might be a good place to start

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Hahaha well done _rettylittlegirl !!! And also I would like to add that maybe the thing to think about is what is provoking these traits in the women in your life, could it be that this is a general reaction to a guy that is by the sounds of it a bit if a tit!!!

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