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I nearly dropped my chips

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

A number of years ago now, I was feeling hungry. So, I nipped out to the chippy and ordered fish n chips with bits (it was in Yorkshire, where "bits" are a thing). I wasn't too keen on eating them at the side of a busy dual carriageway, so I went in search of a parking place with a great view. A short while later, I found a secluded car park, parked facing the great view of the twinkling lights in the distance and got down to eating my fish n chips (and bits). After half of the fish and a handful of chips, my hunger was ebbing. I started to look around. I slowly began to realise that my secluded countryside car park had an alarming number of cars parked in it. There were Vauxhall Novas, Ford Mondeos, LandRover Discoverys (should that be Discoveries?), even an LDV campervan.

Suddenly, a woman stepped out of a Discovery, ran over to the campervan and immediately ran back to the Discovery. I know for a fact that she was a woman. Even though it was late at night. She was naked. Tits bouncing, bush showing (it was before shaving became a thing) and long hair flowing.

I nearly spilled the rest of my fish n chips (and bits).

Anyway, a few moments later, another silver Ford Mondeo LX pulled into the car park. It parked up and the driver got out. Dressed in satin / silk jimjams. He walked around to the passenger door. Next thing, he's leading his girlfriend around the car park. She is dressed in garter, stockings, blindfold and not much else. She is wearing a collar and he is leading her with a lead. Next, he's screwing her ass off over the bonnet of the Mondeo.

The silence of the night air is broken as a dozen or so car doors open, blokes walk across the car park and before you know it, mr silk jimjams wife is in the middle of a full on bukkake session.

Well, I thought to myself, "in for a penny, in for a pound".

I dropped the rest of my fish n chips on the floor of my car and ran across the car park.

Yes, her boobies were soft with pert nipples. Yes, I did cum. And so, yes, I have been dogging.

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By *allySlinkyWoman  over a year ago

Leeds

Do you regret not buying a pickled egg ?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Do you regret not buying a pickled egg ?"

Pickled egg!!!! They are the work of the devil

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By *ipplebarnyMan  over a year ago

milton keynes


"Do you regret not buying a pickled egg ?"
And deep fried mars bar for dessert

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By *allySlinkyWoman  over a year ago

Leeds

Have you ever had a battered sausage ?

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By *ipplebarnyMan  over a year ago

milton keynes


"Have you ever had a battered sausage ?"
not personally but but I do give one to a lucky lady dinner x

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By *ememberTheNameMan  over a year ago

barnsley

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

What??? No mushy peas?

Disgraceful

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"What??? No mushy peas?

Disgraceful "

Mushy peas?

Sorry, but they make the bits go soggy. And soggy bits are not nice.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Have you ever had a battered sausage ?"

Battered sausage is just wrong.

You do know the history of fish n chips?

When fish n chips were first invented, the batter served no purpose other than to cook the fish in. When eating, the batter was discarded uneaten.

I can see the sense in that as the batter holds an awful lot of fat, which is not healthy.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Do you regret not buying a pickled egg ?And deep fried mars bar for dessert "

I've had battered mars bar and can confirm that although it is not something I regularly eat, it does actually work quite well.

It works much better than battered sausage.

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By *allySlinkyWoman  over a year ago

Leeds

I think your erotic story needs a new title because you did drop your chips.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Thank goodness the lady did not have a chip on her shoulder

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By *ragsterMan  over a year ago

Blackburn

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Your “bits” are called “scraps” to bet on the west side! Hope you didn’t pay for them.

nova and mondeo, few years ago then

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By *ussD1Man  over a year ago

Gloucester

Sorry, but you could have held onto your chips and allowed someone else to wank you as you finished your supper. Food waste is such a sin

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Sorry, but you could have held onto your chips and allowed someone else to wank you as you finished your supper. Food waste is such a sin "

Well that's quite gross! I would point out that after my mutual wank, I was left with fingers which smelt distinctly of fish. Hope that helps.

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