FabSwingers.com > Forums > Scotland > How to shoot yourself in the foot
How to shoot yourself in the foot
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Absolutely the right choice people can make up their mind if they want to meet you it's shit when you find out down the line that people are playing away
Honesty is better from the start |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I concur. All my married lovers have been clear and honest (ha) from the start. "
I'm not married, but I am exploring without 'permission', and weirdly I have been more honest with the lovely fab people I have met than anyone else in my life. Intimacy and isn't only about sexual connection.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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everyone's circumstances are different and nobody should judge until they know the full story bit yes it's much better to be honest and upfront from the start. that way you will meet people who want to be with you rather than someone finding out later. this is not fair on either of you
mrs shambles |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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First line on my profile says I’m attached, I’ve had people miss that then accuse me of misleading them. Been called so many things for being here and being attached that they’re starting to repeat themselves.
As far as I’m concerned it’s no ones business but mine as to why I’m here but I’ve my reasons and people don’t like it they can jog on it really doesn’t put me up nor down |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We take the view that if someone says they're single then that's on them. We're not here to run a full scale investigation into their background. We're only looking for a few hours of fun and are in no other sense affiliated to the people we may meet, nor do we want to be.
If at a later stage we find out they're not single then that's none of our business. |
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"everyone's circumstances are different and nobody should judge until they know the full story bit yes it's much better to be honest and upfront from the start. that way you will meet people who want to be with you rather than someone finding out later. this is not fair on either of you
mrs shambles"
Much appreciated - and it is so true that circumstances are very varied - judgement (if at all) should not just passed by either black or white - happy times everyone
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"We take the view that if someone says they're single then that's on them. We're not here to run a full scale investigation into their background. We're only looking for a few hours of fun and are in no other sense affiliated to the people we may meet, nor do we want to be.
If at a later stage we find out they're not single then that's none of our business. "
Fair point, but does it actually influence your initial choice if someones profile mention either single or in a relationship? or just a case of attraction to profile-pic? |
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By *imbobaMan
over a year ago
Glasgow |
If someone isn’t prepared to be honest and open about their martial status - which is important to know for many people - then what else is that someone not being honest about when they present themselves?
Being honest and open is an indicator of respect and trust that fellow humans, Fabbers included, deserve. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think it would to any greater extent. The guy in question may well be sexually suppressed by his partner at home, which to us is a selfish trait, and in many ways even worse that that of the guy doing the cheating.
People are not possessions. No one has the right to serve a sentence of celibacy on anyone under the banner of it being a commited relationship. This will always lead to sexual frustration.
Again, any feelings of guilt must be with the one who is actively cheating. I cannot arbitrate or account for the moral views of someone I have to affilation with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd prefare to know if someone's married or not..then it's my decision.but really I'm not that naive to think iv not met a guy that says hes single and he wasnt. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd prefare to know if someone's married or not..then it's my decision.but really I'm not that naive to think iv not met a guy that says hes single and he wasnt."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd prefare to know if someone's married or not..then it's my decision.but really I'm not that naive to think iv not met a guy that says hes single and he wasnt."
I thinks that's the point. You have no way of knowing either way. |
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"I don't think it would to any greater extent. The guy in question may well be sexually suppressed by his partner at home, which to us is a selfish trait, and in many ways even worse that that of the guy doing the cheating.
People are not possessions. No one has the right to serve a sentence of celibacy on anyone under the banner of it being a commited relationship. This will always lead to sexual frustration.
Again, any feelings of guilt must be with the one who is actively cheating. I cannot arbitrate or account for the moral views of someone I have to affilation with."
..now i am getting in troubled water..i actually dont feel guilty for cheating as i adore my wife and respect her - circumstances mean that i have either to choose not cheating and probably be miserable or enjoying mutual fun on occasions with strangers (some now friends) and have a balanced feel of wellbeing - maybe just making excuses butit makes a happier family life... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't think it would to any greater extent. The guy in question may well be sexually suppressed by his partner at home, which to us is a selfish trait, and in many ways even worse that that of the guy doing the cheating.
People are not possessions. No one has the right to serve a sentence of celibacy on anyone under the banner of it being a commited relationship. This will always lead to sexual frustration.
Again, any feelings of guilt must be with the one who is actively cheating. I cannot arbitrate or account for the moral views of someone I have to affilation with.
..now i am getting in troubled water..i actually dont feel guilty for cheating as i adore my wife and respect her - circumstances mean that i have either to choose not cheating and probably be miserable or enjoying mutual fun on occasions with strangers (some now friends) and have a balanced feel of wellbeing - maybe just making excuses butit makes a happier family life..."
Maybe you're on here because you love her and thats a good point.
Some people might not get that logic.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't think it would to any greater extent. The guy in question may well be sexually suppressed by his partner at home, which to us is a selfish trait, and in many ways even worse that that of the guy doing the cheating.
People are not possessions. No one has the right to serve a sentence of celibacy on anyone under the banner of it being a commited relationship. This will always lead to sexual frustration.
Again, any feelings of guilt must be with the one who is actively cheating. I cannot arbitrate or account for the moral views of someone I have to affilation with.
..now i am getting in troubled water..i actually dont feel guilty for cheating as i adore my wife and respect her - circumstances mean that i have either to choose not cheating and probably be miserable or enjoying mutual fun on occasions with strangers (some now friends) and have a balanced feel of wellbeing - maybe just making excuses butit makes a happier family life..."
You're certainly not in troubled water as far as I'm concerned. I was in a commited relationship for years where I felt sexually suppressed. I cheated without conscience more than once. Again, no one has the right to assert that level of control. |
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"..now i am getting in troubled water..i actually dont feel guilty for cheating as i adore my wife and respect her - circumstances mean that i have either to choose not cheating and probably be miserable or enjoying mutual fun on occasions with strangers (some now friends) and have a balanced feel of wellbeing - maybe just making excuses butit makes a happier family life..."
I've been on here a few months now, on this Fab iteration, and my family life, and also my sex life with my wife, have improved tenfold for my being here. I've only ever played away twice - the last time being 4 years ago. I felt guilty on both occasions, and up until recently I've felt guilty for just being here. I can't say I do now, though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Couples on here ..Cheat "
There are many takes on this. What is there to say of a partner who actively suppresses the sexual desires of their significant other; and not just temporarily, but over the course of many years? Could any person of serious fortitude claim that the person that eventually cheated had no cause to cgeat, or is in any way a bad person?
If course there's also people who can cheat without conscience in just about any situation. That's an entirely different argument.
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"Couples on here ..Cheat
There are many takes on this. What is there to say of a partner who actively suppresses the sexual desires of their significant other; and not just temporarily, but over the course of many years? Could any person of serious fortitude claim that the person that eventually cheated had no cause to cgeat, or is in any way a bad person?
If course there's also people who can cheat without conscience in just about any situation. That's an entirely different argument.
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I would not think of cheating with someone i would meet in Pub, Gym or work as i would find this a betrayal of my partner but strangely enough no such issues with someone from here - |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Couples on here ..Cheat
There are many takes on this. What is there to say of a partner who actively suppresses the sexual desires of their significant other; and not just temporarily, but over the course of many years? Could any person of serious fortitude claim that the person that eventually cheated had no cause to cgeat, or is in any way a bad person?
If course there's also people who can cheat without conscience in just about any situation. That's an entirely different argument.
I would not think of cheating with someone i would meet in Pub, Gym or work as i would find this a betrayal of my partner but strangely enough no such issues with someone from here - "
And how do you arrive at that terminus of thought?
If you're actively engaged in sexual intimacy with someone else then you're cheating no matter how it comes about.
It seems you've managed to convince yourself that being on here is perfectly acceptable and doesn't truly constitute cheating to the same level. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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See there’s the difference I think, I feel bad every time I do anything on here 10 years ago you’d have never seen me in a position like this but things change |
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"Couples on here ..Cheat
There are many takes on this. What is there to say of a partner who actively suppresses the sexual desires of their significant other; and not just temporarily, but over the course of many years? Could any person of serious fortitude claim that the person that eventually cheated had no cause to cgeat, or is in any way a bad person?
If course there's also people who can cheat without conscience in just about any situation. That's an entirely different argument.
I would not think of cheating with someone i would meet in Pub, Gym or work as i would find this a betrayal of my partner but strangely enough no such issues with someone from here -
And how do you arrive at that terminus of thought?
If you're actively engaged in sexual intimacy with someone else then you're cheating no matter how it comes about.
It seems you've managed to convince yourself that being on here is perfectly acceptable and doesn't truly constitute cheating to the same level. "
I know it doesnt make sense - cheating is cheating but on here you are upfront and it is up to the Female/Couple to make an informed decision - happy times |
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