FabSwingers.com > Forums > Scotland > How to

How to

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

So any tips or tricks in how to convince the wife for mff? ;/. As its prob a fantasy of most men but shes so vanillia im not sure where to even start a convo like that :/

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

"So any tips or tricks in how to convince the wife for mff? ;/. As its prob a fantasy of most men but shes so vanillia im not sure where to even start a convo like that :/ "
1st off delete this account then speak to your wife in a non pushy way .

If she agrees then set up a couple profile .

There is obviously a reason you are here now on your own so id sort that out first

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So any tips or tricks in how to convince the wife for mff? ;/. As its prob a fantasy of most men but shes so vanillia im not sure where to even start a convo like that :/ "

You can't. Keep your fantasies for when you're having a wank

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *eliciouslySalaciousCouple over a year ago

Glasgow

I don't think you can (or should). She's aware it exists, if it's something she wanted she'd have made it happen by now. Sorry that sucks, and I could well be wrong. Here's hoping I am.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If shes saying no.

Keep it for your wank bank.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *luebell888Woman over a year ago

Glasgowish

How would you feel if she asked you if she could have another male in your bed as its a fantasy of hers to have 2men?.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"If shes saying no.

Keep it for your wank bank."

Shes not said no. Iv never spoke about it x i dont know how to bring convo up

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"How would you feel if she asked you if she could have another male in your bed as its a fantasy of hers to have 2men?."

I would t mind. Id love 3sum fun either wY mfm or fmf

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *nferno sausageMan over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

Make it a gradual process. Start off by opening up a line of communication on your sex life. Once both of you are more comfortable talking about it, discuss ways both of you can improve your love life. Get pished and stick a raunchy movie on. If she is receptive to it, suggest some soft female-friendly porn. Sneak in a some talk of fantasies. Be sure to keep them vanilla at first. Gauge her reactions. Drink lots of alcohol. Talk. Talk. Talk.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Make it a gradual process. Start off by opening up a line of communication on your sex life. Once both of you are more comfortable talking about it, discuss ways both of you can improve your love life. Get pished and stick a raunchy movie on. If she is receptive to it, suggest some soft female-friendly porn. Sneak in a some talk of fantasies. Be sure to keep them vanilla at first. Gauge her reactions. Drink lots of alcohol. Talk. Talk. Talk. "

This

And, if after all that, it's still a no go, don't hassle her about it.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No. This reeks of sneaky manipulation

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *imbobaMan over a year ago

Glasgow

No. This reeks of sneaky manipulation "

It does a bit. Can’t be pushy.

If this is just to relax the mood then fine. But at the root of this is a communication barrier between you and your wife that needs relaxed in the first place.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Marks & Spencers vouchers mate..trust me.

You'll be having reams of MFFFFFFF s by January.

However, sometimes a fantasy should remain a fantasy.

Therefore, as stated above store it in your brain under "wanking Fodder".

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No. This reeks of sneaky manipulation "

The first line talks about opening up and communicating. How is that sneaky?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No. This reeks of sneaky manipulation

The first line talks about opening up and communicating. How is that sneaky?"

Twice he's mentioned getting rat arsed. Most folk are less inhibited like this

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No. This reeks of sneaky manipulation

The first line talks about opening up and communicating. How is that sneaky?

Twice he's mentioned getting rat arsed. Most folk are less inhibited like this "

Twice, before mentioning alcohol, he's mentioned communication and discussion.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No. This reeks of sneaky manipulation

The first line talks about opening up and communicating. How is that sneaky?

Twice he's mentioned getting rat arsed. Most folk are less inhibited like this

Twice, before mentioning alcohol, he's mentioned communication and discussion."

And I'm saying that raising something like this under the influence is probably not the wisest of ideas

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So any tips or tricks in how to convince the wife for mff? ;/. As its prob a fantasy of most men but shes so vanillia im not sure where to even start a convo like that :/ "

Before even having a conversation about bringing a third person into your bed maybe your guys should concentrate on getting your relationship and sex life on track. Honestly and communication will work wonders, the fact you’re on here without her knowledge doesn’t bode well for an open trusting relationship . Find out what her sexual desires are and concentrate on her and then in turn tell her yours.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No. This reeks of sneaky manipulation

The first line talks about opening up and communicating. How is that sneaky?

Twice he's mentioned getting rat arsed. Most folk are less inhibited like this

Twice, before mentioning alcohol, he's mentioned communication and discussion.

And I'm saying that raising something like this under the influence is probably not the wisest of ideas "

But he's raised it before alcohol has been involved.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No. This reeks of sneaky manipulation

The first line talks about opening up and communicating. How is that sneaky?

Twice he's mentioned getting rat arsed. Most folk are less inhibited like this

Twice, before mentioning alcohol, he's mentioned communication and discussion.

And I'm saying that raising something like this under the influence is probably not the wisest of ideas

But he's raised it before alcohol has been involved."

Raised what?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No. This reeks of sneaky manipulation

The first line talks about opening up and communicating. How is that sneaky?

Twice he's mentioned getting rat arsed. Most folk are less inhibited like this

Twice, before mentioning alcohol, he's mentioned communication and discussion.

And I'm saying that raising something like this under the influence is probably not the wisest of ideas

But he's raised it before alcohol has been involved.

Raised what?"

Their sex life, spicing things up.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Their sex life, spicing things up."

Which is all very well. But if his wife has never given him an inkling before that she's remotely interested in other women, I reckon he should just keep it locked firmly in his head.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ill-Ian KissesCouple over a year ago

Somewhere over there

Communication is key; go for a nice meal with no mundane restrictions (laundry/childcare/car etc) and just chat between yourselves about how your relationship is and sex life is.

Maybe treat her to shopping trip for outfit /underwear?

Ask her if any fantasies SHE has; that way it’s her ideas first.

There was a prog on Ch5 about ‘good girls guide to kinky sex’; you could try that as a stepping stone.

The concept of MFF is WAY later down the line and your own rules etc firmly agreed.

Millie x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Communication is key; go for a nice meal with no mundane restrictions (laundry/childcare/car etc) and just chat between yourselves about how your relationship is and sex life is.

Maybe treat her to shopping trip for outfit /underwear?

Ask her if any fantasies SHE has; that way it’s her ideas first.

There was a prog on Ch5 about ‘good girls guide to kinky sex’; you could try that as a stepping stone.

The concept of MFF is WAY later down the line and your own rules etc firmly agreed.

Millie x"

That's a good point x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *nferno sausageMan over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

"No. This reeks of sneaky manipulation "

Sneaky manipulation? You're entitled to your opinion, but I disagree with it wholeheartedly. I'm giving the guy advice on what has worked for my wife and I, and our sex life and communication is better than it's ever been - in both of our opinions - as opposed to almost non-existent. Yes - I'm still here despite this - judge me all you like on that. Personally, I couldn't give a shit. If the OP feels him and his wife can broach the subject of sex without alcohol, then by all means, go for it.

Alcohol helps both my wife and I to lose our inhibitions, as i'm sure it does with a lot of folk. As far as I'm aware inhibitions are feelings of fear or embarrassment that make it difficult to behave naturally. Do correct me if I'm wrong? The way you're putting it across, consuming alcohol is way of making her do something she doesn't want to do, not a way of helping break down barriers. I think there's a word for that, and normally it doesn't involve communicating and gauging reactions.

OP.. The advice above about the Kinky girl's guide to sex is also good advice in my book. We watched it and the Mrs decided (off her own back and not sneakily manipulated into doing so) to re-enact something from episode one. Something she's never done before. Something we've never done before. Something that has improved our sex life. Don't force her to watch it, though. That would be bad. And sneaky. And manipulative.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think folks forget that married couples who invite another person to be part of their sex life is probably highly unusual in real life. Since the guy is on here on a single profile, I think it's safe to assume, that the odds of his wife suddenly wanting to explore her never before spoken of bi interests, are pretty highly stacked against him

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *esparate danMan over a year ago

glasgow

Being on the forum seems to help you lose your inhibitions

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *nferno sausageMan over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

"I think folks forget that married couples who invite another person to be part of their sex life is probably highly unusual in real life. Since the guy is on here on a single profile, I think it's safe to assume, that the odds of his wife suddenly wanting to explore her never before spoken of bi interests, are pretty highly stacked against him"

Did he mention bi interests? I musta missed that. Can straight couples not have threesomes?

My wife now wants to explore never before spoken of fantasies. Are you assuming everyone who is married communicates expertly? We didn't, and still don't. It may be sad to read, but it can be true.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *nferno sausageMan over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

"Being on the forum seems to help you lose your inhibitions

It certainly does. Does Aunt Aggie know you're here?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Did he mention bi interests? I musta missed that. Can straight couples not have threesomes?

My wife now wants to explore never before spoken of fantasies. Are you assuming everyone who is married communicates expertly? We didn't, and still don't. It may be sad to read, but it can be true. "

It's mentioned in the first line of his OP

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Somewhere online there is a quiz you can take, lists things to try and you both pick the ones that appeal to you. Then it shows you just the ones that you both ticked. Not sure what it's called but could be a fun and gentle starting point.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *hav02Man over a year ago

Glasgow/London

I'm always baffled by these sort of issues.. Why aren't married couples open and able to have a conversation about anything and everything? I'd say, bring up the next time you're being intimate ..

Then again, being open is probably why I'm still single....

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm always baffled by these sort of issues.. Why aren't married couples open and able to have a conversation about anything and everything? I'd say, bring up the next time you're being intimate ..

Then again, being open is probably why I'm still single....

Because sometimes you don't want to shock or disappoint the person you care about most.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *lancheifMan over a year ago

Ayr

Keep it in your pants pal and keep it in your head

If she's too vanilla as you call her then if you bring it up then might put your whole relationship in jeopardy, so if you want to risk it then you could always bring up fantasies in conversation after a sesh and see what hers could be and if they are both compatible in some areas

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm always baffled by these sort of issues.. Why aren't married couples open and able to have a conversation about anything and everything? I'd say, bring up the next time you're being intimate ..

Then again, being open is probably why I'm still single....

This is exactly me too haha

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Keep it in your pants pal and keep it in your head

Ohhhh...check you aw diplomatic and sensible

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *lancheifMan over a year ago

Ayr

Ohhhh...check you aw diplomatic and sensible

A'm no a complete cunt AW the time

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Some comments in this post are off putting, talk to her. What if she has never spoke about it? Maybe because she doesnt want to scare you off incase you dont want it. Communication is key.. me and my partner never spoke about our fantasties etc until i spoke with her. Then we opened up more. Has made our relationship alot more open and speak about stuff alot more.

Dont be off put by some comments, speak with your partner and if its a no then least you know where you stand with the idea, am sure your partner wont run for the hill because your asking if she has any fantasties or anything she would like to try.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *awty MaxWoman over a year ago

Edinburgh

"So any tips or tricks in how to convince the wife for mff? ;/. As its prob a fantasy of most men but shes so vanillia im not sure where to even start a convo like that :/ "

Sorry I can’t give any advice on how you should approach this with ‘your’ wife. Too many things I could assume. I don’t know how long you’ve been together, the status of your sex life and the state of your relationship. If she was soooo vanilla when you met etc...

However, you are only 30 and on here as a single man... my question is, is this the future route you see for yourself and your wife? What happens if she is a no-no for this fantasy. Is this fantasy very important to you? More than your wife?

Think hard about what you want and the consequences and talk to her.

Communication is the key and I am sure she will say that trust is to.

Get off this thread and get talking to her, not us...

Good luck OP

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

» Add a new message to this topic