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By *undo OP Man
over a year ago
Hartlepool |
I was about 20 something, living in a static caravan on my own with my dog; I was smoking a lot of hash at the time while sitting at my computer desk living vicariously. I can't recall what I was doing before, but I do remember as I stood up, my body just said 'Nope', and I started convulsing, fully conscious but I had very limited ability to control my movement. I fell down, and as I did, I hit the hoover and it turned on; now my dog gets up and thinks it's some sort of game, gets all excited and starts humping my fucking leg! I'm wobbling, still quite violently but I'm fighting it; looking at him thinking "For fuck sake, what is going on?!" All I can hear is "Hoooooooooo!"; I'm shaking like a baby with a rattle, on Ritalin; and my leg is being violated by the only thing I thought was loyal to me. Spoiler, I didn't die; my dog apologised: but things were awkward every time I had to hoover.
Fundo
(It was low blood pressure) |
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