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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi folks,
Having returned to the sight after a break because I thought somebody at my old work had twigged I was on here (and cancelling on a great member and party at the last minute as a result) I wanted to ask if others had similar experiences to begin with?
With hindsight I know I should have just ignored the niggling fear I had about somebody knowing I was on here.
Thinking about it now, it’s not really anybody’s business what people do to enjoy their free time (within limits obviously) but did others have a wobble at the start too?
Cheers |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Iv been on here over 10 yrs and still live with the fear someone in my real life will find out I'm on here with my husband! Lol
Dont think that will ever leave me. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Presumably the enjoyment outweighs the fear though?
Obviously I’m still very keen on discretion (because I value my privacy in general) but at the end of the day we’re all only here once. Plus, if folk choose to have sex with like minded individuals in their spare time, what’s wrong with that?!  |
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Im not ashamed about being on here and wish i could be more open with everyone but its not that easy. My daughter who is 22 found out and although she was initially shocked she now finds it amusing. My mother would kill me, my sister would disown me and my boss would sack me. Sad really when all i am doing is living my life the way i choose. |
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Unfortunately the problem is that some employers would take a dim view which could lead to disciplinary action or dismissal, because apparently consenting adults minding their own business is unacceptable  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hubby and I are worried about our lives becoming public knowledge as we stay in a small village where everyone's business is out there, even the shop keepers know what g oes on, family and friends see us as grounded, hard working couple, living a monogamous lives hahaha.
My parents well my mum is a prude and never done anything wrong I bher life and my dad is well anti same sex to put it nicely lol
I would be shunned from the family and casted as the black sheep. I'm 43 this year and still worry what my parents think lol.
We have bumped into my hubby's old school mate who is on here at cjs one night and just the other day I got a Facebook message advising me that I should maybe take my Halloween pic off fab as it's on Facebook too. Duh!!! Turns out he's a friend of ours but assured us it's our secret, now we need to make sure we don't fall out or exposed.
So two close calls but in thinking about it, if anyone spots us on here they kinda doing the same thing, are they not. So if they come across us, they up to the same naughty business as we are.
Feck it better to have fun than be a boring fucker |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Sounds like we’re all in the same boat and having a wee bit of fear is just standard for the territory on here - I just need to be better at ignoring it 
Thanks for all the responses. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm not overly fussed
(Mrs)
All of our close friends know & we've never had any problems.
Although saying that I wouldn't want the whole of our little town knowing, would make the school run awkward ha |
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"Unfortunately the problem is that some employers would take a dim view which could lead to disciplinary action or dismissal, because apparently consenting adults minding their own business is unacceptable "
We're owned by a Korean firm which has zero sense of humour or humanity. A middle boss and a young female worker got d*unk at an Xmas party and stupidly snogged in front of others. They were both dragged in and sacked. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not overly fussed
(Mrs)
All of our close friends know & we've never had any problems.
Although saying that I wouldn't want the whole of our little town knowing, would make the school run awkward ha "
Or the after school run more interesting. |
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Cancelling, or did you do a disappearing trick without letting anyone know? Big difference 
If i come across anyone i know, which only happened once so far, I'd block them and keep doing what I'm doing.
Maybe go in hiding for a while until you're over the worst of the shock. Wouldn't be too hasty deleting the profile in a split second, spur of the moment decision - losing all your friends and veris x |
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"Hubby and I are worried about our lives becoming public knowledge as we stay in a small village where everyone's business is out there, even the shop keepers know what g oes on, family and friends see us as grounded, hard working couple, living a monogamous lives hahaha.
My parents well my mum is a prude and never done anything wrong I bher life and my dad is well anti same sex to put it nicely lol
I would be shunned from the family and casted as the black sheep. I'm 43 this year and still worry what my parents think lol.
We have bumped into my hubby's old school mate who is on here at cjs one night and just the other day I got a Facebook message advising me that I should maybe take my Halloween pic off fab as it's on Facebook too. Duh!!! Turns out he's a friend of ours but assured us it's our secret, now we need to make sure we don't fall out or exposed.
So two close calls but in thinking about it, if anyone spots us on here they kinda doing the same thing, are they not. So if they come across us, they up to the same naughty business as we are.
Feck it better to have fun than be a boring fucker "
Same here small town etc ,parents thoughts are not an issue ,but have a son and grand daughters so their opinion would matter ,but being realistic the fun deffo outweighs the risk and anyone close to where we live on here are blocked ... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Cancelling, or did you do a disappearing trick without letting anyone know? Big difference
If i come across anyone i know, which only happened once so far, I'd block them and keep doing what I'm doing.
Maybe go in hiding for a while until you're over the worst of the shock. Wouldn't be too hasty deleting the profile in a split second, spur of the moment decision - losing all your friends and veris x"
  That’s a very fair point and, I’ve come to learn, sensible advice. Thankfully older and wiser now
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If they know you're on here then that means that they are on here
Which means you are both on here and looking for the same thing so they couldn't take the moral high ground over you then if they are doing the exact same thing |
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I uploaded a face pic for someone the other week and fab made it a public pic
So i didn't know about this for about a week, i don't know how many people looked at my profile while that was public and if anyone who knows me might have seen it and first thing i thought was
F U C K !!!!
Then i said fuck it and went with what i said above |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And if work ever sacks you because of your personnal life then they can get done for that as its not in company time
It would depend on what your job is."
Agreed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yep it's one of the reasons I shy away from some events or nearby social events. I just wish folk on here would understand that just because I value my privacy and like to be discrete it doesnt translate into being because im cheating behind my partners back. Im a single guy who just doesn't want all this being known by all and sundry. Im not embarrassed but things are much better kept covert... For an easier life anyway. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Im not ashamed about being on here and wish i could be more open with everyone but its not that easy. My daughter who is 22 found out and although she was initially shocked she now finds it amusing. My mother would kill me, my sister would disown me and my boss would sack me. Sad really when all i am doing is living my life the way i choose."
This! I have no problem people knowing I am on here. Unfortunately my eldest teenage son and his pals are always the little feckers making fake profiles and I would not like him to get slagged off if they came across my profile! |
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Unable to be yourself, be open about your sexuality, live without prejudice, without judgement, without persecution.
A dream which will never happen as humans are preconditioned idiots believing in anything else, having faith in anything else, but themselves. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Problem is 99% of folk would like to try fab I bet!
People easily judge you if you have an alternative lifestyle, just look at that poor girl who was murdered in New Zealand.
The retrospective judgement she received from people when they found out she enjoyed BDSM....horrendous.
Personally I play when I can and don’t tend to do it around the place I live or work
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(Un)Luckily for me, my fab life is not much to speak of 
