FabSwingers.com > Forums > Scotland > Just wondering
Just wondering
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hey does anyone think it's wrong for me to be on here when i am married and gave birth not that long ago don't get me wrong I have a great sex life but since giving birth I want something for me is that a good thing or am I being selfish |
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By *hav02Man
over a year ago
Glasgow/London |
Probably need to consider what's wrong in your marriage that makes you come on this website and make you doubt yourself. Your doubt is your internal guilt and seeking external validation is irrelevant.
Consider, how would you feel if you found out if your husband was here meeting other women? |
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"Hey does anyone think it's wrong for me to be on here when i am married and gave birth not that long ago don't get me wrong I have a great sex life but since giving birth I want something for me is that a good thing or am I being selfish"
depends on whether its known by your partner
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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While I am all for people seeking more to make them happy, I'm also frustrated by the double standards. If a man had posted this..
"is it wrong I'm here when my wife gave birth not long ago"
The responses of don't be a dick would have been in every comment...
As someone who played away while married with children, I say we all do what we need to do but be careful. I've been on my own almost 12 years now and that's no picnic either |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No one else can decide for you if it is right or wrong for you to be on here, only you. You do need to be aware of the possible implications, even if nothing ever happens. Trust its a precious thing and needs to be treated with care so give your actions careful thought. |
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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago
Paisley |
I agree with the above comments. Go for a social meet and see how you feel. It’s great to explore new things and Fab is great but some people can’t cope with the guilt.
Chat with people, meet in a public place and don’t do anything your not comfortable with. There’s no obligation to do anything.
I do find Fab a great way to learn about things. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I agree with the above comments. Go for a social meet and see how you feel. It’s great to explore new things and Fab is great but some people can’t cope with the guilt.
Chat with people, meet in a public place and don’t do anything your not comfortable with. There’s no obligation to do anything.
I do find Fab a great way to learn about things. "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"While I am all for people seeking more to make them happy, I'm also frustrated by the double standards. If a man had posted this..
"is it wrong I'm here when my wife gave birth not long ago"
The responses of don't be a dick would have been in every comment...
As someone who played away while married with children, I say we all do what we need to do but be careful. I've been on my own almost 12 years now and that's no picnic either "
You took the words right out my mouth, the double standards on the forums are amazing. Had a guy posted this he would be slaughtered. Back to you OP. The baby steps advice is nonsense in my opinion, if your meeting someone for a coffee to see how you feel about cheating then that coffee is cheating just as much as you continue on to having sex or not. My guess is you have already made your mind up your doing it and now seek approval. Do what you want OP, and I mean that in a nice way. I'm sure you have weighed up the pros and cons of it and as long as your willing to accept the possible outcome if you get caught then that's OK. Your life is unique to you, your circumstances are unique to you, hope you have all the fun you seek and it makes your marriage stronger, it can happen trust me. Just be carefull who you meet and how much you tell others about your circumstances. Nothing more dangerous than having someone threaten to out you because you stopped meeting them. Good luck OP.  |
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By *uietbloke67Man
over a year ago
outside your bedroom window ;-) |
"Stand back the morally justified are coming through
She has tits, so that makes it okay "
Excuse me, I think you'll find I have quite a nice set peaked with a provocative nipple mysell. Lol  |
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"Hey does anyone think it's wrong for me to be on here when i am married and gave birth not that long ago don't get me wrong I have a great sex life but since giving birth I want something for me is that a good thing or am I being selfish"
Only you can decide this but bear in mind the consequences if your husband finds out.
If you’ve not long given birth your hormones are probably all over the place so you may not be thinking rationally.
Why not try the group socials first and see how you feel as then it’s not a one to one and you can see how you get on there
Whatever you decide I hope it works out for you |
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Only my opinion but cheating is cheating whether it’s a man or woman doing it. I don’t know if you will be leaving your baby with your husband if you ever go on meets but to me that just doesn’t sit right and I would say the same if a man was out cheating while his wife was at home looking after his children. I hope you’re prepared to pick up the pieces for your daughter if he ever finds out |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Only my opinion but cheating is cheating whether it’s a man or woman doing it. I don’t know if you will be leaving your baby with your husband if you ever go on meets but to me that just doesn’t sit right and I would say the same if a man was out cheating while his wife was at home looking after his children. I hope you’re prepared to pick up the pieces for your daughter if he ever finds out "
And I hope she's prepared for a long and happy marriage with a loving husband and daughter if he never finds out. |
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"Only my opinion but cheating is cheating whether it’s a man or woman doing it. I don’t know if you will be leaving your baby with your husband if you ever go on meets but to me that just doesn’t sit right and I would say the same if a man was out cheating while his wife was at home looking after his children. I hope you’re prepared to pick up the pieces for your daughter if he ever finds out
And I hope she's prepared for a long and happy marriage with a loving husband and daughter if he never finds out. "
Again just my opinion but that situation would not equal a happy marriage for me. I couldn’t lie to someone I love and betray their trust like that but hey as I said that’s just me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hey does anyone think it's wrong for me to be on here when i am married and gave birth not that long ago don't get me wrong I have a great sex life but since giving birth I want something for me is that a good thing or am I being selfish"
I say theres nothing wrong with looking after no1. There is quite a lot of married/attached females on the site and I say each to their own, if your happy then do it x |
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"Hey does anyone think it's wrong for me to be on here when i am married and gave birth not that long ago don't get me wrong I have a great sex life but since giving birth I want something for me is that a good thing or am I being selfish
I say theres nothing wrong with looking after no1. There is quite a lot of married/attached females on the site and I say each to their own, if your happy then do it x"
I would say your priorities should change when you become a parent as it’s not all about you anymore and you become or should become less selfish but that’s just my opinion people will do what they want |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Totally agree with the comments regarding a man posting this vs a womam posting. The double standards on here are astonishing sometimes.
OP...never complain, never explain. You'll be well aware of what's at risk should your hubby find out but that's entirely your call.
As a young "yummy mummy" prepare for a deluge of sausage pics. |
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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago
Shangri-la |
Having a baby is a huge thing, it's not unusual to feel like you don't quite know who you are any more. I'm not sure being on here is the answer though & the damage that it could cause to your relationship/family shouldn't be taken lightly. I'd be focusing on reestablishing and strengthening my relationship with my partner rather than joining a swingers site (unless of course he knows that you are on here and is OK with that). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Having a baby is a huge thing, it's not unusual to feel like you don't quite know who you are any more. I'm not sure being on here is the answer though & the damage that it could cause to your relationship/family shouldn't be taken lightly. I'd be focusing on reestablishing and strengthening my relationship with my partner rather than joining a swingers site (unless of course he knows that you are on here and is OK with that). "
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By *mmixtapeCouple
over a year ago
middle earth |
It is good to note that normally on a guys post it tends to be women who comment, on this the positive comments were from men.. maybe who are sexually attracted to her?
If you are on this website behind your partner's back then you really need to have a chat with a partner about what you're not getting from your current relationship. Going behind your most loved ones back is the worst thing you can do. If you're here with their consent and you're just worried because you're a new mum then you're fine |
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"It is good to note that normally on a guys post it tends to be women who comment, on this the positive comments were from men.. maybe who are sexually attracted to her?
If you are on this website behind your partner's back then you really need to have a chat with a partner about what you're not getting from your current relationship. Going behind your most loved ones back is the worst thing you can do. If you're here with their consent and you're just worried because you're a new mum then you're fine"
THIS. If your in a relationship then you must be honest and trustworthy with them or there is no relationship. |
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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago
somewhere |
Men are on to a hiding on this...if we cheat or post like the op we get hammered...if we give the op some advise that we believe to be of help then we get accused of trying to get the ride
Yes she's a very attractive young woman but i would have given the same advice no matter the age or what her body looked like.
If you what to try sex outside your relationship then make sure your safe,the sex is safe and you bloody enjoy it because you might only do it the once to get it out of your system.
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By *bostCouple
over a year ago
glasgow |
I wonder if part of this is, as mentioned earlier, that your hormones are all over the place. We’ve been popping on and off here for about a year and a half and have noticed a fair few ‘new mums’ joining and then leaving again. Wonder if it is because they feel guilt, are put off by the deluge of cock pics they receive or if they realise that talking to their partner is the best course of action.
Maybe your partner would want to join with you. |
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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago
somewhere |
"I wonder if part of this is, as mentioned earlier, that your hormones are all over the place. We’ve been popping on and off here for about a year and a half and have noticed a fair few ‘new mums’ joining and then leaving again. Wonder if it is because they feel guilt, are put off by the deluge of cock pics they receive or if they realise that talking to their partner is the best course of action.
Maybe your partner would want to join with you. "
This |
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"Would loved to have seen the comments if a guy had posted this. 
This. Guys all validating her hoping to get their dicks wet "
no validation from me my views of this on both genders is the same the person you made a commitment to should be aware of what's going on simples |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hey does anyone think it's wrong for me to be on here when i am married and gave birth not that long ago don't get me wrong I have a great sex life but since giving birth I want something for me is that a good thing or am I being selfish"
you only get one life so why not if you want to x
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If your other half isn't aware then we would say its wrong. Might be worth sitting down with him and letting him know how you feel.
You never know he might be up for joining you on here."
When kat spoke to me about it I was well up for it so I'm sure your fella would be  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Commumication is never a bad thing in a relationship but those saying she should talk to her hubby...he may be up for it....She's said they have a satisfying sex life and that she wants something for herself. Sounds to me like the OP wants this to be a purely solo venture. |
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"Commumication is never a bad thing in a relationship but those saying she should talk to her hubby...he may be up for it....She's said they have a satisfying sex life and that she wants something for herself. Sounds to me like the OP wants this to be a purely solo venture."
Solo venture or not she should at least be upfront with her partner and tell him she’s here and looking surely? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can offer a different take on the topic.
As a very young kid I caught and herd my Mother cheating on my dad on numerous occasions to which is played on my mind all my life!! And as I became a young adult I grew to loose all respect for her and even hate her and one point.
My father passed when I was 23 and to this day it pains me!!
So dont be selfish, dont cheat and think about that wee girl and what it would do to her!?
Go home, talk and put the effort into being a family and take pride in doing what you would no doubt want hubby to do if tables were turned!?
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I think it's wrong.
But it's not up to me, you don't need to justify yourself to the people on this site. This is between you, your young family and whoever takes you up on wanting to cheat.
If you are a brand new mum, maybe stop to think for a moment your hormones might have temporarily turned you into a total nutcase (or even more of a nutcase if you were already one before), so don't rush to get your fill x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Commumication is never a bad thing in a relationship but those saying she should talk to her hubby...he may be up for it....She's said they have a satisfying sex life and that she wants something for herself. Sounds to me like the OP wants this to be a purely solo venture.
Solo venture or not she should at least be upfront with her partner and tell him she’s here and looking surely? "
In an ideal world yes, but she said she's wanting something for herself.
I'm not saying she should or shouldn't tell him. Just highlighting that it looks like she's on here purely for her own satisfaction. |
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By *andsCouple
over a year ago
Edin |
A guy did post similar yesterday on his post I said it was wrong and on this post I will say it is wrong ... but why does the opinions of strangers on a sex site matter to you, you do what you want to regardless! |
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"Commumication is never a bad thing in a relationship but those saying she should talk to her hubby...he may be up for it....She's said they have a satisfying sex life and that she wants something for herself. Sounds to me like the OP wants this to be a purely solo venture.
Solo venture or not she should at least be upfront with her partner and tell him she’s here and looking surely?
In an ideal world yes, but she said she's wanting something for herself.
I'm not saying she should or shouldn't tell him. Just highlighting that it looks like she's on here purely for her own satisfaction."
Yeah and I’m not saying her partner should join in, but she’s in a relationship so she should let her partner know she is here and looking to play alone! |
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"A guy did post similar yesterday on his post I said it was wrong and on this post I will say it is wrong ... but why does the opinions of strangers on a sex site matter to you, you do what you want to regardless! "
I think she’s looking for people to validate the fact that she’s looking to cheat on her husband which I’m sure she will get but also she will have to be prepared for others telling her that in their opinion what she’s doing is wrong and yes selfish |
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I dont understand these posts whether posted by a male or female .
You have already taken the 1st steps towards cheating so why you need other peoples thoughts on it I do not know!
As Ive said before its no ones business other than you & the people you meet .
if you get caught its you who suffer the consiquences no one else . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don’t see the point in posts like this from either male or female, and if I’m honest I’d say the whole post/profile is wrong and I’m willing to call it either a fake or an attention seeker. If you’re married say you are so anyone contacting you can make a decision on wether they will meet you or not but the rest about your kid, line of work and supposed sex Life makes me think think there’s something not right. |
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"I don’t see the point in posts like this from either male or female, and if I’m honest I’d say the whole post/profile is wrong and I’m willing to call it either a fake or an attention seeker. If you’re married say you are so anyone contacting you can make a decision on wether they will meet you or not but the rest about your kid, line of work and supposed sex Life makes me think think there’s something not right. "
This ^^^
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don’t see the point in posts like this from either male or female, and if I’m honest I’d say the whole post/profile is wrong and I’m willing to call it either a fake or an attention seeker. If you’re married say you are so anyone contacting you can make a decision on wether they will meet you or not but the rest about your kid, line of work and supposed sex Life makes me think think there’s something not right. "
I'd reconsider using the word "broody" on a sex site profile. Nothing puts the boys off the milkshake faster than giggly hints of breeding.
Although I'm sure some miscreant will be along to prove me wrong..  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don’t see the point in posts like this from either male or female, and if I’m honest I’d say the whole post/profile is wrong and I’m willing to call it either a fake or an attention seeker. If you’re married say you are so anyone contacting you can make a decision on wether they will meet you or not but the rest about your kid, line of work and supposed sex Life makes me think think there’s something not right. "
Least you know you might get your barnet trimmed if nothing else  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don’t see the point in posts like this from either male or female, and if I’m honest I’d say the whole post/profile is wrong and I’m willing to call it either a fake or an attention seeker. If you’re married say you are so anyone contacting you can make a decision on wether they will meet you or not but the rest about your kid, line of work and supposed sex Life makes me think think there’s something not right.
Least you know you might get your barnet trimmed if nothing else "
lol yeah true |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"While I am all for people seeking more to make them happy, I'm also frustrated by the double standards. If a man had posted this..
"is it wrong I'm here when my wife gave birth not long ago"
The responses of don't be a dick would have been in every comment...
As someone who played away while married with children, I say we all do what we need to do but be careful. I've been on my own almost 12 years now and that's no picnic either "
Pretty much. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Op said she has not long had a baby, to me this says her hormones are still all over the place and not a good time to be making decisions until at least 6 months post.
Its obvious she will be wanting more, shes hit an emotional overload of emotions so wants to explore things whilst she is feeling this way but this is not the right time. Just my opinion. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it's wrong.
But it's not up to me, you don't need to justify yourself to the people on this site. This is between you, your young family and whoever takes you up on wanting to cheat.
If you are a brand new mum, maybe stop to think for a moment your hormones might have temporarily turned you into a total nutcase (or even more of a nutcase if you were already one before), so don't rush to get your fill x"
Totally agree hormones after baby for sure. She will be having an episode of overwhelming explosion of hormones.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was so overwhelmed with love with my babies and hubby so wouldnt even cross my mind at that special time to be with anyone else other than my family.
Very tricky one, you either tell your husband or you could possibly find yourself without both. Harsh yes but when a husband and wife have a baby that bond should seal the family element and from that time on you share all.
Call me old fashioned but if you find you cant speak about how you are feeling sexually to your husband (new daddy as well ), you are already on the wrong path.
Selfish should not be on your mind at this point in time as all your time and attention should be with baby and family.
Defo wait until those hormones have calmed down bet youll find you'll feel differently. There is plenty time to explore things and plenty time to find the courage to be open with your husband x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Op said she has not long had a baby, to me this says her hormones are still all over the place and not a good time to be making decisions until at least 6 months post.
Its obvious she will be wanting more, shes hit an emotional overload of emotions so wants to explore things whilst she is feeling this way but this is not the right time. Just my opinion. X"
This |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Who are we to judge other folks, whilst I try my best not to judge if I knew you and you were my friend I'd be saying you're fucking mental and playing with fire. Are you really that unhappy and needing a boost so much you are willing to pote tially destroy your new family for a bit of fun, some texts and flattery,
id also be questioning what sort of friend I was that you have found yourself needing to act out when you should be in one of your happiest and most content times in your life
Perhaps you're really not happy at all and want to get caught because you want him to leave you rather than be the one doing the walki g away
Although it could very well be that you're a serial shagger who's been here before and wants their cake and eat it
At the end of the day you are the one who has to wake up and look at yourself every day in the mirror and be happy with what you see x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have none of you done a reverse image search on this profile? "
Yes one of the pictures has been online for about 4 or 5 years on a different site, it’s definitely a bloke behind this profile |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have none of you done a reverse image search on this profile?
Yes one of the pictures has been online for about 4 or 5 years on a different site, it’s definitely a bloke behind this profile "
This actually made me chuckle!
Thinking of some big hairy arsed trucker who made it to the no1 spot on hot pics! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What amuses me is that no one seems to have noticed that the OP has not returned to comment once. Just laid a forum bomb & buggered off. "
She's busy being a mummy and running her hair salon too mind. Not easy for us working mothers |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"......and just like that......he was gone.... 
Was just about to say the same I give it a week before another profile appears "
But we'll be wise to him next time...we won't be fooled by those big full titties and sob story....Mibbes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I agree with sinderella, If this was a man posting this,He would be getting from all angles. Do what you have to do but be careful x"
D'oh
In other news, Brexit went ahead. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What amuses me is that no one seems to have noticed that the OP has not returned to comment once. Just laid a forum bomb & buggered off. "
A forum bomb!!! I like that expression |
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By *bostCouple
over a year ago
glasgow |
Said this earlier, but the horny recent Mummy thing seems to come up every so often. It takes all sorts, but it does mean that there is at least one guy out there using fab that gets turned on by talk about a new baby, feeding her etc. Very bizarre. Look forward to the next one  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Said this earlier, but the horny recent Mummy thing seems to come up every so often. It takes all sorts, but it does mean that there is at least one guy out there using fab that gets turned on by talk about a new baby, feeding her etc. Very bizarre. Look forward to the next one "
When I was breast feeding last thing I felt was sexy stood in the loos at a club squeezing the life out my tits trying to express milk because they had doubled in size and I was in agony and having leaky wet patches on my clothes lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Said this earlier, but the horny recent Mummy thing seems to come up every so often. It takes all sorts, but it does mean that there is at least one guy out there using fab that gets turned on by talk about a new baby, feeding her etc. Very bizarre. Look forward to the next one
When I was breast feeding last thing I felt was sexy stood in the loos at a club squeezing the life out my tits trying to express milk because they had doubled in size and I was in agony and having leaky wet patches on my clothes lol "
Same here, never mind the wet patches but nothing worse that rock hard boobs filling up and feeling like they are ready to explode lol |
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