FabSwingers.com > Forums > Scotland > Is there anything you won't do as a Sub...?

Is there anything you won't do as a Sub...?

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Just out of interest... as the topic suggests, what are you willing to do and not do as a submissive player?

For example, I've been exploring this further and have found that I really dislike my hair being pulled and also when someone cums in my mouth. Given that these are perhaps 'typical' sub traits... I'm curious to know about others' experiences

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By *TBSMan over a year ago

close enough

Every sub has the right to hard rules and any Dom should adhere to those wishes, every six months hard and soft rules can be talked about to see if any changes can work for both

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By *tew008Man over a year ago

edinburgh

"Every sub has the right to hard rules and any Dom should adhere to those wishes, every six months hard and soft rules can be talked about to see if any changes can work for both

Every six months?

Your subs have a calendar invite?

Although I agree time to relax and talk about limits is needed.

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By *YKellyMan over a year ago

Aberdeen

Seem to be slightly conflating willing and enjoying there. Some subs may be willing to do things they don't enjoy. In fact that may form a big part of their ds relationship. Not claiming to be any sort of expert communication and consent at heart of any decent relationship.

Without topping from the bottom any sub I have been involved with was really into anything we got up to.

Hope you get some good replies

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By *abrina59TV/TS over a year ago

moved to cuckold land

"Every sub has the right to hard rules and any Dom should adhere to those wishes, every six months hard and soft rules can be talked about to see if any changes can work for both

agree with this, as much subs limits should be pushed but the sub must have the right to stop things at any time usually with an agreed safe word.

however the right dom/dome for you will know when to push their sub and when not to and usually that will be through talking together which a must

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Seem to be slightly conflating willing and enjoying there. Some subs may be willing to do things they don't enjoy. In fact that may form a big part of their ds relationship. Not claiming to be any sort of expert communication and consent at heart of any decent relationship.

Without topping from the bottom any sub I have been involved with was really into anything we got up to.

Hope you get some good replies "

No conflation intended... didn't mention enjoyment.

Perhaps I should have said 'would rarely be willing to have my hair pulled' etc. rather than I simply dislike it...

That was me being polite actually. I really fucking hate it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Am not a sub but all the subs I have been with have had there own rules.

Plus all subs have there own set of rules it's about respecting them.

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By *ittleMizzNaughty88.Woman over a year ago

Renfrewshire

As it's all relatively new to me being submissive ive not found anything ive disliked or safe words have come into play.

I'd say that's down to a good Dom that knows the hard limits.

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By *tew008Man over a year ago

edinburgh

"As it's all relatively new to me being submissive ive not found anything ive disliked or safe words have come into play.

I'd say that's down to a good Dom that knows the hard limits.

Yup, want a good understanding before they get the branding iron out.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Anything should be stopped when the other person feels uncomfortable. No question.

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By *ittlemissnaughtybutniceWoman over a year ago

Glasgow

"As it's all relatively new to me being submissive ive not found anything ive disliked or safe words have come into play.

I'd say that's down to a good Dom that knows the hard limits.

This for me too ....... *watch the inboxes explode with messages from wannabe doms*

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By *ittlemissnaughtybutniceWoman over a year ago

Glasgow

"Just out of interest... as the topic suggests, what are you willing to do and not do as a submissive player?

Lx"

I actually quite like hair pulling. Not going to disclose anything else on an open forum though.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm intrigued by the whole dom/sub relationship and will admit it confuses me more than a little...

I love the idea of someone taking control, possibly pushing me to my limits or maybe even just beyond them. But in reality I don't know if I'm just too stubborn, if that's even the appropriate word, to allow someone to control me like that.

Then I read some things and think, "hang on a minute....it's actually the sub who is calling the shots here..."

See, told you I was confused!

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By *luebell888Woman over a year ago

Glasgowish

It intrigues and excites me if im honest but i will never call a male Master or Sir.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Then I read some things and think, "hang on a minute....it's actually the sub who is calling the shots here..."

But in this kinda relationship surely that's the only way to ensure it doesn't potentially turn abusive

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 10/07/19 17:34:19]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Then I read some things and think, "hang on a minute....it's actually the sub who is calling the shots here..."

But in this kinda relationship surely that's the only way to ensure it doesn't potentially turn abusive "

Yeah, there would have to be a great deal of trust is what I'm getting at.....and maybe I just don't trust most folk.

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By *tew008Man over a year ago

edinburgh

"It intrigues and excites me if im honest but i will never call a male Master or Sir."

Just call me your lord, eminence, almighty, divinity or on above all.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Just out of interest... as the topic suggests, what are you willing to do and not do as a submissive player?

I actually quite like hair pulling. Not going to disclose anything else on an open forum though.

Perhaps a discussion to be had upon our next meet

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'm intrigued by the whole dom/sub relationship and will admit it confuses me more than a little...

Then I read some things and think, "hang on a minute....it's actually the sub who is calling the shots here..."

See, told you I was confused!"

I felt similar to yourself in the beginning, not thinking that I could relinquish control... but when it comes down to it, it is indeed the sub who holds the key to what boundaries are pushed and when. I suppose that fact alone is what excites me about it too.

Trust is mega important and being with someone who respects you. A much more indepth relationship than I first perceived...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I won’t go on if we are more than 1-0 with less than 3 mins to play. Can’t make an impact in that time

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"It intrigues and excites me if im honest but i will never call a male Master or Sir.

Just call me your lord, eminence, almighty, divinity or on above all.

Oh, you'll have them queuing up I'm sure...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Trust is mega important and being with someone who respects you. A much more indepth relationship than I first perceived... "

Sounds like the foundations to any kind of good relationship

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By *ittle_missknowitallWoman over a year ago

glasgow

I’m not an expert but I’m very experienced in the whole BDSM world and what works with one pairing might not with the next

It all comes down to dynamics and personalities

SSC is the key to it working though

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’m not an expert but I’m very experienced in the whole BDSM world and what works with one pairing might not with the next

It all comes down to dynamics and personalities

SSC is the key to it working though

Safe, sane and consensual?....aye, ok...ok...I admit to googling it.

Trying to be one of the cool kids

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By *TBSMan over a year ago

close enough

"Every sub has the right to hard rules and any Dom should adhere to those wishes, every six months hard and soft rules can be talked about to see if any changes can work for both

Every six months?

Your subs have a calendar invite?

Although I agree time to relax and talk about limits is needed."

There was no mention of myself having a sub.

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By *luebell888Woman over a year ago

Glasgowish

"I’m not an expert but I’m very experienced in the whole BDSM world and what works with one pairing might not with the next

It all comes down to dynamics and personalities

SSC is the key to it working though

Safe, sane and consensual?....aye, ok...ok...I admit to googling it.

Trying to be one of the cool kids

Glad i was not the only clueless one. Often wondered how you say these safe words they talk about if your mouth is gagged.

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By *ithardscotMan over a year ago

Kelty

No poo, blood play, breath play or unsafe practices. Open to most other stuff though.

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By *ane DTV/TS over a year ago

Glasgow ish

Safe, sane, consensual. Traffic lights and safe words.

Traffic lights - discussed prior to any "play".

green = ok,

yellow = erm oookay(just),

Red = nope dial it back/stop

Safe word - Stop!! Get me out of this now.

If gagged or unable to speak, hand actions work for traffic lights, a ball in the hand acts as the safe word.

Talk and trust is seriously important.

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By *ittlemissnaughtybutniceWoman over a year ago

Glasgow

"Just out of interest... as the topic suggests, what are you willing to do and not do as a submissive player?

I actually quite like hair pulling. Not going to disclose anything else on an open forum though.

Perhaps a discussion to be had upon our next meet

You might be a bit shocked

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’m very much someone who likes to be in charge in the bedroom, it’s rare for me to let my partner be in control, there isn’t many things I wouldn’t try and if I like it I’ll keep doing it, I love getting my hair pulled but I don’t see it as being dominated tbh because I’m usually the one asking for it lol certain things sexually are a no go for a new partner and have to be earned

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’m not an expert but I’m very experienced in the whole BDSM world and what works with one pairing might not with the next

It all comes down to dynamics and personalities

SSC is the key to it working though

Safe, sane and consensual?....aye, ok...ok...I admit to googling it.

Trying to be one of the cool kids

Glad i was not the only clueless one."

There are the more upto date versions of SSC.... just add to the confusion

- RACK - Risk-Aware Consensual Kink

- PRICK - Personal Responsibility, Informed, Consensual Kink

In essence be safe, understand what your doing and risks involved and be consenting before any actions are taken.

Various definitions and websites go into it deeper...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’m not an expert but I’m very experienced in the whole BDSM world and what works with one pairing might not with the next

It all comes down to dynamics and personalities

SSC is the key to it working though

Safe, sane and consensual?....aye, ok...ok...I admit to googling it.

Trying to be one of the cool kids

Glad i was not the only clueless one.

There are the more upto date versions of SSC.... just add to the confusion

- RACK - Risk-Aware Consensual Kink

- PRICK - Personal Responsibility, Informed, Consensual Kink

In essence be safe, understand what your doing and risks involved and be consenting before any actions are taken.

Various definitions and websites go into it deeper...

Don't these apply to any kind of sex though?

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By *ighland gentlemanMan over a year ago

Ardgay

There are soft limits and hard limits. Boundaries that can be explored and pushed but as with anything communication is key. Both beforehand and during.

In one FWB relationship she wanted to explore her boundaries, we had purchased a fair few toys but one of her tasks was to choose 3 and have them laid out when we played. That gave her some control although also could be a surprise as they may not be used as she imagined!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Surely acronyms muddy the waters? Who wants to pause a session to Google them

Set safe words. Add in the no no's (no hair pulling if it's not for you) and go with the flow.

All after the trust has been built up of course. Can't really be done on a first meet. Build up to it.

Above all just have fun

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By *alcon43Woman over a year ago

Paisley

Where to start. Hair pulling shouldn’t actually hurt. If it’s done correctly it’s more sensual than painful in my experience anyway. For some they may use it to cause pain or to restrict movement.

All subs are different and can be anything from a slave who obeys everything, pain sub who enjoys extreme pain, sensual and sensory sub, sub that gets used as a toy to please the Dom/Domme, and loads of scenarios in between.

Personally I don’t do slave or extreme pain and I am no-ones toy. Doms/Dommes should also know how to care for their sub after play. I have enjoyed pushing my boundaries with an experienced Dom in the past and did do a wide variety of things.

Remember there’s a difference in being a sub and being bullied. I’ve seen Doms bully subs and become too controlling.

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By *izzabelle and well hungCouple over a year ago

Edinburgh.

It’s supposed to be fun. If it’s not, find another hobby b

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Open the hatch if someone knocks on it.

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By *iceandtightMan over a year ago

Aberdeen

As a wee bit od a sub

I find my limits are very diferent depending on who im with. Most guys I've been with havent started out "Doms" I've actually had to ummm train them into realisimg they can go more dominant and take the lead... literally

x x x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I won't do a lot of things

like scat,watersports,blood,needles,castration or anything that leaves a permanent mark

not a big fan of cbt either

thats probably one of the reasons i don't have a domme

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I won't do a lot of things

like scat,watersports,blood,needles,castration or anything that leaves a permanent mark

not a big fan of cbt either

thats probably one of the reasons i don't have a domme

You just havent found the right person to play with yet. For all you know the next person to meet could be ths one who pushes your buttons in all the right ways..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You just havent found the right person to play with yet. For all you know the next person to meet could be ths one who pushes your buttons in all the right ways..

this

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’m not an expert but I’m very experienced in the whole BDSM world and what works with one pairing might not with the next

It all comes down to dynamics and personalities

SSC is the key to it working though

Safe, sane and consensual?....aye, ok...ok...I admit to googling it.

Trying to be one of the cool kids

Glad i was not the only clueless one.

There are the more upto date versions of SSC.... just add to the confusion

- RACK - Risk-Aware Consensual Kink

- PRICK - Personal Responsibility, Informed, Consensual Kink

In essence be safe, understand what your doing and risks involved and be consenting before any actions are taken.

Various definitions and websites go into it deeper...

Don't these apply to any kind of sex though?

Yes. The same could be said about life in general..

Acronyms aside, much of anything to do with bdsm of fetish or whatever you are into or interested in, common sense prevails.

Like other have already;

-Build Trust

-Communication

-Know the boundaries.

-Know how to communicate during play. Safe words, red amber green or whatever.

-Know the risks and Educate yourself before you dive into something.

-Be safe and have fun

Oh and, "Mr Grey is not a role model he was a manipulative bully!"

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By *ittleMizzNaughty88.Woman over a year ago

Renfrewshire

"As it's all relatively new to me being submissive ive not found anything ive disliked or safe words have come into play.

I'd say that's down to a good Dom that knows the hard limits.

This for me too ....... *watch the inboxes explode with messages from wannabe doms*

Theory was spot on.

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By *asterslittlewhoreCouple over a year ago

Edinburgh

"I'm intrigued by the whole dom/sub relationship and will admit it confuses me more than a little...

Then I read some things and think, "hang on a minute....it's actually the sub who is calling the shots here..."

See, told you I was confused!"

Iam as stubborn as they come in everything but iam very submissive with the right person

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By *lbie6Man over a year ago

glasgow

As a sub I'm not into taking male cock

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