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Straight guys messaging bi guys
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Probably means he’s curious 
I understand that but he should put bi curious instead of straight lol"
Then he'd most likelt drastically reduce his chances of meeting women. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Probably means he’s curious
I understand that but he should put bi curious instead of straight lol"
I have and says he curious so i advised him to put on his profile |
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"Probably means he’s curious
I understand that but he should put bi curious instead of straight lol"
perhaps hes not played with a guy before so waiting to see if its for him before changing his sexual status  |
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Case study:
A well verified, gorgeous FF couple - who's profile stipulates they are gay, and only looking for unicorns - messages you and asks if you fancy a meet at their place (it's 5 minutes away and your partner is away on a business trip) as they fancy trying the boabie. Do you:
A) Rip the front door off it's hinges and arrive at their place before your semi has subsided.
Or
B) Ask them to change their sexuality label to bicurious. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Case study:
A well verified, gorgeous FF couple - who's profile stipulates they are gay, and only looking for unicorns - messages you and asks if you fancy a meet at their place (it's 5 minutes away and your partner is away on a business trip) as they fancy trying the boabie. Do you:
A) Rip the front door off it's hinges and arrive at their place before your semi has subsided.
Or
B) Ask them to change their sexuality label to bicurious. "
This |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Case study:
A well verified, gorgeous FF couple - who's profile stipulates they are gay, and only looking for unicorns - messages you and asks if you fancy a meet at their place (it's 5 minutes away and your partner is away on a business trip) as they fancy trying the boabie. Do you:
A) Rip the front door off it's hinges and arrive at their place before your semi has subsided.
Or
B) Ask them to change their sexuality label to bicurious. "
A!!!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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the sexuality police are out in force again! who cares what peoples sexuality is?? People are allowed to experiment without formally identifying as something. |
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"Case study:
A well verified, gorgeous FF couple - who's profile stipulates they are gay, and only looking for unicorns - messages you and asks if you fancy a meet at their place (it's 5 minutes away and your partner is away on a business trip) as they fancy trying the boabie. Do you:
A) Rip the front door off it's hinges and arrive at their place before your semi has subsided.
Or
B) Ask them to change their sexuality label to bicurious.
A!!!! "
I'm all for inclusivity, but the girls are after the boabie. Before you ask - no, strap-on boabies don't count. |
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"the sexuality police are out in force again! who cares what peoples sexuality is?? People are allowed to experiment without formally identifying as something."
Fair enough. I can appreciate that.
However we prefer to understand a little about a persons sexuality and fantasies to ensure there is some compatiblity.
Does our wish for that count for less than a persons interest in experimentation. Is lying justified to get a fuck? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are straight swinging couples intimidated by bi men? Is the guy in the couple scared he might get a surprise gobble?  "
It's a fear of catching the ghey |
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By *lascumMan
over a year ago
Glasgow |
"Are straight swinging couples intimidated by bi men? Is the guy in the couple scared he might get a surprise gobble?
It's a fear of catching the ghey "
But you can’t catch the ghey unless you push back .... so they tell me  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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its ok to want someone experienced/comfortable with their sexuality but it doesn't mean everyone has to be! no one has the right to tell you your sexuality. The people who are telling people to get in their box are no better than the people that 5-10 years ago said being gay was not ok. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The people who are telling people to get in their box are no better than the people that 5-10 years ago said being gay was not ok. "
I don't think that's what's happening. They're saying *don't come in my box*.
Messy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"no they're not, the person who posted is 'bi-curious' they are annoyed the person is not using the right label "
You're completely right, I missed that post. Fuck labels. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"no they're not, the person who posted is 'bi-curious' they are annoyed the person is not using the right label
You're completely right, I missed that post. Fuck labels. "
even worse he is married - did he tell his wife he was bi curious |
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"Just had a guy message wanting to meet his profile says mainly straight wtf does that mean haha"
It probably means they are not straight.
I’m all for self identifying one’s sexuality (or not, to be fair), but (purely from my experience and past conversations) most of the “fab straight” guys I’ve spoken to aren’t breaking themselves free of the chains of labelling... it’s more that they know there is a big pile of people who “don’t do bi guys” as a “personal preference”.
It smacks of biphobia and bi erasure and is not particularly cool.
I tend (try...) not to blame the guys - i grew up under section 28, and with articles by Piers Morgan on page 2 of the Sun ranting about “poofters” on Eastenders. It’s hardly surprising that men who might at some point consider being attracted to other men tend not to want to let on.
Oh, that and the violent attacks that are often a consequence of those societal moral panics.
Not everyone in my life knows that I’m not straight.
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"its no ones fucking business your sexuality - to the point that people ask me and I say - none of your business."
So why (assuming non monogamy has been agreed and therefore his presence here is all well and good) is his sexuality any concern of his wife, per your post above? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Married bi guy not getting it at home" I could be wrong but it implies he doesn't have permission to be here. I agree that sexuality isn't relevant however I'm highlighting the hypocrisy of him thinking it is. |
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""Married bi guy not getting it at home" I could be wrong but it implies he doesn't have permission to be here. I agree that sexuality isn't relevant however I'm highlighting the hypocrisy of him thinking it is. "
It absolutely implies that he doesn’t, but there’s no more hypocrisy in his being here than there is in the suggestion that his wife should be outraged about his sexuality. |
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"im not sure why youre trying to contradict me when you agree that your sexuality is no-ones business but your own. "
You’re right (I think I replied again while you were typing this). Just being argumentative. Should know better, etc.
Soz. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just had a guy message wanting to meet his profile says mainly straight wtf does that mean haha
It probably means they are not straight.
I’m all for self identifying one’s sexuality (or not, to be fair), but (purely from my experience and past conversations) most of the “fab straight” guys I’ve spoken to aren’t breaking themselves free of the chains of labelling... it’s more that they know there is a big pile of people who “don’t do bi guys” as a “personal preference”.
It smacks of biphobia and bi erasure and is not particularly cool.
I tend (try...) not to blame the guys - i grew up under section 28, and with articles by Piers Morgan on page 2 of the Sun ranting about “poofters” on Eastenders. It’s hardly surprising that men who might at some point consider being attracted to other men tend not to want to let on.
Oh, that and the violent attacks that are often a consequence of those societal moral panics.
Not everyone in my life knows that I’m not straight.
"
I've cut dry January short by 24hrs so apoligies and please indulge me... 
Why is "not doing bi guys as a personal preference" bi phobic? I appreciate that gay, bi and trans folk put up with all sorts of shit in real life but am also genuinely concerned that the term "phobic" is thrown around like confetti at a wedding whenever anyone expresses a preference. Wee bit like the term bully when a different opinion is voiced on here...
We can find any number of physical characteristics or personality traits unattractive in someone who we've previously initially found attractive...or at least I can. Why is it different then if we find someone less attractive or unattractive when we discover what they're into sexually or their sexuality? Every single one of us has preferences and judge people on here, whether it's based on their sexuality, body type or the shite they post on the forum (holds hand up). For some it possibly has some nefarious undertone but for most people I think it's just a preference..nothing more. |
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"Just had a guy message wanting to meet his profile says mainly straight wtf does that mean haha
It probably means they are not straight.
I’m all for self identifying one’s sexuality (or not, to be fair), but (purely from my experience and past conversations) most of the “fab straight” guys I’ve spoken to aren’t breaking themselves free of the chains of labelling... it’s more that they know there is a big pile of people who “don’t do bi guys” as a “personal preference”.
It smacks of biphobia and bi erasure and is not particularly cool.
I tend (try...) not to blame the guys - i grew up under section 28, and with articles by Piers Morgan on page 2 of the Sun ranting about “poofters” on Eastenders. It’s hardly surprising that men who might at some point consider being attracted to other men tend not to want to let on.
Oh, that and the violent attacks that are often a consequence of those societal moral panics.
Not everyone in my life knows that I’m not straight.
I've cut dry January short by 24hrs so apoligies and please indulge me...
Why is "not doing bi guys as a personal preference" bi phobic? I appreciate that gay, bi and trans folk put up with all sorts of shit in real life but am also genuinely concerned that the term "phobic" is thrown around like confetti at a wedding whenever anyone expresses a preference. Wee bit like the term bully when a different opinion is voiced on here...
We can find any number of physical characteristics or personality traits unattractive in someone who we've previously initially found attractive...or at least I can. Why is it different then if we find someone less attractive or unattractive when we discover what they're into sexually or their sexuality? Every single one of us has preferences and judge people on here, whether it's based on their sexuality, body type or the shite they post on the forum (holds hand up). For some it possibly has some nefarious undertone but for most people I think it's just a preference..nothing more."
From long experience we have recognised that choosing not to meet bi guys tvs or gay is described as homophobic on this site.
They accept in principle that we are allowed prefences but if that preference excludes them the only explanation is because we are "phobic". |
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The “phobic” term is problematic due to its now dual meaning - and peoples insistence that it can only mean “fear”.
It is also used to describe a hatred, antipathy, or aversion based on a fear or ignorance.
Peoples aversion to bi males tends to be, when probed, a result of one of the following:
- people think/feel that bi guys are a risky proposition, they sleep with men, that’s an unnatural thing and they are more likely to expose you to disease.
- they are greedy/promiscuous/secretly gay and therefore an unreliable bet.
- (for couples) he will be unable to turn off his obvious attraction to the other male and will insist on forcing himself upon him.
There is another reason (and the only one where I have some sympathy) that I’ve heard which is where the aversion is based on a prior traumatic experience. Whilst still arguably “irrational”, there are many many layers reasons and triggers which mean it is not one I would ever take any great issue with. It’s probably safer for everyone (physically and emotionally) if the people affected in this way listen to their aversion and do actively avoid triggering situations.
The others, though, unfortunately aren’t niche or even particularly extreme views - even the Scottish blood transfusion service is guilty of basing a policy on an out-dated view of the first one!
As an aside, you probably know, work with, live near, are related to, far more bisexual (or pansexual, or questioning...) males than you think you do. Whilst being criticised for holding a view is never nice, turn it round slightly and think about why these people don’t feel they can be open to you and others about their true identities.
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"The “phobic” term is problematic due to its now dual meaning - and peoples insistence that it can only mean “fear”.
It is also used to describe a hatred, antipathy, or aversion based on a fear or ignorance.
Peoples aversion to bi males tends to be, when probed, a result of one of the following:
- people think/feel that bi guys are a risky proposition, they sleep with men, that’s an unnatural thing and they are more likely to expose you to disease.
- they are greedy/promiscuous/secretly gay and therefore an unreliable bet.
- (for couples) he will be unable to turn off his obvious attraction to the other male and will insist on forcing himself upon him.
There is another reason (and the only one where I have some sympathy) that I’ve heard which is where the aversion is based on a prior traumatic experience. Whilst still arguably “irrational”, there are many many layers reasons and triggers which mean it is not one I would ever take any great issue with. It’s probably safer for everyone (physically and emotionally) if the people affected in this way listen to their aversion and do actively avoid triggering situations.
The others, though, unfortunately aren’t niche or even particularly extreme views - even the Scottish blood transfusion service is guilty of basing a policy on an out-dated view of the first one!
As an aside, you probably know, work with, live near, are related to, far more bisexual (or pansexual, or questioning...) males than you think you do. Whilst being criticised for holding a view is never nice, turn it round slightly and think about why these people don’t feel they can be open to you and others about their true identities.
"
hjma
Big sigh here.
Could it actually be much simpler?
We are on fab to fulfil fantasies and bi guys getting it on together simply dont do anything for us. Either of us.
Since there are almost unlimited numbers of straight guys on fab who are more on our wavelength why would we feel the need to invite bi guys to join us?
We feel no antipathy towards bi guys or their activities. Indifference describes it better.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It is frustrating - I have made a couple of good bloke contacts that I would have missed out on if I'd changed my filters. Nothing sexual, just good banter and people I'd enjoy being social with if circumstances permitted.
I feel I'm missing out on that kind of opportunity now that I've changed my filters to stem the "fancy a local gobble" tide. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not everyone likes to label them selfe... I've got a Male verification and ppl probably jump to a conclusion but if they actually took the time to read it .
Too many options on this site , we are all here for our own reasons. |
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