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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Never too sure where my desire to dress came from but know it was not sexual. I started like many by borrowing family clothes, getting caught a couple of times.
There was no one I could talk to about it and at first did not deal with it well. It helped derail my university degree as I was trying to deal with it and other feelings. I have some vague memory of going to a brothel for some forced dressing, not a good memory.
I then discovered true crime mags and wanting to be the woman in bondage on the cover.
In my mid twenties I went to a dressing service and got made up for the first time, as a waitress. Looking in the mirror I felt at peace.
When I moved to the UK I tried to explore more. Like many I went through phases and got rid of everything and then bought again. I chatted on a TV website and tried to follow orders from a domme but could not fully go through as don't agree with involving others who did not know.
I did a professional photo shoot in London and could not get over the results. When I sent the pictures to friends they refused to believe it was me.
I remember buying a pvc outfit for my first kink event dressed. I went to a friend's for a make up lesson the day before and she explained that as I was going dressed, it did not have to be fetish so we swapped outfits.
At the event a good friend did not recognise me until I spoke. Someone told me I reminded them of their school headmistress, not exactly the vibe I was going for.
Over the next while the kink scene gave me more opportunities to dress. Each time someone new was going to meet Maria I was nervous as hell but once dressed the confidence came out.
I remember getting a make over at the bbb and then going for lunch in the Chinese quarter in broad daylight and no one batting an eye. I remember walking out of a hotel in new York dressed on the way to a kink club with 2 dommes.
I remember a domme arranging for me to give my first bj dressed as she knew I wanted to try but too scared to arrange. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I used to read a lot of erotica about sissies being used and humiliated. I knew there was a difference between sissies and tvs and I wanted to explore the sexual side of my sissy more.
On various sites I had many chats with men about what they wanted to do with me, but most of the chats led nowhere. Either the distance was too far, I didn't feel safe or they were married. Or they wanted things I did not want to do.
I envied many other tvs and sissies who were out there having fun and exploring and serving men.
I had a couple of meets off the now defunct CL and eventually tried here. Again at first there were lot of chats and little else. I eventually got a few meets and got to practice my o skills. I soon realised while it did not physically arouse me to give a man a bj it did something mentally. Many stories say its not about the sexual pleasure of the sissy but more that of the man they are trying to please. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Appreciate that as there is little sex this won't be of much interest to many here.
The exploring I want to do many did at younger age but family, religion, expectations and my own lack of knowledge and confidence did not allow me to do it then.
I lost a lot of confidence and put most clothes in the attic a few months ago maybe as a step eventually get rid of. I recently took a couple back down and took a couple of new photos so maybe not done with my sissy and TV sides just yet.
Though need to remember there is a huge difference between fantasy and reality. |
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