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Worst chat up lines

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By *appypleasures OP Man over a year ago

nr edinburgh

Hey, my name’s Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?

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By *ornyfuckers66Couple over a year ago

fife

Alexa am horny

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By *anny77Man over a year ago

glasgow

Did it hurt when you... grabbed your coat you’ve pulled? Wait, sorry, what?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Is your name Jacobs? Coz you're a cracker.

That got my mate on radio 1!

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By *r Costa xxMan over a year ago

stirling

Does your friend know you’re both coming home with me tonight

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Your gorgeous can u pump you the night

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

Guy in pub if you can guess whats in hand you can keep it .

Me if it fits in one hand you can fecking keep it lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Are you petrol? Cos I can see me pumping you in my motor

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By *r Costa xxMan over a year ago

stirling

Do you like the song "Jingle Bells"?

Because you look like you go all the way!

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By *r Costa xxMan over a year ago

stirling

If your left leg is Christmas and your right leg is New year, can I come visit you between the holidays?

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By *inasparklesWoman over a year ago

Glasgow

Can I treat you like my wee toe and bang you in every room in the house

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The best/worst one that I have seen actually work is.

“You’ll do”

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Fancy a wee game of windows?

U be the window and I'll hang out you..

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By *ane DTV/TS over a year ago

Glasgow

"You get me hard"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I only fuck special people

Yeah right, lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I only fuck special people

Yeah right, lol"

Haha, I like that one. Need to remember it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Get your coat, you have pulled! X

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Anyone want to peg me?

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By *Carver-Man over a year ago

Glasgow

"Girl, was your father a thief? Because your enlarged occipital lobe indicates a predisposition towards criminality. Hang on a second, I'll go get my calipers"

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By *egs11ABCWoman over a year ago

Aberdeen

"Alexa am horny"

Alexa jokes are definitely the worst when ur name is mega close to Alexa. I'm a taxi driver and now tell customers my name is driver when they ask cos im sick of the Alexa jokes

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By *egs11ABCWoman over a year ago

Aberdeen

"Guy in pub if you can guess whats in hand you can keep it .

Me if it fits in one hand you can fecking keep it lol

"

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By *arlosF2019Man over a year ago

glasgow

Dyu fancy doing breakfast ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Did you get your underwear on sale? As it’s 100% off at mine. ( some belter actually sent me that one yesterday) ???????

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By *sgrantedMan over a year ago

dundee

“I don’t sweat after an overdose of adrenaline from being shot at in The Falklands”

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By *elboy321Man over a year ago

Paisley

Nice legs, what time do they open ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Used to work in a pub many moons ago, heard one of the young regulars say to a girl one night

“Are you a spanner?”

“Because you make my nuts tighten”

Needless to say the young lass nearly spat her white wine spritzer all over him laughing!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

""Girl, was your father a thief? Because your enlarged occipital lobe indicates a predisposition towards criminality. Hang on a second, I'll go get my calipers""

That would totally work on me

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