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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Last three "sub" guys we have contacted have been surprisingly pushy and metaphorically come with a list of demands/requests...! Has sub changed definition in the past 6 months? X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Did you expect them to put up with your demands instead?
That is the precise reason we were looking for a sub male... Duh! "
I think you were looking for something altogether different...doh |
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"Last three "sub" guys we have contacted have been surprisingly pushy and metaphorically come with a list of demands/requests...! Has sub changed definition in the past 6 months? X"
I expect potential subs to let me know what their kinks are and what their soft/hard boundaries are so I can decide whether or not to play with them but also I've had a lot of "subs" who think I'm a "YourKink™?" dispensing machine, free sex worker, fantasy provider etc and while they want to serve they don't seem to pay attention to what I say or my needs just their fantasy.
If you're having issues with the second type then I understand your frustration.
Their problem is they love the idea of being a sub but it's a porn based version of submission which bears no resemblance to reality.
My suggestion would be a more thorough initial chat/social meet and cut it if you get more than two red flags. It's reduced time spent significantly for me.
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I'm a sub, and neither pushy nor demanding. I would however expect to be told the agenda and have the right to turn it down if it was not at all to my liking.
Saying that I'm pretty flexible and open minded. Maybe not all subs are? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Last three "sub" guys we have contacted have been surprisingly pushy and metaphorically come with a list of demands/requests...! Has sub changed definition in the past 6 months? X"
The sub is always the one in control. They set the limits. Basic dom/sub dynamics |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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who knows ?
they have probably been to pro dommes who will do what you want for money
if they haven't they should
i'm looking for a lifestyle domme but i don't think this place will ever be the right place to find one |
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By *ltKittyWoman
over a year ago
Glasgow |
Whilst you're looking for a power exchange relationship with a sub male, they're the ones that grant you control and are bound to come with limits/requests/ideals etc.
They won't automatically submit to anything because they're a sub, they have to choose to submit.
I'd talk to males with an open mind and be open to negotiation rather than a set of demands right off the bat 
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