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TL;DR Ass play warning.

  

By *att_Clay OP   Man 33 weeks ago

Bourne

So after a wonderful day of doing wholesome activities with a play partner we decided to indulge in some rope play.

It had been a long day for us both so we chose to freshen up separately in the shower before hand and being the gent I let her go first.

After maybe 90 minutes of play we collapsed on the sofa and had a little natter and a debrief of the evenings splendour.

As we called it a night there was a realisation that something was missing, someone had decided to surprise the other with a decorative anal adornment and it wasn’t me sporting the bling

The tone of the room went from a relaxed atmosphere to, where the hell is it and how the heck are we going to get it out.

One of us was obviously a lot calmer than the other, and having had an aunt who had worked in an emergency room in the past I quickly recalled a story of a poor lady who had sat on a pool table and had “accidentally” ingested a pool ball in the “back door”.

 

I quickly lubed up a hand and encouraged her to lay back and relax,,,,,, easier said than done I could only imagine. Slowly using a couple of fingers I gently started to unlock the front door, caressing the partition wall that separated the living room from the out house, getting in almost to the 3rd knuckle and feeling like a cross between an amateur gynaecologist, a midwife and a slenderman  I could feel something a little tougher than a turd and with a glimmer of hope I started to slowly massage it downwards to freedom, thinking this was almost a done deal she started to relax but then with a small yelp we both realised there was a kink in the pipe so to speak.

Not wanting to release the prized treasure from my tentative grip I kept my hand in place and with the other I gingerly started to mine a route for the offending article to be freed from the direction it had entered,  luckily by this point it was only 2” away from freedom and with a steady two handed motion I caressed it the towards the departure gate. To my shock as it started to crown I realised it was BREACH, this thing had done a cheeky 180 while on its little adventure, popping it out as far as the narrow shank, my play partner eagerly grabbed the end and withdrew it with a huge sigh of relief and darted off to the restroom to clean up and inspect for any damage.

 

Luckily apart from a tear to the eye and the potential shock and embarrassment of having a festive trip to the ER everything was good. Needless to say wed both had enough action for the evening so we decided a much needed hug and a there there was in order.

 

What have we learned from this?????,,,,,,, who knows,,,,,, will it happen again?????,,,,,,,, probably.

 

Be careful out there, even flared bases can be hoovered by a hungry hungry hippo.

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